Relationships & Dating
178 episodes · 2018–2021 · 89 debates · 141 pieces of advice · 189 stories · 187 quotes
The Daily Talk Show — Australia’s daily podcast, hosted by Tommy Jackett and Josh Janssen — discussed relationships & dating across 178 of its 1,022 daily episodes between 2018 and 2021. This page collects what was actually said: 187 verbatim quotes, 141 pieces of advice, 189 stories told on air, 89 on-air debates, each linked to the exact moment in the episode and on YouTube.
Where they stand
Moments where the table disagreed, straight from the transcripts.
Wanted to read out Ian Traynor's full list of everyone who appeared on the show to acknowledge them all.
Didn't want to just read a list; preferred to be more specific and reach out to people personally rather than reciting names.
value of an unscripted daily podcast format
Ep 100033:11Believes the lack of a heavily scripted format lowers the barrier to listening and made the show feel like 'catching up with friends,' which helped his mental health during lockdown.
Agrees, framing it as stripping back the 'perfection' that many podcasts are crafted around.
Suggests that acceptable boundaries (like nude Jenga with other men) may be different/looser in some gay relationships compared to his own heterosexual relationship norms.
Notes that behaviors that would count as cheating in a straight relationship context might be viewed differently, citing a gay friend's comments about a smaller dating pool, while acknowledging neither host is an expert on the topic.
Prefers to talk about a disagreement straight away rather than let it sit.
Amy (Tommy's partner, as described by Tommy)
Needs time to process her thoughts before discussing a disagreement.
Feels a responsibility to be honest about struggles since the show is meant to show 'light and shade,' even though sharing the vulnerability triggers some unwanted advice-giving from listeners.
Agrees but adds that not everyone has an outlet to communicate struggles, implying the podcast serves a valuable function despite the discomfort.
Raises that traditional diamonds aren't 'woke' due to blood diamond issues and wonders about ethical/synthetic alternatives.
Wants a real, ethically sourced diamond and would not be happy with a synthetic one.
Raises the question of whether there's an unspoken expectation that gifts should roughly cover what it cost the couple to host that guest.
Firmly rejects this expectation, saying you can't expect anything from guests and it would be wrong to judge people based on what they give.
Finds R. Kelly's lyrics (e.g., in 'Ignition') creepy in retrospect given his later criminal convictions, saying 'we should have been on to that guy a very long time ago.'
Agrees and jokes along, quoting the lyrics himself to highlight how overtly suggestive they are.
Views Instagram and Facebook mainly as tools to stay in touch with friends and life milestones, not as a content platform.
Views Instagram primarily as an algorithm-driven content platform that creates shallow, 'random traffic' connections and undermines deep relationships and critical thinking.
Believes a handjob involves less emotional intimacy/passion than kissing and would rather do that than kiss if forced to choose, because it's more detached.
Agrees kissing is more intimate and notes that sex workers reportedly avoid or charge more for kissing because of its perceived intimacy.
whether announcing a kind gesture (like doing the dishwasher) makes it more or less romantic
Ep 872▶ 18:18Considers whether communicating that you're doing something because you know your partner likes it could add to the romance, while acknowledging it might come across as annoying.
Believes you should just do the gesture (dishwasher, flowers) without mentioning it at all, as announcing it undercuts the romantic effect.
It's good to overdeliver and do things for a partner even if you don't have to — doing nothing isn't romantic, and treating 'not having to do anything' as a free pass makes people bad at relationships.
Don't do romantic gestures just because it's an anniversary milestone — do them because you genuinely want to be romantic, not out of obligation to a date.
Advice from the show
all 141pieces →What was actually said, attributed and linked to the moment.
Should you wait until the perfect moment to start a creative project?
If you're waiting to start something, just do it—the journey and the ride are wild, and much of what you create comes from being open to seeing what happens combined with sticking at it consistently.
How can someone figure out what they actually want from dating and relationships?
Stacey June advises 'wiping your slate clean' of inherited family and societal narratives about sex and relationships, then deliberately exploring your own life to discover what you actually want, rather than following scripts absorbed from media or upbringing.
How can you catch yourself lying in daily life?
Try using the filter of actively asking yourself 'am I lying right now?' in moments of communication to notice where lying is a first go-to response.
How should couples or close partners handle disagreements?
Tommy says he prefers to address issues immediately, but notes his partner Amy needs time to process first, and that forcing a conversation too early can be the wrong move; balancing both approaches works best.
Should you suppress sadness or allow yourself to feel it?
Tommy suggests leaning into sadness and grief, rather than always seeking positivity, is a necessary part of processing emotions and can prevent them resurfacing later.
How should you handle feeling low or struggling emotionally?
Sometimes the best approach isn't to problem-solve immediately but to just sit in the feeling for a bit, and finding presence with a partner (not overthinking) can be cathartic.
How can you ensure you get the engagement ring you actually want?
Create a Pinterest board of exactly what you want (cut, band style, stone details) so a partner has clear reference, and consider having the ring custom designed once the diamond is sourced.
Should you send digital wedding invitations to save money?
Tommy suggests that sending only a digital/photo invite (rather than a printed card) can save significant money across many guests, but warns it carries a real risk of miscommunication, as one of his friends misunderstood the event entirely.
Should wedding guests feel obligated to give a gift matching the cost of their attendance?
Tommy argues you can't expect gifts from guests and shouldn't judge people who don't give one — the point of inviting someone is to have them there, not to profit from their attendance.
How should you approach dating app banter before meeting someone in person?
Don't oversell yourself with witty banter that sets unrealistic expectations; instead be a 'Kinder Surprise' — under-promise and over-deliver so the in-person meeting surprises and delights rather than underwhelms.
How do you keep a relationship strong after having kids?
Matty and Laura enforce a 'no mobile phones after 7pm' rule once their daughter is in bed so they can focus on each other, acknowledging they break it sometimes but try to make a conscious effort.
How can couples keep track of whether their relationship is balanced across different areas?
Use a 1-to-10 scorecard covering categories like finance, respect and sex; as long as scores are spread out reasonably across the board (not multiple simultaneous lows), the relationship is considered healthy.
How can couples avoid constant nagging about small issues?
Batch concerns into a scheduled check-in ("bitch batching") rather than raising complaints continuously as they arise.
What's proper etiquette after staying over at someone's place following a date?
Always send a message thanking the person for having you over, even if it's just a quick text the next day.
How do you make a romantic gesture feel genuine rather than performative?
Do thoughtful things like chores, buying flowers, or planning dinners without mentioning it or being asked — doing it only after being asked makes it look reactive rather than genuine.
Should you wait for the 'perfect' version of a romantic gesture (like nicer flowers) before doing it?
Don't wait for better flowers or a more ideal moment — just do the gesture now; quality matters less than actually following through.
Should romantic gestures only happen on milestone dates like anniversaries?
Doing nothing isn't romantic — true romance is doing something for your partner that you don't technically have to do, not just performing an obligatory gesture tied to a date on the calendar.
How can parents stop kids from treating gift-givers as 'dealers' rather than building reciprocal relationships?
Josh suggests having the child create something in return (like a drawing) to give back to the gift-giver, so the relationship feels like it goes both ways rather than being one-directional.
How should you set up audio/video for a video date?
Tommy advises Jess to use an external microphone rather than computer audio even on a casual video date, suggesting she could take it to another room so it's out of frame but still improves sound quality.
What's a good icebreaker question for a first video date?
Jess and Josh suggest starting with 'show me your dog' (or 'puppy') as an easy, slightly cheeky icebreaker to get the conversation going.
How can couples avoid repetitive, annoying low-level arguments (like what to wear)?
Set a simple standing rule to remove the need for repeated discussion—Josh suggests Tommy tell Amy he'll proactively inform her only when it's too hot for a jumper, making jumper-wearing the default otherwise.
How do you come across authentically in a high-pressure audition or interview?
Garrick says he stopped trying to guess what casting wanted and instead talked to the panel as if speaking to a mate, reasoning that an over-the-top or fake persona would be seen through immediately, and accepted that if it wasn't good enough, that was okay too.
How should friends/family support someone struggling, without enabling self-pity?
Balance empathy with tough love — care about what someone is going through, but don't let sympathy slide into enabling them to feel sorry for themselves indefinitely.
How do you build chemistry with a co-host?
Put in as much effort off-air as on-air — go out, have drinks, have real conversations — because genuine friendship underpins on-air chemistry.
Stories told on air
Inspired by The Boron Letters' advice to rewrite favourite writing, Josh set out to handwrite the entire book 'This Is Marketing' by Seth Godin. Trev Long bid $500 for charity on the finished book, but Josh only wrote around 70 pages, hurting his wrist, and never completed it despite multiple deadline extensions.
told by Josh Janssen
The mystery grocery delivery unboxing
Ep 100021:46During the live stream, an unexpected grocery delivery arrives at the door; the hosts and George Martin unbox it live on air, finding crumpets, cheesecake, party pies, fruit cups, maple syrup, and other items, eventually learning it was sent by a viewer named Whitey.
told by Tommy Jackett and Josh Janssen
Tommy describes being shown his friend's boyfriend's OnlyFans account, including paid DMs and pay-per-photo mechanics, as an example of how different that world is.
told by Tommy Jackett
Josh tells a (deliberately altered to protect identity) story about a mate who was used to masturbating while his wife was at work, developed a habit during COVID living in an apartment, and eventually had to have an awkward conversation with his partner about it during quarantine.
told by Josh Janssen
Tommy shares a gratitude moment of feeling his unborn baby kick while resting his head on his wife Amy's stomach.
told by Tommy Jackett
Tommy explains how his wedding ring journey involved Amy buying the wrong size, his mum giving him his late grandfather's ring to wear instead, and eventually getting a custom crown-style ring made by his sister-in-law's sister, which he now wears as his wedding ring.
told by Tommy Jackett
Tommy sent a digital (photo) wedding invitation to a friend to save money on printed cards. The friend, travelling in Cuba, got sick (possibly from rum) and nearly missed his flight, then called Tommy to apologize, revealing he had mistakenly believed the event was an engagement party rather than the wedding itself, despite having already booked and paid for flights.
told by Tommy Jackett
The group recounts how Mason met Grace, a long-time listener from Perth, earlier in the year, and how she eventually moved to Melbourne to be with him, including an emotional flowers moment captured on camera.
told by Mason Lauder, Grace, Tommy Jackett, Josh Janssen, George Martin
Naysan describes how his wedding DJ demanded more money once the event was underway, then sulked with arms folded for the rest of the night, forcing Naysan to DJ his own wedding.
told by Naysan Naraqi (referred to as Mason Lauder in transcript)
Mason recounts how he and Grace decided to start dating six months earlier via a late-night conversation, and how they marked the anniversary with a delivered Italian meal, a bedroom picnic with candles, and dressing up in a buttoned shirt with rolled sleeves.
told by Mason Lauder
GB followed through on a plan discussed on Weekend Banter to surprise his partner Han with flowers, filmed her reaction to share with the show, but she was annoyed to learn it was filmed as content and that the idea stemmed from a prior on-show discussion, making it feel less spontaneous.
told by George Martin
Tommy recalls that George organised a six-course degustation dinner from a restaurant on Smith Street for his partner Hannah's birthday, a process that took hours and was filmed as an anniversary vlog.
told by Tommy Jackett
Jess recounts being taken on a date to Sovereign Hill at age 21, feeling it was a strange choice for a date, staying overnight in Ballarat despite not wanting to, because the guy had already paid for two nights.
told by Jess Lucas
Tommy describes how his son Bodhi has formed a bond with café owner George, who supplies him with ooshies, and how George's sister now continues the supply on days George doesn't work, prompting Josh to suggest Bodhi give something back in return.
told by Tommy
Tommy recalls meeting his now-wife Amy seven years ago at Potato Head in Bali, and a mix-up the night before where he briefly thought he'd forgotten their wedding anniversary.
told by Tommy Jackett
Jess posted old black-and-white family photos for the first time in a year, including an awkward group shot with oddly interlocked hands, and reported a big engagement boost.
told by Jess Lucas
Jess Lucas describes matching with a guy on Hinge after previously avoiding dating apps, discusses his Italian Greyhound, their awkward texting, and an embarrassing mishap where she accidentally sent him her full address via a flower delivery photo.
told by Jess Lucas
Josh reads out a late-night text from Ben Fordham telling him to stop relying on Bree to make his coffee and 'take control,' which Josh responds to by deliberately not making coffee that morning out of spite.
told by Josh Janssen
In their words
“Even though the daily talk show is finishing, the thing that remains is the relationships, which is cool.”
“The whole book is about wiping your slate clean, pissing off your family narrative and what you learned from them, pissing off society's narrative, and then exploring your life to figure out what the fuck you actually want.”
“I would only do that if you called me Josh. Like, if you use my actual name.”
“Try just having the filter of, am I lying right now?”
“Well, because I think Uh, everyone has a version of struggle for themselves internally, mentally, and not everyone fucking communicates it, dude.”
“You've just got to put it out to the universe, you know.”
“Whatever people tell you, it's, it's add more.”
“It's fucked. We should have been on to that guy a very long time ago. Freak show.”
“I think I would say like eating a tub of Greek yogurt. That's what I'd say.”
“I'd, I'd much rather produce a video, um, that I made $5 from but got heaps of views, everyone loved it, versus getting paid $10,000 and doing something that no one watched and everyone hated it.”
“In episode 1500, uh, Mr. 97 and Grace will be engaged by episode 1500.”
“Yeah, DJ Precious is my alter ego.”
“It's, it's actually really nice to have something to say as soon as you come on the podcast, like just, just something that you can say every single day. It's great.”
“If you stay over— this is a PSA— if you stay over, message and say fucking thank you.”
“I think not mentioning it and then organising dinner. And, uh, yeah, I think it's just doing stuff without asking, I think, is that— is what they want.”
“doing nothing isn't romantic.”
“You get to a point as a parent where you just, you're on edge, you know, you're fucking really on the edge and the Ooshies are bringing joy. And so, this is where they get you. This is where they get you.”
“No, because I think I'm a wanker.”