The D'Avella Drive Through Wedding

Matt: The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show episode 512.

Tommy: Brought to you on a street corner in Venice, California with Matt and Nat.

Matt: Matt and Nat are here.

Tommy: How are we guys?

Nat: In the house.

Josh: What's going on, guys? Good.

Nat: We're sugared up.

Tommy: I'm so sugared up. I feel a bit ill because I went— we just got ice creams from a really hip place that you wait in line for a long time. The girl who's serving, she was not that friendly. Did you tip?

Matt: You know, she was, she was fiery though. Like, she was quick. I don't know, did you see her like simultaneously cleaning and scooping at the same time?

Tommy: She took our order and she said, um, because Nat, you said you can have as many flavors, you can taste test the ice cream here, and she said, what do you want? And you guys yelled out 3. I said 1.

Nat: Well, Matt asked for a double. He said, I'll get 2 samples of the Thanksgiving turkey.

Matt: I just wanted to be sure.

Tommy: She forgot my sample, which is why I am a bit dirty. But now I'm feeling sick. Anyway, it's all good.

Matt: A little bit salty.

Nat: It's all good.

Tommy: We just went to a vegan forward restaurant?

Nat: Vegan forward, yes.

Tommy: What is this vegan forwardness?

Nat: So look, there's vegan friendly. I like to say sometimes vegans need a little bit more than friendliness in their life. We know they have a hard time. Sure. So, you know, what this is, is it's in between a vegan friendly and a purely vegan restaurant. It's vegan forward. Now, in saying that, I would say it's maybe vegetarian friendly, but vegan forward. Okay.

Josh: If that makes sense.

Nat: We're getting technical.

Josh: Are you ready? You know what I want to say though?

Matt: I think Vegetarian forward means that they also have meat though, and that place, they didn't have any meat.

Nat: No, because it's vegan forward, vegetarian friendly. Meat eaters, be gone.

Josh: Does vegan forward mean that you get cheese or no cheese?

Tommy: Uh, well, there was mac and cheese there, so was it real cheese though? Oh, that's why I'm just suspect of everything. Yeah, I had a burger, it wasn't real meat, but it was an Impossible Burger, so I'm glad I get to try it.

Matt: Impossible to enjoy.

Tommy: Hang on, wait, you said something really funny. You said, um—

Nat: I just said I don't go impossible. I just go possible.

Matt: Yeah.

Nat: I'm not trying to be an overachiever.

Matt: I'm just trying to make sure it happens.

Josh: Have you ever cooked fake meat at home?

Nat: No, no, no.

Matt: No, I don't think so. We've made, no, we've actually made veggie patties, but not fake meat. Is there a difference?

Nat: I have a bit of a problem with fake meat that goes by the name of Satan.

Matt: Is it?

Josh: Is it a thing?

Nat: It's like Satan or something.

Josh: Is that, oh, this is '97.

Nat: I think vegans will probably worried about like, you know, the, the close— the closest in pronunciation to Satan's. They probably like tried to Europefy it. Satan.

Tommy: If you're watching this, we are in a car park and we're using our hire car's headlights to project the light.

Matt: And the main reason we're doing that is because we want to make sure we use the full gas of tank— tank of gas— before we go to the airport.

Tommy: From a filmmaker perspective, Matt, does this get your tick of approval or is this absolute garbage?

Nat: No, I mean, I wouldn't say garbage.

Matt: I would I would just say different from what I would do.

Tommy: Yeah, that's it.

Matt: I'm a perfectionist, and I think that's a problem that I have. And I think what I admire about you guys is that you don't care how any of your stuff looks. No, I joke.

Tommy: That was insulting.

Josh: So you guys have— you're officially married now, is that right?

Tommy: Yeah, where's your ring, Matt?

Matt: Oh, I don't know, because we got married in a drive-through wedding in Vegas. And we were— we told ourselves that we were not going to tell anybody about it because it was just for the paperwork.

Tommy: There was a vlog camera.

Nat: You can't say that yet.

Matt: There was a vlog camera. It's out there now. I mean, you got the visa. No, no, but we also love each other. Like, we were doing it because we love each other, but we wanted to get ahead of the game and get the paperwork. So did I, just to get a work visa.

Nat: Yeah.

Matt: And so then we did that. But then, like, the whole idea was like we weren't going to really tell anybody about it until we actually had our official wedding with all of our family there. And then like the first day Nat goes into work and just tells every coworker because she just can't hold on to a good story.

Nat: I actually basically had a countdown happening in my office to days, getting days counting down to getting married in Vegas. And I just didn't tell you that I had this happening. I skipped out of the office on Friday and I was like, "Da na na na na." Can you run us through the drive-through marriage?

Tommy: Like what is it exactly that you're getting married to? It's very similar.

Nat: Very similar. So basically, if you have been through McDonald's drive-through, That's it. That's it. You know, even the kooky character who sticks his head out the window, I feel like he must have worked in a McDonald's.

Josh: Were you actually in a car? Do you drive for work?

Matt: Here's the funniest thing and a part of the storey that I've never told before because it kind of takes away some of the romanticism, I would say, is that— What's not romantic about driving through weddings?

Nat: He's about to drop an African proverb.

Matt: You have to park the car get out of the car, go inside, organise the whole deal, give them the paperwork, get outside, go back to the car, drive-through.

Josh: So the drive-through is really just a gimmick.

Nat: It's a gimmick.

Matt: It's a gimmick. Full gimmick.

Tommy: But then, so you guys are getting married in a secret location I won't say, overseas though.

Nat: Italy.

Tommy: I didn't ask where.

Matt: What's the zip code of it?

Tommy: They don't count, so like if you get married in Bali, which a lot of Australians do, you don't actually get married in Bali. You just have a party, so you're having a party.

Nat: —party.

Matt: Yeah, because we're already married. Yeah, and most people do that.

Nat: They go and get married beforehand so you don't have to deal with the shitty paperwork in Italy. So yeah.

Josh: Did you get to pick like an Elvis impersonator or anything like that?

Nat: Yeah, but we were trying to go real budget with it, if you hadn't grasped the concept.

Matt: Elvis was an extra $100.

Nat: No, actually, the reason we went out to Vegas too was because I didn't want to take a day off work because the LA courthouse is only open Monday to Friday, and I was like, this is not worth me taking a day off work. We'll go on the weekend to Vegas.

Josh: Yeah, it took you one.

Tommy: Called for helicopter. Visa police.

Nat: Yeah. I told you.

Josh: And so, 3 hours drive, or how long did it take to get to Vegas?

Matt: About like 4 and a half, 5 hours drive out to Vegas. Did you get dressed up? We got right there, actually. No, we didn't get dressed up. Dude, here's the funniest thing. What do you mean?

Tommy: This is the first time Matt's ever worn something other than the t-shirt. Yeah, he's repping a Daily Talk Show shirt. Hooty! Mew mew mew!

Matt: Snippet of that. Mr. 97 for Instagram.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: Tag, hashtag minimalism, hashtag every other thing he says.

Matt: Sweater. No, but it was, I mean, it was a pretty long day because it took a while. They wouldn't let her take my last name because I had no identification with the apostrophe in my name. Really? Yeah, only my birth certificate has the apostrophe.

Nat: So I could change my name to Natalie D'Avella, but I couldn't be legally D'Avella.

Matt: I have footage of this and I was saying, just take D'Avella. I was like, forget about the apostrophe, you can add it later. And then she's like, I'm not gonna change my last name to nobody else's last name that I know.

Nat: I was like, this isn't your name.

Josh: And so are you going to do it? Like, do you have to wait now or what's happening?

Matt: No, I think Nash is just going to keep pitting.

Nat: Yeah, I mean, it just feels easier to just stick to pitting, doesn't it?

Tommy: Did you tip? Like, do you tip?

Nat: Oh, we did. We did tip.

Matt: The guy was pretty good. He was pretty— okay, here's like the, I mean, the most disappointing part for me. Do they say like for here or to go?

Josh: Or is it all for here?

Matt: So we pull up to the drive-through and then they ask us, like, he's like, do you guys want to recite 'your own vows.' And we look at each other, we're like, 'That would be funny.' Yeah, right, we'll riff, do a little bit of improv, like make some jokes. And then like he's going through this whole thing and he's giving his spiel, and we're like, 'This guy is like an idiot. Like, this is like not—

Nat: this guy doesn't have it together.' And then we weren't even like holding hands, like almost like mad. If you looked at us, we might have looked mad.

Matt: Yeah, he's like, 'You guys can like look at each other.

Tommy: This is the wrong thing to say for the visa stuff.' Yeah, yeah.

Josh: And so what's it— so are you actually in just your car?

Matt: We're just in the car, and I've actually got this filmed. Uh, I'll have to release it, uh, publicly at some point. But then, um, we're just there, and then he's, he's kind of going through the whole thing, and he's like referring to us as husband and wife, and it gets to the point of the vows. And then Natalie decided to go first, right? Because I was a little bit shy, and I was like, you go first. She's like, fine.

Josh: Yeah, who was driving? Uh, I was driving.

Matt: Okay, you weren't driving? You were? Oh, yeah, yeah. And then she does the vow. She starts doing her vows. She starts fucking crying. Well, I'm sorry.

Nat: I love you.

Matt: And I'm like— Such a great actor. I honestly can't tell you how mad I was at that moment because I had literally— I was like, none of this was emotional to me. This was paperwork. Wow. I'm not going to say anything else.

Josh: This guy is so romantic.

Matt: I don't know how to describe this. I had a drive-through wedding in Vegas that Britney Spears got married at. Oh, really? Which one? Yeah, yeah. I think the K-Fed, the big one.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, what sort of other characters were getting their weddings done?

Matt: Uh, um, what you would imagine, people looking for a budget wedding.

Tommy: So in America, is that— so like growing up in America, is— because we hear about the weddings, the Vegas stuff, is it seen as like, yeah, it's a bit bogan? Like, is it a bit like a— oh yeah, token funny?

Nat: Yeah, yeah, we were kind of trying to embrace that because we knew we wanted to do a proper party and reception with family, friends, and like we were trying to save the sentimental value of a wedding. And actually we were even like, oh, we should— we— let's not even do vows. Like, let's just get through this and get to the pool. Like, in and out, done. Literally, like, in and out. Literally.

Matt: That was actually the second start.

Tommy: We're still waiting on our fries. Did you get animal style?

Matt: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, he did not.

Tommy: We all married vegan.

Nat: He got vegan style.

Matt: Oh my God. It's a handjob.

Josh: So did you tell your family that you were doing it?

Matt: Well, I think the most embarrassing part for me is that she has this crazy romantic— honestly, it's beautiful. She couldn't have written it any better, these vows, saying, I can't believe I met you, just all these amazing things about me. And then it's like, OK, now it's your turn, Matt. And I have been cutting off emotion this whole time. And I'm not good on the spot. And I'm not good at improv. I need to plan this out. I need to know what I'm going to say. He's like a scripted guy.

Josh: YouTube video. So then my strategy, right?

Matt: Yeah, it's like he needs to get into character to pretend he knows me. My strategy going into it was, all right, I'm just gonna use dramatic pauses to make it look like I'm being emotional. So then I like literally start reciting her own speech back to her, and I'm like, Natalie, from the moment I met you. And then like, I'm all in my head, I'm like, what the fuck are you gonna say next?

Nat: And like, I'm looking deep into his heart, into his soul, and I'm like, oh my gosh, he's crying. I'm like, he's gonna cry. Like, I see him like looking off into the distance, like he can't even look at me, and I'm like, oh my Oh my gosh, he's emotional.

Matt: So it was 3 minutes of me being like a robot and like saying words every couple of seconds. And then at the end of it, like, the guy's like, that's— you're done, you're done. Okay. And he's like, okay, you know, some of us have a hard time getting our emotions out.

Josh: So it turned into sort of like a psychology sort of like couples therapy.

Tommy: What makes you cry, Matt? Well, when was the last time you cried?

Matt: Oh yeah, breathwork. I just did breathwork.

Tommy: Oh yeah, a couple days ago.

Josh: So what's the deal with breathwork? Yeah, can I— can we trial it right now? Matt did it before me, uh, and we actually I just went on a breathwork retreat.

Matt: I mean, the whole— there's a kind of— I guess there's lots of different types of breathwork. My sister's a breathwork teacher, and hers is more in like the spiritual healing. And the reason why I wanted to do it is because— not because I'm traumatized, but because like I wanted to push myself outside of my comfort zone and do something that I was totally uncomfortable and against typically. And, uh, I did it, and it was like, yeah, it was like an oddly emotional— it like changes your state in a way that you wouldn't expect. And it was like a high. It was being like high. Yeah, it was like any drug I've done.

Nat: But it's work. It's not like meditation. It's like physically uncomfortable. But we can do it now. Yeah, okay, great.

Matt: What do we do? That's a great idea.

Tommy: We're on a little ledge. Okay.

Nat: Usually we'd have to lie down.

Matt: Okay, yeah, I think in terms of safety, obviously we're not gonna do a full session. Normally it's like, I guess, anywhere from 10 to 40 minutes. Yeah. And in terms of safety, you should always be lying down on the ground. Okay. Because you get lightheaded and you would certainly— you could certainly pass out.

Tommy: But where are all these—

Nat: Well, maybe like, I think we need a clear diaphragm to get a big breath in. And so I just feel pizza. Prefacing with the fact that we are in a car park and completely inexperienced in breathwork. So please don't—

Matt: This is my first time teaching a breathwork class and this is the perfect time to do it when there's going to be a fight right around the corner.

Nat: In a car park. So you want to obviously with your eyes closed, you want to take one breath into your stomach and you can put your hand over your stomach to kind of feel it.

Josh: Through your nose or through your mouth? Mouth.

Nat: Mouth and breathe very naturally. So your mouth shouldn't be pouting or stretching. So like, and then into your heart and then out, out through your mouth. Yeah, it's all through your mouth and your mouth shouldn't be like, you know, contorted or anything. Should just be very relaxed.

Matt: Just let it out.

Josh: Like, the nose is the nose for anything? Nose for nothing.

Tommy: Forget your nose. Never.

Josh: Like, within breathwork, you never use your nose.

Matt: You have no nose. Oh, that's good.

Josh: I actually like that because you hear like, okay, breathe in through your nose out through your mouth. That shit fucks with me because I end up being like, oh no, I'm doing— Yeah, and you're sniffling and yeah.

Matt: Okay, cool.

Nat: So it's like 2 breaths in, 1 breath out.

Tommy: So it's like— That's quick, I think.

Nat: I can't follow you.

Tommy: How long do you go for?

Matt: 40 minutes.

Tommy: No way. I feel a bit lightheaded. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Matt: You go up to about 30 minutes It is absolutely exhausting. And I feel tingly already, right?

Josh: I feel like I feel more than one of the edibles. Yeah, right.

Matt: It's had more of an effect. Yeah. Yeah. You got pretty high during that, I heard.

Josh: Well, no. So people want to know. Yeah. For people who don't know, we decided that we'll try edibles. So in California, how long has it been legal for?

Nat: Beginning of last year, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Josh: So because the thing is, I'm not someone— I've never smoked in my life. I've never done drugs in my life, and so this— it felt like it was safe enough based on sort of the whole MedMen thing, and it's all nice and easy. Do you find that the barrier to entry means that more people are potheads that you wouldn't normally assume?

Nat: It's hard because like, I feel like the pothead stereotype has kind of like disintegrated a little bit just because it's so normalized. Yeah. So the I mean, you're right, there's more people, uh, like experiencing pot, like especially when they're like in cute little gummy bears, like, like what?

Tommy: Um, like, you know, like, it's like Haribo. You mean pretzels too? Yeah, pretzel ones. Oh really?

Nat: Yeah, yeah. But like, I don't think that there's a— yeah, there's an association with like, oh, you don't have your life together, blah blah blah.

Matt: So when do you— I tell you though, like January when it just became legal recreationally in the—

Tommy: in California, Only this year? 2019? So it was 2018 January, that's when it—

Matt: Yes, it was a year ago. Like almost 2 years ago.

Tommy: Any Gronkh can have it.

Matt: Yeah, any Gronkh down the street. Yeah. And then we— so we flew home after vacation in New Jersey, and then we get to California and I'm driving past MedMen, which is a shop that you guys went to, a very popular weed shop. It's like the Apple Store of pot.

Tommy: We'll do our live read for MedMen in a moment.

Matt: And you drive past— I drove past it line wrapped around the block like crazy. And I think that that was like kind of people's initial— like, it's legal now, so everybody's really into it and wants to go and try it and get weed and like have the experience of it. But I think that for most people that don't smoke weed, they're not gonna go out of their way to get it. It's probably still for most people just gonna be an every once in a while thing. I don't think it's probably turned too many people over to like—

Josh: so when do you do it? Do you find that it's like, okay, so I've started drinking and it's like a red wine on a Friday night. Is doing edibles, is it like a Sunday thing?

Nat: I feel like it's similar to what you're explaining, but correct me if you disagree. I feel like it's a wellness moment, like it's your green juice, but not in the morning. But in the morning you might have it like anywhere else, maybe on the weekend.

Josh: Is this just the CBD or is this the, like, have you done the THC, which is like the the bit that makes you all funny.

Matt: It's your DMT, I think, actually. No, we— The ABC. We— I mean, I don't smoke a whole lot. I think it's like whether you like doing it or not. And the difficult thing about marijuana is that you build up a tolerance to it. So I have like smoked frequently in the past. And like when you're smoking every day or maybe like 3 to 5 times a week, you build up a tolerance. But also like it's more enjoyable because you're used to it. But then like if you don't smoke much at all, and I— if I smoke like once every other month, you just get stoned. Yeah, you can't handle it, and it's not a great experience. Not good. I don't love it.

Tommy: I don't know. I don't smoke much anymore. Do it consistently, consistently. It has a different feeling. Yeah, do it every now and then. You get too baked. I prefer alcohol. I prefer— yeah, well, it's less intense. So last night, more casual, we had some gummies, and these things look like little squares. And we only took half, which was 5mg.

Josh: Because you were the experienced one, you felt that you needed to sort of be across the whole situation. I was looking after my babies.

Tommy: Yeah, I had my boys.

Matt: You need one responsible person in the room.

Josh: But that one shouldn't also be high, right?

Tommy: They say actually, I was doing some reading, it was like the experienced one, like there should always be someone who's done it before so they get what the feeling is.

Matt: You need to know how to stop it.

Nat: You like prepared for this evening?

Tommy: I read for my boys. What's you expecting me to be high? No, but so what you're explaining is like you don't— like there's something about the first time you do it and you're entering into this unusual world that you've never experienced these kind of feelings before, right? And so that can scare you. Like people can get fucking scared shitless for it.

Josh: I wasn't scared though, was I? No, I know.

Matt: When your kid turns like 16 or 18, would you let them smoke weed? Or would you do it with them?

Tommy: I don't know yet. See, I smoked weed with my mate's dad at like 12 or 13.

Matt: Like, I would never do that. That seems like a line.

Tommy: At 18, if it's legal, maybe, maybe.

Matt: There is something with the development of the brain though too, where you should be at a certain age before you do it.

Tommy: Oh, definitely. I mean, with grown men doing edibles for the first time, for me in America.

Matt: I've definitely passed my peak. I'm not getting any smarter, so weed is definitely not going to hurt me.

Josh: Is there something about, 'cause I've, I lent into it. So we were seeing people today and I was like telling them about the experience and I was wondering, is it one of those things where some people could look down at it? Like, do you feel that, is it something people hide or could you talk to your employer if you're working somewhere and could just talk about it freely?

Nat: So what's interesting is when I have felt like looked down on, it's by other Australians who don't understand it. Who haven't experienced the culture here that's adapted very quickly to embracing and normalizing. I can imagine.

Tommy: I reckon we'll look back on this and us doing it. We filmed us doing it last night. It was a weird time. This is still a weird thing. This is why we're so fascinated with it because in Australia, the stoner mentality, like what you're saying.

Nat: They were actually actively trying to negate that when the laws switched and you actually saw Mad Men, that store we're talking about out before actually putting up billboards where they cancelled out the word stoner, and they're like, it was like a really like, loner. We got you covered.

Josh: Do they give you bonus?

Matt: No, no, no, no, no, no.

Tommy: Maybe they're just trying to put a new twist to it, you know?

Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it just became loner. And they, they replaced it with like athlete or doctor, as in like they're trying to say they're like, people just smoke weed and this doesn't define you.

Tommy: I think the police are here. That's so exciting. They, uh, oh my God, they're coming to arrest you for the video.

Josh: Oh my God. And so, um, when it comes to actually buying marijuana, what do you guys— and also like from a joint, like a couple experience, do you remember the first time you, uh, did gummies or something?

Matt: We're not like, we're not like stoners. We don't smoke a lot of weed. So like how many times have we gone like maybe 4 or 5.

Nat: 4 or 5. I'm also really inexperienced. Like, I would say like weed culture isn't very big in Australia. But there's like this—

Tommy: what does mom say back home?

Matt: Oh, she probably doesn't know. Hopefully she doesn't watch this. Your mom watches anything that I'm in.

Nat: Didn't the ACT just make this legal? Yeah. Interesting. It'll be interesting to see how that turns.

Matt: Yeah, in, in like the Mad Men store, like there— I remember you get— you got very excited about the one wall because it's all like different creative— like, not the iPad stuff, but it's like different creative like drops and gummies. There's like 100 different—

Nat: it felt like I was in like an apothecary. Like, it was like, oh, this is so— like, all this stuff is marketed in the way that—

Matt: yeah, and it's like stress relief.

Tommy: Yeah, they've done a good branding job. Yeah, like, they've really done it.

Josh: The guy who was looking after us, he was like, now you need to set your own scene. Set your scene. Set your scene, like you're in control and all that sort of thing. And so like in the video of us, I was looking at it last night, I was like, I think I've set the wrong scene. 'Cause I was just like a bit like fucking not feeling it. I need to reset.

Tommy: So yeah, the way it played out last night for people following along, 'cause we put up some Instagram storeys and people are very curious to know what happened. And within 30 minutes I was laughing my ass off. Josh, on the other hand, stiffened up like a wooden board.

Josh: No, I was just arms crossed because I was like, okay, they're high, why aren't I high? But there was a funny moment where I sort of, where Mr. 97 was like, no, you are high, you are high. And then I was like, ah, I got really excited. I don't think I am. I am different.

Tommy: And then I, and so then I started getting like a bit paranoid that you were so transfixed on not being where we were that that was your high. I was like, you're so in that. So I was just transfixed on laughing, and then I got transfixed on you being so down about not being where we were.

Matt: Does he like pull you out of your own high? I do. Because then you're like, you know, it's all my fault.

Tommy: No, no, no. I think it's, I don't think Josh is the right one for me to get high with. To be honest, because I reckon I pulled him out and he pulled me out. And so I'm just like worried that Josh is like, he's actually losing.

Josh: Yeah, it ended in a fight where Tommy hid the gummies and I got very upset about it. I went to bed and then I got into FaceTime. I told Bree that I'm just, I'm actually fucking angry. And then Mr. 97 97 was going into bed too, and then I was just like, man, this just doesn't feel fair. And I felt like a bit sooky, and so I was like, oh no, you definitely should have— 97, like, you need to tell, like, tell me that this isn't fair.

Tommy: And so I'm in bed, and then I hear this on the floorboards walking, and then Mr. 97 opens the door. What did he say? He's like, man, Josh is really upset. He said he wants more. And I said, hang on, just before I said, dude, don't you see that the fact he's so upset about not being where we are, you were creating a story, the reason why he's actually really high. And then Mr.

Josh: 97 was like, oh dude, it's like I was so convinced of it and then I convinced him of that and he's like, oh dude, that is mind-blowing because why, if you were sober you just say, hey dude, I'm not high.

Tommy: Yeah, I'm trying to go to bed.

Josh: That's what I felt like I was doing. But the other thing I was, the other thing that I was trying was I was like, Tommy was sort of, it felt like Tommy was like, nah man, you've resisted You're resisting. So then I was like being silly on purpose to try and put me in that state. So the guys were like, yeah, if you weren't high, why did you put a box, like a LaCroix box on your head? I was like, I was trying to make you guys laugh.

Tommy: You were trying to do selfies with Mason and kiss him. Yeah. And I was like, dude, there's a line. And Josh usually comes to here and then there's all these little things. And that's why it's like, it's not always the same for everybody, the feeling.

Matt: I can't believe you guys are 30 years old.

Josh: You just saw me drunk the other day.

Nat: 13.

Josh: I mean, that's the exciting thing. What's one thing that you guys have never done in your life that you'd like to do?

Matt: Oh, oh, oh, oh, um, no, not— I wouldn't eat that. But like, yeah, I've done mushrooms once. I think I would like to do it again. What about—

Tommy: so I think you're in the game of trying.

Matt: I thought we're talking about drugs.

Tommy: Junkie. No, so you're in the business of trying things. You've got your 30-day challenge videos. Yeah. Is there, is there something there like the ayahuasca thing? Which, while we're still on the drug scene, I don't think Josh was pushing for more drug talk. No, I don't know.

Matt: Ayahuasca, it seems a bit like trendy. Yeah, but it's also like, apparently you throw up a lot and it seems like a really uncomfortable experience. Your ayahuasca is just having dairy.

Josh: Similar experience.

Matt: Euphoria leading to shitting yourself. Yeah, they should have a Lactaid for that drug. What is that drug? Ayahuasca. Yeah, I don't know, man. Like, I like the idea of trying new things in like a safe environment in a safe way, especially when it comes to something like drugs.

Tommy: For content though? Is that the filter?

Matt: I'll only do it if it's for— for content. Absolutely. Yeah. No, that's not true. But if it's a 30-day challenge, yes. Patreon exclusive. Patreon exclusive.

Josh: So when Tommy proposed to his now wife Amy, he did a video and he even ADR'd, so which is basically like he voiceovered the bit where he proposed because the audio wasn't very clear.

Tommy: What does ADR stand for, Mr.

Josh: Filmmaker? Do you know what ADR is?

Tommy: If the 3 of us—

Josh: I don't know. I don't know. Something dialogue replacement. Audio dialogue replacement.

Tommy: Hey!

Matt: People are gonna look at my lame like, "Fuckin' idiots, that's not it." Tommy got ADR'd.

Josh: Amy to do a, like, record into his phone of her going, yeah, yes, which is brilliant.

Tommy: I wouldn't have done it. Josh, Josh, I'm glad I listened to it.

Matt: But then when you watch it, do you just feel like dirty? You're like, I'm a phony. How do you look back on that and be like, yeah, that was the moment?

Tommy: I've got a conscience. Did she manufacture tears? No, it was that she— I think the reason— so Tommy had an emotional level in any direction, happy or sad. She wasn't happy to do it, and so I got— it was the first one, and it was on the iPhone because I was like, I need this to be a bit shit. And then I said, just say it, come on, once. And I said, will you marry me? She said, yes. And it was the first take. My wife's amazing.

Matt: Honestly, you need to send me that after this because I need to see that.

Tommy: It needs more views.

Josh: When are you thinking too much about content, Matt? Doesn't that ever catch you out?

Matt: That's funny because even the wedding thing was, uh, something that I asked Nat where— and that's not really— it wasn't at all for public content. I didn't care about it. But like, what I did was shoot the video.

Tommy: Patreon.

Matt: Yeah, yeah. What I did was shoot the video of the proposal to have that. And then after I did it, I was like, um, like, can we, can we like fake that again? But then I'll like do it for a photo because I want a high-quality raw photo of it. And then she's like, um, I don't know, that seems weird. Yeah, that was a bad idea, that was a stupid idea, so we didn't do it. In terms of like the general content that we make, I don't know.

Nat: I don't know, you're thinking about your work and your filming, I would say, 90% of the time.

Matt: In terms of our life? Yes. Yeah, it's like a full-time job.

Tommy: What's the other 10%? What's he doing in that other 10%? When is the other 10% weird? Happy endings. At the end of the episode. If you haven't watched episode 501. 5:09. 5:09. But when is the 10% that Matt isn't thinking about film or filmmaking or his content?

Matt: No, I don't think I think about it that much. We do talk about it quite a bit though.

Nat: Yeah.

Josh: What's your love languages, do you think?

Nat: Oh, content.

Matt: I was gonna say hand jobs. Wait, what's my— my love language is time, right?

Nat: Quality time. Quality time and acts of service. I think I'm physical affection and maybe gifts. Oh no, no. What is it like?

Matt: Compliments? Isn't compliments one? Gifts or animated gifts?

Nat: What is it? Uh, jewelry.

Josh: Diamonds. Yeah. So what's the deal? So with rings, so we were talking to someone the other day about this. When it comes to engagement rings, I've done all the— Bri and I have been together for 12 years. Haven't proposed yet. But I, in the early days, was always wigging out by this idea of buying the ring and the expectation around buying the ring.

Matt: Did you feel the pressure, Matt? Yeah, I was stressed out about it. I wouldn't also, like, if Nat didn't want a ring or she was okay with like getting like a fake ring, I think I would have done that. But she wanted a ring and then— Can you blame her? Can you blame her? No. So I, yeah, no, it's like, I mean, I don't know.

Nat: He sounds really batted down by the whole situation.

Josh: How did you go about it? What's the deal? How do you negotiate a ring?

Matt: She gave me a Pinterest board of all the kind of rings that she wanted and she was interested in. And then I kind of, actually what happened was I browsed through a bunch of them and then I found one that I thought like, I know nothing about diamonds, I know nothing about jewelry. And then I got the diamond and then they sent it from New York here. And then I look at it and I'm like, yeah, that's like really pretty, but I'm I'm like, but it looks like it's like cracked. Oh no, it was like one of— but it wasn't like— that's how it was on the website. I just didn't realise it.

Nat: It was like an opalized diamond, so it was kind of cloudy and like that had that opaly effect.

Matt: Cloudy?

Nat: You liked that? No, that didn't really turn up in the photo that I pinned.

Matt: So yeah, yeah, so then I, I was like— so I got it and then I held on to it for like 3 months. Oh no. Yeah, it was well past the time I could return it, and then I'm like looking at it and then I'm like, probably 3 weeks away from proposing, and I'm like, I just had this like deep sinking feeling in my gut where I'm like, she's gonna hate this ring. I think this ring is terrible. Like, I need to, I need to return it or something. So then I'm like freaking out, and I go back to the website that I bought it on, and I'm just like browsing and looking for other rings. And then it was like wish.com. No, it actually is, uh, the other sponsor for this channel, everett.com. Uh, but no, they're Venice-based now, actually.

Nat: They are.

Matt: But they're like, the shoe's amazing, and it's like ethically sourced diamonds And, and so did you really exchange it and get a new one? So what happened was like, I emailed her frantically and like, I was like, oh my God, like, I think that my fiancée is going to hate this ring. And I didn't say it like that because like, it's— they still made the ring. But I'm like, I think I made a mistake. I want to actually exchange this ring for another one. And the other one happened to be a little bit more expensive. So I think she was totally okay with it. Okay. But then I had to ship it back. When I shipped it back, I asked to get insurance at the UPS store— or not the UPS store, the postal store, and they said that they don't insure jewelry. Oh no. And I shipped it anyway, and the guy knew the exact value of it because I told him what it was. I was trying to ship it, and then I was like, oh my God. And it happened to make its way there, but I was like, there's nothing I could do. Did you actually—

Josh: because I— you see on the websites, they say needs to be 2 months of your salary or some bullshit like that. Did you enter into any of that?

Matt: No, it wasn't. Your freelance salary? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are we talking here? At the time, I don't think I was making any money at all.

Nat: Yeah, you were just losing money.

Matt: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So it was like negative. But no, I think that's total BS. 100%. Like, who the fuck made that up? The Diamond Company? Yeah, I don't know.

Josh: I think I saw it on Yahoo Answers.

Matt: Yeah, that's only the best. No, but I mean— I didn't really care about it that much. For me personally too, like, I was okay with spending a little bit more than I would typically because it's literally the only piece of jewellery I've ever bought Natalie and will be the only piece of jewellery I ever buy.

Tommy: Yeah, Matt told a storey on this podcast the other day that when he first started doing his thing, his YouTube thing, committing to the year or year and a half that you were very supportive, later to find out you didn't really know what he was up to.

Josh: And you were maybe panicking. Yeah.

Tommy: And so fast forward, 2 million plus subscribers. What have you got to say? And a nice big ring.

Nat: Yeah. Yeah, well, what was funny was I—

Josh: You're in debt, you're in debt, right? Yeah, you're a tough dog.

Nat: The funny thing about that was you didn't even put a question in there. You were just like, I just want to let you know you're wrong.

Tommy: No, no, but what is that? I mean, it's easy to look back and say, yeah, you did it now. But what's that been like for you, that journey?

Nat: Yeah, that's really interesting because, okay, when he first was like, oh, I'm gonna quit client work. I mean, I didn't really, to be honest, know exactly what Matt did. I was like, oh, he films, films.

Tommy: You know you're married to a filmmaker when your wife says he's gonna quit client work. Yeah, I know what that means.

Nat: I know what that means.

Josh: You had clients or something?

Nat: Yeah. But I just came back from work one day and he had these foam panels up, like, all over our apartment. And I'm like, what the fuck's going on here? And I'm like, oh, okay, like, hey, what's happening? And he was like, oh, I'm gonna start a podcast. And like, internally, I was like, what the fuck? Like, his only— his primary skill is filming. He's gonna ditch that and go for an audio-only format, which he's never done before. But I couldn't say that, and so I was obviously like, oh yeah, that's great, like, you should totally experiment with that, like, fill it out. Like blah blah whatever. Went to work literally every day for the next 6 months just paying out Matt hard to my workmates. And I was like, literally it was like almost like a stand-up bit. Like I was like, and then he put foam bits on the wall.

Tommy: It really was a visa job.

Nat: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it wasn't until I would even say like 6 months ago where Matt was like, cuz currently I'm relying on Matt a lot right now, um, to encourage me on my next steps. And Matt was like, oh, you were a huge You were such a big help for me in like getting off the ground. And I was like, what do you mean? And he's like, well, you encouraged me so much. And I was like, mm, confession. I was faking it.

Matt: Well, here's the thing. What I would say, and we actually did talk about this, kind of a joke, kind of not. And I think that's kind of like partly our relationship, that everything is layered in like a fine layer of— Self-deprecation. Joking and self-deprecation and making fun of each other and paying each other out.

Tommy: It's why you're married to an Aussie. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Matt: But then like when it comes down to it, 100% she genuinely supported me, and 100% she like pushed me and encouraged me to do it. She didn't understand what it meant or if it would work out, but she knew that if I didn't do it, because I've been talking about it so much, that I would have regretted it for the rest of my life.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, it's a true saying, fake it until your partner makes it.

Josh: With the podcasting thing, did you learn that that audio only wasn't actually the thing?

Matt: I only did audio only for the first— well, I did like 3 or 4 podcast recordings that I never released because I intended to like— I was gonna do like a Freakonomics type edit where I do an interview and then I turn it into a story, and then I just realised that was like way too much work for then what I wanted to do. So I did like 3 or 4 of those and then I just scrapped them. And then I probably did— and then like that, that's when I started to just do— I actually, from episode 1, I did do video, but it was like every couple I would skip and just do audio. But the main intention from the beginning was to do audio. But then I was thinking like, how can I bring in my own unique perspective? And what do I have? What skill set do I have that maybe other podcasters don't? And it's like, well, I'm a filmmaker, so I brought it into everything I do. Now, why—

Tommy: why— sorry, just one— why do you think it's worked for Matt?

Nat: Ah, that's a good question. I think Matt is equal parts creative as he is to business. So like, he's obviously very creative, but he knows how to structure his work, how to strategize his work. And like, I feel like your business sense has, I think, really impressed me coming from a business world and like working in corporate. Like, it's quite surprising that you haven't come from that world because I feel like you understand it much better than I do.

Matt: I did run my business for 8 years. I was a freelancer, but yeah, I had a company.

Tommy: But I think I could imagine someone as creative as you, they might not have the other bit. There's a lot of creatives, loose units when it comes to their business or accounts.

Nat: And I also think, I forgot to say this, I also think it's because Matt's made a business out of his passion and his hobby. And I think a lot of people say that, and I, you know, It's hard, but like Matt can't sleep unless he's been able to like film every idea. Like he gets really, really excited when we go traveling. Like all he does is just miss work. Like when I go traveling, I'm like, oh my God, I'm counting back, I'm counting down the days that I have to go back to work. Whilst he's like, oh, I can't wait to get back.

Matt: Yeah, there's that Seth Godin quote where he's like, I guess the point that you're trying to go after is that that you want to have a job that you don't feel like you have to escape from. Oh, definitely. And I definitely think I need to get better at enjoying the breaks and enjoying the time off. But I mean, I think probably you guys as well, it's like when you really love what you do and you're driven, you don't want to spend too much time away from it.

Josh: Mm-hmm. Nat, you're in exciting time, leaving employment to do your own thing. How are you feeling with all that stuff? Confronting question. Yeah.

Nat: Um, how am I feeling? Uh, pretty terrified, to be honest. The last few months I've taken sabbatical just to like help process and take the time to slowly get myself started in pursuing freelance work. And it's been, uh, kind of shitty. Like, surprisingly, I was like, I had this idea in my head where I was like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna be drinking margaritas every day. And like, um, But what do we want to describe that as?

Josh: That's someone moving. It's a squirrel.

Tommy: They're loud over here. They're really loud.

Josh: So yeah, so it was the expectation versus reality. What was the biggest shocker, do you think?

Nat: I think the biggest shocker to me was how much I'd been ignoring my own personal self-needs and I'd been using a career to kind plug a hole and distract me from actually spending any time like assessing and checking in with myself mentally, emotionally, like seeing like how I'm feeling. I don't think I've properly done any of that work or given myself that kind of attention ever. So without a career or like work day to day to like plug that hole, it became very confronting very quickly. But I've become like, I mean, I'm not just saying this, I've become really grateful for this period because, you know, at first I hated it and I was like, this fucking sucks. I'm so bored. I feel completely lacking in value. I feel useless, especially when like Matt's been like so busy. It's almost like heightened that. But yeah, I'm super grateful for this period to like just focus on myself and like feel out what I want and what I need.

Tommy: I think it's really important. What Americanism have you employed, Nat, in terms of like coming, you know, coming from Australia 5 years ago and seeing how they operate here and seeing how you're entering into that freelance world now? What is one thing you think you need to bring that might not have been encouraged back home?

Nat: I mean, I don't know, because like, I, to be honest, I really like almost fetishize, like, and I really miss Australian working culture. So I think personally—

Tommy: What is it? How do you explain that?

Nat: It's just like— Lazy? No, it's like balance.

Josh: You actually have time for a fetish.

Nat: It was a weird word to use, wasn't it?

Tommy: I was transfixed on that word.

Matt: Yeah, I was stuck on it as well.

Josh: And so, yeah, so you, I mean, we, when you arrived in New York and I mean, that's the opposite of that. Yeah. Were you, when you were entering that space, were you looking at the Australian work culture as being a bit soft or did you always have respect for the way Aussies sort of did things?

Nat: It's weird though, because like, it's weird because Aussies are really like, work hard, play hard, get in, get the job done, get out, and like, get on with your life. Whilst I feel like, and I'm obviously generalising here, I feel like there's a real value and pressure to be at work, like, for an insane amount of hours. And it's the presence at work which matters more than the actual work that you put in. And so, you know, often sometimes I'd look around and people were on YouTube until 2 PM in the afternoon, and then they'd start work, and then they'd gloat about how they stayed till at work till 10:30 PM. Um, which like, it's just not, you know. Um, and then it's just like there's a very independent style of like an independent worldview here. So it's like instead of, you know, and I don't know if Americans would agree with this, but you know, because everyone always touts the importance of team and blah blah blah, but Aussies, there's a lot of camaraderie, and it's natural. But with Americans, it's very independent-focused. So I found it really hard to invest in a team and not feel like I was necessarily getting that kind of energy back.

Matt: A lot of like, stay in your own lane.

Nat: Yeah, stay in your own lane and just not a lot of like, not even like crossing lanes to help each other either. It was just kind of like, oh, I can see you're sinking, that sucks, on with me. Yeah, was it the ladder climbing?

Tommy: Climbing mentality? Like, I'm on my ladder, so I'm not helping you, bro.

Nat: Yes, super, super competitive. Yeah, yeah, it's like very dog eat dog. Of course, this is— this may be even more so in the industry I was working in, like in advertising probably. But, um, at least when I worked in advertising in Sydney versus working in New York and LA, I see that as like real stark differences across companies that I've worked in.

Josh: Uh, Diavela, with your, uh, having an employee— is this the first employee, Oscar?

Matt: Yeah, and this is, uh, if our first Just got finished up.

Josh: What are you trying to bring from a cultural point of view to having a team?

Matt: Culturally, I mean, it's interesting because when you're talking about two people, it's more of like a relationship than a culture. Like, it's not like a full team, but I think it's something that I'm like learning. And I think I was very nervous in the beginning because I think I put a lot of pressure on myself and I wanted to make sure that I was showing up in the right way, and I wasn't like letting my own internal stress or overwhelm about certain projects kind of reflect that dynamic and put it on them. And also making sure that I'm there to teach and help them grow and give them an experience that— like, it's like a big deal for somebody to leave their job and to come work for me full-time, and I don't take that lightly. So I want to make sure that they're happy and that they're getting what they expected out of that position. So I mean, culture is something to be defined, I think, as we get moving and maybe as like I bring on more people onto the team. But yeah, just trying to do my best.

Josh: Aren't we all? Well, we better go so that we don't run out of petrol.

Tommy: And you can get your car out of the car park.

Josh: Yeah. It's a daily talk show. Nat, have you got— are you announcing the name of your business? Can you say what it's called?

Nat: Oh, I don't think I can yet. Might as well. Well, no, because I'm still working on it. I'm still working on it, but I'll plug an Instagram handle. Do you guys know that? No, no, I don't know it yet. Do you know the Instagram handle? It's not, it's not, it's not concrete.

Matt: It's not concrete. The name is—

Josh: no, oh my gosh, it's not concrete.

Tommy: But, um, I'm sure there'll be an announcement, um, probably within the the next—

Nat: actually, definitely within the next month. So cheque out @yumyum_porkbun on Instagram. Great, thanks. And you can find me—

Matt: no, you just go follow me.

Josh: Great. It's The Daily Talk Show. hi@thedailytalkshow.com is the email address if you want to send us an email. Also, while you're following that on Instagram, feel free to screen grab when you're listening to the podcast and share so we know we can say thanks. Otherwise, see you tomorrow, guys.

Tommy: See you guys. Thanks, guys.

Matt: Bye.