Co-MC Gemma Watts

Josh: The Daily Talk Show. It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 498.

Tommy: Welcome to the studio, Gemma Watts.

Josh: Gemma Watts, live in our Abbotsford studio just outside the Melbourne CBD.

Tommy: Better than you being dead.

Josh: Yeah, what does that mean?

Tommy: That you're live.

Josh: Live, yes. Not to be confused with alive.

Gemma: Without a doubt the worst intro I've had.

Tommy: Weekend banter. What we're actually doing is just showing Mr. 97 how not to do the intros and stuff. MCing for his MC duties of EP500 with yourself.

Gemma: Well, he is leading, is he not?

Josh: Oh, I think that there's going to be a bit of hand-holding going on.

Tommy: Yeah.

Gemma: Can we literally hold hands? I think that would be nice.

Mason: Yeah, we could walk out holding hands.

Tommy: That'd be so good. So we've officially given Mr. 97 the MC duties of our EP500 and we threw them over to you too. Glad. Thank you for accepting.

Gemma: My pleasure.

Josh: You like the mentor?

Gemma: I am his life coach, Auntie Gem.

Tommy: Also got some sad news.

Gemma: It, uh— Oh, I know what this is going to be. Nathan's available, isn't he?

Tommy: Nathan, young Nathan, is not available to announce our—

Gemma: Oh, who's got this gig?

Josh: He's studying because Tommy said on Friday— What are you laughing at?

Mason: Gem's just like, oh, well, who's got that gig now?

Gemma: Gem's informed today.

Josh: No, um, Nathan, we were talking about maybe what his age was. And I see in the Instagram DMs, Nathan said that the reason he couldn't be there was because he's studying for exams.

Tommy: And Egg Boy yesterday said to us that he's got exams next week.

Josh: I think it was a high school level anyway.

Gemma: I don't even know. Oh, okay. Because I was going to say exams doesn't rule it down.

Josh: Exactly.

Tommy: But are there any uni exams at the moment? Have you got any mates at uni? Have you got any mates?

Gemma: No, they're all in this room.

Josh: Pete's not here. But no, so it would be great. If you could announce it, TestAustralien staff.

Gemma: I mean, sure.

Josh: Yeah, I'll—

Gemma: yeah, let me sleep on it. Okay. I just noticed that because I don't have a tiara on today and I feel nude.

Tommy: I mean, it's not— you're fully clothed though. Yeah, having my like—

Gemma: for everyone listening, the top of my head visible is essentially a nip slip for me.

Josh: The, um, the plan that you have of the tiara, you were saying that you ordered a tiara in and then you've done a customisation. You've considered a tiara. Oh, sorry, what is it called?

Gemma: It's a crown.

Josh: A crown, okay. So the difference being it's a, 'cause I saw a guy the other day.

Gemma: I'm not telling you what the difference is, you have to wait.

Tommy: Okay, so you've got some, I'm not across these conversations. So you've actually ordered something for your head?

Gemma: Mm-hmm.

Tommy: For that $500.

Gemma: Your respective partners are aware of it.

Tommy: Okay, Mr. 97, he's gonna come out with nothing but regrowth.

Gemma: Perfect, which in a sense is a crown.

Tommy: Yeah, true. Do you think he needs to get that redone? What do you think he lays?

Josh: I actually think it's good.

Gemma: I see now we're at balayage. This is what we talked about when I was blonde. I just grew it out to a point where I was like, this is intentional, guys.

Tommy: People get balayage as intentional, like they just get a half. So you could go and get that done.

Gemma: Yeah. If you felt that way inclined.

Josh: I was going to say, why would anyone fucking get that done? I think it looks fine.

Gemma: It's so handsome though.

Josh: So what are you, 97, what are you going to wear on the night?

Mason: So I was thinking about this maybe 2 days ago. I was thinking I've got to go to Industry and get a shirt.

Gemma: We're going to Doncaster tomorrow. I am.

Josh: Shop-O.

Gemma: Yeah. Should we all go to Shop-O?

Josh: I'd love to.

Mason: Yeah, I was going to do a Saturday or Sunday.

Gemma: I'm going to Shop-O with Jill and Bruce tomorrow.

Josh: Okay, great.

Mason: Well, yeah, I was just going to get a shirt and then wear that with black jeans and white shoes.

Gemma: Like a classic.

Mason: What colour shirt?

Tommy: Yeah, what colour shirt?

Mason: I don't know yet.

Tommy: I mean, if you were going to pick one, like what? What? I mean, I wouldn't go there.

Josh: What about the talk show blue?

Gemma: I'm wearing talk show blue.

Josh: Are you?

Tommy: You actually are? Fuck. Mr. 97, you might have to get a talk show.

Josh: Could you get a tie in talk show blue? I reckon Ben Fordham probably has a tie in talk show blue.

Gemma: It's not actually, it's not technically talk show blue, but just now that I'm looking at it, it's talk show blue.

Tommy: Oh, great.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: It's, I mean, you're not going to go and all of a sudden come home in a salmon shirt. No, no, no. So you're quite clear on that then. What colour would you want?

Josh: I guess he's going to go white.

Tommy: Yeah, I thought I could see him in a white shirt too.

Mason: Yeah, yeah. White, maybe with like, I don't know, floral or some pattern on it.

Gemma: It would be good if you could get pants like the army ones and you can come out and start the number pad.

Tommy: I've got them off. I've got them. Yeah, I've got it.

Gemma: I think that would be really elegant way. Yeah. Going to be classy.

Josh: And so I called Gemma in the morning. I think that you thought that I might have been having a slight panic attack because you ended the call with, it's all going to be fine.

Gemma: Yeah, you did. Yeah. I didn't think you were having a panic attack.

Josh: I just was having coffee and just spitballing.

Gemma: Yeah, but there's just one thing that he's stressed about that I think is the best part.

Tommy: What is it?

Gemma: Well, I don't want to say it.

Josh: I was just like, so there's going to be lots of people there. Yes. And so remembering everyone's names. And then just like, oh, so I'm just hugging it. I guess I just hug everyone.

Gemma: I see. I didn't want to say it because I'm like, that's offensive to everyone that comes. No, no, no, I don't want to meet everyone.

Josh: I do want to meet everyone, but the thing is I want to meet them in the best possible way. So what I'd prefer is, uh, I'd prefer to just get coffees with everyone individually.

Gemma: That's going to take a long time.

Tommy: That's 100 coffees.

Josh: So you got 100 people.

Tommy: You don't have much time with your mum, let's be honest.

Josh: But how do we work that out? Go to muffin break in Dever Hills or whatever?

Gemma: That's where I used to work at Doncaster. Muffin break Doncaster.

Tommy: It's a good— So you, Gem, you just had your live show.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: For Glow Journal. Congrats.

Gemma: I heard it was a great night.

Tommy: Thank you.

Gemma: It was the best. It was so nice. Everyone turned up.

Tommy: Yeah.

Gemma: Everyone stayed like an hour after it had finished because There was a lot of wine and I was like, keep drinking.

Josh: Do you reckon that's the key?

Gemma: It was a party.

Tommy: Did you get pissed before or did you have a few drinks before?

Gemma: No, I had every intention of having a couple of wines before, but I just was like busy talking to people.

Tommy: Oh, so you stayed around. So this is what we've been trying to work out. Oh yeah. You hang around. See, this is like, say bye to everyone. No, at the start, sorry, pre-show, pre-show.

Gemma: I was there pre-show.

Tommy: Okay, so you're just mingling.

Gemma: Yeah.

Josh: And so people could see your theatre makeup. They could see the whole thing before you came out.

Gemma: My theatre makeup.

Tommy: Very dare you.

Josh: I mean, school productions, you're very big into, into theater.

Tommy: What does that mean, though? What's that?

Josh: Well, you'd never go out like if you were doing a performance in school, you're always backstage. People couldn't see you in your costume. They couldn't see you in your full outfit.

Gemma: Yeah, but it wasn't a performance.

Josh: Yeah, I know.

Gemma: It was a conversation.

Tommy: And so you think it's right to not— it's right to mingle first and then go up on stage?

Gemma: Yeah, but I understand that you guys want to come out to music. Oh, actually, I just had a thought on that. I am in high school, we were doing like end of year 12, we did an awards thing and just to like stitch up one of the boys when he was going out to accept something, we played, we were playing music for everyone. We played Jessica Simpson, Public Affair, and I just had this image of you guys coming out.

Tommy: How does that song go?

Gemma: Oh, I'm not doing it.

Tommy: Miss 97 will sing it.

Josh: Yeah, but do you know the song?

Tommy: No, I've got no idea.

Gemma: I think she's on rollerblades in the video, like a disco.

Josh: I mean, Newlyweds, great reality show.

Tommy: I imagine that was the Jessica Simpson one.

Gemma: Is that the one where she got confused between chicken and fish?

Josh: Yeah, yeah, chicken and sausage.

Tommy: What's her hubby's name? Chris?

Josh: No, no, no, they're not married.

Gemma: It was Nicholas Shea.

Tommy: Nicholas Shea, yes.

Gemma: I never watched it.

Tommy: That was huge. Was that the same time as The Hills?

Josh: No, it was pre-Hills.

Gemma: Pre-Hills.

Josh: Pre-Laguna, probably.

Gemma: Pre-Dukes of Hazzard.

Mason: Ah.

Tommy: And they're no longer together. No, I mean, that's a classic success story, as in an LA success marriage. They always break up. So they successfully did what everyone thought they were going to do. Is she married now, Jessica Simpson?

Gemma: Yeah, I think she was recently pregnant for like 2 years. You know those people who are pregnant and it just seems like— obviously not, but they just seem like they're pregnant for a long time.

Josh: Post like, uh, reposting old Insta photos.

Tommy: I see what you mean. Yeah, you're recycling.

Gemma: There was a lot of Yeah.

Josh: Do you have any tips in regards to us preparing for the evening? How that we can get the best version of ourselves?

Gemma: Well, this is what I was saying to you this morning, that whole thing with like not having a strategy is a strategy.

Josh: Like the silent strategy.

Gemma: Yeah. Just like don't overthink it and don't underthink it as well.

Josh: That's what I said.

Tommy: So we're both fucked. Josh is going to overthink it and I'm going to try and underthink it.

Gemma: And then you guys do this every day. Like it sounds like a wank, but just have fun with it and you'll be fine.

Tommy: As soon as the mic, as soon as I start talking, it's fine. Yeah, like, I know that we both will just start talking, but I mean, Mr. 97's in a harder spot. Let's be honest, he's a young guy.

Josh: Are you stressing?

Mason: Uh, a little bit. I'm probably underthinking it because I don't want to overthink it. Really? Yeah.

Gemma: Yeah, it seems like a good idea.

Tommy: Yeah. Yeah. We'll be holding hands.

Mason: It'll be fine.

Tommy: I mean, you've come leaps and bounds. Did you hear I was giving you some compliments today, Amy?

Gemma: Oh, yes, I did.

Tommy: Do you think it's true?

Gemma: Yeah, it's another thing we were talking about you behind your back this morning, but it was all good, baby.

Tommy: She's coming out of her shell. Yeah, out of his shell. Yeah, congratulations. I don't know where you go from here, but well done.

Gemma: Yeah, you got to learn how to accept compliments.

Mason: Yeah, I can teach you that.

Josh: And so I'm not that great either at receiving compliments.

Tommy: Nah, I just like to brush them off. Yeah. Like, who's good? Are you good? I can imagine you're good.

Gemma: Incredible.

Tommy: Yeah.

Gemma: No, I'm actually good at just about everything. I was interviewing—

Josh: Do you think that's your love language?

Gemma: No, my love language is quality time.

Josh: Okay.

Gemma: And so I don't need the feedback. Like, I don't need positive affirmations, but I love them.

Tommy: How do you then go with clients? So you've written some awesome copy you just think is outstanding, which is just any copy you write.

Gemma: Yes, yes, yes.

Tommy: What if, like, because we've had some clients recently where you show them something and there's no negative feedback, but there's nothing positive in there. And so for me, I, I read that and go, that's actually positive, because if it was, he would bring negativity to it if it wasn't.

Josh: Don't hate it.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you deal with, uh, clients that don't give you any affirmation around the quality of your work?

Gemma: Oh, as long as they're not criticising it, it's fine. I mean, yeah, there's not a lot you can do with that.

Tommy: Do you fish for it?

Gemma: Nah, no, I'm so into myself I don't really need to fish for it.

Josh: Do you—

Tommy: sorry, one more thing.

Josh: Do you—

Tommy: because sometimes I like to presuppose, presuppose, presupposition.

Josh: So you're like saying, oh my God, what is this?

Tommy: So this is a presupposition. I was saying presuppose because I was trying to shorten it, but it's pre— a presupposition is, say, I would, I would lead with to encourage their thinking before they watch it, this video, we're really happy with it, we're really happy with it, it's come together amazingly.

Gemma: Oh sure, I do it.

Tommy: So you're sort of serving up what they can expect.

Gemma: Yeah.

Tommy: And so it can alter how they view it.

Gemma: Yeah, definitely, because we would— when I still doing singing, they would say like, don't walk out on stage and go, you know what, I do have a bit of a cold. So because then they've got in their head like, oh, you know what, she does sound off.

Tommy: So that's a negative presupposition.

Josh: And that was your concern, TJ, with Courtney when she was performing at MTV Unplugged. Yeah, she was very much like, hey guys, I'm very nervous. And then she'd say, MTV asked me to tell you a few stories. 'But I don't have any.' And then she played the song.

Gemma: But she's like endearing.

Tommy: Yeah, exactly. That was.

Josh: If you've got a song called 'Depresseden,' I feel like it's okay to sort of be your shtick.

Tommy: We can. Yeah, I think telling somebody, 'This is great, I'm really impressed.' Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with doing that.

Josh: There was actually something very funny about that song, by the way, 'Depresseden,' because it's talking about like there's all hard rubbish on the lawn and it looks like an ice den.

Gemma: Oh, so she's in your street.

Josh: No, but it's funny because it's like, this is, you know, sponsored by Visit Victoria. It's a song about how shit Preston is.

Tommy: The good thing is, what do you get? One? How many? I actually don't know how many you get, but rubbish days. How many hard rubbish days per household?

Gemma: You can also book it.

Tommy: I can. Yeah, I think there's an allocated amount of bookings that you can get.

Josh: In the South, yeah, sorry, in Yarra Council, you get 2. I'm guessing it would have gone up when like the Netflix doco Minimalism came out. I'm sure everyone was doing that.

Tommy: Yeah, true.

Gemma: Once a year.

Tommy: Once a year. Yeah. Hey, can you put on the aircon?

Josh: The same, is it the same time every year for everyone?

Tommy: Well, it seemed that everyone was having the collection bullion.

Gemma: So what, um, well, I'm just referring to council to you and I think service is a different one as well.

Tommy: Yeah. But what you're referring to is these, the whole neighbourhood was having a throwout except for this one house. They threw out the whole house.

Gemma: The whole house.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: Yeah.

Gemma: I think it could have been deceased estate because I reckon we talked about this the last time.

Tommy: There's a young family in there now. Like I've seen her and it seems all clean.

Gemma: We never, I don't recall our whole street having it at the same time, but we always book it because my mum is very like, if she wants something out of that house, if it is not gone in 2 and a half days, illegal to take from the hard rubbish collection.

Tommy: Yes, it is illegal. Really? Yeah.

Josh: I had a guy knock on our door asking for the remote control for a TV that we threw out.

Tommy: How do you know it came? Oh, because this was a house that you lived in?

Josh: Yeah, we had a house. My dad's place. Yeah. And there was— TV was out the front.

Gemma: Oh my God.

Josh: And a guy knocked on the door. Hey, have you got the remote?

Tommy: Wow.

Josh: I mean, yeah, that's pretty— that's next level stuff.

Mason: Did you find it for him?

Josh: No, no. Well, we didn't have the fucking remote. That's why we're chucking out the TV.

Tommy: I mean, worth asking.

Josh: Gem, when you go to Doncaster, would you bump into people?

Gemma: It's called Shoppo.

Josh: Shoppo.

Gemma: Sorry. But for the international International audience.

Josh: The mall, Westfield. Do you, um, I never bump into anyone I went to school with because I'm not around that area.

Gemma: Every time. Really? Every time.

Tommy: What are they doing there?

Gemma: Shopping.

Tommy: Like, you'd be a bit, who are these?

Josh: Who?

Tommy: Yeah, what kind of people?

Josh: And which stores?

Gemma: I don't know.

Tommy: I don't know.

Josh: Like JB Hi-Fi?

Gemma: I don't know.

Josh: Okay, wherever you're going. Seed? Do you have Seed?

Gemma: You know what, when I'm going to Doncaster Shop-O, I'm there for like Big Dubs or Target.

Josh: Really?

Gemma: All my other shopping happens on the internet because I'm like not in a rush for the things. But if I need to go to Target, it's urgent.

Tommy: Which car park do you park in? It's very inside.

Josh: Oh, I don't want to reveal it because I think you probably go on the same one.

Tommy: Is it—

Josh: do you enter from the— maybe they've closed down, it's now TJ Maxx or TK Maxx, uh, where the Toys R Us used to be. No, going underground, up.

Gemma: So I, I know where you are. The— if you're happy to park not undercover, which I always am, you want to go onto the roof, go up as far as you can, and then you do a little like an S-shape, and then you end up on the roof not undercover near David Jones. And there are always ample spots entering from Village. Um, you gotta— you've got to go past Village and you've got to keep going to— yeah.

Tommy: The place where we go, I mean, this is, if anyone's never been there, they don't give a fuck about this, but I park where you showed me, Josh. TGI.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: I know the Village. I mean, that's a very obvious one.

Gemma: The one where you go past Village and then you go around a little.

Tommy: Oh, another thought. If you want to have a kid and then you get the, no plans, the kids, the prams, the pram spot.

Josh: Interesting.

Gemma: You know, it's not illegal to park in those without a pram. Like it's a dick move. You can't park in a disabled spot without a disabled tag, but you can park in a pram spot without a pram.

Tommy: Yeah, where'd you read this from?

Gemma: Jill Watts.

Tommy: So your mum has done—

Gemma: She doesn't, but she, every time she drives past, she goes, you know I could.

Josh: Well, look that up. Nice.

Tommy: Um, on Friday's episode, we're talking about, uh, reclining your chair on an aeroplane. You've been flying— we were in Sydney on Monday. You were there too?

Gemma: Yes, I was.

Tommy: Um, can you on an hour flight recline your chair?

Gemma: Well, you shouldn't.

Tommy: Yeah, but you can.

Gemma: You can. You can do all sorts of things that you shouldn't do.

Josh: Yeah, I think it's frowned upon.

Tommy: Why are they there? Like, if you guys seem to think that that's exactly how it is.

Josh: Well, because the thing is that you, you take off and you land. Once you take that, when you take that part out, then you take out food service.

Gemma: This is my issue, because if I'm flying Qantas, you get food and I'm flying Qantas.

Josh: Are you going to be okay? So I've got the tray table down, I've got my laptop on it.

Gemma: Food comes, laptop comes under here. Yeah, on my little Tiki Pie.

Tommy: So international you can?

Gemma: Of course. Yeah, it's bizarre if you don't on an international flight.

Josh: No, I didn't.

Gemma: Any cocktails?

Tommy: I mean, Mr. 97 is heading overseas with us next week, Thursday.

Gemma: Where are you guys off to?

Tommy: We're going to LA.

Gemma: What?

Josh: How do you say LA, by the way?

Gemma: Oh, I'm saying it wrong, and that episode threw me into a fucking spiral.

Tommy: What happened? Did you find out?

Gemma: Los Angeles.

Tommy: Los Angeles.

Gemma: I'm seeing my best friend tonight. She just got back from there. I will ask her.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: What she thinks.

Gemma: Yeah.

Josh: Why would she be?

Gemma: Well, I don't know. She's just clever.

Josh: How long was she there for?

Gemma: A month. But then she's smarter than me.

Josh: It doesn't qualify her to tell us this.

Gemma: Yeah, but I think which one of you was saying Los Angeles?

Josh: I was saying Los Angeles.

Gemma: That is probably correct.

Josh: Because I hear like Osher Ginsberg back in the day on the 'We're live in Los Angeles.' Like, he would do it. And there's a few other—

Tommy: like, I feel like we—

Gemma: I'm doing it here, but I'm—

Mason: we played a pronunciation of it and it was Los Angeles.

Gemma: Yeah, exactly, which is hence my spiral.

Tommy: We should definitely do it now. We should definitely do a video over there of asking, 'So what's, what, what's this town called?' And we'll get just a montage of Burbank. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh: West Hollywood.

Tommy: No, no, no, no, no. What's, what state are we in?

Gemma: California.

Tommy: Any suggestions for a young man who's about to fly? I mean, he hasn't really done a great deal of travel in his life. He's 19. From Gemma, is there any sort of travel tips, tricks?

Gemma: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Well, I own the only tips that I have are skincare.

Tommy: I mean, he seems like a guy that would appreciate that.

Josh: My domain name, uh, Plainface, just lapsed.

Tommy: Oh, how was that? How was that unicorn of a business?

Gemma: How long did you have that for? Because that's our anniversary, guys.

Josh: Yeah, so that was 18 months. Yeah, because that was—

Tommy: Oh, wow.

Josh: So the first time. So, well, the first time. Do you remember the first time you came on the show?

Gemma: Yeah, but that was like months after because you went away.

Josh: Yeah. So it was November.

Gemma: Yeah.

Josh: Because it was, I think we did a whole bit on how bogan the Melbourne Cup was. And I think that I panicked and I just saw—

Gemma: Post Melbourne Cup. Yeah.

Josh: Which is fine.

Tommy: It's fine. That was a year ago. That's only a year ago.

Josh: But Gemma's already been planning. You're planning your hat at the moment, aren't you?

Mason: You?

Gemma: I locked it in just after I got off the phone. I was trying to source this very specific hat for Derby. Fucking got it.

Josh: And what, and what, what is it?

Gemma: It's like a very wide brim. It's a straw situation. Um, it's like a bit Audrey Hepburn. I'm toying with the idea of a long glove, two long gloves.

Tommy: I'm not just going with one glove. Where's your other one?

Gemma: Because I'm just wearing like a very simple black dress, and then I like the idea of gloves, but it could be 35 degrees. I don't think it's going to be.

Josh: Okay, then I'm wearing a wool suit on Cup Day, so hopefully it doesn't rain.

Tommy: Oh yeah, because there's a chance of it being 35, there's a chance of it raining.

Gemma: Last year Cup Day it was like torrential in the morning and then it got very sunny in the afternoon.

Tommy: What do you think about my friend's, I think it's genius, idea of putting his sunglasses into an Express Post bag, mailing them home so that he can go out and get fucked up? And then he gets home the next day. Monday comes around, his glasses arrive.

Gemma: Oh yeah, I was a bit confused by that. I don't fully understand. So why?

Tommy: Because you lose them. I mean, he doesn't have a handbag. I mean, you don't have a clutch as a man.

Gemma: You just put them in your little—

Tommy: Yeah, and then you go out and you're taking a piss in the bushes next to motel and then it comes out. That's the difference.

Gemma: I haven't taken a piss in the bushes in some time. 2019. It's been like a couple of days.

Josh: Yeah, I mean, when was Melbourne Cup?

Gemma: No, I'm very good at the Melbourne Cup when girls have their shoes off.

Josh: Oh yeah, not a good look. No. Well, there's always— it feels like it was only a few years ago that the lady pushed the police officer into the bush.

Gemma: I think that was 2 years ago.

Tommy: What happened?

Gemma: Oh, it's very funny.

Josh: No, it was just like a lady.

Gemma: Pissed idiot, I think is the technical term.

Josh: Pissed idiot just pushed a cop.

Gemma: Yeah.

Josh: And he went into the bushes and then she got arrested.

Gemma: As you do. Yeah, yeah, that's one way to get arrested. I probably won't this year.

Josh: Now, what would be—

Gemma: we'll see.

Tommy: Have you got any friends that have been arrested? Females specifically? Like, I feel like it's such a male thing, like some just some idiot.

Gemma: Just the one that got detained but not arrested.

Josh: What was the detain—

Gemma: what were we, um, again, we touched on this last time.

Tommy: I want to go— Touched on it that we couldn't touch on it.

Gemma: Yeah, detained and deported.

Josh: Oh, that's right. And then I did about the— like, you were a model.

Gemma: Yeah, you just assumed all my friends are models.

Josh: Yeah, sure. Um, have you been to the US or no?

Gemma: No.

Josh: Okay, are you gonna go?

Gemma: Yeah, I should.

Josh: Hi.

Gemma: Yeah, I'll come next week.

Josh: You should see what the flights are like.

Gemma: They're quite cheap. Races.

Josh: Oh, that's right.

Tommy: So we're away during Melbourne Cup, which is good because then How many days off do people get? 2?

Josh: 1? 1 Monday.

Gemma: Technically, the Tuesday is the public holiday. A lot of places will give you the Monday off.

Tommy: Yeah.

Gemma: I'll still work the Monday.

Tommy: But it is only a Victorian.

Gemma: I'm not going to do all 4 days though.

Tommy: It's a Victorian public holiday. Oh, we need to ask you a favor. I know might not be able to happen. Anyway, you can get birdcage tickets for Mr. 97's dad.

Josh: Birdcage?

Gemma: I can't get birdcage tickets for my dad. My parents are Flemington members and they can't. They don't.

Josh: So literally Mr. 97's dad, he's been having all these crazy ideas and requests. He's been, he started investing more into the show from a time point of view.

Tommy: Appreciate it. Don't stop. So don't stop.

Josh: So he started. What's your dad's name, by the way?

Mason: Rick.

Gemma: Rick.

Josh: So, so Rick has been on point when it comes to content suggestions. He had the idea. He said, Mason, do you know what I think you need to do? You need to get a makeover for episode 500 and Gemma can manage the whole thing.

Gemma: Yeah, I think I suggested this at episode 400 and said, cool, we've got 100 episodes.

Josh: This isn't the Mason Lauder Show though. You know, we were looking at—

Tommy: Mason Lauder? Who's Mason Lauder?

Josh: We're looking at all the—

Gemma: Yeah, I forget his surname all the time.

Josh: Yeah, really?

Gemma: One of my Yeah, when one of my friends works with your brother at the leisure centre or sports complex, right? To get the Uber to stop that one time. We still haven't found that footage.

Josh: She's like, have you tried to find that? Can we say what happened?

Mason: Sam's in China.

Josh: Oh, that's right.

Gemma: Yeah. She was like, what's his surname? And I'm like, uh, Seven.

Josh: That would be 97 in that case.

Gemma: No, I assumed his first name is Mister and 97 is his middle name.

Josh: I say, what's up?

Gemma: Oh yeah, I just— every time I get into an Uber, I immediately need to go to the toilet. And normally I like— you just Kegel through it. Um, and then yeah, Pilates? Uh, I used to for my arthritis. That's a fun gem of facts.

Josh: Oh really?

Gemma: Yeah, it's fine.

Josh: Um, when was the last time you had your bloods done?

Gemma: 2 years.

Tommy: What would you have done?

Gemma: Uh, vitamin D.

Tommy: Oh, did you pay one of those $70 million?

Gemma: Arthritis.

Tommy: So you're not part of the problem? No, you have a problem.

Gemma: No, my bones are just like— it's not ideal.

Tommy: Um, yes, training.

Gemma: Okay, it's good. But I've just got lumbar facet arthropathy. It's just one part of my spine.

Josh: Yeah, so stop fucking trying to give her medical advice.

Gemma: But I appreciate it.

Tommy: Weight training is good for all of us.

Gemma: Yeah, it is.

Josh: Well, I was speaking, uh, jump on the road to my friend, uh, my friend during the week, and she was saying similar to, you know, how you cracked it when I mentioned calories Yeah, I just don't love it. What she was saying, she's like, I've had to actually stop listening. She's like, I've had an eating disorder for fucking like 20 years.

Gemma: Yeah, it's super triggering.

Josh: But not only the calories, just food in general. She's reading a book called Intuitive Eating, I think it's called. And it's all about like, because so much of my stuff is like, I fear like my weight and doing that sort of thing.

Gemma: Nah, you've got to listen to my podcast with Jules von Hepp from Isle of Paradise.

Josh: Okay.

Gemma: It's— yeah, he just talks a lot about like body positivity because he, um, he has a tanning company, so he's like spray tanned every shape, size, like women that are like in a wheelchair because they're so frail from chemo. And like, he just— everyone's nude in front of him and they like, they just don't give a fuck. Like, it's such a— how you look is such a tiny—

Josh: it's such a good position to be in, like in regards to like being able to think that way. Yeah, being able to accept.

Gemma: It's an interesting chat. Pete listened to it because he messaged me and he's like, I'm just listening to your podcast. Jules von Hepp just told me to get a fucking grip. Yeah, yeah.

Josh: Specifically Pete?

Gemma: Yes.

Josh: Really? I mean, he does only eat salmon and I mean, he's, I would argue he's orthorexic, which is the—

Gemma: I don't think he is. I just think he's got like an understanding of, you know, what makes him feel better.

Tommy: I think to get any super result, like any results, because I've done it, right? There is a level of obsession, there's a level of thought, like it has to shift in some way. And so it'd be nice to land in this middle ground of not giving a fuck. Yeah, but we always care about something.

Gemma: Yeah, of course. I mean, I wouldn't be working in beauty if I didn't care about it. But yeah, what was that?

Josh: Did you— do you have, um, things that you do to make sure that if you think about those things Yeah, that you, um, say, okay, like, uh, like if you have a negative thought, how you process it.

Gemma: I, I mean, I'm just not a super negative person, but I just— this again, this will sound like a real wank— I just like to thank my body. Like, I'm so grateful that I have like a brain that works, I've got a heart that's pumping blood around my body, all of my limbs are like okay and moving. Like, that's such a nice position to be in. So like, your body's your body. Like, we're renting a space.

Josh: I think it's only until you— I remember when I got my two herniated discs, all of a sudden your perspective changes where you're like, I'm struggling to walk, and all of a sudden you start appreciating just going out for a walk.

Gemma: Of course, it's easier said than done, but I just like to like bring it back to that.

Josh: Do you have something that you say when friends do are in those modes of obsession? What do you say?

Tommy: Shut the fuck up.

Gemma: Yeah, that. No, my friends know, like in our friendship group if you're coming to Gemma for the pep talk, it's, it's tough love. And I will turn people back. Like, people will say, I need a Gemma Watts pep talk. And I'm like, baby, not there. You're not ready.

Josh: What does that mean? When do you feel like they're not ready for a pep talk?

Tommy: What's the telltale signs of it?

Gemma: Oh, when they're still fishing for compliments, because I'm not giving them to you. They're not.

Josh: And so you think that— do you think—

Gemma: but if they're whinging about their weight specifically or how they look, Um, the way I remind my girlfriends is if we're talking about someone else, like, oh, I met— I saw such and such the other week, and I go, oh, which one's that again? They're never going to describe them as, oh, you know, the one with like the boobs, or, oh, she's so skinny. They're gonna say like, oh yeah, she works for such and such, she goes out with this person. Like, it's— you're never describing someone as like the thin one. And if you are, what does that say about you?

Josh: Yeah. I like the one that you're like, no, they're dating this person. Oh yeah, no, they're dating AFL footy player, which is a real— you've really played into your cliché.

Tommy: I thought you might be across this, some dating app where it's new. Shane Warnes is on it. Olympia Valance was on it. You're not meant to talk about it if you're on it. Yeah. What? Tell us about it.

Josh: I mean, not that you're on it.

Gemma: I'm not on it.

Tommy: So we can talk about it.

Gemma: But you have to be, you have to be referred. So someone that's already on Raya has to refer you and then there's an approval process. Michelle Andrews wrote an article about it.

Josh: I love the idea that it like this made up idea that it could have been made by Shane Warne and everyone just gets suggested Shane Warne.

Gemma: No, because it's international.

Josh: Raya.

Gemma: Raya Delevingne's on there.

Tommy: Raya? Look it up.

Gemma: R-A-Y-A. Oh, Raya.

Tommy: Give us like the, you know, what do they say? Like Airbnb, they have like a slogan or whatever. Uber, they have a slogan, all these.

Mason: Startups. Tinder for A-listers.

Tommy: Is that what it's called? Yeah, Tinder for A-listers.

Gemma: Michelle wrote a really good article about it. Pop it in the show notes.

Josh: Where is it?

Gemma: 97contemplative.com.au.

Tommy: There's also a website.

Josh: It's not the website. It's not the website.

Gemma: We've met before. This isn't my first time.

Tommy: I know a guy who's on like a, not a sugar daddy. It's, I think it might be something like a sugar daddy.

Gemma: Michelle wrote an article on that as well.

Tommy: Where it's, you don't have to be an old guy. You could be my age, 30, whatever, my friend's 30-something, it just means he has to take girls out for expensive dinners.

Gemma: Yeah. Chris calls me sugar mama.

Tommy: Why? Because you take him out for tacos? Yeah.

Josh: Love it. For Taco Bell. How often do you go there?

Gemma: Have you listened to that?

Josh: Yeah, that's good.

Gemma: You got dragged through the mud a little bit.

Josh: No, it was fine. I didn't actually listen to the whole thing. Do I get dragged through the mud more than the Taco Bell reference? I have to listen. Jordan Michaelides' Uncommon podcast. Gemma was on there. Yeah.

Gemma: I wonder if Radio Mike and Jack Post were a bit nervous to follow me because my interview was so good.

Josh: It could have happened.

Gemma: My parents and I were having a bit of a drink on the weekend and re-listened to it over some wine.

Mason: Oh, really?

Josh: Do you watch YouTube or do you like—

Gemma: No, I wasn't thrilled with the angle of the YouTube, if I'm honest.

Josh: It is hard. I mean, the video thing is hard.

Gemma: I was wearing the wrong bra.

Josh: It's annoying. I've been there. Yeah. The thing with filming and we're talking about this with, who are we talking with?

Gemma: I see I was unprepared.

Josh: Sarah Greenberg. We're talking to her about release forms and stuff.

Tommy: She's amazing.

Josh: Yeah, she's great. The life of greatness.

Mason: A life of greatness.

Josh: What did I say?

Mason: The.

Gemma: How embarrassing for you.

Josh: Well, it's a contentious issue because it's for some reason it triggers some form of dyslexia in me, which I shouldn't say because I don't have dyslexia. Um, actually, what did Bree say the other day? Oh, she was talking about her friend. She said, oh yeah, her friend's, um, she's got Asperger's. And then, then she's like, and she was struggling to spell. I'm like, you sure? And she's like, oh, I mean dyslexia. Slightly different.

Gemma: A little bit different.

Josh: A little bit different. But, um, no, it's good to have you here. Anything, anything else? No, Seven, before we— we're doing a show.

Gemma: We're doing a super prepared—

Tommy: we're just doing a short one today. Um, we've got an LA Fact of the day, obviously, for Mr. Sevs. Better be better, better be better than the other day.

Mason: You didn't like Fridays.

Tommy: Ah, okay.

Mason: LA and San Fran are on opposite sides.

Josh: San Francisco or SF?

Mason: SF.

Josh: Only, uh, noobs and, uh, internationals would say San Fran.

Tommy: And what are we? He's a noob and an international.

Josh: I've been there 3 times, so I'm basically okay.

Gemma: Jesus.

Mason: LA and SF are on opposite sides of the San Andreas fault line. These two cities are moving 2.5 inches closer every year. So in around 10 million years, LA and SF will be right next to each other.

Tommy: How good's that?

Josh: How many years?

Tommy: That's quite bad for everyone in the middle.

Mason: 10 million years.

Josh: Oh, 10 million. It's a while.

Gemma: I'll be alive then. I'm a robot.

Josh: Have you seen the film about genetics?

Gemma: It's quite—

Josh: Which one?

Mason: I mean, you recommended that I watch. I don't— I wouldn't recommend that to people.

Josh: Why?

Gemma: Why?

Mason: It's a bit weird.

Josh: What is it? What's weird about it?

Mason: They were trying to make a dog glow in the dark.

Tommy: So, I mean, you can get glow-in-the-dark collars. No, the whole thing. This way you can just get a glow-in-the-dark dog.

Josh: What's the thing called? CRISPR?

Gemma: Get a glow stick, do that thing where you rip it open and then all the—

Josh: Is it called CRISPR? Was that the technology?

Mason: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tommy: CRISPR.

Josh: The genetic genes. And so the— why the guy wants to make a dog. The reason you didn't like it was because the people in the film were quite alternative. You would not survive one week living Northside. Like, they were just all sort of tattooed, coloured-haired.

Gemma: Where?

Tommy: It's not even that.

Josh: Just like one of them was in Oakland, which is just over the bridge.

Gemma: I just thought of myself Northside.

Josh: Yeah, he wouldn't survive.

Tommy: He's a Southside boy or suburbs.

Gemma: Fine.

Josh: Absolutely not. He'd be like, no one wears deodorant.

Gemma: It's Eastern suburbs. We're neutral. We can live anywhere.

Tommy: Why? Because you're from the—

Gemma: The east. It's neither north nor south.

Tommy: It is actually. I mean, people, you do get a vibe. People could blend in most places.

Gemma: I can, I can drink anywhere.

Tommy: Except for all those bogans that are at the Manningham cake shop revving their cars.

Gemma: The Manningham cake shop.

Tommy: Manningham Square, you know, like across the road from Maccas.

Josh: Anyway, could we do like a live?

Mason: Is that where Woolies is?

Tommy: Yeah, Woolies. And there's a cake shop that's open late.

Mason: Yeah, yeah.

Tommy: There's all these bogans with cars.

Gemma: Yeah, yeah.

Mason: Are they bogans or are they like Greeks and yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh: We're going to say they're more Greek than bogan.

Tommy: So bogan would be Aussies. But yesterday these Greek blokes had the most bogan Aussie car, like an old, like a Commy. It was a sick car. They had the hood open, Commodore. They had the SLS.

Gemma: Your dad would have loved it.

Tommy: And they fucking vroom. It was so annoying.

Josh: This conversation feels like I'm back in 2005.

Gemma: Ahi, car chat. Yeah, I just don't care for it.

Tommy: You don't have a car?

Gemma: Yes, I do.

Tommy: Can I guess your little 50?

Josh: Peugeot?

Mason: No.

Josh: Yeah, it's Peugeot.

Mason: She drove in the office, not today, but she's driven into the garage. You've helped her go in today.

Josh: I put the warning sticker on today. Where have you been, by the way? What lunch place?

Gemma: Peaches.

Josh: Where is it?

Gemma: Swanston Street.

Tommy: What are we doing there? Drinking? Just like a business meeting or just a piss-up?

Gemma: No, meeting.

Josh: What sort of cuisine?

Gemma: I mean, we had some chippies and some fried pickles because health. So I mean, potatoes or vegetable pickles.

Josh: No, I'm a vegetarian. I get it.

Gemma: And basically just roast veggies.

Josh: Roast veggies.

Tommy: So is that— was it work or no?

Gemma: For tax purposes for the girls.

Tommy: Yes. You can only write off the chippies and the pickles. You can't do the alcohol.

Mason: Okay.

Josh: What do you think about getting— I've been thinking, getting rid of Apple Podcast reviews. We got one 2-star rating.

Tommy: How do you get rid of that?

Gemma: I don't think you can.

Josh: I think Apple Podcast should just get rid of them.

Gemma: Oh, get rid of it. Yeah, Michelle and Zara have thoughts on this because I got— it's just, isn't it funny though how you can have hundreds of positive reviews, but just one thing. One girl wrote and still a beautiful review. She's like, I love this podcast. Just the, like, it's a bit too soft for me to listen to on the train. So I took a star off and I was like, oh no, soft.

Josh: But I just, I just love that it's, yeah, she's controlling the stars like she's on fucking The Judge of Australia.

Gemma: But it was fine. It was, that's fine.

Tommy: We're going to deduct one for this one.

Josh: You know what? How about we deduct you?

Tommy: But I think most podcasts that have 5-star reviews, it's because there's a whole bunch of people that, like Uber, even if it was a bit shit, you gave a 5-star review.

Josh: I don't know.

Gemma: I think me and Shanzara don't read theirs because they're like, it's a fun platform on which to bully people.

Josh: Yeah, well, that's it. It's like this gross anonymous opportunity for people to troll.

Tommy: But we do appreciate your 5-star.

Josh: Yeah, if you want to, you know, feedback welcome if it's positive. Actually, that's— I reckon we should start a movement. We need to remove the negative noise, and the best way to do that is by your 5-star reviews.

Tommy: I get it.

Josh: So if you could leave a 5-star—

Gemma: I like it. I'll get upset for 3 and a half minutes, but then I'm like, yeah, fair enough.

Josh: Why don't we play a game, uh, uh, one for one type of thing? You leave a review on the Daily Talk Show and then leave a review for either, uh, Glow Journal, uh, for Shameless, something like that. One of the other podcasts. I know Shameless need—

Gemma: yeah, they need more listeners, the poor things.

Tommy: I need to make a decision, guys. I want you to help me with this haircut. No, Uber. I got an Uber the other night home, and the guy, as I got in— and it's happening more and more— he at least was nice enough to say, do you mind if I take a call?

Gemma: Oh yeah, yeah.

Tommy: And I was like, yeah, anyway. And then he's just fucking blurting out.

Josh: I hope he just picked up his actual phone and was doing it.

Tommy: No, he had his headphones on. So I've got right now Shiver. I really wanted to give him—

Josh: Shiver, is that his name?

Tommy: That's his name. So I've got it here. I've got— it's at the point where I need to give him—

Gemma: I know someone with that name. I don't know, Shiva.

Tommy: It might be Shiva. I don't want to give him 5 stars, but then I don't want to give it— I'd like to give him 1 star.

Josh: No, no, no.

Tommy: For his trip.

Josh: Why?

Gemma: But you have so many other options.

Tommy: Because you're fucking driving. It doesn't mean you can take a personal call.

Josh: You said yes.

Gemma: I got a worse one. Do you want to hear mine?

Tommy: Yeah, I want to hear it.

Gemma: Too bad if you said no.

Tommy: Yeah, like, it's— he's not asking for me to say no.

Josh: He's asking you Did you hear what he was saying?

Tommy: No, he was speaking.

Josh: Okay, so what about this? His mum's dying of cancer and he's having to work.

Tommy: This is the last call.

Josh: No, that's it. Last call. Last call with his mum.

Tommy: Great. So 5 stars for Shiva. But then let's flip it. What's the opposite? What's the alternative?

Gemma: Okay, so this hasn't happened today. Today I haven't been hit on by my Uber driver. That happens a lot. Uber driver. But what happened, I got picked up from home and he was in the middle of eating a meat pie.

Josh: Was this a great idea?

Gemma: He's in the middle of eating a pie and I got in the car and he said, do you mind if I finish this? And I said, yes, I do. Like, I have booked this Uber because I need to be at a place at a certain time. And he was like, okay, and then drove and just ate it with the other hand. Mounted a curb, the whole thing, which is not that bad in comparison to other Uber drivers.

Josh: Sorry, empathy storey again. I know this isn't fun, but try the opposite.

Tommy: So do what you're—

Josh: do me a He's got cancer and he's fucking doing this between going to see her and he hasn't eaten all day because they don't have anything he can eat at the hospital.

Gemma: Don't accept the ride if you're not ready to take the ride.

Tommy: That's so true.

Mason: So yeah, it's a good point.

Tommy: It didn't—

Gemma: this shit didn't happen full of that.

Josh: He's trying to make money.

Mason: He's trying to pay for a cancer treatment.

Tommy: Uber early days. Uber early days.

Gemma: I wish they can see Sam's face.

Tommy: Uber in the early days was like, they had mints, water, bottles.

Gemma: I would have loved a mint today.

Tommy: Very specific. Cheapies. Now they're just fucking the loosest units ever.

Gemma: Yeah, just don't accept the ride if you're not ready for me to get in your car.

Josh: And he was like, fucking great.

Tommy: Should we give him a tip? It's from the company.

Josh: Yes, yes, yes.

Tommy: This is from the company.

Josh: $3.

Tommy: $3. Yeah, $3. He just got $3 from the company. Great.

Josh: Are we going to be out? Do we need to transfer some cash into these?

Tommy: No, I think it went through. That's fucking ridiculous. We just—

Gemma: I've had some pretty bad Uber We just validated his poor behavior.

Josh: I think it's good.

Tommy: Or his mum will make it through his treatment that you guys are fucking banging on about.

Gemma: Phone calls don't bother me too much. Being hit on by the Uber driver does.

Josh: Not good.

Tommy: Then did you give him one star, the Uber driver?

Gemma: Oh, I've had to get drivers to pull over on the side of the road and me call another one because they've made me that uncomfortable.

Tommy: Really? Yeah.

Gemma: And so I get it pretty bad.

Tommy: One, what fucking pests.

Gemma: Yeah.

Tommy: Two, what are they saying? What kind of shit do they say?

Gemma: Oh, I won't go into it, but just go into it, you know, just turning around while driving, like looking you the whole way up and down, just asking about your personal life but in a creepy way.

Josh: Bree was actually going—

Gemma: I'll be finished at this event, do you want me to come pick you up? Here's my number. That kind of—

Josh: it's not ideal.

Gemma: No.

Josh: Bree was getting into a taxi and the guy was a little bit, a little bit, a little bit, you know, a little bit strange. Yeah, like blue gloves on or whatever and was sort of doing this Come here. And then Bri was walking over and a girl came up and said, don't get into that taxi. And then she said, like, he's— I think he might be stoned or something. He's been acting really strange. And then a guy that Bri had been talking to on the plane was going to get into that taxi and he got into the taxi and Bri's like, oh, fuck, no, no, he's gone into the taxi. He needs to know that the guy might be on drugs or something or not to do it.. And so she said, oh, hey, did you want to just grab a taxi with me? And he's like, oh, uh, where are you going? It's like, I'm going to Collingwood. He's like, are you sure? And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like doing big eyes. He's like, okay. And so he gets out and then he walks, you know, they're walking away and she goes, oh no, I was just letting you know, um, go get another taxi.

Gemma: I actually don't want to share a car with you.

Josh: That's what I was thinking. I was like, it's probably not like the whole wide eyes thing. If I had that, I was like, I'm getting hit on right now. Yeah. Don't you think?

Tommy: I know a person.

Gemma: I'm pretty good at gauging what I'm being hit on.

Josh: Absolutely.

Tommy: I know a girl who jumped into a guy's cab who was in the back and she ended up sleeping with him.

Gemma: Geez.

Josh: No, there's horrendous storeys that shouldn't get out there. So it was like an Uber?

Tommy: No, that was a cab.

Gemma: Uber's like trackable.

Tommy: She saw a guy jump into an Uber and then she jumped into it and then they actually got along really well. Oh, that's weird. It wasn't the driver. But it was a random— it'd be like if you just jumped into a cab and they love that and they end up hooking up.

Gemma: Yeah, casual sex.

Tommy: That's right, have a go, mate.

Josh: Yeah, but not with the taxi.

Tommy: Yeah, definitely not. Blue gloves, run. Yeah. Uh, any, any last—

Josh: we've actually got to go.

Tommy: Any last words before episode 500 that you'll be back on the show then?

Gemma: Nah, get ready.

Josh: Yeah, get ready. We'll have some songs going. I don't know if we need to get an APRO or PPCA license. I'm not worrying about it.

Tommy: Come up with Spotify or Spotify.

Josh: And then I know I'm sure AU79 being a venue need to have a licence for music. Maybe I'm getting really bogged down in the details.

Gemma: Yeah, look at Pete. Pete is what I said. He's like, I don't know why Gemma thinks I'm stressed.

Josh: I was having coffee. It's a daily talk show. Hi@thedailytalkshow.com is the email address. Apple podcast reviews are bullshit, but they're appreciated. See you at Shopper.

Gemma: See ya.