Amy, Bree, Grace & Gem - 24 Hour Live Stream

Gemma: The Daily Talk Show.

Tommy: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 722, and this is a different type of episode. We've got Grace Paris, Gemma Watts, Amy Jackett, and Brianna Phillips sitting down and taking over the show for half an hour. They sat down at midnight during our 24-hour livestream and just started chatting. They talk about some really interesting topics, motherhood, parenting, the pressures of society, being an only child. And this wasn't intended at all to be released as a podcast, but it was so interesting we thought we should. So, we pick it up where they're asking Grace about her family. And I hope you enjoy this one. This is episode 722.

Grace: I do. I have an older brother, so he's 27, turning 28 this year. He was meant to get married in on April 4th this year, but obviously due to the pandemic, they had to postpone the wedding till January next year. Yeah, so, and I was a bridesmaid and I was MC at the wedding, and I know, so it was quite sad.

Amy: I feel like that's gonna be Gemma's jam, being an MC.

Gemma: I've got a lot of those gigs. I'd love to. I mean, if I'm not—

Grace: I'm gonna kill you.

Gemma: Yeah, yeah, if I'm not the MC, whatever I say. Yeah, if it's not that, I'm gonna kill both of you. So yeah, I guess fair enough.

Grace: Even if I'm not marrying him, that's fine. Um, so yeah, no, so my older brother said they're postponed until January next year, 23rd of January. So I'll have to come back to Perth next year anyway in the summer, which is great. But, um, yeah, it's exciting. But everything's been planned. We had all the dresses, all the flowers, all the shoes, the hair, all the tans, everything, you know, planned. And then it was about a week before everything got shut down, they decided to postpone it themselves. So a bit sad, but then also like obviously understandable that with the current situation. So yeah, well, next January next year is going to be a great year, a great month, great month.

Gemma: You're about to say a great year, and that's how many social comments January, a great year.

Grace: Gemma will be my birthday next, next January, so it will.

Amy: And 20 days later is what the wedding is.

Grace: That's it! Amy knows my birthday. No, that's it. So yeah, it'll be a, it'll be a great month. It'll be like Christmas, you know, Christmas, New Year's period, and then birthday, and then wedding.

Amy: Do you have Christmas traditions, Grace?

Grace: Um, we do have like the fam, like the immediate family, so like my mom, my brother, his fiancée, and myself. We have lunch on Christmas Day. Boxing Day is usually the extended family, so Mum's got a set lunch.

Amy: Like, do you— wow, we're gonna put a pin in that and come back around. Okay, do you, do you have like the same thing that you cook each Christmas lunch, or is it— does it change? Like one day it's like, we're gonna do a burrito Christmas?

Grace: No, so it's usually like—

Gemma: no, that's when they come to mine for New Year's.

Grace: That's it. Yeah, no, so usually it'll be— when my grandparents were still alive, that we used to have the full— because my grandparents are Scottish, we used to have the full like turkey, ham, pork roast. And then now it's kind of like my brother does a ham, my mum and I will do like a turkey or something with salads, like roast potatoes.

Amy: Is roast something a chicken?

Grace: Yeah, or something as a chicken with, with every kind of roast vegetable you can think of. Um, and then on Boxing Day we have the extended family come over and kind of bring their leftovers, and we'll have like a, a dining table worth of food, and we just kind of pick at that and, and everything. So that's kind of our Christmas tradition because everyone's— the family's so big, that's why we kind of split it into the two.

Amy: So yeah, so your mom, one of 10.

Breana: That's a big family.

Gemma: Shit, I thought my mom was bad.

Breana: I thought I had a lot because I'm one of 6.

Amy: Yeah, same.

Grace: Yeah, so Mom— so Mom's one of 20— uh, 10, sorry. I'm the 24th grandchild out of 24, so I'm the youngest. So all my cousins are older than me. And so they still treat me like I'm 7 years old, which is kind of annoying. But yeah, I'm a baby. That's it. It's kind of cute, but it's also like, I'm not— like, you can talk to me like I'm an adult.

Gemma: So I'd be close to the 20th of the grandchildren, I reckon. Mum's one of 7. Yeah, that's our family. Just everyone's married and remarried, and then the children have children.

Grace: And yeah, That's the thing, Gem. All my fam, all my cousins have kids, so I'm like, your kids are closer in age to me than I am to you, which is weird, but it's kind of how the family goes and you kind of just go exactly the same as mine.

Gemma: I can't wait to speak.

Amy: What's the age difference from youngest to oldest of your mom's siblings? Like, what's the gap?

Breana: Um, ish.

Gemma: 20, 25-ish years.

Grace: I'm really excited, Jim.

Amy: Yeah, how many?

Grace: 20, 25-ish years between mum and my mum's youngest sibling and her older sibling. I think that—

Gemma: but is it like even?

Grace: What do you mean even?

Gemma: So for mum, mum's one of 7, but they had the first 6— have they all like 1 or 2 years apart? Oh no. And Number 7. It's a decade apart. A decade? Yeah. And they've all got like super Irish Catholic names.

Grace: There's like— Oh, Gem, my family—

Gemma: Scottish Catholic. Yeah. So they're going to have like the crazy names. So the youngest sibling is Gerard, and because he's so much younger than all of them, they told him that his name's actually Gerhard and that he was just found on the doorstep and He fully believed that for a very long time.

Grace: That's good.

Amy: Bless him.

Gemma: But the funny part is that he looks exactly the same as my Poppy, who passed away before I was born. But you look at photos, exactly the same. So there's no way that he was adopted.

Grace: Yeah.

Gemma: If you're 10 years younger than your youngest sibling, sibling and you've been told your name is girl.

Grace: Ridiculous, isn't it? What about you? Yeah, Bri, you're one of 6.

Gemma: Where's the boys go?

Breana: Yeah, um, I can hear Josh talking out there. I'm not sure if he's setting something up because I was going to ask him to help me run the banner or to show me how to do it.

Gemma: Well, Damari, Braezer talked to us about you. We care about you.

Grace: Yeah, one of 6.

Breana: I'm one of 6, but they're half. So my dad's— my dad has actually been married 3 times. Okay, so he had 3 kids.

Gemma: Are you?

Amy: I just realized, yeah, because my dad remarried in there. No, I'm one of 3, 6, 8.

Breana: Oh, well, so am I actually. If you look at it like that, well, not necessarily, because like, that's 6 is all the same kids to my dad. So we've got like 3 from my dad's first marriage and then 3 from the second, which is what I'm from. And then he got remarried again and she already had 2 kids, so it's like quite a big family.

Grace: Oh, so you are one of 8 as well?

Breana: Yeah, it's actually technically kind of, um, yeah. And then I've got a nephew now too, he's like 1 and a half, he's so cute.

Grace: Oh, beautiful. I can't wait to have nieces and nephews.

Gemma: Wow. Oh, I won't have any.

Amy: Oh my God.

Breana: Oh yeah, you can, you can play with mine.

Amy: It's cute.

Gemma: Yeah, my kids, I would love that. I'm big on like a few of my friends now have had babies and I'm Auntie Gem and I love it because I'm an only child and Chris is one of two and his sister I doubt will have children. So we, uh, we're just surrogate auntie and uncle to everyone.

Grace: Oh, beautiful. I think that's nice though, like the aunties.

Amy: Oh, so sorry, darling.

Breana: My—

Gemma: just—

Amy: my cousin's an only child and she's, she's like just told me at the last family do that I was at, she's like, by the way, I'm an auntie to Bodhi because I don't have any siblings and you're my cousin and that's how it's gonna be.

Breana: And I was like, oh, that didn't even happen.

Grace: That's beautiful. That is so beautiful, isn't it?

Amy: Yeah, it's beautiful. I love family.

Grace: And that's the thing I was going to say, like, it's so lovely to be like, you know what, technically you're not the auntie or uncle, but you, you mean the auntie and uncle role in my family. So you're going to be the auntie and uncle to my kids. It's like a lot of my friends, I'm like, you're not related to me, but I can just see that you're going to be in my life for so long that you're going to be the auntie and uncle to my kids. Like, that's just what's going on.

Gemma: I think that's a nice thing.

Amy: Friends are auntie and uncle to Bodhi.

Grace: Yeah, it's so beautiful.

Gemma: I think that's the best thing. My parents were, um, my parents have like many, many friendship groups, but they're the friendship group they've kind of been like in for the longest. A lot of them don't have children, but I look at all of them as auntie and uncle. My, like, my godparents have never had children, and they're, you know, Auntie Kate, Uncle Jack.

Grace: Yeah.

Gemma: Um, and yeah, it's just, it's the same thing.

Grace: Like, beautiful.

Gemma: If you're that close with people.

Grace: Yeah, but I think it comes back down to the, like, you can choose friends. You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends kind of thing, you know? And you can choose the people that you want in your life.

Gemma: Yeah, I love the friendships that my parents have. Like, I look up to the way that they interact with their friends. I just, I like idolise the way that they socialize, and I just like, that is what I want. They put so much value in the relationships that they have with their family, but also outside of their family, and I'm like, that is how much value should be placed on friendships. I think it should be the same across the board.

Grace: Yeah, that's definitely beautiful.

Gemma: As I hear them listening to Dean Martin, I guarantee if I open the door, they will be dancing. Absolute favorite.

Grace: Beautiful.

Breana: So cute.

Amy: One of the best things I started dating Tommy that I really, um, appreciated was he, he had friendships. Like, he'd made up with his friend who was like 50, 40. Like, they were all across all like generations. And I remember thinking like, man, like, mine are all within like maybe a 10-year age span. And just thinking how beautiful it was. Like some of those were like, you know, kind of woven in from his family and from experience and how I just so want that for Bodhi. Like I would love like the richness of that experience and those, like that life lived. And I just think it's so beautiful.

Gemma: But I really think he'll get that knowing you and knowing Tayjay and just watching Like, I've known— well, how long have I known TJ and JJ for? Probably 2 years now. And just watching the way that you guys are with Bodhi, I just— he is gonna have the best time. Oh, he's just— yeah, anything you want for him is 100%.

Grace: That's so beautiful to hear as well, isn't it?

Gemma: Grace, you are going to fall in love with Bodhi within 3 and a half seconds. I mean, I, I'm sorry, Amy, I've already fallen in with him over, but he's just got like, I don't know, he's just got like, he just, yeah, I love, he's got it.

Grace: I love kids.

Amy: And like, this is something that I've told Gemma before, I'm not sure if you remember, but honestly, like, we're, you know, in this time where COVID is and you're not sure what the future holds and it's, it's all a bit whatever, and we, we kind of were thinking We don't know. We don't know if we'll have a second. Like, we always kind of had it in our plan and now we're thinking like, oh, I don't know. But, um, watching the relationship, Gem, that you have with your parents and just how fulfilled you are and close you are, and there doesn't seem to be a need. I think that there's almost like this myth that is like every child needs a sibling. And I feel like watching you and how, how much that I feel that you just dispel that by being so happy and making your family, like, those you surround yourself with has made us kind of— or me has made me just kind of look and go, oh, I don't think that he'll be missing out on, on, on anything. Like, he'll be gaining something else if he's an only child. And it's made me go, I don't think that that has to be the only way, which I thought it was.

Gemma: I, I very much remember you saying that because I told my parents and we all had a little we all held hands and got emotional together.

Grace: Oh, that's so beautiful.

Gemma: Yeah, I just, I like, I thought that was the nicest thing. And we're, we're not a super emotional family. My dad's pretty sentimental, but mum and I are pretty like guards up at all times. But I thought that was the most beautiful thing. Um, yeah, I think it's a to each their own, but I had a, I had a funny moment just during the week. I did, um, we did a nice social distance walk, myself and one of my best girlfriends, Breeza, Faye you met. Um, yeah, like, it's disgusting. Like, you look at her and she is Gigi Hadid. It's actually so disgusting. Anyway, we're walking and she's one of three and she was like, oh, do you just look— I mean, you know how you've got your friends where you just know their tone? She was like, oh, do you reckon you'll have two or three children? As though those were the only two options. I was like, oh, well, I don't know, maybe I'll have one, maybe I'll have zero, maybe I'll have 400. Like, what do you mean two or three? And she was, oh, well, I just was thinking about just my upbringing and I really enjoyed it. And I was just, oh, do I want two or do I want three? And I was like, well, I just, I don't think that there's a definitive argument for any number of children. I think there are so many factors and like I have loved being an only child and I have, I honestly think I have the best relationship with my parents. I love them so much. But if I were an only child with, you know, different parents, perhaps it wouldn't be the case. If I were one of four with siblings that I didn't gel with, like I just, I don't think you can come up with a definitive answer because you don't know what could come from the alternative.

Grace: Yeah, it just—

Gemma: yeah, I know, it's a totally great— it's funny.

Grace: Funny, I don't know what's gonna come from it. Oh, sorry, Amy, but like, you don't know what's gonna— that's right, you don't know. No, when you, when you try, you don't know what's going to come. Like, you, you don't know if you are able to have children or not, which is, I think, exactly for women, and, and especially for me, saying it's like I've always thought about not that I've ever tried for children, but it's like, oh, when I do try children, what will happen?

Gemma: I don't know.

Amy: But also, like, and that's the issue. Yeah. And I always assumed that I would have 2 to 3, like that, just like your friend Gemma, and then had one and thought, God, I love him more than anything in the world. But, and I thought that I would be a natural mum, but logistically I actually find it really hard. Like thinking about like, all right, what are you going to eat next? Okay. Um, what we have to like put you in the shower and now you have to brush your teeth. Like all of these things constantly. I just honestly felt overwhelmed by, which I was so surprised with because all my friends would say, you're going to be natural mom, all this stuff. And my mom loved being a mom and she was an incredible mom. And I always just thought it's in the genetics. Like I've got this in the bag.

Breana: Became— but you're a great mum, Amy. And it's— every mother is different, you know.

Amy: It's 100%. And I think I am, but I just also know— I know that— I know the toll it takes on me. And I thought— I thought that it would come easy, if that makes sense. And it does really work at it.

Grace: I understand that because I think the same. I think that for me, I'm like, yeah, it'll come easy for me. But I'm like, I don't know, I don't have kids.

Breana: It is hard to know.

Grace: Some— like, I, I don't— I have no idea what's going to happen. But I feel like I'm great with kids because I'm great with kids regardless. So we'll see.

Amy: I know one of my—

Breana: when I— oh, sorry, I'm sorry.

Amy: Oh, I was just gonna say really quickly, one of my friends who I thought would be like— we all were like, oh, look out for this one, like she's gonna struggle— she's on to a second and nailing it. And I'm like, oh really? Like, you just— yeah, you just can't tell. And I almost think that the fact that like I'm a, I'm a super emotional feeling person. She's not. And I almost feel like in this case it helps her because she's just like, no, just get on with it and just do it. Whereas I'm just like, oh, you're feeling bad, okay. And then I feel bad, and then like we're feeling bad together, and then let's try to get out of this together. And she's able to just get on with it. And you just don't know. I thought that that would be a real, um, help for me in this. And, and I think that it's really good for my relationship with Bodhi, but I think bringing another kid in the mix would— I would make it work, but I think it'd be just so hard.

Grace: Oh, definitely. You can only imagine how hard it would be.

Breana: Yeah. And I mean, I wouldn't have any idea because like, I mean, obviously Josh and I don't have kids, um, and we sort of decided early on because we've been together like forever, since we were like 16, known each other for like ever as well. Um, so beautiful. And we sort of decided when we were quite young, I don't know why, but instinctively I was like, I don't want to be a parent. And Josh was the same, like, I also don't like. And that was like a decision that we made early on. And then about 2 years ago, I started having all these issues with like potentially being able to conceive and whatnot. And I had this like split moment where it actually all of a sudden is taken away from you and you're like, oh, actually, would I be a parent?

Gemma: I I don't know.

Amy: Do you revisit it together?

Breana: Every now and then, but not so much. I mean, it's really hard because like I love what we have together now. And like we're really happy with it and we've really gotten to a place where we're like, it's really good. And I don't know whether I've told myself that storey now because I don't know. It's hard to know.

Gemma: Breeza, what was that? Obviously, like, you don't have to answer this, but I— what was that like with your friends? Because I don't consider myself to be, um, naturally very maternal. And I've spoken to Mum about this, and she was the same. Her and Dad, when they, they got engaged quite late, and they were like, if we fall pregnant, great, if we don't, big whoop. Um, Dad was different, but Mum was sort of where I'm at. I I would love to have a family, but it's not, it's really not my be-all and end-all. And I have had a strange kind of experience with my girlfriends from high school who were like, we, we want to be moms, we've got this timeline. And it, I don't know, it's just a funny pressure. So did you have like a similar thing with your friendship group or were they very like, yeah, whatever, to each their own?

Breana: Yeah, I think they've sort of been only very few of my friends, uh, parents, but I think they have been each their own. Also because, like, with my nephew, I will see him every weekend if I could, um, and like all those sort of things. And, you know, close with my friends and their kids, um, so I think I get so much enjoyment out of being with them and it doesn't really— I think when I say it to my friends where I say, oh, I don't I don't want to have kids, they're like, oh, like, I just expected you to be a parent. I don't know why though, like, you've got that maternal instinct in you. Um, and my two sisters really struggled to have children as well, like, they, you know, um, have that endometriosis. Um, and I remember younger feeling a lot of guilt, not want— by choice, and not wanting to have kids. Um, when it was fine for me, I mean, and now it's just so happened that it would be tricky anyway. Um, but yeah, so I think I, I myself in my mind hold a lot of guilt and resentment to myself for that because early on I thought, well, it's easy for me and people are unfortunate and I should want to have them. Um, but in terms of like with my friends and stuff, it's all been fairly easy. No one—

Gemma: that's good—

Breana: like, oh, you don't want to have kids? But it is different when you go on different schedules and trying to plan around. Yeah, because they're like, oh, with different times.

Grace: It's against the norm as well, isn't it?

Gemma: Yeah, I've only recently shaken the, um, the selfish branding, which has been super fun to educate my friends on that not everyone is on the same path, and you know, we all want different things from life.

Breana: So different as well.

Amy: Yeah, I feel like different paths as well, like selfish for something that you can't change, like you can't change what you want, you can't change the way that, like your orientation, and I feel like that's almost kind of in the same basket, like the way that you're just naturally, and the funny thing is about that also, Bri, is that arguably the selfish thing is to actually have children because of like environmental reasons and those kind of things, and it's so funny that society or whatever it is, whatever the, the factors are, cause guilt in—

Breana: and I think we put so much pressure on ourselves.

Gemma: Yes, definitely.

Amy: It's a lot.

Grace: It's because society says it as well, doesn't it?

Gemma: Yeah, we're absolutely conditioned to be like, this is—

Grace: yeah, you're meant to produce children. Like, that's what, that's what it is. Like, oh, you're gonna grow up to be a woman? Okay. You develop and then you have a career, when are you gonna have kids? That's kind of that— well, for me especially, it's that kind of timeline. Like, you have a career, when are you gonna have kids? You have a career, get married and have kids. So it— yeah, it's, it's, it's weird that we're conditioned, as, as you guys were saying, we're conditioned to that kind of lifestyle.

Gemma: But I'm getting now—

Amy: takes on your body Like, I, I think that is completely underestimated and just expected of you. And I was so shocked, like, when I gave birth. I, I think that I had— I was in trauma after that because I was just so shocked at what it took. I, yeah, I couldn't believe it.

Grace: And, and I can only—

Amy: everyone's so different, their storeys are so different. And honestly, like, the, the positives to this is that most of my friends like had really positive experiences and really happy with the way that everything went. So I don't want, I don't want to like fearmonger or anything like that, but I just was in a position where I, I just couldn't believe what it took and was, I think, I think it honestly took me like a couple years to get over. Like I'm at the point now where I'm like, okay, if, if, if we're in a position to do it again, I would do it again. But there was like a year or two where I was like, never again. It was just too traumatic. Yeah.

Gemma: I'm in this strange position now where it's like, Chris— Chris is so good with children and he's always wanted children. And he has always said, like, he— we've been together for almost 9 years now. So he has said from day one, I would love to be a stay-at-home dad. But now we're in this funny position where people are like, oh, well, how wonderful that he doesn't have to do that because you work from home, so you, you can just, you can just do it. Oh, how perfect! Just, it's that easy.

Amy: Anyone, honestly, anyone who says that you can work from home and look after kids hasn't had kids. It's not like a week, and I like, I fell for him.

Gemma: It was, uh, it's hard.

Grace: I can't imagine.

Amy: Yeah, no, you You can't. And when I was looking after Bodhi, I could have fit in maybe 15 minutes of work.

Breana: Sorry, I have Joshua Jansen here behind me hovering, and I feel quite bad that I'm still talking, but I'm going to give this back to you.

Grace: Now, who's Joshua Jansen?

Gemma: But I would love to see 3D Jill. This is—

Breana: oh, you know, Tommy's there.

Grace: I did love this.

Breana: I love you guys. This was a great chat.

Gemma: This was a really nice— female time, wasn't it?

Breana: It was, it was very nice.

Amy: Female-centric.

Grace: Yeah, maybe we do that more.

Gemma: I actually forgot that we were like on a thing for a time.

Grace: I, I thought we were just chatting as well.

Breana: Yeah, it was very nice.

Grace: Beautiful.

Gemma: Yeah, it was really nice. I love you all.

Amy: My choice has been made.

Breana: You guys were amazing.

Gemma: Oh, thank you, baby boy.

Breana: Can you show me how to run the back?

Grace: That's nice.