Advice on relationships & dating.

Should you wait until the perfect moment to start a creative project?

If you're waiting to start something, just do it—the journey and the ride are wild, and much of what you create comes from being open to seeing what happens combined with sticking at it consistently.

How can you catch yourself lying in daily life?

Try using the filter of actively asking yourself 'am I lying right now?' in moments of communication to notice where lying is a first go-to response.

How should you handle feeling low or struggling emotionally?

Sometimes the best approach isn't to problem-solve immediately but to just sit in the feeling for a bit, and finding presence with a partner (not overthinking) can be cathartic.

How can you ensure you get the engagement ring you actually want?

Create a Pinterest board of exactly what you want (cut, band style, stone details) so a partner has clear reference, and consider having the ring custom designed once the diamond is sourced.

Should you send digital wedding invitations to save money?

Tommy suggests that sending only a digital/photo invite (rather than a printed card) can save significant money across many guests, but warns it carries a real risk of miscommunication, as one of his friends misunderstood the event entirely.

Should wedding guests feel obligated to give a gift matching the cost of their attendance?

Tommy argues you can't expect gifts from guests and shouldn't judge people who don't give one — the point of inviting someone is to have them there, not to profit from their attendance.

How can couples keep track of whether their relationship is balanced across different areas?

Use a 1-to-10 scorecard covering categories like finance, respect and sex; as long as scores are spread out reasonably across the board (not multiple simultaneous lows), the relationship is considered healthy.

How can couples avoid constant nagging about small issues?

Batch concerns into a scheduled check-in ("bitch batching") rather than raising complaints continuously as they arise.

How can partners manage differing emotional capacity day to day?

Communicate your emotional state ahead of time using a 'percentage feeling' approach so your partner understands your capacity, rather than assuming they already know.

How can couples address ongoing sources of friction, like meal planning on busy days?

Each partner writes a list of things currently causing discomfort or anxiety, then compares lists together and makes small concrete changes (e.g., planning breakfast/lunch ahead on busy days) so both people are aware of the fix.

What's proper etiquette after staying over at someone's place following a date?

Always send a message thanking the person for having you over, even if it's just a quick text the next day.

How do you make a romantic gesture feel genuine rather than performative?

Do thoughtful things like chores, buying flowers, or planning dinners without mentioning it or being asked — doing it only after being asked makes it look reactive rather than genuine.

Should you wait for the 'perfect' version of a romantic gesture (like nicer flowers) before doing it?

Don't wait for better flowers or a more ideal moment — just do the gesture now; quality matters less than actually following through.

How can parents stop kids from treating gift-givers as 'dealers' rather than building reciprocal relationships?

Josh suggests having the child create something in return (like a drawing) to give back to the gift-giver, so the relationship feels like it goes both ways rather than being one-directional.

How should you set up audio/video for a video date?

Tommy advises Jess to use an external microphone rather than computer audio even on a casual video date, suggesting she could take it to another room so it's out of frame but still improves sound quality.

What's a good icebreaker question for a first video date?

Jess and Josh suggest starting with 'show me your dog' (or 'puppy') as an easy, slightly cheeky icebreaker to get the conversation going.

How do you come across authentically in a high-pressure audition or interview?

Garrick says he stopped trying to guess what casting wanted and instead talked to the panel as if speaking to a mate, reasoning that an over-the-top or fake persona would be seen through immediately, and accepted that if it wasn't good enough, that was okay too.

How should friends/family support someone struggling, without enabling self-pity?

Balance empathy with tough love — care about what someone is going through, but don't let sympathy slide into enabling them to feel sorry for themselves indefinitely.

How do you build chemistry with a co-host?

Put in as much effort off-air as on-air — go out, have drinks, have real conversations — because genuine friendship underpins on-air chemistry.

How do you handle personal boundaries with colleagues who are also close friends?

Keep a mental distinction between the employment relationship and the friendship, and avoid asking colleagues about deeply personal matters (like their sex life) even if you're curious, especially as a growing business adds more people.

How do you keep romance alive in a long-term relationship?

Being romantic in the early days of a relationship is easy; the challenge is sustaining it once living together and daily routine make things feel normal — you have to 'dig deep' and keep making the effort rather than relying on the novelty of new love.

What actually makes a gesture feel romantic?

Romance comes down to thoughtfulness and selflessness — doing something your partner would love, even if it's not something you personally enjoy, and putting their preferences ahead of your own.

Should you try to plan big surprises for your partner?

If you're bad at keeping surprises secret, it may be better to just be upfront with your partner rather than attempting elaborate surprises that you'll likely spoil anyway.

What's an easy way to be romantic without a big gesture?

Small, practical acts — getting someone a coffee unprompted, handling car maintenance or errands they've mentioned, booking a dinner — can be just as romantic as grand gestures, especially when done without being asked.

How do you keep a long-distance relationship fresh?

Focus on communication, learn your partner's 'language of love', keep up regular contact in whatever form works for you both, and create things to look forward to in order to keep things exciting.

How should a young producer navigate difficult conversations with hosts?

Build trust and relationships over time, ask people how they want to be communicated with (direct vs. a walk-and-talk conversation), and earn the standing to give feedback by being consistently valuable first.

How do you decide when to cut someone out of your life?

Either have a direct conversation and tell them clearly that the friendship is over, or let people quietly fade out if the situation isn't severe; prioritize surrounding yourself with people who support you because life is too short for time-wasters.

How should you answer the 'which celebrity do you find most attractive' question from a new partner?

Josh advises that when asked which celebrity you find most attractive by a new partner, you should name someone who looks closest to your partner, because naming someone who looks nothing like them is a trap that gets you in trouble.

Should you share old intimate content with a new partner to build intimacy?

Tommy argues that sending a pre-made piece of content (like an old 40-minute clip about sex) isn't the same as genuine transparency; real depth and connection come from direct conversation over time, and there's no need to rush things just because content exists.

Should you give friends relationship advice?

Gemma (labelled George Martin) says she avoids giving relationship advice unless someone is being hurt physically or emotionally, because comparing one relationship to another is dangerous and most everyday dating decisions are redundant to advise on.

What are good first-date or get-to-know-you questions?

Ask about siblings, what parents do for work, where someone grew up, how they got their name, and their nicknames rather than relying on cliché or overly formulaic questions; let curiosity drive natural conversation.

What's good advice for texting or talking on a first date?

Avoid answering every question straightforwardly; add a joke or some lightness instead of turning the conversation into a flat Q&A, which keeps things fun rather than stale.

What shouldn't you say or do on a first date?

Don't point out the obvious (like someone's accent) and don't comment on a date's looks the first time you meet them; keep the focus on their personality rather than surface-level observations.

How can you improve your banter/conversation skills with someone?

Josh suggests preparing engaging, curiosity-driven questions (e.g., about favourite cuisine, childhood memories, pencil cases, best friends) and even scrolling through a person's Instagram or LinkedIn beforehand to find genuine talking points and conversation openers.

Is researching someone's social media before talking to them a good idea?

Tommy argues against using social media research to pre-plan conversation, saying it's better to just listen, respond naturally, and let information about a person emerge organically through talking rather than digging it up beforehand.

What's a quick icebreaker-style banter question to ask someone?

Josh offers off-the-cuff examples such as 'If you had $100 to spend at Officeworks, what would you buy?' and 'What's the last thing you thought about before you went to sleep last night?' as curiosity-driven banter starters.

How do you make a long-distance relationship work?

Use the distance to build anticipation and trust through regular phone calls, find small reasons to reach out and start conversations, and treat the time apart as a way to strengthen the relationship before being in the same city full-time.

How can couples deal with recurring small annoyances in a relationship?

Mason Lauder describes Tim Ferriss's approach of setting aside a specific day each week to discuss things that have annoyed each partner, rather than letting grievances build up unaddressed.

How should you handle feeling guilty or 'lying' by omission in a relationship?

Tommy suggests that leaving things out can feel like it's not lying, but you eventually have to recognise when you've justified smoothing over a situation with a non-truth, and that unresolved guilt tends to surface in other ways.

What's the best way to organise group plans with friends to avoid conflict?

Gemma concludes that in future she'll send an actual calendar invite rather than relying on a group chat that can fizzle out ambiguously.

How should you send event invitations to make sure people actually RSVP?

Use a digital RSVP link or platform rather than sending a JPEG invite through iMessage, since people often don't read image invites properly and manual RSVP tracking becomes a hassle.

How should you handle a messy divorce or dispute to avoid financial and emotional damage?

Josh says he's told his partner Bree that if their relationship ever ended, he'd rather just settle quickly and give up whatever is asked rather than go through costly legal admin and conflict.

How can I practice more openness and honesty in my relationship?

Make a personal rule to talk to your partner about whatever is on your mind rather than withholding it, treating openness like a muscle that needs exercising rather than something to suppress out of fear of their reaction.

Do I need to share literally every thought with my partner to be 'open'?

No — openness isn't about verbalising every random or dark passing thought (the 'random shit' that flies through your head); it's about not habitually withholding the things you'd normally keep back when they matter.

Is the 'engagement ring should cost two months salary' rule worth following?

Matt D'Avella dismisses this as fabricated marketing nonsense, likely invented by the diamond industry, and says he didn't budget his ring purchase around his income.

Should you rely on alcohol to cope with stress or complex problems?

Tommy argues that using alcohol to numb feelings during stressful problem-solving periods is only a temporary fix, not a real solution, and that if you can't control the urge to drink while sober, it becomes twice as hard once you've 'solved' a problem by drinking.

How do you build a strong working relationship with a radio co-host or close colleague?

Meet one-on-one regularly (Jase and Paige did coffee once a week) specifically to address what has bothered each person that week, resolving issues immediately rather than letting resentment accumulate over months.

How should couples decide on where to live when house hunting?

Tommy suggests sometimes the most helpful thing a partner can do is step back and let the other person make the decision, rather than getting involved and finding flaws just because effort was put in by someone else.

Should couples combine their finances, and when?

Merging finances can resolve recurring disagreements over spending (e.g., travel costs) by putting money together and tackling debt or savings goals jointly rather than arguing over individual spending each time.

How should couples handle jealousy over a partner's exes without damaging other relationships?

Work out together what feels supportive and safe for both partners, but be careful that protecting those feelings doesn't end up unnecessarily cutting other people out of your life or dividing friendships along gender lines.

How do you deal with awkward social situations?

Recognise that you can choose not to feel anxious or awkward about a situation and can set the tone yourself rather than passively absorbing the discomfort around you.

When should you set up the next date with someone you're interested in?

Set the next date while wrapping up the current date, rather than waiting to follow up afterward.

Is there one right way to approach dating without overthinking it?

Try different approaches to dating because a 'don't overthink it' strategy doesn't work for everyone; some people need to try several methods before finding what suits them.

I feel disengaged or like my vote doesn't matter — what should I do?

Take a small action regardless of how overwhelmed you feel: use a tool like ABC's Vote Compass to clarify which party matches your values, talk to people about issues that frustrate them and ask what they're doing about it, donate small amounts to advocacy groups like GetUp, and actually use your vote.

How should someone approach dating if they're not sure what they want?

Focus on identifying your values (kind, funny, etc.) rather than a 'type,' use dating to learn about yourself and what you need, and don't take early dates too seriously as needing to lead to a relationship — use the experience for your own growth and development.

Should you delete photos of an ex after a breakup?

Tommy suggests doing a 'bulk delete' of an ex's photos is something people often do early in a relationship or right after a breakup to mark a clean break, though once married there's no real erasing given shared history and cloud storage.

How should you respond when someone (e.g. a partner) brings you a problem?

Recognize that people often just want to vent and be listened to rather than have the problem immediately solved; jumping to 'fix it' mode can backfire and make the other person feel unheard.

How should I treat customers to build long-term loyalty?

Be genuinely good to people rather than performing care to make a sale — charge fairly and run a real business, but build a relationship so customers feel you actually care about their welfare, not just the transaction.

Is it healthy to spend time apart from your spouse?

Tommy says time apart from Amy gave him perspective and that it's good sometimes to have a break, as it helped him recognize patterns in the relationship he hadn't noticed while constantly together.

How can you tell if you're being a people pleaser versus genuinely agreeable?

Josh suggests questioning whether you're being agreeable because you don't actually care, or because you're sacrificing/compromising things you do care about just to please the other person.

How do you stop being overly controlling/directive in a relationship?

Tommy advises questioning every reactive emotional response to figure out if you genuinely care about the outcome, and trying to be a little more selfless rather than always leading decisions.

Is couples counselling worth it?

Tommy says it helped a lot despite not feeling amazing in the moment, and recommends being willing to sit with discomfort and reflect afterward with your partner.

What happens if resentment builds up in a relationship?

If one person in a relationship holds resentment, the whole relationship becomes locked in that resentment, even if the resentment seems small or the other person has moved on.

How do you know if a triggered thought or reaction is valid before confronting your partner?

Ask yourself why you're having the thought right now, whether you have real evidence or just hurt feelings/fear, and consider leading with your fear rather than accusations, since stated-as-fact certainty is usually wrong.

How do you make a big joint decision (like buying land/building a house) without resentment building between partners?

If one partner isn't ready to commit, let the other make the decision independently rather than being convinced into it, so there's no sense of obligation; genuine enthusiasm can follow once you're not forced into agreement.

How can you handle frustrating service mistakes (like wrong orders) without losing your temper?

Tommy suggests reframing the moment as a win by choosing not to react with anger, acknowledging the instinct to 'blow up' but practicing perspective instead.

How should couples handle differing comfort levels with confrontation (e.g. one wants to speak up, the other avoids it)?

Amy suggests communicating what you actually prioritize — for her, keeping the mood pleasant matters more than getting exactly what she ordered — so partners understand the real motivation behind not speaking up rather than assuming it's just passivity.

How should couples divide 'provider' and caregiving roles without one partner dominating the relationship?

Tommy warns against using provider status as an 'easy grab at power' in a relationship, noting that because Amy earns close to what he pays himself, they are treating the relationship as a genuine team rather than falling into rigid gendered roles.

How should I think about my relationship with money?

Reflect honestly on whether your attitude toward money is healthy or just a story you're telling yourself, rather than assuming your spending habits are fine just because you get through them.

Should I borrow money to pursue an opportunity I believe in?

If you believe in an opportunity and the potential return justifies it, it can make sense to borrow money (e.g. $10,000) to pursue it rather than let lack of funds be an excuse.

Is telling people to 'just borrow money and go for it' good advice?

That kind of advice mostly applies to people who will act on it anyway; people who are seriously doubting the decision are probably not suited to take that risk and may need another solution.

Should you overthink the practical logistics of a wedding before committing to get married?

Don't get bogged down early in logistics like guest lists and seating; focus on the engagement and commitment first, since you can be engaged for a long time before dealing with wedding planning.

How can couples speed up small everyday decisions like what to eat?

Instead of asking an open question like 'what do you want to eat?', suggest a specific option ('guess what I think we should have?') so your partner can simply agree, fast-tracking the decision.