Burns On Burns

Josh: The Daily Talk Show. It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 740.

Tommy: What's happening, guys? What is going on? Whoa, Monday. How are we feeling?

Josh: Different vibe. So, um, for people who aren't watching video, uh, the classic podcasters, right now, uh, I am in the studio And I've got to say, my backdrop is a real downgrade from what I had at home.

Tommy: Your back has already gone from being in the studio for some reason. There is a lot of back problems that come with being at the office.

Josh: Oh, definitely. No, so yeah, I'm using your chairs, which you love. It's one of those things I feel like someone that's— you're someone who's gotten, say, a couch or some sort of furniture, and you have a higher perceived value on it than what the rest of the office does.

Tommy: Oh no, it's like the, um, it's like the person who's had just a, you know, a little Mazda and you've got a Ferrari and you're just like turning your nose up at the Mazda because your chair is the Ferrari according to you. It's the best thing on since sliced bread. And to be fair, it is really good. It's like I sat in your Ferrari and I appreciated your Ferrari, but these chairs I bought $50 each. I bought a stack of them for the office ages ago. Nah, it's— my back has never been worse in my life. I just feel like I'm fucking— I feel old, dude. I ate 5 souvlakis last week. No, not souvlakis, kebabs. One was a shawarma. You know, I've been drinking too much. I feel like I'm— and then my back on top of that is sore. I've now had to resort to using a pillow to sort of, you know, squish it at my lumbar. Do you have one of those pregnancy pillows? Mate, I need a catheter. Fuck this. I don't want to do anything.

Josh: You need an epidural and you need a pregnancy pillow. You need to relax.

Tommy: Mate, I need a Xanax and a glass of red. No, that's not nice. How is it? How's it feel, Josh, to be back in the studio? Yesterday was our 100th remote show, so technically you did 100 and then you're back in the studio.

Josh: Yeah, which I feel like the question is, how does Georgie boy feel? Because I feel like I'm on his turf. How are you feeling, GB?

George: Yeah, look, not too bad. My biggest worry is how I'm going to get my hump day stuff done with you in here.

Tommy: Oh, just over, you know, backseat editing.

George: What do you mean?

Tommy: Like, just you want it to be a surprise or you want it to be What is it? What is it?

George: It's a bit easier to turn on the acting when no one's around, but now Josh is going to be judging me.

Josh: I'm not a judgmental guy, but I know I will. He's already talking about taking over the little storage area we have in the garage. He wants to make that his voiceover booth. He does a few Hyundai replays and he thinks he fucking owns the joint. Like, that's outright— that's like It's like the kid that's been— that's had a room with the sibling, and then all of a sudden he's hit— Georgie boy's just hit puberty, and all of a sudden he wants a bit of privacy. Yeah, pretty much.

Mason: So funny.

Josh: It's so true too.

Tommy: There is a point you're just like, it is the worst thing to be sleeping in a room with somebody else that's, that's not your partner.

Josh: Like, it's—

Tommy: you just want your own. Technically, you just want to masturbate by yourself and not have to worry. Hey, question on not masturbation but on privacy at your own home, like for you guys, do you lock the door when you go to the toilet?

George: No.

Mason: No.

Josh: Yeah, yes. Yeah. Do you really?

Mason: Yeah, you do?

George: Definitely.

Josh: Yeah, yeah. Are you sure? I lock the door, like if in the office I'm always locking the door. Yeah, I just feel like it's the nightmare, and we spoke about it on episode 500. Episode 500 at the live show, either Scooter Derek walked in on Designer Blahj or Designer Blahj walked in on Scooter Derek. Scooter, yeah. Taking a dump. And that's a real—

Tommy: Scooter was on the toilet.

Josh: Yeah. And it sort of ruins the vibe. But no, I'm a door locker. But then if when I'm having a shower, I open up like I feel quite claustrophobic. So I'll like open it up to let the steam out and all that sort of thing.

Tommy: Okay. So, you really like when you're doing your business, you're locking the door. But when you're having a shower, you can leave it open.

Josh: If I'm pissing, I'll have the door open to be, but it's more of an issue.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Because even, I don't know if I'm speaking out of school, but Bree does piss with the door open too. And I think that's fine. Well, the old setup, the, with the home office being so close, you could actually, like I had to, apologise to Sev's because he's like, there's like a stream.

Mason: It's you too.

Josh: Yeah, you do.

Mason: Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, when you say you got to go take a piss, you can, you can hear it all. It's loud. Yeah, it's real loud.

Tommy: And, and I know Josh's stream is strong because it really pushes it out. Yeah, yeah, it's, it's a real— I reckon it's a power move, just directly into the water. Like, it's the instruction I give Bodhi because it just means that he'll hit the middle. 'cause he stands now at the toilet and he's peeing in, but I'm like, hit the water. I mean, that's the directive you go with regardless of where you are.

Josh: Yeah. If we've got people over or even like when we're playing Monopoly or whatever and I have to piss, I feel like I piss to a corner just to sort of dampen it.

Mason: Really?

Josh: But why do you bring it up, TJ?

Tommy: I just, because, So we live with Amy's sister and I just had a moment where I locked the door and I was like thinking about it. It's like I'm in my own house locking the door. So just habitually you just do it. It's just such a habit from being out in the public or using any toilets anywhere.

Josh: A habituary?

Tommy: What's a habituary? Sorry—

Josh: Habitual. But isn't habitual something quite funny? Habituary.

Tommy: Habituary, isn't that in the newspaper where you find out if someone's died or not?

Mason: That's the obituary.

Josh: Obituary. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mason: I think that's the obituary.

Josh: Oh no, here you go. The word habituary. Add to your own or improve one of these for the word habituary. What is habituary? Habituary. A published notice of death. Yeah, habituary. How do you say it? Habituary.

Mason: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's obituary.

Tommy: Obituary.

Mason: Obituary. Obituary. Obituary.

Josh: Obituary.

Mason: Silly word.

Tommy: It is a silly word. Do you know my dad was looking in the paper and at the back for some reason was reading the obituary and saw someone he knew who was— who had passed away. And he worked out and he knew through the paper. How crazy is that?

Josh: Well, this is like the whole New York Times thing. I was saying to Happy Harry, was telling me how the New York Times have put all the people who have died of COVID-19 on the front page. Have you seen this?

Tommy: Like a photo of everyone's face?

Josh: No, just like, just a written—

Mason: Like an obituary. Oh, wow.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Wow. But just front page.

Josh: Yeah. But that's why I said to him, like, look, let's be honest, Sharon. It was the only way Sharon, you know, Shaz was going to get her name on the front page was COVID-19. But then the other thing is I straight away went to, but wouldn't you be pissed, you know, to 100,000 people died. It's sort of hard to stand out.

George: What if you're on page 101?

Mason: Slightly annoying.

Tommy: Well, he didn't make it through.

Josh: I'm guessing they don't put all of the names on the single page. Like, do you know Georgie Boy? I haven't heard of this.

George: Okay.

Mason: I think it is. If you take a look at the photo.

Josh: 100,000 names on a single front page.

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: Does it come with a magnifying glass?

George: Alphabetical?

Mason: Is that small?

George: Would be, wouldn't it?

Mason: It's just tiny text. Newspaper's pretty big.

Josh: 100,000. Think about how— think about this. You haven't thought this through. How many words are in a novel?

George: 70,000.

Tommy: 30,000.

Josh: So, what you're saying is they've put a whole novel on a single page. Are you— have you lost your mind?

Mason: If it's— I mean, if it's small, I guess.

Josh: No, no, no, you're completely wrong. Can you look at— can someone look it up? Yeah, I'm doing too many things.

Tommy: New York Times publishers names—

George: no, 10,000 on the list of 1,000.

Tommy: 1,000. Yeah, yeah, there's 1,000. So US deaths near 100,000, but they've post-published 1,000 names. New York Times publishes names of 1,000 lives lost. So not 100,000.

Mason: 100,000, nearly 100,000 deaths.

Tommy: Yeah, yes. Yeah, man, I went out before to get some stuff for the office, just, you know, making it COVID safe. Wow, there's a lot of people out. Like, the amount of the old Italian men just stand loitering at Bullane Plaza. It's like I haven't seen them for months, and the car park was completely full on a Monday morning at 10:30. Ridiculous, really is. Just like vibe is picking up, except for my vibe this morning when I worked out. I woke up— George, we were texting last night at probably like 10 o'clock. Yeah, I think, um, George had a few drinks and, uh, was making some big calls that Michael Jordan documentary is the best documentary ever made. Um, still today in your sober state, what do you feel? Still support?

George: I love it. I love that documentary so much, and I've only through like 5 episodes, but well, for me it's the best one I've ever seen. It's so good.

Tommy: It's a big call.

George: You don't even have to know anything about basketball or enjoy basketball, I think, to like it. It's like, yeah, well, I actually tried to message you this morning.

Tommy: I tried to message you this morning, George. No go. Phone wasn't loading. Then I tried to call. No, no, it wasn't your phone. It was my phone. My phone had been cut off by Telstra. Dog move. Absolute dog move.

Josh: So why was it, why was it cut off?

Tommy: Well, I didn't pay my bill, uh, so complicated. No, but they actually said— so I took it to— I went to Shoppo. Interesting experience. Like, more people there now, but God, it's like lines everywhere to get into places with masks on, and it's full-on. The experience at the Telstra store was like— it's almost like a nightclub. You had to go up to the rope and they'd be like, what do you need? And then they— I said, I need help. And they said, okay, come in. And then I sat down on this little booth where there's a screen between us. So the plastic screen and there's hand sanitizer and had to run through what had happened with this young lady. And anyway, they needed to credit my account months and months ago, um, which would have wiped a huge charge off my bill, which was— I just needed to quote a number, but I couldn't call them. So anyway, I'd held off and just been paying the amount that I need to each month, but it meant that there was an outstanding $280 every single month that wasn't going. And then they just cut me off.

Josh: Did they tell you like what sort of messages? Because I get the, uh, this is Telstra with an important call for Joshua Jansen. Oh yeah, I've forgotten.

Tommy: No, look, didn't get messages. Ridiculous. Like it says on my bill, overdue. But I tried to troubleshoot this with Russ Keys, but no go. No go. But anyway, fixed it up, done. The thing about the screens that— this happened at the Telstra place and also Dan Murphy's, Uncle Dan's, when I was getting some beers last week. Uh, they have— so all the places have got the perspex, the, the plastic, and you know, you see the footage of gyms where they've got it between treadmills and it's like next level kind of like segregating people from each other. And at the bottle shop, I was talking to the guy. I found myself, I was, my head was wrapped around the plastic, like where I could hear him. And I just said, oh fuck, sorry, so sorry, mate. Just defeats the purpose of this plastic. But he's like, yeah, don't worry, everyone's doing it. You can't hear through the fucking things. And the guy, Dan Murphy, said, mate, during the day it was so busy, everyone was putting their head around the side just talking to me.

Josh: Outrageous. Do they need little hole things they need to put No, but then you can't.

Tommy: That's the— I thought that the whole, the whole, the problem with the hole, you— I, I guess you could go holes with like fabric.

Josh: They bought about holes that are lower than where they're actually talking, so you're getting the audio going through, you know, like the train stations at like, um, and off— this is in Australia too. I've caught more trains overseas, but like, you know, overseas where it's like you're talking through the the booth thing.

Tommy: Yes, and it amplifies your voice to each side. That's a good point, but that's just expensive. These are all just like, we need to keep trading, we need to bring this in. But it's the weirdest thing. What I did notice though, when I was speaking to the girl at Telstra, I did realise how you like, how easy it is. Like, I spat onto the glass, like not on purpose, but I was just talking and I just saw something hit the glass and I was like, Fuck, I mean, that is the problem, right? When you're talking like a gronk. Yeah, that would have hit her.

Josh: I mean, the funny thing about that, oh God, there's heaps of gronks out and about. It's that like, you aren't stuck in traffic, you are traffic. Like, isn't it funny how when we are somewhere, we're like, fuck, look at all these people out, this is bullshit. Like, they should be inside, but we're walking around the park being like, this is absolutely bullshit.

Tommy: Oh yeah, yeah, look at these. Absolutely everyone's thinking the same thing too. Yeah, it's, it's funny.

Josh: Um, talking about amplification of voices, um, over the weekend we brought it—

George: great segue—

Josh: much, uh, megaphone chat. I've left it on. I wonder if it's still got battery.

Mason: But what else?

Josh: Yeah, it happens. Um, but what I was thinking because I've used it since being in the office. But what I was thinking is, because I am, uh, in the office— Georgie boy, so I'm just coming to you, uh, I feel like we should pass this megaphone on to Georgie boy to do today's read.

George: Is it, um— oh great, sterilized?

Josh: No, so you're gonna have to get a little bit of, um, of the hand sanding and just do a bit of a little rub job, I reckon.

Mason: Rub job.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: So I'm passing on the beard.

Mason: Are we getting a live rub job?

Tommy: Yeah, guys, I've got—

Josh: no, I'm sorry, Seb's right.

Mason: What?

Josh: I don't know, a rub job.

Tommy: That beard of his, that beard of his has made him really toxic.

Josh: Yeah, that rub job. What's happened to you?

Mason: What do you mean?

Tommy: Dude, it's the beard.

Josh: Are you going? You texted me saying that you might be on Jason PJ. Is that happening?

Mason: Yeah, potentially.

Josh: And so what's the deal?

Mason: It's, they're doing a segment on couples that haven't met before.

Josh: And so, how many people have they got?

Mason: 2.

Josh: One of the chicks is from Perth and they're sevs. He's never met the other person. And so what's the, when are you recording that or when's that going out?

Mason: Not sure when it's going out. I haven't heard any more details, but I think it might be tomorrow or something.

Josh: Okay. Are you nervous?

Tommy: I mean, this is you.

Mason: A little bit, yeah. No, I am a little bit.

Josh: What are you gonna say? Have you spoken to, I feel like it's one of those things you've gotta bring up with your partner before you do it. Have you brought it up with Grace?

Mason: Yeah, she's pumped.

Josh: Is she going on as well?

Tommy: We love Grace.

Mason: I don't, I don't think so, no, but she's, she's very excited for me to go and she's like, surely you're gonna do it? And I was like, yeah.

Tommy: Um, Siv, I know, I know, I don't want to sort of critique how you may come across, but okay, don't go, don't go AFL player on the boundary line. Like, don't go that sort of like, they ask me, just go real kind of You know how I felt, like it's all just above board, like it's like, yeah, it's good play, you know, uh, thanks to the team. Like, I just feel— I'm just, I'm just worried that the nerves will get you and you'll be like, you know, I was just leaning in. It's, uh, so what should we do?

Josh: What it— like, if we were to sort of troubleshoot it so that he doesn't fuck it up?

Tommy: It's media training for him, right? It's like I don't know, like, um, have a few—

Josh: can you say rub job on radio?

Tommy: A few storeys up your sleeve that you like could connect to, um, I don't know, connect to the storey of Grace, like connect to just— what about we do it?

Josh: Why don't you be, you be, um, Jase, I'll be PJ, and let's run it through All right, uh, right now. Okay, and, um, you can start. Yeah, wait, hang on, wait, are you PJ? Who's, who's, who are you?

Mason: No, no, you're PJ.

Tommy: Okay, so you're angry. Jason, you're PJ. Yeah, yeah, yeah, here we go. Uh, it's Kiss 101, Jason PJ back for you this morning. Got a good run in on the tulla.

Josh: Uh, PJ, this is a good one. Now we have— we just spoke earlier before the song about this, uh, partners who have never met each other. Now I thought that there wasn't a thing, but, um, it turns out Paris was telling us about, uh, one of our mates. Paris? Oh yep, yeah, Paris. You were saying that Mr. 97 from the Daily Talk Show has never met his partner.

George: Yeah, and this whole thing in isolation, it's like it's bringing people together. So I'm super pumped to let you guys speak to him because we love Mr. 97 and we love his girlfriend.

Josh: Thanks, thanks, Paris. And so—

Tommy: Hang on, hang on. PJ, is it just us or is the producing team just in love with those Daily Talk Show boys.

Josh: It's always going on like, Harris, what are you doing?

Tommy: Why are you speaking to Franco? Hang on.

Josh: All right, Franco, what are you doing? Franco's on a Friday night drinks with him right now. It's not on. Okay, that's all right.

Tommy: Let's get him.

Josh: We've got him on the phone.

Tommy: Yeah, let's throw to him. I'll bring him up there. Yeah, what would you say?

Josh: No, that's what you would say. I was sort of, I was bringing him in, but that's your job.

Tommy: All right, we've got Young Mason on the line. Welcome to the show, Mason. Tell us, mate, you haven't met your partner. What is with that? What is with that?

Mason: Yeah, well, no, so I mean, do I go in with the podcast?

Josh: This is what I'm—

George: Josh will be disappointed today.

Tommy: I'm sure there'll be a better question.

Mason: Well, I can also—

Josh: You'll probably speak to Paris beforehand. You should be like, okay, so don't mention the podcast. Okay, great.

Mason: You've really doubled down on it. It's all good.

Josh: Don't talk. We're trying to work this thing out, so don't— just play it through and then we can critique it at the end.

Mason: We can go. Okay.

Tommy: All right.

Mason: Well, yeah. Okay. So yeah, well, I met, I met this girl in Perth called Grace.

Josh: Why are you laughing at that? It's a bit stinky. There's something about I met this girl.

George: What about—

Josh: No, keep it going.

Mason: Keep it up.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: It's good practice.

Mason: Good practice. Yeah, well, no, so I—

Josh: can you turn your mic down a little bit? Um, TJ, can you reset? Can you ask him a question again? Because I think it's a bit too loud.

Tommy: So Mason, tell us, did you ever think that you would meet somebody in isolation and be, you know, next minute dating them?

Mason: Oh no, definitely not. I, I mean, I've— we've done a few dating things on the show before, but we've never— I mean, I've, I've never thought that I would actually find someone in isolation especially. But yeah, it's, it's, it's pretty awesome that, you know, just through a couple of FaceTimes and that sort of thing, we've actually, you know, started to build a relationship.

Josh: So 2 FaceTimes and you, um, started dating?

Mason: It's a couple more than that. I mean, you just— we started with just a, just a normal phone call and then just FaceTimed probably like every, every second day, uh, for a little bit, and then it sort of became a thing.

Tommy: And so, uh, Mason, you've got plans of seeing each other, or is it just going to continue? How long will it continue over the phone isolation?

Mason: Oh, it's— I mean, it's pretty exciting. Uh, she's, she's going to come to Melbourne, uh, pretty soon, hopefully in the next like month and a bit. So We'll get to catch up and see each other then.

Josh: So how often are you talking then?

Mason: Every day. Multiple, multiple times a day, just on message and then on FaceTime at nighttime as well.

Tommy: I mean, call me old-fashioned, but do you need to see somebody before you actually can work out whether you're suitable for each other, or can you do it over the phone?

Josh: Are you girlfriend and boyfriend? Do you call yourselves that?

George: That?

Josh: You're in a full-blown relationship?

Mason: Yeah, we're in a relationship. Yeah, I mean, I don't think you need to. I think we've done it. So, I mean, it's quite nice. It'll be nice to have that sort of, you know, meeting each other in person, the, you know, being able to kiss and hug each other. But yeah, it's actually— I think it's a pretty good place to actually start building a relationship because, you know, you're talking all the time.

Tommy: So And what's the one thing you're most nervous about, Mason?

Mason: Uh, I mean, surprisingly, it's not— it's not meeting her for the first time. I think that'll be super exciting. Um, what am I nervous—

Josh: the blinds?

Mason: I don't know, I guess the blinds people. Yeah, no, they're coming, it's all good.

George: Um, Getting a coffee order right.

Mason: Yeah, that's, that's probably a good one. Um, what am I nervous about?

George: Paris Hilton.

Tommy: Britney Spears is just playing. I think we lost Mason.

Josh: Lovely.

Tommy: No, I love it.

Josh: You can't like— so I guess, yeah, you've just got to give answers. You can't really, um It's not like the Four Seasons condoms video where you sort of have these long-winded 10-second pauses. Like, it needs to be real quick and snappy.

Tommy: An hour cut to 3 minutes. It's, uh, no, I'm sure they'll ask better questions, and I do a horrible job of trying to impersonate Jase. Cannot do it.

George: Yeah, slightly.

Josh: Sure, he'd do a good run of us.

Tommy: Yeah, I reckon he'd do a good run of us.

Josh: Yeah, you do.

Tommy: I think you do good PJ. That was good.

Josh: I really—

Tommy: and I feel like I did a great Paris. A great Paris.

Josh: I don't know. I think he spoke too much, to be honest. Yeah, but that's okay.

George: He did well, Seb. I'm nervous for you, but you'll be great.

Josh: Yeah, thanks, mate. No, there is something— I reckon something about the whole radio thing and being on the phone. I feel like so many times, because radio shows will want something specifically out of you, and so If you even think, TJ, when you spoke with Fordo, how you sort of, yeah, you don't know which direction they want to go in or what sort of what's happening.

Tommy: Yeah, you got to really listen, but then also be able to talk from not the heart, but like actually articulate something that is worthy.

Josh: Because they probably have an angle. I think like that's the interesting thing is they'll probably have a specific angle that they're playing to. And so maybe identifying that.

Tommy: I mean, I'm hoping that somehow they integrate, you know, a car giveaway and Seb walks away with a car to be able to pick up from the airport.

Josh: That's a good one.

Mason: Nervous about would be, I think, definitely how to get to the airport, you know, how to get to the airport. There you go.

Josh: I think that's great.

Tommy: So I'm into a bunch of stuff here. Just that you haven't run through. It's worth, it's, it's worth just writing out a couple of things that are interesting, like, okay, yeah, just so if they go personal, do you reckon they'll go personal?

Josh: Like if they go, so, you know, have you ever sent nudes? What are you going to say, say to that? You say no. Okay, you sext?

Mason: I haven't sent nudes. Sex.

Josh: No, you're really going to say no?

Tommy: I mean, say something like, I don't know, you don't, you know, you don't—

George: I say just, they won't ask that.

Tommy: Yeah, I don't know.

Mason: No, I don't think they'll ask.

George: Maybe it's more Kyle and Jackie.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, that's true. Um, so, uh, Georgie Boy's Disinfected disinfected the— disinfected? Disinfected.

Mason: Yeah, you nailed it the first time.

Tommy: Either one will do the job.

Josh: And so have you got the right read there? Let me have a look. Yeah, yeah, great. And so, Georgie boy, you're going to manage this whole thing. This is coming off the back of Lee's generous $150. Yeah, where he said he wants to pay it forward. We have worked out who we want to pay the megaphone sponsorship forward next, and here it is.

George: I actually don't know, it doesn't say. It's—

Mason: so it's from Belinda.

Josh: He showed me the writing that he was going to read. It doesn't say a name, it's on the subject. Okay, all right, that's fine.

Tommy: He's got it.

George: How do I do this?

Josh: Is it just You want to turn it on?

George: Turn it on. On.

Josh: Yeah, great. Yeah, great. Now into the mic.

Tommy: Oh yes, okay.

Mason: Yes.

George: Thank you for paying it forward, Lee Ryan. This new sponsorship is from Belinda Wall. Caring Through COVID is a way to say thanks to the nurses, doctors, health and aged care professionals emergency service workers, teachers, childcare legends, and supermarket superstars. Say thanks to those on the front line by sending them a #CaringThroughCOVID t-shirt. Buy a t-shirt at caringthroughcovid.com.au. That's through, T-H-R-U. Thank you.

Josh: Well, the, the thank you at the end there was spot on to a guy who it sounds like you've done a lot of megaphone action or That's my first time on a microphone. It does.

Mason: You definitely beat the athletics guy.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, you're good at reading out, like reading stuff that you haven't read before out loud on a microphone.

George: I'm surprised at how well that works, to be honest.

Josh: We are too. Maybe you could fill in for Sev's with the holy moly.

Tommy: So yeah, no, so, um, well, no, but hang on. Can you get— you need to— if they don't want to put the daily talk show bit in, maybe they will, but Seb's— can you try and sort of get that through, get the daily talk show or some kind of— I think it might make sure you just bring it back.

Mason: I think it has to do because that's, that's how I met Grace.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: How are you going to bring that up? So you're going to say a listener—

Tommy: how do you say, how do you say it, um, for people that have no idea about what you do or who you are?

Josh: A fan of mine?

Mason: You sound like—

Josh: is it Djokovic or whatever who came out and said that— who's the Aussie? The Aussie tennis player?

Tommy: Kyrios.

Josh: Kyrios. Yeah, I think he says that he has sex with at least 4 fans a week. Oof.

Tommy: Is that true?

Josh: Are you sure about this? I reckon— yeah, this is—

Mason: it's probably— you sure it's not Bernard Tomic?

Josh: Oh yeah, could be.

George: Kurios was drunk on, um, Instagram Live recently. Did you see anything?

Josh: Yeah, uh, sex with fans.

George: He was talking to Andy Murray, was it good? And he just kept slamming everyone. Oh, it's pretty— I didn't see much of it, but apparently it was pretty bad. Like, I don't know, news.com.au was loving it.

Josh: Um, I really—

Tommy: where have you got this from?

Mason: Okay, so I've just typed in, uh, has sex with fans once a week since split. Nick Kurios.

Tommy: Yeah, Nick Kurios.

Josh: Is that the guy that we said?

Mason: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got it right.

Josh: Yeah. Why did I bring that up?

Tommy: Just one. I don't— one a week, not 4 people a week.

George: We were talking about how he was going to bring in the show into the—

Josh: Oh yeah, the fans.

Mason: Yeah. Like fans. Yeah. Yeah. A fan of mine, you know.

Josh: A fan of mine. Yeah. It does seem a bit off, doesn't it?

Tommy: I do love that you do lean in, Sebbs, and you will give it your best. And I can't wait. To listen to it.

Josh: So did you hear, like, I mean, last week we— was it last week or the week before we had Michelle and Zara on? This week on their podcast they did a whole segment on OnlyFans.

Tommy: Yeah, well, um, I did predict it, didn't I? Call me Gary Vee, call me the Oracle, call me whatever you like, but I predicted it.

Josh: But interestingly What they were saying is the, the person who's like one of the top people, um, an Australian woman, I believe, she doesn't actually do anything crazy. She's all very like, uh, takes her top off but will cover her breasts so you can't actually see anything. And so she's actually created a bigger audience through teasing than some of sort of the hardcore OnlyFans pages, which I thought was an interesting fact.

Tommy: Yeah, well, it's an all hype channel and you're just waiting for the thing, but it's just hyping every time.

Josh: But does it ever happen? Like, but is it like—

Tommy: that's what they're hoping for. Yeah, I think that's what people are hoping for by following. It's like, one day she'll, she'll slip up and we'll see nips.

Josh: It's the— some people play the long game by doing a podcast, others subscribe to an OnlyFans, I guess.

Tommy: Do you know the name of that person?

Josh: No.

Tommy: And how much they were earning?

Josh: I can't remember. They're making millions apparently. Really?

Tommy: A year?

Josh: A year. Because you can, yeah. It is pretty interesting. So, the moving to the office. What's everyone's thoughts? What do you, do you have any concerns? What are you excited about?

Tommy: Well, my only concern is not having a computer at home to be able to finish off the daily videos that I'd be doing. If I don't finish them by COB, call of business.

Josh: Close of business, yeah.

Tommy: Close of business. Close of business. But then that just forces me to make it happen while I'm at the office. And so, I mean, it's very convenient for me 'cause I drop Bodhi off in the morning and then his daycare's right near the office. I can head in, but I am looking forward to— it is a re-energizement, uh, going remote and then sort of that felt like it was energizing, and then you go back into the office. Are you tired, Josh, or are you feeling energised right now?

Josh: I feel good. I'm excited for it all. Like, it was a bit of a rush getting cable sorted and doing all that sort of stuff, but Happy Harry is here. We didn't have time to get him all set up on a microphone and camera. But, um, he's back in Melbourne. He's going to be, uh, I think spending way more time in Melbourne. So it'd be good to get him in the studio. I think there's one consideration Bri was bringing up is it's like weekend banter. Should we reconsider how we do weekend banter so we're not coming into the office 7 days?

Tommy: So definitely.

Josh: So one option logistics Yeah, like one thought was we could pre-record Weekend Banters but make them bigger or more significant and then premiere them at midday on YouTube so we could have more people involved, get looser, do some crazy shit. Maybe we could even do that. Maybe we could record them in the evenings. So like at the end, like so say on weekdays like say we did a late Thursday, like late Thursday we record one Weekend Banter and a late Friday the other or something. And so then it has that sort of little bit looser vibe. The other question is we have Friday Night Drinks the second Friday of every month. Are we going to do Friday Night Drinks all together in the office?

Tommy: Yes, definitely.

Mason: Oh yeah.

Josh: George isn't sure.

Tommy: Oh, I know.

George: George, wake up.

Josh: Housemates? I mean, you've got great housemates.

George: 20? No, no, no. Just like 20 people in the office.

Tommy: Oh no, that's not what he's saying. No, no, no. He's saying us and then the Gronks. Everyone else is on Zoom, obviously.

Josh: Yeah, because normally we do it remotely. We're all at home. But how do we feel about having, you know, the 4 of us with our microphones and our drinks all sort of, you know, am I drinking together?

George: Yeah, yeah.

Mason: Am I just stumbling home?

Josh: Yeah, I don't know.

Tommy: I mean, getting on the bus.

Josh: Yeah, what's TJ doing? He's drink driving. He can take you.

Tommy: I'm not driving.

Josh: No. So what are we gonna do?

Tommy: Maybe you can take the car. Maybe we can work out how to get home.

Josh: Some sort of car service as a sponsor.

Tommy: Oh yeah, driving home safely or whatever.

Josh: Well, we don't know which brand it's going to be yet.

Mason: Well, one of them.

Josh: Yeah, I prefer not to mention. And so, yeah, anything else in— like, from a rules perspective, when we first moved in to the office, we had a bunch of rules. Uh, there was a kitchen blow-up only weeks, uh, before all the COVID-19 stuff hit.

Tommy: Yeah, that was right.

Josh: What's the, um, what are some of the new rules, do you think?

Tommy: Well, George has been in the office quite a bit, so he— and he's very clean. Like, he's— he, he likes to run a tight ship doing his dishes. So they just have to be done. We just can't leave shit around. No dishes left. Uh, but I'm looking forward to getting Georgie's little booth ready. And he's a little, uh, pumped about that voiceover booth.

Josh: What about—

Tommy: this is exciting.

Josh: Pumped about anything else, George?

George: No, I'm excited for that. I'm excited to, with the Hump Day stuff, like I feel like we can all get more involved.

Tommy: Yeah.

George: Have—

Tommy: Can we?

George: We can all act.

Tommy: I've got no time, George. Oh yeah, that's absolutely no time to—

Josh: With the current setup, it's very hard. I don't know whether I should look directly at George.

George: I'm looking at the camera.

Mason: George is doing that as well.

George: I should look this way, which is away from you.

Josh: Okay. No, interesting. I mean, that's good. Yeah, the dishes thing I think is a big one. I think things like, um, uh, if you're gonna eat tuna, you have to go outside.

Tommy: Tuna's not that bad. Tuna's not that bad. The cooking like a hot meal, if anything, is quite on the nose. Tuna goes pretty quickly.

George: Fat Fridays again.

Josh: Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, definitely.

Tommy: Yep.

Josh: Yeah, that's great.

Tommy: Definitely in the studio. That's what I'm pumped for. I've bought a bunch of products that I'll drop off to the studio after this just so we can get it nice and clean, get that deep clean happening before we all come back in. Hand sanitizer stations, it's all happening.

Josh: And it's something that we all have in common. Uh, so yesterday I was cooking, it was an absolute nightmare to be honest. Like, it was such a shit experience. I said to Bree, I was like, you know what, I'm, uh I'm fucking done with this. Like, because she's like, she was really annoyed because I made like the biggest mess and I was so fucking over the whole experience. I didn't really like— I was delaying cleaning and she ended up cleaning.

Mason: What?

Josh: Um, yeah, what the fuck?

Mason: The funny, the funny thing was that you actually didn't do your second livestream as well.

Josh: Yeah, no, I was just pissed off. The whole thing was just fucked and I couldn't be bothered going. I said I was going to go into Discord, but I was like, I actually can't deal with anyone like commenting on how I'm doing this shit because it's pissing me off. And so, and so, but how's it going with your fingers? Well, yeah, so I burnt my fingers and can you actually see? I'm trying to think which, you can't really see. No, I can't. Yeah, so I burnt my fingers and I know here it is. I'm seeing it's gotten so good now that I actually can't. I can't remember which one, but it was, it's like the top or whatever. But, uh, Sevs, you burnt your arm.

Mason: Oh yeah, I was, I was making, uh, it was like roast gnocchi in the oven and yeah, I was, I was pulling the, um, was it the, the door open to the oven and it, I, I caught, I caught my arm. Hang on. That way. Oh, I caught my arm on the, um—

Tommy: oh yeah, classic—

Mason: on the door, on the top of the door, because I was like pressing against it. And so that was, um, that was stinging for about 2 and a half hours last night.

George: Yeah, dude.

Mason: But the thing—

Tommy: this is hilarious. Sorry, that— so that's like a line burn from— yeah, but I've got that exact thing when I was a, uh— in fact, I should have put through a work safe claim because when I was topless waitering, I had a hot tray of sausage rolls at a hen's night at some house in Essendon. My top was off and I fucking burnt my— I burnt my abs and I just had this line, this burn line.

Mason: Accentuate them a little bit?

Tommy: Absolutely not. It would have needed a full fucking paint job to make it look like I had abs because I didn't have abs. It was just like It was so annoying, but I know, I feel your pain, Sez. I feel your pain.

Josh: It's pretty embarrassing. Like, it's like my mate who fell down the stairs naked. Like, it's a very sort of pathetic thing to happen.

Tommy: It's real pathetic.

Josh: Top off.

Tommy: Serves me right. What an idiot. Yeah, I burnt myself last night making crème brûlées. I put my finger into hot chocolate.

Mason: Oh, did you?

Tommy: Hot sugar that we'd just blown with a torch, a blowtorch. My God, it's so horrible.

Josh: We avoid all of this, isn't it? Mine happened because I tried to pick a piece of garlic off the pan. That was annoying. Like, it's real, it's dumb shit. Um, it is.

Mason: Yeah, I was just grabbing a piece of gnocchi to test. If I just left it, it would have been fine, you know.

Josh: Yeah, it's, it's annoying.

Mason: What do you— because the thing was I got, I got a thing of ice and I stuck it on ice.

Tommy: Yeah, good boy. But you had— good.

Mason: No, but apparently that's not what you're meant to run it underwater because ice is going to burn it a little bit more.

George: Oh, really?

Mason: And JJ, you had a spray that Bri put on.

Josh: Yeah, Bri put a spray on mine, but then I also had my fingers in a glass of water, but it was just that whole thing of trying to then like grate a lemon to get like— it was just the whole experience was so annoying. So, I cooked lamb. So, I burnt the eggplant and ended up with like enough flesh to like not really do anything with it. It was dumb. And then— And then—

Mason: Tastes good?

Josh: I decided to put the other eggplant that I didn't use in the pressure cooker with the lamb on top so it would like render the fat through into the eggplant. But just by the end of it, it was like Bree and I couldn't enjoy it. Like we ate it and we ate it pretty like quickly. It was like, well, that was like, I just, as I was eating, I was like, that's it. Like this is just a complete waste of time. This took, like you look at Gordon Ramsay and you see how like fun and fresh he's got this big kitchen. He's got the He's got the chopping board, his knives are sharp as fuck.

Mason: He's got people cleaning up for him.

Josh: Yeah, it's just like the garlic didn't fall out of his eggplant. Like it was all so clean. No issue.

Mason: Didn't burn his finger.

Josh: Yeah.

Mason: How was the shower? Was it okay in the shower this morning?

George: Yeah.

Josh: Your burn? Yeah, my burn's fine. Why?

Mason: Well, I can't put mine in the shower.

Josh: Well, I couldn't. I double, like, I accidentally then, like, after burning it, was doing stuff with the eggplant and the eggplant, like, the hot eggplant landed directly on the burn. And it's amazing how hot on burn, like, really hurts.

Mason: Burns on burns.

Josh: Yeah, burns on burns.

Tommy: Oh yeah. So absolutely not.

Josh: That was a bit annoying.

Tommy: Uber Eats tonight. Hey, Josh.

Josh: Well, that's— no, do you know the fucked up thing? Bray's like, you You are not leaving me to eat the rest of the lamb. Like, you know, like, which is so funny. Like, I've cooked this dish and we're fighting over who's gonna eat it. It's so annoying.

Tommy: You were so— it just— every mouthful is negativity because of how annoying it was.

Josh: Yeah, it was so annoying. Bree went to the, uh, the Coles that you like. Yeah, she said potentially overhyped. She said it was too small, was her feedback.

Mason: Really?

Tommy: The Glenferry one?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Really?

Josh: Yeah. What more do you need? I guess there was a lot of people, a lot of people, a lot of people.

Tommy: Oh, okay.

Josh: And so, and also they didn't have, they didn't have garlic or something. Like there was a bunch of things missing. So, then she had to go to another, she went to 3 different supermarkets. And you know, yesterday I said you can't get lemon salt. She then brought home lemon salt. You can get lemon salt. It's just not as common.

Tommy: Shanna, Shanna, is it? Shanna came. Yeah, Shanna, that's her local. And she said that got overwhelmed, went to the other one. Yeah. Went to the Woolworths across the road. I get it. I get it. It was a nice, it's a nice experience though. Worth going.

Josh: We got orange juice. Haven't had it yet. Bree just, she bought bread but didn't use the slicer.

Mason: Better than IGA?

George: Oh.

Mason: Can you let me know if it's better than IGA? You want to bring up IGA? I'm sorry, not IGA. Leo's.

Josh: Well, so the thing was that Bree was saying that garlic was $25 a kilo at Coles. At Leo's, it was over $45 a kilo. So she then went to Woolies. Wow. So the problem with Leo's is it's like, The pricing is pretty ridiculous.

Mason: Definitely. I mean, red peppers were like double the price of what they are at Coles.

Josh: Can you say what the, um, the, uh, TJ, can you say the other word for red peppers? I'm just curious. Capsicum. And can you say it, George?

George: Capsicum.

Josh: Yeah, I, I heard somewhere that like Capsicum.

Mason: People call it—

Josh: Yeah, how do you say it?

Mason: They use capsicum. I say—

Josh: I use it with an N. Yeah, it's wrong.

Mason: I use it in Canada.

Tommy: It's absolutely wrong. It's not capsicum.

Mason: Yeah, it's why it's just red pepper.

George: Is red pepper even a kiwi seed?

Tommy: And it's actually bell pepper.

Mason: No, red pepper.

Tommy: They're called bell peppers.

George: What is only American?

Tommy: And then you get red ones, yellow ones, orange ones. So you've got it wrong twice, I'm pretty sure.

Mason: No, there's definitely red peppers. Absolutely a thing.

Josh: Well, yeah, we need to create a vocab like— and it's maybe it's thedailytalkshow.com/ihatethat and it will have duvet. Duvet will be on there.

Mason: The mall.

Josh: Yeah, the mall.

Tommy: The mall, duvet, chicken, schnitzel.

George: No, not the mall. What do you say instead of that?

Josh: No, that's what he says.

Mason: I say the mall.

Josh: Do you say the mall, George?

George: Yeah, I say the mall.

Tommy: The mall? Yes.

George: Yeah.

Josh: Are you trying to be American?

Mason: That's the first Aussie I've heard say the mall.

George: For like a big thing of like a shopping centre?

Josh: Yeah.

George: Yeah. Like Westfield. Yeah. Ah, the mall.

Josh: What, you go to the mall?

George: Yeah, I go to the mall.

Josh: That's a guy that doesn't shop much, I reckon, if you say the mall.

George: No way. I used to go hang out at the mall after school.

Tommy: The mall in Byron, or is that Canberra?

Josh: I could imagine Canberra saying mall. Did you have a Westfield?

George: Yeah, there's a Westfield. Yeah, Westfield Plaza had everything.

Mason: Plaza is very clean.

George: Is that everything?

Tommy: And everything Maccas.

Josh: Yeah. Did you see the, um, did you actually see there's a new Netflix— so Bri and I were going to watch the Michael Jordan doco. And, um, maybe, maybe similar to Pete Shepherd's pushback on, um, Tiger King, I just can't bring myself to watch it. And, um, and so we watched— there's like a new Netflix series, I think it's called History 101. Have you seen this in the recommendations?

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, I saw a trailer for it.

Josh: Yeah. And so there's like the first one is fast food It's quite well done.

Tommy: And they have the Big Mac guy.

Josh: History on fast food. Yeah, that, you know, the Big Mac guy that I said who had like a Big Mac every single day.

George: Oh, so he's alive? Yeah, so yeah, he was.

Josh: Yeah. Well, they just had—

Mason: Is he still alive?

Josh: Is he still alive? And I think he must be, but he was in the film, but they were just talking about all like the series, but just going through all different things. It's— they did one on space.

Mason: The, um, yeah, what do they talk about?

Josh: Do you know how many people have gone to space? Have a guess.

Tommy: To space or to the moon? Just into space.

George: 800?

Mason: Over 100?

Josh: What do you think, TJ?

Tommy: 600?

Josh: I think you guys are pretty close. It's like between 500 and 600. I think it was like 540 or something.

Tommy: It's a lot of people, isn't it? You know, I feel like it's not a lot of people.

Mason: Tom Cruise is going to space? Yeah, yeah, for a movie. They're sending them up to film, to film a movie at the International Space Station.

George: Oh, that's cool.

Josh: Did you know they sent monkeys into space to test it all out to make sure that it was all clear?

Tommy: Monkeys' heads didn't blow up.

Josh: Yeah, isn't that the most outrageous thing that you've ever seen? Like, you see them all getting strapped in, being like, fucking— it's pretty—

Tommy: looks like it's full-on.

Josh: If you're dark on Tiger King, be dark on NASA. That's some fucked up shit.

Mason: It's also Russians as well. They're the ones who did—

Josh: Oh, really? I don't know.

Tommy: How many people have gone stood on the moon? Maybe we don't know because, right, like, there's Russia and stuff might not—

Mason: Okay, I don't think Russia hasn't been to the moon.

Tommy: Russia hasn't? China?

Mason: No, no, no, no.

Josh: The US is the only country. And so I think there was a bunch— I started to go down this, like, I haven't looked into conspiracies or anything, but I was like, um, it was a part of me which is like, is this moon thing— they've really done it? Because it's like, why would you do it so many years ago and then be like, ah, fuck it, don't want to go anymore? I think that's weird.

Tommy: We've spoken about that. Yeah, it's the money thing.

George: It's so—

Tommy: it's so many, so many things at play. 3 countries have— have— only 3 countries have ever soft landed on the moon. China with people and United States. I don't know, is it people or China becomes third country to ever soft land? I don't know what soft land means.

George: This is maybe not get out.

Josh: I don't know, I actually enjoy soft land at the shops and then Bree hard lands. I sort of know I soft land and then she does the, um, the shop walk. It's like a spacewalk. Um, yeah, I mind the ship.

Tommy: You'll notice it's, uh, yeah, anyway.

Mason: Yeah, she's Neil Armstrong just walking on the moon.

Josh: Definitely.

Mason: Was it Buzz Aldrin stayed in the, um, yeah, Buzz stayed in. You're Buzz.

Josh: What do you— I buzz you. What a beautiful— just like, oh mate, nah, I don't feel like it.

Mason: I feel like it.

George: Yeah, I thought there was actually a third person.

Mason: Baby's tum tum is a bit—

Josh: yeah, yeah, I might have I've had some bad Uber Eats. I think I'm going to stay in the spaceship.

Tommy: So, hang on, who's— So, Buzz Aldrin stayed in the spaceship?

Josh: I guess someone's got to do that, right? Someone's got to—

Tommy: He punched a conspiracy theorist. Buzz Aldrin punched a conspiracy theorist.

Mason: No, I think Buzz Aldrin actually stepped on the moon.

George: Yeah, I think it must have been the third one. It was the third one.

Mason: It must have been the other person who stayed in the, um, in the capsule or whatever.

Tommy: You'd be cut.

Josh: So yeah, I feel bad for Buzz that we would just—

Mason: sorry, Buzz. Is he dead?

Josh: Well, if you said that in front of Buzz, he would have punched you in the head.

Mason: Now, someone who passed away— I was about to say Lance Armstrong. Who's the other one?

Tommy: Neil Armstrong.

Mason: Is he dead? He's dead.

George: Is he?

Josh: Oh, let's find out.

Mason: Yeah, 2012. Who died? He's dead.

George: Yeah.

Mason: Neil Armstrong, he's dead.

Tommy: Yeah, Neil.

George: Gotta watch that movie.

Tommy: Not a great— not a great year for Neil.

Mason: 2011.

Josh: Oh, what just happened? There we go.

Mason: Oh, there we go.

Josh: I wonder if, you know, coming to the studio— this is a— this is the factory studio, guys.

Tommy: Classic.

Mason: I can't—

Tommy: like, you guys can't have all the fun. I know I'm gonna pop in, and I'm glad you got the, um, the megaphone there because I want to include it in today's video. Some megaphone action.

Josh: Lovely. Okay. I actually, I do have a 3-shot, so we can actually just fuck him off too, but we won't do that. Any admin?

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: What? Fuck him off is not okay. But you were saying, what were you saying before?

Mason: What, rub down? Is that what you were worried about?

Josh: Rub jobs.

Mason: Rub jobs.

Tommy: Don't worry about it. What's the admin, Seth?

Josh: Yeah, admin.

Mason: Ian, who's from the Netherlands, he left us a review. 5 stars. Amazing show. I've been listening since the start of 2020 and it has been one of my daily go-tos. It's packed with down-to-earth and relatable conversations about day-to-day life and experiences, loads of humour as well, as well as having great guests with so many interesting viewpoints. Listening to the show makes me feel as though I'm hanging out with a couple of my close friends talking about absolutely anything, and this is simply the most enjoyable part. The creators of the show, Tommy and Josh, have done such an amazing, amazing job committing to the podcast and creating a community around it. I cannot give them enough praise. Thanks, Gronks. I definitely recommend this show to any international outside Australia. Being a non-Australian listener makes it all the more refreshing to listen to during these crazy times. More people need to tune into shows like these.

Josh: Ian, thanks.

Tommy: What a nice guy.

Josh: That was lovely.

Tommy: Thanks, Ian.

Josh: Made my evening.

George: You're a legend.

Josh: Um, okay, it's, uh, it's a daily talk show. Let's, uh, let's finish with this. 10 seconds of admin. Take a screen grab right now of you listening to the show, post it on Instagram as a story, and we'll regram it. What a deal.

Tommy: Solid deal.

Mason: Are we pacing?

Josh: Okay, yeah, we can, we can do that for the video. Um, Thanks everyone, we'll, uh, we'll see you tomorrow. Feel free to send us an email to gronks@thedailytalkshow.com if you want to say g'day. And, um, yeah, otherwise enjoy the rest of your day. Bye, see you guys.