Comedy, Pranks & Banter
127 episodes · 2018–2021 · 49 debates · 50 pieces of advice · 165 stories · 133 quotes
The Daily Talk Show — Australia’s daily podcast, hosted by Tommy Jackett and Josh Janssen — discussed comedy, pranks & banter across 127 of its 1,022 daily episodes between 2018 and 2021. This page collects what was actually said: 133 verbatim quotes, 50 pieces of advice, 165 stories told on air, 49 on-air debates, each linked to the exact moment in the episode and on YouTube.
Where they stand
Moments where the table disagreed, straight from the transcripts.
Argues a parking fine is far less annoying than having a car towed, since a fine can be paid quietly without the owner knowing, while towing is immediately stressful and intrusive.
Agrees towing is worse, recalling he was relieved to get a big fine rather than have his car towed from a keep-clear zone.
awards shows and boycotts
Ep 10008:46Finds award shows like the Golden Globes naff and old-school, and has avoided entering podcast awards because of the self-congratulatory culture around them.
Believes boycotting awards shows carries little power anymore because viewership has collapsed and 'no one's really watching anyway.'
Finds it uncomfortable given global poverty and the pandemic, wondering if future generations will judge comedians for wasting food for content.
Acknowledges the discomfort but notes the creators likely aren't doing it to flaunt wealth, and compares it to toilet-paper hoarding, which only became upsetting once it affected people's own bubble.
Finds the content compelling and likes seeing people who 'really needed it' get blown away by surprise cash gifts, viewing it as putting a prank format to good use despite some lingering unease about the format.
Dislikes the 'positive prank' format more than classic pranks because it involves invading strangers' personal space without consent (e.g., approaching with scissors or grabbing earbuds) under the guise of a surprise reward.
Views Sacha Baron Cohen and Chris Lilley as experts whose comedy is more complex than it appears, defending their craft even while being cautious about direct judgments.
Argues people and jokes can't be fairly judged retrospectively by today's standards since they were 'of a time,' though acknowledges Chris Lilley pushed right up to and sometimes over a line that wouldn't be acceptable now.
Opposes giving family members large cash sums, arguing money doesn't necessarily improve life and can create stress; prefers funding experiences, properties to stay in, and lifestyle upgrades instead.
Agrees broadly with Josh's reasoning but argues some petty cash should still be given case-by-case for lifestyle changes and trip expenses.
Questions the logic, noting that providing free housing is itself a major financial gift even without direct cash.
Believes phone pranks will never work on him because he verifies unknown callers via text before engaging, and unknown numbers are automatically silenced by his phone settings.
Believes Josh can be pranked and says he'd love to successfully pull one off in the office.
Acknowledges her therapist and references to Hannah Gadsby suggest self-deprecating humour can be unhealthy/self-destructive over time, but says she'll likely keep doing it anyway because it's 'safe' — only she gets hurt by the joke.
Relates to the same pattern in himself, noting it can be a 'headfuck' tied to people-pleasing and seeking a good reaction.
The plumber took the path of least resistance and probably did what most people would do in that situation, especially considering who was paying him.
It's easy to push someone into lying in a high-pressure scenario like that, comparing it to Hamish and Andy-style setups.
Comfortable using fast-track passes and having others handle transactions, comparing it to how Jerry Seinfeld pre-pays at restaurants.
Feels a bit weird or guilty benefiting from preferential treatment or having costs handled for him, even though he acknowledges enjoying it.
whose risqué joke (Josh's 'tits' comment vs Tommy's cat 'pussy' joke) was more inappropriate
Ep 695▶ 45:09Argues his 'tits' comment about Sevs' girlfriend was a lighthearted joke and less offensive than discussing his own partner's nipple photo; initially suggests the two jokes aren't equivalent to Tommy's.
Argues Josh's comment about Sevs' girlfriend's breasts is worse than his own joke referencing a cat, and accuses Josh of hypocrisy for calling him out.
Believes dad jokes are clever because they reflect quick, in-the-moment observation, even if a dad doesn't realise he's doing it.
Argues dad jokes are not clever at all — they're 'safe fodder,' the simplest low-hanging-fruit joke used around children when you can't tell the jokes you'd actually want to.
Advice from the show
all 50pieces →What was actually said, attributed and linked to the moment.
What's the etiquette for escalating a prank war?
Tommy argues pranks work like 'compound interest' — a retaliatory prank needs to be bigger than the original to actually cancel it out, otherwise the score isn't settled.
Is a formal business plan necessary when starting a business?
Crystal and the hosts agree that while a business plan can provide some initial direction, it's the ongoing process of testing and learning in practice that matters most, and a rigid plan may not reflect the unpredictable early stages of a new venture.
Is it safe to buy an apartment off the plan?
Off-the-plan buyers can get a discount and perks (like a free coffee table book or gym membership), but there's real risk: if the development goes under, buyers can lose their entire deposit.
How can you defuse potential teasing or criticism about yourself?
Make the joke about yourself first — Josh says that as a kid he was always the first to make the fat joke about himself, which disarms others because they can't use it as ammo against you.
How do you dry homemade pottery without a kiln?
Clay pieces don't need to be kiln-fired; they can simply be left to air dry (a kiln just speeds up the process), after which they can be painted and optionally glazed.
How do I find a profitable niche business idea?
Look for an unsexy, specific gap in the market that solves a real problem (not necessarily something you love), and build a marketing funnel (course, academy, SEO) around it, similar to how the Aussie English podcast niched into teaching English.
Should you get into comedy for the money?
Tisdell argues getting into comedy for money is the wrong motivation ('if you get into comedy for money, then you're a fuckwit'); she reframed her own ambitions after losing paid work in 2020, realizing the career isn't fundamentally about money for her.
How can you avoid falling for a phone scam or phone prank?
Don't engage directly on the call; instead text back asking who it is, and if they claim to be from a company, ask them to email official information rather than discussing details over the phone.
What makes a prank actually work once the target suspects something?
Once someone is onto a prank, the prankers should commit without introducing further lies or excuses; adding lies (like why a GoPro was left out) undermines credibility and gives the prank away.
How can you manage anxiety about whether you've upset someone with a joke?
Message the person directly and ask if a comment landed badly or if things are okay between you, rather than letting anxious overthinking escalate unresolved.
What should creatives learn from a near-miss TV deal falling through?
Don't invest everything into one dream; diversify your opportunities and offer yourself multiple paths rather than relying on a single project succeeding.
What's the key rule for doing improv comedy?
Always say yes and add to the idea rather than blocking with 'no, but' — give one performer something they want and another who creates conflict against it.
How do you properly cook an eggplant to avoid bitterness?
Wet your knife before cutting the eggplant in half, score the flesh, salt it generously, leave it face-down on a rack for about 15 minutes to drain the bitter water, wipe with paper towel, insert whole (uncrushed) garlic cloves into the scores, then roast for about 40 minutes until the garlic purées.
What's a key tip for roasting a whole chicken?
Season the cavity of the chicken, not just the outside, and use whole garlic cloves along with onion wedges as a roasting base.
What's a good way to drink Fireball whisky?
Put the bottle in the freezer or fridge to chill it, which makes the cinnamon flavour smoother and more palatable for shots.
How often should you get a flu vaccine?
Get the flu vaccine every year, ideally during the prime window of March to May.
Should comedians ask other comedians to perform their jokes off-stage?
Josh notes he's been told off for asking comedians to tell their jokes outside of a show context, implying it's considered poor etiquette.
How do you know when to keep grinding open mics versus focus on writing in comedy?
Capper suggests doing the 'smart grind': attend open mics while you're learning, but once you recognize a gig is poorly run or a waste of time, redirect that energy into writing instead, since the right mix differs per comedian (e.g., Nate Valvo writes heavily and skips mics, while Capper does more live mic work).
How should you deal with feeling threatened by more successful or visibly ambitious peers?
Capper advises shifting from resentment ('fuck that guy, he's trying too hard') to curiosity ('how can I learn from this guy'), noting that visible hustle (social media, extra gigs, trying new formats) is something to study rather than dismiss as try-hard behaviour.
How do you create career opportunities through networking?
Lehmo advises that opportunities often come from small, low-pressure conversations rather than formal pitches — stopping someone in a hallway and casually mentioning interest in a type of gig can lead to major, long-running opportunities.
How can you make a stage bit land better with a mixed audience (fans and newcomers)?
Josh suggests standing up suddenly to increase perceived status (citing the book Impro and Michael Bungay Stanier), and deliberately not explaining the in-joke so that fans who get it feel included while others are left intrigued rather than alienated.
How much magnesium should you take for back pain without causing side effects?
Magnesium (e.g., as a powder or bath flakes) can help relax muscles and ease back pain, but stick to the recommended daily amount—overdoing it can cause headaches, itching/stinging sprays, or other unwanted side effects.
How should comedians handle Comedy Festival applications before writing their show?
You must submit your show name, blurb, photo and venue application months in advance, so write a blurb general enough that you don't trap yourself into specifics you haven't written yet, but still compelling enough to sell tickets.
What's the best process for writing new stand-up jokes?
Start with just a one-line premise rather than fully writing out a bit; test it on stage quickly, and only keep developing it into a longer routine if the audience response (the 'gauge') shows it's worth the time, so you don't waste days polishing material nobody finds funny.
Stories told on air
While Tommy was stressed trying to find a hand model for a shoot, GM Jess approached him in the kitchen and hit him in the face with a raw chicken foot, catching him off guard.
told by Tommy Jackett
The Screenplay Sunday blow-up
Ep 100015:55Archival footage is replayed showing Josh confronting Tommy after a Screenplay Sunday episode he felt was low-energy and poorly executed, with Tommy pushing back that the episode wasn't bad; the pair still disagree on it at the 1,000th episode.
told by Josh Janssen and Tommy Jackett
Tommy recounts a confusing text exchange with radio host Ben Fordham referencing a joke about bacon (tied to vegans and Kevin Bacon/six degrees of separation), which Tommy misunderstood, leading to Josh teasing him about his pop culture blind spots.
told by Tommy Jackett
Tommy describes a spontaneous, perfect-weather beach day with Bodhi, including stand-up paddleboarding (kneeling rather than standing to keep Bodhi safe) and fish and chips from a chaotic old-school shop that night.
told by Josh
George Martin recounts calling a listener, Finn Hart, as part of a prank-call bit disguised as a media company callback; the call went well, lasted 40 minutes, and revealed Finn runs a family pottery business and is a big fan keen to collaborate on branded merchandise.
told by George Martin
While Tommy was away, GB made prank calls to Channel 7, 7-Eleven, and Fitness First Queensland pretending to be Tommy Jackett seeking presenting work; when he tried to get permission to air the calls, all three companies refused, so the show instead had GB replay the pranks live for listeners.
told by Josh Janssen
Peter announces he will move in with his partner Trace in December, discussing lease timing and which furniture (bed, couch, island bench) will or won't make the move.
told by Peter Shepherd
George walked to the shops without his mask, was confronted by a security guard mid-shop, and improvised a face covering out of a calico shopping bag shoved into his hoodie.
told by George Martin
Josh describes sitting down on a toilet seat his toddler son Bodhi had just urinated on, not realizing until the seat's moisture hit his bare skin.
told by Josh Janssen
Jess reveals she won a scholarship and cash prize to study a semester in Singapore while at university but declined it because she would have had to pay significant additional money to stay there for the semester.
told by Jess Lucas
While on a rule-bound 'say yes to everything' trip inspired by Yes Man, Tisdell got drunk in Dublin, was dared by new friends to try stand-up, and climbed on a chair in a random bar to riff for about ten minutes, receiving free drinks in return.
told by Steph Tisdell
Tommy recounts deliberately giving Josh a frozen chocolate mousse from Nando's as payback after Josh had previously complained about receiving frozen chocolate eclairs; Josh didn't realize until eating it on air.
told by Tommy Jackett
Josh describes following cooking instructions for a 'perfect roast pork' but misjudging the oven size, causing the pork to hit the oven's roof and grill against the top element, filling his apartment with smoke before he and his partner Bree managed to get it under control.
told by Josh Janssen
George Martin and Mason Lauder plotted to prank Josh with a hidden GoPro and a fake call claiming Spotify had pulled Hump Day Replay for a copyright strike, enlisting visitor Toni Lodge to make calls. Josh spotted the GoPro and George's odd behaviour, and his phone's do-not-disturb setting blocked unknown callers, causing the prank to unravel; Tommy then admitted he'd tipped Josh off trying to salvage it.
told by Josh Janssen, George Martin, Mason Lauder, Tommy Jackett
Tomasel describes deliberately recording the audio of farting in front of a new partner for the first time and broadcasting the reaction as relatable radio content, after checking with her partner first.
told by Bree Tomasel
Rhys reveals he sold and developed a pilot script with Comedy Central co-written with Paul W. Downes and Lucia Agnello, based on his real life living situation, describing it as his closest step toward a TV show before the pandemic halted the project's progress.
told by Rhys Mitchell
Tommy narrates a viral prank video in which a woman and her secret partner hide in a large appliance box when her boyfriend comes home; the plumber working in the room is pressured into lying to the boyfriend about not having seen anyone, even as the boyfriend's calls ring from inside the box.
told by Tommy Jackett
Tommy recalls standing behind his parents' car as a kid and triggering a camera flash as cars drove past to make drivers think they'd been caught by a speed camera, similar to a TikTok prank trend.
told by Tommy Jackett
In their words
“The prank needs to get bigger and bigger as you go, right?”
“I said yesterday that if George is anxious about an edit, it's going to be a fucking good edit.”
“It's like when I was a, you know, a fat kid, it was— I was always making the first fat joke, which is a little bit sad. But if you make the first joke, It disarms.”
“I like being different, but I don't get why am I like this?”
“you're an absolute whore if it's not H.264.”
“Please don't let Kevin Bacon die.”
“We ended up talking for 40 minutes.”
“When you're fucking your chicka from behind and she lets out a nasty wet fart all over your dick right as you're about to you know, do the deed.”
“You really feel poor when you go to a place like Singapore because you see the people that have the money and you've got the shopping centres with all the great places, but the food's really good.”
“I'm never gonna learn what I'm capable of unless I remove the safety blanket and force myself to fucking swim.”
“Support Aussie farmers, everyone. Support Aussie farmers. That's the live read that we have to do.”
“I think that this is important, I think that this is more about trying not to get scammed or socially engineered.”
“Don't invest everything into like one dream. I think diversification is, is essential for being in entertainment or just being a human.”
“He opens up the box and then puts his hand in, pulls out the phone, like, oh, she left her phone in there.”
“I think he's the richest comedian of all time.”
“Did you hit your head last night?”
“I recognise that I'm at my happiest when I'm making things that I believe in.”
“Normally I'm on the other side.”