Nick Capper - Comedian
Nick is an Australian comedian who has been a part of the Adelaide Fringe Festival, Melbourne Comedy Festival and Sydney Comedy Festival.
In 2019, Nick crowdfunded a trip to travel to London via the worst route and means imaginable – through Asia, across Europe, and finally stepping foot on the cliffs of Dover, all in a tuxedo and tophat.
Alongside Mike Goldstein, Nick Capper hosts The Phone Hacks, where they swap phones and rummage through the dark corners of each other’s private lives.
Nick Capper's website: http://www.nickcapper.com/
Nick Capper on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/capperflapper/
The Phone Hacks Podcast: https://www.nearly.com.au/the-phone-hacks/
Verbatim from the transcripts — each quote links to the moment.
“Does this guy have autism or is he just a non-drinker? Both. Both.”
“You never know what's going to work. It's really trouble.”
“If it gets to that much money, if we raise 3.5 grand, I'll do the whole thing in a tuxedo.”
“You've got to think you're shit all the time.”
“Yeah, you know, it's kind of like— it is kind of like you make your own luck.”
“Maybe nothing will happen, but it will always lead you to something else.”
“You cannot— if you're giving someone advice on stand-up, you are just telling them what works for you.”
“It's not going to be a good bridge if it's a sphere. It's sitting on a sphere.”
How do you know when to keep grinding open mics versus focus on writing in comedy?
Capper suggests doing the 'smart grind': attend open mics while you're learning, but once you recognize a gig is poorly run or a waste of time, redirect that energy into writing instead, since the right mix differs per comedian (e.g., Nate Valvo writes heavily and skips mics, while Capper does more live mic work).
How should you deal with feeling threatened by more successful or visibly ambitious peers?
Capper advises shifting from resentment ('fuck that guy, he's trying too hard') to curiosity ('how can I learn from this guy'), noting that visible hustle (social media, extra gigs, trying new formats) is something to study rather than dismiss as try-hard behaviour.
Is there a reliable formula for writing jokes that will work on stage?
Capper says there is no formula — you can't give someone definitive stand-up advice because it's not like engineering; all you can do is tell people what worked for you, and often unplanned or 'fluke' material outperforms carefully written material.
After getting paid for a gig in rolled-up cash and needing change for a taxi, Capper wandered into the Welcome Stranger pokies venue, fantasized about a life-changing win, and ended up losing $20.
After a crowdfunding joke on his podcast snowballed into real donations, Capper took the worst possible multi-leg route from Melbourne to England (via Kuala Lumpur, Beijing, Shanghai, Poland, Serbia, Austria, Germany, and France) in a full tuxedo with tails, and wore makeup for an extra pledge, drawing stares at every airport across a roughly 36-48 hour journey.
Capper recounts his grandfather surviving the Blitz, dreading a dull banking career in London, impulsively answering a poster recruiting people to Africa, winning money gambling on the boat over, and arriving in Zanzibar where he met Capper's grandmother and started a family, including Capper's father being kissed by the local Sultan.
Drawn from the episode transcripts.
After fans offered to crowdfund his travel to a UK gig, Capper and a fan travel agent designed the worst possible route (Melbourne to Kuala Lumpur, Beijing, Shanghai, Poland, Serbia, Austria, Germany, France, then England) and, once the crowdfund hit $3,500, Capper agreed to do the whole trip in a tuxedo with tails, plus stage makeup for an extra pledge, chronicled on his Instagram.
From episode 624→On Phone Hacks, Capper and comedian Mike Goldstein roll dice to decide what part of a guest's phone to go through (notes, draft tweets, camera roll, search history), then roll again to decide a prank ('hack') to post on the guest's social media, such as texting an uncle or posting provocative tweets.
From episode 624→He says there's no formula — he's had entire written hours fail while an off-the-cuff line (like his Ferrero Rocher joke) became a reliable laugh, and that comedians essentially just put in work and let flukes emerge from that effort.
From episode 624→Mentioned on 1 episode Nickwasn’t on.
Every episode featuring Nick Capper on The Daily Talk Show.
