Oft, That's Awkward

Tommy: The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 343.

Tommy: What's going on, guys?

Josh: Brought to you by AU79 Coffee.

Tommy: We're in debt to them now, so we're having to— we're not even getting paid, but I'm in debt because we just went and got a coffee, and it was a fairly gronk move. I really want to pass the blame on to them, but it was my actions that smashed a KeepCup. Like, it was almost like a It looked antique. Yeah, it was like those new things that look antique.

Josh: You've done the opposite of what, uh, Ruth McGowan's been suggesting. You're going through and just flicking shit off shelves and smashing it.

Tommy: Well, I sat down on this, like, it's like a little makeshift area that people wait for their coffee, and I sat down and it's got a shelf that isn't on a wall.

Josh: Shelf or shelf?

Tommy: It's a shelf. It's a shelving unit, I'll say that. That's, that's just freestanding. So you could just push it over. And I sat back and I just sort of leaned backwards and it pushed this shelf. And I, and I was like, oh no.

Josh: And then I hear this pshh, which is the sound of ceramic hitting the floor.

Tommy: Yeah, I was, um, I was surprised at how well you dealt with it because I'm go— I could have just like— there was a lot of people in this cafe.

Josh: Well, the thing is that in that situation, normally I would suggest, uh, can I pay for it? And, uh, but I think the Tommy Jacket way is just to bury the lead and being going like, fuck, geez, that shelf, it's not good.

Tommy: I did, I said to him, please tell me I'm not the first person to have done that, and he said you're not.

Josh: And then you asked him to please tell you that, so he was being polite. Yeah, I guess, but he moved the whole shelf.

Tommy: Please tell me you get it. It's, it's, if the whole thing is no, if someone hadn't, so otherwise he's just being nice. But probably for the fact that there's been multiple people have done it according to this man. Yeah, uh, sort your shelf issue out, bro. You want to sort your shelf issue out, bro? Okay, stop fucking pulling me up on it.

Josh: I didn't hear what you said. I thought you said shellfish. Sort your shellfish out.

Tommy: It was a bit shellfish, um, that I didn't pay for it.

Josh: But you were telling me this morning I actually wanted to, um, start a new segment called Throwback Thursday where we bring a food item that we remember as a kid and we can get people like Mr. Nice7 or 3D Dill to try.

Tommy: If we've got Throwback Thursday and it's food-related, it's too close to Fat Friday. So then we've got 2 out of 3 shows being centred around food.

Josh: Sure.

Tommy: Josh, we're not having a food show. Our whole show is not going to be a food show.

Josh: I get that. I thought we're going to keep the Caramello Koala to tomorrow is what you're saying.

Tommy: We're going to keep, we're going to keep anything that's food-related 'til Friday, 'cause that's our Fat Fridays.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: Where we can indulge.

Josh: But if that, a 3D deal, you would suggest, you would say that Fat Fridays is the best episode, do you think, that we do?

George: It's definitely the episode that I look forward to the most.

Tommy: Okay, there's a presupposition in that, in the way you posed that. It was exactly like, love that.

Josh: I see you can say presupposition perfectly, but you can't say shelf.

Tommy: Well, I was just working out whether it's shelf, shelving, the shelving unit. Anyway. Um, you, you, you sort of led with it is the best, like you knew the answer or something.

Josh: Sure. I'm sorry, uh, 3D Deal, what's your— what day is your—

Tommy: no, you're already there, you're already there. He gets it, we get the Friday.

George: Yeah, Fat Fridays.

Josh: Yeah, so I thought, well, if we just can— what about if we were to do Fat Fridays every day, is what I'm thinking. Like, maybe we could get to a point where it's— maybe we spread.

Tommy: What I couldn't handle is the, um, the discussion around, uh, your weight. Yeah, sure, because it would cause a problem for all of us.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: Um, I mean, it's— and I was, I was watching a video last night of a guy who had, you know, been working at this company for 3 years, and you should— and I know you watched it too. I don't want to talk about who he is, but I did notice—

Josh: oh yes—

Tommy: that after the 3 years, he showed footage of when he first started And when he finished, there's a massive weight gain.

Josh: Dylan and I were talking specifically about that this morning.

Tommy: I was thinking, the reason I think about it is because I go, where he was working, I could imagine is high stress. Your cortisol levels are high, you're not sleeping that much, you're being worked like a fucking racehorse and, you know, getting whipped.

Josh: Well, now, yeah, if it was a racehorse, it'd be lean as fuck. It's more like a It would be— I'm trying to think of an equivalent. Yeah, a racehorse that does no running and is specifically all around eating.

Tommy: It's all around the eddy. But I was like, oh man, I know it's like the radio industry. You start working there, you're working long hours, shitty food, you want comfort. I've done it. I reckon I was in the worst shape of my life when I was doing breakfast radio.

Josh: Agencies as well. There's certain industries that just, uh, tend to go on the, uh, the unhealthy sort of train.

Tommy: Well, I mean, how many executives— like, I know we've done some filming with some corporate clients, and I know that some of the executives we've dealt with, I've felt like they hadn't put their health first.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And the workers definitely first, but they're lean as fuck.

Josh: A lot of like the top— when you think about, um, certain industries like finance, some of them were super lean. So I get the— maybe they're a bit sort of the Craig Bruce mindset where it's like, I'm going to spend 3 hours at the gym.

Tommy: Well, if you don't have the time, I mean, we were, we were on a podcast yesterday that's coming out soon, Uncommon with Jordan. Uh, he was, we were talking about, you know, I can't even remember what I'm about to say.

Josh: Well, I was, I was obsessed with the food stuff because he's got, um, health anxiety.

Tommy: Yeah, now there's something around, something around the weight.

Josh: He blends, he has to blend his food.

Tommy: I wasn't about that, it wasn't specific.

Josh: Yeah, but I fucking loved that story.

Tommy: He's got health issues that are quite serious and he needs to do things like, you know, refine what he eats and go back to basics.

Josh: But I did offer—

Tommy: seriously serious.

Josh: I did offer on his show that, um, if, if we were to have a paramedic on site for a Fat Fridays, whether he would eat it, try and eat a burger.

Tommy: Because one of my favorite— you know, I'm quite insensitive at times. I think it's super insensitive. He's actually got a fucking health issue.

Josh: He's fine, he's fine.

Tommy: But he's got a heart issue. 'But let's jump into freezing cold water and I've got a paramedic.' He's fine.

Josh: He just has to blend his food, but he's also— he's making progress.

Tommy: Speaking of insensitivity, well, we can work out whether it is or not. A friend of mine put up a photo and it was from his car looking forward at a set of lights, and in front was a hearse. Now, a hearse is what carries a dead person to a funeral in the coffin, right?

Josh: And that's a weird way of saying a dead person to a funeral, like their big event.

Tommy: Mate, they've got to make an appearance. Yeah, that's how they get there.

Josh: Do you think— I have a feeling if I— for my funeral, I don't reckon I need to be there.

Tommy: Oh, Dad said to me, if you put me in there— and he pointed over at a cemetery when we were picking up the pallets actually for this wall behind us. It was one of those moments, weird conversation with your old man. If you put me over there, I'll be pissed.

Josh: Where does he want to go?

Tommy: Cremated.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: He doesn't want to have to take up the land and, you know.

Josh: But I also don't like the, um, I don't like the idea of just like being at the front in a fucking box. That's the other bit, like, it's— I'm not even thinking about like post-show, post-event, fucking like— I'm— that's what I'm talking about, like what happens once the event's done. But at the actual event, I think I'd prefer to have just like— not even slides— see, the thing is slideshows have been tainted by funerals.

Tommy: Yeah, no, I mean, I wanted to be— if I would want a celebration. I'd want it to be a bit of a party.

Josh: Could we get Mr. 97?

Tommy: I want you all to watch my YouTube channel. That's what I want. Just watch me YouTube vids.

Josh: Surely that would—

Tommy: so Mr. 97's the new slideshow of funerals. In case he dies, you actually have to sit through his 4,000 vlogs.

Josh: Would you do a clickbait title like 'How I Died'?

Tommy: Oh man. But, um, so this insensitive the thing that I want to gauge from you guys. Photo of, yeah, this hearse in front, and the caption was, uh, is it rude to beep your horn at a hearse, or should you just flash your lights? I'm asking for a mate.

Josh: So that was because it was slow or something, or like—

Tommy: yeah, yeah, because obviously they hadn't taken off, or you're following behind, and I mean, the guy might be on the phone who's driving it. Or he could have just a, you know, wonky hearse in the back that's kind of, you know, there's nothing worse than driving with something unsteady in your car that can float.

Josh: Nothing worse than an unsteady hearse. Title of the show. Um, no, I think it's fine. I think that it's, uh, it's a beeper. I think beeping, we overbeep here in Australia.

Tommy: Yeah, we definitely do. I was surprised in, um, LA, it's a lot of flashing lights, a lot of flashing lights. They're, they're a lot more accepting because more people are suing everyone. You walk out on the road and they'll stop for you. It's crazy.

Josh: Maybe they listen to the podcast, maybe they're fans. But the, um, we actually this morning when we were walking, we saw a car, um, toot a pedestrian as the pedestrian was crossing the road, which is fine for the pedestrian to be doing. And the guy tooted, and what I loved was the the guy was a bit older and he did the old school—

Tommy: Oh, two fingers up, two fingers up. So that's like up you, up you, up yours. What's the opposite piece? Turn piece around and then just give it a bit of a— bit of a—

Josh: Is that a thing in Canada? Do you do that?

George: Most people just flip someone the middle finger.

Josh: Okay, just the middle. Yeah, that's why I love the old school, like there's some real power in that.

Tommy: Yeah, it probably would have been phrased with malaka in there as well back in the day. The Greek blokes at the end of my street.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: You know, malak, happy wheels.

Josh: Well, I actually, um, I took it upon myself to be the— because that guy walked away and the guy, uh, who was heading into Bunnings parked right near us. And I took the moment to like, you know what, I'm going to stare the guy down.

Tommy: Don't stare him down. I was listening to— please, I was listening. There's this guy who was an ex-bikie who was like one of the top bikies in Sydney.

Josh: What's your obsession with bikies?

Tommy: I don't know, there's something fascinating.

Josh: You don't even have your motorcycle license. I know, but you've never watched Sons of Anarchy? No, I haven't. You haven't? You've probably—

Tommy: yeah, it's, I just, it's a fascinating world that I like to understand because it's so far from my existence, you know, the face tats, the— not even the motorbikes. I don't care about the motorbikes. I just care about the, the racketeering and just the, the ways they make money. Anyway, this guy who's from Sydney that's done a lot of jail time has this podcast.

Josh: Some people look up to Richard Branson, others—

Tommy: I don't— I definitely don't look up to these guys. I just I like watching to gain a perspective that's not mine. And maybe you should, because if you fucking stare down the wrong dude, you're in trouble, beanie boy.

Josh: No, I think the beanie's giving me more confidence. Did you notice my stare down or no?

George: Yeah, I just kept looking straight ahead. Yeah, good. I didn't want to get into anything. Yeah, I'm an international here. If I get into trouble, it's a lot more—

Tommy: yeah. So this bike, he said, he's like mate, there's one thing for certain.

Josh: Don't do the accent.

Tommy: No, I just do. I'm doing what he says, mate. There's one thing for certain.

Josh: He's dropped it.

Tommy: If I'm looking at someone— now I've gone Australian— if I'm looking at someone, I'm not fucking looking away. Like, if I'm staring at someone, I'm not looking away because it's the sign of a weak man who looks away first. And his point was he's got into a bunch of fights from having a stare down. So If your mind is like, well, I just got to stare this guy down, so you're just doing the, you know, doing what a stare down is, but then you're looking at a guy who's an ex-bikie that will actually come and crack your skull.

Josh: He, um, I think maybe the confidence was that I knew that he wasn't part of the stare down. I was staring him down, he wasn't looking at me.

Tommy: But you just get locked in a stare down.

Josh: It's very easy. Maybe I wasn't in a stare down, maybe I just looked at the guy.

Tommy: I think you just looked at him. Don't fucking stare down people. Especially when you're thinking, I'm gonna stare him down, I'm gonna look over there to sort of—

Josh: Well, Bree's done that before. Bree gave someone the middle finger when I was driving. When I was driving. Yeah. And fucking— then the guy came after us.

Tommy: Did he?

Josh: He started like fucking overtaking people and slamming on his brakes in front of us. I was like, you happy you did that, babe? We're about to die because you're being silly.

Tommy: Road rage is serious.

Josh: Yeah, well, that's the thing. That's what I think that, um—

Tommy: I mean, we're lucky here that there's not as many guns. You know, there's a lot of guns in America that people could be carrying a gun.

Josh: You just touched my hand.

Tommy: Don't touch me, don't ever touch me.

Josh: But you touched me.

Tommy: Yeah, but don't ever touch me.

Josh: Can we, can we say it? And yeah, can we get a snippet of just— yeah, actually that's a funny highlight because you've done that multiple times. I don't think I've ever touched you, I think it's always been the other way around.

Tommy: Yeah, I'm glad you never touched me, to be honest. You should be thankful that I've touched you. Amy called me just before, she said that she was listening to yesterday's podcast and she said, so funny, the oof that we all say that I thought I never said. And I looked at you two gronks and thought, I was probably in my mind I'm thinking you fucking idiots. In real life I was actually probably going oof. She said you do that so much.

Josh: Really? Is it coming from me? Did I start it?

Tommy: Yeah, definitely.

Josh: Yeah, absolutely not. No, but, uh, the funny thing is, even we pressed record on this just 3 seconds before we record on the show.

Tommy: 97, oof.

Josh: Yeah, yeah.

Tommy: And I said, what's that?

Josh: What's that? He's sitting down. So we've— I think we're overusing the oof now. Yeah, because you can— and the thing is, if we know anything, Mr. 97 is an overreactor.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And this— I think there's nothing more annoying than you fucking walk into the office, oof. Yeah, you say it off. Oh man, Premiere Pro's crashed off.

Tommy: If you're listening to this podcast, because I think, you know, you guys are here with us, Dylan97, but I think there's probably— 3D Dylan. Sorry, 3D Dylan. Mr. 3D Dylan.

Josh: Sir 3D Dylan.

Tommy: If you're listening and you've picked up any of our sayings, it was early days, someone was saying that they say bro, because I say bro a lot.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And so they were like, I've picked up the bro. If you've picked up oof, absolutely not, gronk. Yeah, like calling people gronks. Uh, I'm proud of you.

Josh: Well, I stand by the, um, the phrase, sort of live by it. Yeah, don't bro me until you know me.

Tommy: Never say that in my presence.

Josh: Don't bro me to you, but it's actually more sort of a a critique of you calling me bro. Yeah, so you can't critique my—

Tommy: Yeah, but I know you, so I can bro you.

Josh: Yeah, no, you can, absolutely. But the guy at the protein shop—

Tommy: Oh, he'll call you bro.

Josh: Um, but don't bro me until—

Tommy: What, what can you say? What? So, you know, mate, bro, I mean, these things are just used because you don't know their name. And I— And if I see someone that I haven't seen in a while, hey, you know, I just— Oh, hey mate. I saw a woman at Oasis Bakery, one of the favorite— no pay, no say, but I'll mention them because they're a great establishment.

Josh: You should take 3D Dool there. Oh yeah, today, throwback Thursday, get you a big chicken cheeser.

Tommy: Oh, they're like a Lebanese bakery. It's chicken cheeser, big chicken cheeser.

Josh: What's a chicken cheese?

Tommy: Oh, it's got half a pound of haloumi.

Josh: Why are we talking in pounds?

Tommy: Because that's what they— that's how they say. I don't know, it sounds more grand. Half a pound of halloumi.

Josh: Half a pound of—

Tommy: how many, how much is half a pound?

Josh: Well, imagine what a quarter pounder is.

Tommy: Oh, a pound.

Josh: And half a pound of halloumi in a single—

Tommy: Did we say something like that?

Josh: No, I'm using the term pound. They're not using half a pound. 220 grams.

Tommy: Oh no, that's fine then.

Josh: Yeah, definitely.

Tommy: The thing feels like it's a kilo.

Josh: So why does it—

Tommy: but it doesn't— the sell of— we have 220 grams. Half a pound sounds epic.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Can you look up Big Chicken Cheese Oasis Bakery ingredients and see what's in there? So it's got that, it's got chicken, it's got chips inside, it's got barbecue sauce, it's phenomenal. But I walked into the shop the other week and so many people there. It's like, well, the busier somewhere is, the more you kind of just get into your own zone because I'm just hoping I don't see anyone. And I walk in—

Josh: Oh, so you think that too? I feel like you are either becoming more like me or you're just revealing your cards more.

Tommy: No, I think it depends. I'm a human, I feel different ways. Different times, but I can flick back into— so I can go into a big space and go, who do I know here? Who could I speak to? Like, I'm in a mood to speak to people, anyone. I'll fucking— I'll talk to anyone.

Josh: Oh, so you want to speak to someone?

Tommy: Sometimes. Sometimes I love a chat. Sometimes I love a chat.

Josh: So the other— but the other part is, I don't want to chat. Hopefully I don't see anyone.

Tommy: Yeah, I'm in my head.

Josh: What does it take to be like, I don't— hope I don't see someone?

Tommy: Oh, probably tired. I'm probably just— I'm more just— I'm just more in my head.

Josh: That's normally when you do see people though, is when you're—

Tommy: Yeah, but I've got no problem with once I— like, I can flick back real quick so I can feel— I can make myself cool. Like, it's what I think, but then when it happens, I'm like, whatever.

Josh: A couple of bros and you're feeling good. Hey bro! Hey bro! Yeah, I'm back.

Tommy: No, but this girl, she came towards me, Tommy! I'm just looking at her, just trying to gauge where I know her from. I said, hey, and you just, you go into it, you enter into it so that you give yourself, you know, microseconds to work this shit out. I didn't work out her name, but I remember where she was. She lived in Shepparton.

George: Okay.

Tommy: And she was lovely, and she worked at a coffee shop that I used to go to.

Josh: That's nice.

Tommy: And so I was kind of like, but it took me a while, but I was thinking maybe the approach with that kind of shit I know it's awkward, but it's like, your name has escaped my mind. Like, if I just said that straight up, like, if that's the response. So it's not bro, it's like, hey, hey bro, the problem, the people I don't do it with is the clients that I trained when I was a personal trainer. They gave me all this money and I gave them a lot of time and we were one-on-one and I've just totally forgotten most of their names. Like, it's just years ago, I've just So I don't think I'd do it with them, but do you think— just what would you do? Because that's, I mean, that's awkward. That's entering into a more awkward zone by saying your name has escaped.

Josh: I think I've gotten better at greetings.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, definitely. I think it's probably hanging around me.

Josh: But then I was like, but I think now that I'm cool with it, I think that I'm realizing, like, I'm at— now I'm outside of my anxieties, I get to experience other people's awkwardness.

Tommy: Oh yeah, well, if you can, if you can put yourself present into it and go like, nothing bad really is going to happen from this.

Josh: Jack came in, uh, the other day.

Tommy: Jack Post. Yeah, I mean, I'll say I've got it and I didn't post it, but I will today.

Josh: Can I watch it? Well, because Jack will never, Jack will never start with a hug, and I push back on it by being like, fuck, we've been mates for a long time, I'm gonna always go for a hug. Every time he goes for a handshake, I'm gonna be like, mate, yeah, whether you like it or not, give baby a hug.

Tommy: It sounds awkward, and I captured the most awkward moment of this.

Josh: Well, why the fuck were you filming it?

Tommy: How did that happen? Because I knew it was going to be awkward. If there's one thing, it's Jack and Josh. Jack Post and Josh Janson.

Josh: It's a narrow door.

Tommy: It could be. You could do the awkward hour, the podcast.

Josh: Well, there's definitely— it's a— can I watch it? I just haven't seen it. We have to play it now on this video.

Tommy: Mr. 97's just getting worked out.

Josh: You're gonna be okay? Do we need extra staff or are you gonna be good? Um, just keep talking, I'll work this out. Don't tell me what to do. Um, so no, but the problem is it is quite a narrow door. But I think part of it is, um, uh, you know, you can fall into the hug that like, oh, every time I see someone I hug them hello or whatever. And I think that I've just been, um okay, not like— I think part of it is I will myself into it so I can't feel the moment because I've like, I worked out 2 days ago before I saw them what I'm gonna do.

Tommy: Conspiracy Jimmy, my best mate, he had his son's birthday the other day and his wife, they've been together since we were 17. I used to date his wife's mate. And so I've known— my point is I've known his wife for a long time. Yeah, I know what she looks like. Her sister looks very similar to her though.

Josh: Oh no.

Tommy: And so I walked into the party. I know I didn't say her name, but I embraced for a hug more than with the, with the sort of— not passion, wrong word— with the, with the knowledge that it was Ankara, James, the Conspiracy Jimmy's wife. It was at the hug and the, and the resistance she was giving me. It wasn't like resisting, but it was like Sounds like resistance. I kept it going too long, and at that moment I realised this is the system.

Josh: Did you say anything in that moment or no?

Tommy: No, no, no, because I don't think she would have realized.

Josh: When I kissed—

Tommy: She was like, oh, he liked— that was a nice hug.

Josh: I had a nice kiss with your mum.

Tommy: Did you, mate?

Josh: Yeah, it was, uh, it wasn't— it was, uh, the closest thing you could get to kiss on the lips without being on the lips.

Tommy: Really?

Josh: Yeah, it was nice. It was sort of like if I was using— like, I'm just like— it was around there.

Tommy: Oh, that's getting close.

Josh: It's very close.

Tommy: Was it a mistake or you went in for it?

Josh: I think your mum intended it to be that way, which I'm cool with, which I was like, you know what, that was nice. We had a nice lunch. It's all true.

Tommy: Yeah, I, you know, I kiss, um, I've kissed my auntie on the lips quite a few times. It's like she goes for it, puckers up. There's a, there's a woman I know that, that, um, loves a lip kiss.

George: Loves it.

Josh: Is her name Amy or—

Tommy: No, no, no, no, this is She's very—

Josh: Works at the bakery? What the fuck is this?

Tommy: No, just a friend, a woman I've known for a long time.

Josh: Why are you being so weird about it?

Tommy: Oh, just because it sounds weird.

Josh: Are you an escort?

Tommy: Anyway, here we go. This is—

Josh: Oh wait, let me— I need to fucking view it.

Tommy: Mason will show it up right between us.

Josh: Okay, here we go. I'll do it for the guys as well so the guys can see. Here we go. How are you? Good, how are you?

Tommy: Yeah, good. That was awkward.

Josh: To be clear, the reason why it's awkward is because I'm on the fucking stairs. I'm 3 steps up. No, you need to get, uh, Jack's permission surely before you put that.

Tommy: No way, no way.

Josh: Brand damaging for both of us.

Tommy: No, no, that's, that's completely fine.

Josh: I'll text him.

Tommy: We can text him. I, I mean, I did say at the end of that, I gotcha, and I got it. That was the most awkward thing. I got it on camera.

Josh: But that's the thing, if I've learned anything, especially from Conspiracy Jimmy.

Tommy: Yes.

Josh: The worst thing you can do in situations is be like, oh, that's awkward. That's the awkward bit. What, saying you're awkward?

Tommy: That was awkward, wasn't it?

Josh: You could say, but where everything's awkward all the time.

Tommy: Yeah, but it's like, if you—

Josh: it's a kill. It is a vibe killer.

Tommy: What about like when this gets into relationships? Like when Mr. 97's on a date and he goes in and he butts her head.

Josh: And what does that mean? Like, not that that's happened.

Tommy: I'm saying, yeah, of course it's not happened, mate. I know. I'm saying when you do experience those things, it's bound to happen. Like bumping lips, it's like, it's okay to then say, oh, like just calling, calling a spade a spade. That was fucked. That was horrible. You know, this shit happens. And if you can air it, then I think it's fine. Like, I think you You're saying it gets even worse if you say, "That was weird." Yeah, I think so. It'd probably be for you. No, probably for you.

Josh: So I think in general, saying it's awkward is all of a sudden telling the other person we are judging this scenario.

Tommy: Yeah, and we are. Everyone's judging every scenario as we go. And if it's just like airing it, I think the voice— it's not malicious saying that was awkward.

Josh: What I love—

Tommy: oh, Bit awkward.

Josh: Well, the thing I think what I love is that you and I have different filters. Yeah. So it's like me going hard on Jordan yesterday for his health issues. For you, that's like, fuck, you're getting, you're getting classy.

Tommy: No, I actually just gauge his—

Josh: I mean, of course he's a bit uncomfortable with it. He has to blend his food every day to eat at the moment, but he's getting around it. Yeah. And the other thing, he would remember he was trolling me. That was one of like, I asked for a snippet of that bit. He was trolling me. About shit as well.

Tommy: Yeah, I guess we're constantly reading the scenario and we read—

Josh: I think that's maybe the thing. Yeah, we have different languages in the way we read stuff.

Tommy: Oh, we definitely read stuff differently, which is good. Well, you want to because otherwise we would— it just would have been two blokes on his podcast harassing him about his food.

Josh: Yeah, just eat the burger. Yeah, but then after the—

Tommy: but use the sippy cup. No, he didn't say that, but I could imagine that's what would happen. It'd get real fucking inappropriate.

Josh: Well, the, um, but after the show he was into the idea because he then said to his partner Lauren, yeah, what's the first thing he said when he got off?

Tommy: What do you do when you, when you've just had a bloke talk to you for 15 minutes about an idea?

Josh: Just roasted.

Tommy: Do you just ignore it? I think he's like entering into like, I've just gotta, yeah, my wife or my fiancée, how about that?

Josh: I think he definitely was into it though because he was like, oh Lauren, the guys think that maybe I could, um, have like solid foods for the first time on their show and have a paramedic. And what he actually said, he's— what he said was that it was a positive thing because he'd been reading Tony Robbins, and what they'd been saying is it's all like, you need to, um, actually like, uh, realise the absurdity of it.

Tommy: Yeah, jolting yourself out of your own anxieties.

Josh: And so what he appreciated was that I said, hey, let's get a paramedic, because all the alternative is that by you highlighting the—

Tommy: his illness—

Josh: well, when you call it an illness, it is an illness, but that's— that plays into his health anxiety. He doesn't have an illness.

Tommy: Okay, so he doesn't have it, but when you highlight it, there is— you're trivialising it.

Josh: I definitely—

Tommy: that he's trying to go, no, people have told me that I've been trivialising it, but the whole illness is based on him Psychological.

Josh: Maybe it's because I'm a little bit sort of fucked up in the head.

Tommy: I think when you gauge an awkward situation, you can double down. You double down.

Josh: It's one of my favourite things to do, which isn't the best quality when you have a podcast and it goes out. But the— I like the other one. But IBS, as an irritable bowel syndrome, as a concept, I've felt a lot of humour around because of my mate Naysan. Yeah, like the diabetes thing. Like, him and I can laugh at it. Because it's like, bro, you fucking ate cereal for 30 years of your life laughing about it and now look like you're fucked.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, I guess it's— I mean, we're getting towards times where you can't joke about anything.

Josh: But the thing is, like, that's diff— I think there's difference. Type 2 diabetes that's created from Nayshan, who specifically is very much like, look at me, I'm invincible, like, I mean, fuck it, or like, oh geez, hopefully this doesn't give me diabetes. Like, getting the call from him being like, man, you have got diabetes.

Tommy: I think for any individual, I don't think the instant go-to, this is a funny situation, I think that would probably either be the first thing, but then it's still some point they need to fucking realise the seriousness, the seriousness of what's happening, to then go, all right, now I've got options. It's grieving, it's fucking realizing, shit, my situation isn't amazing, now what?

Josh: Well, I think that was one of the criticisms that Bray used to have of me, which is that my perspective on things is, wouldn't it be funny if in a movie someone said this?

Tommy: Yeah, well, it's the all for content. You've been acting, seeing, since you were fucking born.

Josh: And so I'm always looking at that where it's like, ah, fuck, this would actually— like, in the context of a stand-up bit or something like that, that'd be really funny. Like, there are people who can joke about cancer and can joke about all that sort of thing.

Tommy: Usually it's on a stage.

Josh: Yeah, but it's like when you do it as it's But I think that's a coping mechanism too.

Tommy: Definitely. It's like you saying, um, you know, the—

Josh: what have I said?

Tommy: You know, just around funerals and, you know, you don't like— like some people laugh at funerals because they fucking— it's some weird sort of, uh, display. It's like that, it's their emotional response and they can't help it. Yeah, you know, it's, it's a, it's an unusual thing.

Josh: But I can get into the giggles with stuff.

Tommy: I can definitely get into the giggles. I giggled yesterday. I can't actually say that. No, I'll tell you after. I'll tell you after.

Josh: No, don't tell me after.

Tommy: I want to tell you.

Josh: I think—

Tommy: don't tell me, I can't tell you. I'll tell you after.

Josh: If we've learned anything, I'm not gonna ask. Uh, have you guys laughed at anything that you, uh, regret? 97 or 3D Deal? That's low level enough that you can mention on the podcast? No, I think the funniest things are just when you're getting told off at school from teachers from like interrupting the whole class and then and it's your whole table that's just pissing themselves.

Tommy: I forget that that was his reality only one year ago.

Josh: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we're talking to the class clown of 2018.

Tommy: 3-day deal.

George: Uh, I, I was on the plane over here and I was listening to a comedy special and the guy was making baby jokes and sitting right next to me is this newborn baby.

Josh: Yeah.

George: And the guy's talking about like dropping babies downstairs, complete irresponsibility of parents. And I'm like, I'm just looking at these two like, I should not be laughing, there's a newborn baby right next to me.

Tommy: That's actually Dylan wanting to do that, but then realising that—

Josh: Well, the baby was good. Like, the baby was like, was well behaved.

Tommy: I told you about how I laughed, my mum and I. Oh yeah. The woman you kissed.

Josh: Yes.

Tommy: Josh kissed my mum. That's the name of the episode.

Josh: I wouldn't kiss and tell. That could be a good bit on the show.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Kiss and tell. TTS bits. You kissing my mum.

Tommy: Oh my God. Imagine we do a sting. Actually, it's not really a sting. I've got to get permission from my wife because it's cheating on it. Me going in for a lip kiss with your mum.

Josh: No, you can't do that nowadays. Definitely can't do that.

Tommy: That's too much?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Well, it's the equivalent. What about if I get there? It's not a random person.

Josh: I'm sure I've seen— No, no, no, you can't do it. I think it's like we go, haha, it's funny. But I'm sure like red carpet sort of stuff, there's been like, fucking, oh, Angelina Jolie, like going in for the kiss and the person's moved.

Tommy: And then someone did it to Will Smith and Will Smith slapped them in the face.

Josh: Yeah. Yeah, it's not— you can't do—

Tommy: yeah, I don't want to get slapped by—

Josh: that's the good thing is like we, uh, radio stunts. This is why radio's been in trouble because the gronks behind the scenes were us working on this shit. Like, you know, it would be really funny, don't you think?

Tommy: It's— I mean, I get that it's like it's probably not the best idea, but I, it's kind of light. I would— I reckon your mum would love it. I reckon it'd be kind of funny. We won't do it, but I think if you want the kiss and you've watched this, just ask.

Josh: But that's what you should do too, you should ask. Uh, I think I was just telling, um, my mum and I My grandfather passed away at 100 years old. Fucking good life.

Tommy: Unbelievable. If I can get, you know, if I can get close to that, I'm happy.

Josh: How was he like the last 10 years? Was he—

Tommy: Oh, he's cracking jokes. Like, he was old school. He was, you know, he served in the war, used to wear that sort of old school attire. You know, the quilt was on his bed every day, and his house was very perfect.

Josh: What's the old school attire like?

Tommy: Just like old school attire, like trousers, shirt, You know, like, um, sort of old shoes, like hipsters. It's not— yeah, it's— I mean, yeah, it's hipsters are rocking my 100-year-old grandpa's attire.

Josh: The Salvos, that is true. The Salvos had 50% off books, uh, when, uh, 3D Dill and I went to get—

Tommy: what's that got to do with anything?

Josh: Salvos.

Tommy: But what has it got to do with me?

Josh: Well, I just didn't buy any books.

Tommy: Am I not telling a story? Does the books have anything to do with my story?

Josh: It was more just a tangent.

Tommy: Okay, uh, so anyway, are you proud of me? Proud of you for what?

Josh: Not buying books.

Tommy: Yeah, no, I actually would have preferred you to buy books there because you would have saved money than Amazon.

Josh: Yeah, it was—

Tommy: all right, we're not going into that tangent.

Josh: Sorry, $3 for a book, made it $1.50.

Tommy: That's not— that's, that's cheap. That's cheap. Uh, anyway, so I— we're in the room, my grandfather passed away, and it's in here. It's— have you been around someone, a dead body?

Josh: Uh, yes.

Tommy: You have?

Josh: Yeah, I'm trying to remember.

Tommy: Mr. 97? Uh, yeah, you have.

George: Yeah, still.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: And it's, and it's sort of this, like, what a fun kind of taxi to do. Well, guys, who's seen a dead body?

Tommy: Hands up. I think not everyone's experienced shit. How many funerals you've been to? Yeah, like, how many friends have you had? Like, not everyone has had this shit happen in their life. So that's what I'm trying to gauge, because it's an, it's a, it's an unusual experience. It's kind of surreal. It's like you see a lifeless body is very, very sort of, you know, sobering. Yeah, because it makes you think about how much we're just like a vessel.

Josh: Well, I was even thinking about people who deal with like road trauma and shit.

Tommy: Oh my God, paramedics. Yeah, pay them more.

Josh: Yeah, jeez.

Tommy: Anyway, what was amazing is when we got there, I felt him and he was warm, and by the time we left, I felt him and he was cold, which is fucking crazy. Anyway, he passed away and his mouth mouth was open. Like, it's just, it must be a thing that happens.

Josh: Yeah, did they explain why?

Tommy: Like, is it because your body goes into rigour mortis? Yeah, and so it's just the muscle must just relax, mouth is open. And we get in there and it's a moment where Mum and I are sort of holding each other and it's, and it's, it's, it was really nice. He's old and he's gone and was on good terms, you know. And so I just, you've got such a good way of words. I'm with Mum.

Josh: Good terms.

Tommy: Good terms.

Josh: I mean, he didn't stare someone down and go, I can get stabbed. Yeah, that's bad terms. Bad terms.

Tommy: If I come to the hospital and you're fucking gone because that bike—

Josh: High five with Guy Funnings. Bad terms. 100 years? Good terms.

Tommy: Good terms.

Josh: It's a good term.

Tommy: Good contract.

Josh: Did he get a letter, by the way?

Tommy: He got a letter from the Queen, but we had to—

Josh: You have to submit an application.

Tommy: Yeah, you've got to submit. It's an arduous process. So anyway, Mum and I are standing there and I just see her reach over with her hand and trying to start to close his mouth. And she puts it up and it comes down again. And at that moment she went again, and I just said, Mum, and I started laughing and she started laughing. And it was that moment where it's like, this is so outrageous what you're trying to do. And we're just feeling emotion, we're holding each other and sort of like crying and sort of laughing at the same time. It was just bizarre. It was bizarre.

Josh: Yeah, the, um, I feel like I remember in like school one of the things that ambos and stuff, you know how like the firies come and teach you about fire safety and all that sort of thing.

Tommy: Stop, drop and roll.

Josh: Yeah, one of the things is they're like, if you've fallen in the shower or whatever and you're hurt, don't try and fucking get into your clothes. Like, because people are like, oh fuck, the paramedics are coming. So they try and fucking dress the person who's fucking fallen over or whatever. Yeah, like the paramedics are used to it.

Tommy: There's some serious— a friend of mine's brother's a paramedic, told me, told me a story. My friend told me a story. That he went to a brothel and a guy had— was nude in the shower and fell through some glass and it just did this huge 30-centimeter just laceration down his back. And he said that as he's wheeling him out, he's like, please don't tell my mum, please don't tell my mum. He must have just been off his face. Fucking hell, what a way. Bad contract.

Josh: What'd you say? What a way. Did he die?

Tommy: What a way to just go out anyway. Go out of a brothel.

Josh: Yeah, you don't want to be yelling. Going out of a brothel as a general rule.

Tommy: You want to be pretty satisfied, I think.

Josh: If you, if you enjoy the bullshit that we talk about, please give us a review on the Apple Podcasts/iTunes app. Tomorrow is Fat Fridays, which means, uh, I think it will be an Australiana-themed Fat Fridays. Caramello koalas.

Tommy: Yeah, first day, first Fat Friday that 3D Deal is here for.

Josh: Meat pie?

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, I reckon meat pie. It's a solid one. Have you actually had a meat pie, 3D Deal?

George: No.

Tommy: No, never. Amazing. I mean, start there. World's his oyster.

Josh: Anything, any other bit of food? Vegemites are fine.

Tommy: I mean, you looked over at the New Zealander.

Josh: Well, he knows. He's fucking been here for how long? How many years?

Tommy: Uh, 12 maybe. Yeah, it's enough. Um, all right, that's enough.

Josh: As in, it's enough.

Tommy: Both.

Josh: It's a daily talk show. We'll see you tomorrow.

George: See you guys.