Advice on parenting & family.

How should I discipline a young child without scaring them?

Rather than instilling fear, take something away as a consequence (like screen time) so the child learns actions have consequences without becoming scared to act at all.

How should a business decide on team-building or office perks?

Josh suggests tailoring activities to what the least-enthusiastic team member (in this case Jess) would actually enjoy, rather than defaulting to things like golf that not everyone likes.

How should couples decide who stays home with kids and who keeps working?

Josh and Tommy suggest it comes down to communication and clearly identifying what each partner wants and needs, accepting that it's rarely a one-off decision but an ongoing negotiation, and that trade-offs (money, time, identity) should ideally be discussed before friction points arise rather than left to 'life happening'.

How can you build more self-compassion or empathy for yourself?

Tommy suggests a meditation technique of picturing yourself as the child you once were and considering how you'd want that younger version of yourself to be treated, as a way to build more kindness toward yourself and others.

Should a business or community be framed as a 'family'?

Avoid calling a team or audience a 'family'; instead frame it as a 'community'—a place of belonging and care—since family framing can be unrealistic and exploited.

How can you ensure durable, long-lasting socks instead of cheap ones that wear out?

Buy merino wool socks like Darn Tough Vermont, which come with a lifetime guarantee — worn-out pairs can be mailed back for free replacements, and buying multiple pairs on trips to the US (where they're more accessible) is a practical workaround for international buyers.

What's a good way to introduce a new baby to an older sibling?

Have the new baby 'give' a gift to the older sibling on the day they're born, so the older child feels included and positively connected to the new arrival from day one.

What should you bring to avoid getting into trouble on a hike?

Always carry more food and water than you think you'll need and bring a first aid kit so you can help yourself or others if something goes wrong.

How can I survive boring or repetitive small talk at family gatherings or holidays?

Find the person's specific quirk, obsession, or profession and ask deep, curious follow-up questions about it—this shifts focus away from yourself and can sustain a long, engaging conversation.

How do you keep a relationship strong after having kids?

Matty and Laura enforce a 'no mobile phones after 7pm' rule once their daughter is in bed so they can focus on each other, acknowledging they break it sometimes but try to make a conscious effort.

What informal activities can help a toddler's early learning at home?

Josh describes using everyday moments like reading number plates, counting fingers, and saying birthdays as fun, low-pressure ways to support a toddler's learning without rigid structure.

How can I make it easier to remotely help parents or older relatives with tech problems?

Josh recorded screen-recorded video instructions and did live screen shares so his dad could follow along step by step, and set up a family password manager account with two-factor authentication rather than resetting the password each time, to create a longer-term fix rather than a repeated workaround.

What's the safest way to set up two-factor authentication?

Avoid linking 2FA to your local mobile number since it becomes unusable while traveling internationally without your home SIM; use an authenticator app or password manager instead.

How should you respond when a child's behavior emotionally triggers you?

Try to observe your emotional reaction as energy rather than being swept up in it — acknowledging the feeling without letting it control your response can change the outcome of the interaction.

How do you cope with reduced work time after becoming a parent?

Recognise it's okay to need dedicated uninterrupted work time (even just a few hours) and not feel guilty asking for it, since constant interruptions can be more draining than having less total time.

What should you do when values clash with a partner over generosity (like giving away someone else's belongings)?

Tommy frames the conflict as two different but valid values clashing (generosity toward others vs. attachment to specific special possessions) rather than one person being simply wrong.

How can I get a young child more engaged in creating rather than just consuming content?

Strip consumption apps like Netflix and YouTube off their tablet and leave only creation tools, give them an old iPad or a GoPro to start filming and taking photos, and gradually introduce basic editing and professional creative tools as they show interest.

How can parents savor fleeting moments with young kids even when it's tiring?

Pay attention to small things that will change soon, like a child's squealy voice, and treat ordinary moments (like drives to get a toddler to sleep) as worth savoring rather than only focusing on the restrictions of quiet, careful parenting.

How can parents handle anger or frustration with young kids during stressful periods like lockdown?

Josh recounts his friend Sai's prenatal-class quote, 'go outside before you shake the baby' — meaning if you're feeling overwhelmed or angry as a parent, step outside and remove yourself from the situation rather than act out toward the child.

How should you handle feelings of anger that get triggered by parenting situations?

Tommy suggests recognising when old patterns of anger (e.g., from childhood experiences) are being triggered by present parenting stress, and making a conscious choice in the moment to let it go rather than react.

How should I manage a toddler's transition out of nighttime nappies?

Keep the nappy on at night but encourage the child to use the toilet before bed; only remove the nappy once it consistently stays dry, rather than letting the child wet the bed as a teaching method.

What should I do if I suspect a food intolerance?

Try an elimination approach like FODMAP to identify trigger foods (e.g., onion), since many people don't realise how much better they could feel until they remove the offending food — you often don't know you're unwell until you feel what 'better' is.

How should couples without kids make the most of their free time?

Josh advises people without kids to have as much fun as possible now, since he feels he 'fucked it' by not prioritizing fun before having a child, because time and energy get consumed once kids arrive.

Should I step in when my child is going through a painful social moment, like losing a 'best friend'?

Let the child feel and sit with the pain rather than immediately trying to fix it or rationalize it away, since struggling through hard moments is part of building resilience; revisit the lesson calmly later rather than in the heat of the moment.

Is it selfish to choose not to have children?

Amy Jackett argues it's not selfish because you can't change what you naturally want, comparing the inclination not to want kids to something as fixed as sexual orientation, while Gemma Watts notes she had to actively 'educate' friends that not everyone follows the same life path.

Will an only child miss out by not having siblings?

Amy Jackett says that watching Gemma Watts's close, happy relationship with her parents as an only child made her question the common belief that every child needs a sibling, concluding that an only child may gain something different rather than miss out.

Can you realistically work from home and look after a baby at the same time?

Amy Jackett warns that anyone who claims you can work from home while looking after kids hasn't actually done it, noting she could fit in maybe 15 minutes of work while caring for Bodhi.

How can you handle parenthood without being overwhelmed by expectations?

Try to let the child lead rather than anticipating what they'll be like; surrender the need to figure everything out in advance, similar to how you might have to surrender control during fertility struggles.

How should I handle a parent who keeps calling for tech support?

Tell them to go away and write down exactly what their problem is first, since often the real issue is a lack of clarity about what they're asking rather than an actual technical problem.

When is the best time to renew a passport if you're not sure when you'll travel next?

Tommy advises getting the passport renewed sooner rather than later if you have the money and time, since rushing a renewal right before a trip is stressful and costs more.

How should you handle a child hiding or stealing treats like chocolate?

Keep sweets stored up high out of reach, since kids may escalate (e.g., dragging chairs to climb into pantries) if hiding spots aren't adjusted.

How do families stay aligned while confined together?

Use calm, clear communication to set boundaries (like who sits where to work), treat each other with respect, and accept that the old way of living fast and separately is being replaced by a need to coexist better.

How do you figure out who you really are after a major identity crisis?

Go into a room alone, play music that makes you feel empowered, and write down your values, beliefs, personality, talents, and skills—then compare that to how you're actually living to see where the gaps are.

Should I tell my child the truth about Santa before they figure it out themselves?

Tommy says he won't proactively break the news and would rather let his son work it out naturally like most kids do, rather than sitting him down for a talk.

What should you do if someone compliments you based on a misunderstanding?

Sometimes it's fine to just accept the compliment and leave out the full details rather than correcting the record.

How should you decide what social obligations to accept?

Only do things you genuinely want to do; don't attend events or talk to people out of politeness alone, and politely decline invitations (like charity events) unless you have a specific useful role, such as emceeing.

How should you think about becoming a parent if you're unsure you want kids?

Tim says he never particularly wanted to be a father, but once he decided to have children he resolved he only wanted one shot at it, so he made sure to approach it as his best shot — treating the commitment seriously rather than taking it for granted.

What should landscapers understand before planting a garden?

Tim advises that landscapers need to understand how plants grow, their mature size, and habits before installing them, because many landscapers don't understand this and end up planting rows of plants that look bad as they mature.

How should you handle a toddler who gets sad settling into a new daycare?

Josh advises reassuring the child that the environment is safe and the people are lovely, briefly staying with them if needed, but not immediately picking them up every time they're upset — you have to let them adjust gradually rather than caving in.

How does intimacy change in a relationship after having a child?

Accept that a relationship requires more deliberate effort after a child arrives — it can't stay the same, so couples need to consciously create a 'new version' of connection rather than using tiredness or the kid as a permanent excuse.

How do you deal with ongoing family negativity or unsupportive comments about your career?

Have the harder, vulnerable conversation directly with family rather than avoiding it or resenting it silently; tell them plainly that you feel unsupported, because people often won't volunteer that and need to hear it to understand the impact.

How do you recover quickly after an emotional overreaction with a partner or family member?

Emotional reactions are a natural human trait; the real skill to build (partly through meditation) is how quickly you can notice the reaction, step back, and course-correct rather than preventing the reaction entirely.

When is the right time to have a baby?

Tommy says there is no 'right time' - you'll never feel like you have enough money or are fully ready, so waiting for ideal conditions isn't realistic.

Should people feel pressured into having kids because of societal expectations?

Josh suggests people should question the universal narrative that having kids, getting married, or buying a house is mandatory for fulfillment, since fulfillment can be sought in many different ways.

How can I get my toddler to listen and help with simple tasks?

Give direct instructions rather than open yes/no questions — toddlers respond well to being told to do something specific (e.g. 'go put this in the bin') because they like order and feel like they're accomplishing a task.

Should you keep texting someone after a date if you're unsure, or take other action?

Stop texting and actually call the person on the phone.

How should you handle an awkward social moment, like a bungled hug or near-miss kiss?

Acknowledge it openly ('that was awkward') rather than ignoring it, since airing it isn't malicious and can defuse tension, though repeating it too much can become a 'vibe killer'.

Should you work directly with your romantic partner in business?

Tommy and Josh agree that working with a partner is difficult and that clearly separated roles, like a 'yin and yang' dynamic, help make partnerships work; Josh notes he and his partner Bree decided against formally working together and that some separation can be best.

How can you build better habits around giving compliments?

Tommy suggests trying to implement a compliment a day for someone else in your life, noting that he and Josh tend to default to giving each other criticism instead.

What phone should I give my kid?

Give kids the cheapest phone available rather than an expensive one, since they're likely to break it and otherwise expect a replacement of equal value.

How do you decide whether a daycare/apartment cost tradeoff is worth it?

Tommy explains working through the math of moving to a cheaper daycare versus paying more rent to live closer, weighing out-of-pocket costs against convenience and quality.

How do you keep indoor plants alive at home or the office?

Rather than picking plants you like, ask a knowledgeable person what plants are hard to kill and get those, since not all plants are easy to maintain.

What should you do when a toddler is having a public meltdown?

Tommy suggests there's little you can actively do except wait it out — it's painful and draining for the parent, but the meltdown will end on its own, and other people's well-meaning attempts to help or entertain the child usually don't work.

How can I apply minimalism to my life once I have kids?

Start with the question 'How might your life be better with less?' to identify what you value, and don't impose values on your children; instead model the benefits and let them keep an appropriate amount of possessions rather than depriving them.

How do you separate professional work from favors for friends and family?

Decide in advance whether a given interaction is a professional one (charge, scrub up, perform to standard) or a personal one (free, as a friend) — don't blur the two or you'll constantly have to re-decide in the moment.

How should parents handle a child's demand for attention while busy?

It's okay to tell a child you need to finish a task first rather than instantly dropping everything; children can be fine without immediate attention every time they demand it.

Should parents try to be strict minimalists with their kids' toys?

Relaying Derek Sivers' experience, Josh notes that giving a child only one toy can backfire—seeing his kid enjoy a full toy box made Sivers feel guilty, leading him to conclude that creativity often comes from combining multiple toys, so minimalism can't be fully applied to parenting.

What should you do if your kid is being feral in public?

Based on observing a father who walked out of a restaurant and calmly paced outside while his overwhelmed child settled down alone, Josh suggests removing yourself from the situation (rather than confronting the child) may help the child reset.

How do you manage screen time with a toddler without it becoming a crutch?

Read the situation in the moment and consider whether giving in to screen time is about genuinely helping your child or just pacifying them for your own convenience; be strong enough sometimes to resist using a device just to stop a child's tantrum, even though it's harder in the moment.

How should family members handle a loved one's addiction?

Don't absorb or mop up the consequences of their using, which only enables continued behaviour. Instead, 'detach with love': set firm boundaries about what you will and won't accept in your life, make clear you care about them, and require that they seek help themselves before you offer ongoing support.

How can you talk to someone struggling with addiction in a way that actually helps?

Avoid shaming language like calling them a scumbag; instead use empathetic language that reminds them they're not acting like the person they really are. These words act as 'planted seeds' the person recalls later at a low point, making you the person they come back to for help — but any offer of help must come with an actual solution, not just empathy.

How can you avoid tech support nightmares with aging parents?

Just write your password down somewhere, or use a password manager like LastPass, so you never get locked out of accounts — according to Josh, that's the one tech problem he genuinely can't help fix after the fact.

How do you handle getting annoyed at a small family request?

Recognise when you're reacting like 'an asshole' in the moment, and even if you don't get credit for later help, step back, apologise, and remember your parents have done a lot for you and won't be around forever.

Should you try to change a child's natural handedness?

Tommy argues you shouldn't try to force a child to use a particular hand, calling it 'fucked' if a teacher or parent tries to override a kid's natural handedness; let the kid be who they are.

How can you tell if you're being authentic on camera/in podcasts?

Tommy recommends watching yourself back as a way to genuinely assess how you come across, while still being comfortable with your natural self.

How do you decide whether to take on a demanding work opportunity that affects family time?

Tommy describes using a personal filter based on his 'family first' value — weighing whether a decision is financially good, what sacrifices it requires, and whether it still puts family as the first consideration — before committing to travel for work.

How do I know if I'm ready to have a kid or get married?

Practical readiness (finances, timing) matters less than genuine emotional readiness; having everything logistically sorted doesn't help if you're not personally ready, and you should question whether your beliefs about marriage/kids are truly your own or just inherited from upbringing.

How should you handle a family member who still treats you like your old, younger self?

Recognize that both you and the people around you have changed over time, and approach the relationship with empathy rather than expecting an instant 'fresh start'; understand the other person may still be triggered by old patterns.

Should you hand a personal story over to a TV network/production company to tell?

Film and document as much as you can yourself first, because once you give a story to a TV company they control the edit and narrative; filming it yourself preserves your ability to tell the story your own way.

How should a couple announce a pregnancy to family and friends?

Tell the people you're closest to in person or by phone before posting anything on social media, to avoid them finding out secondhand.

Should you have a kid if you're consciously thinking about wanting a 'mini me'?

If you are consciously aware of wanting a child mainly to see an extension of yourself (a 'mini me'), you probably shouldn't have a kid; good parenting requires becoming selfless rather than staying selfish.

How should you choose a daycare for your child?

Factor in convenience to work (in case you need to pick up a sick child quickly) even if it costs more than cheaper council-run options, and prioritise where your child seems happiest and safest.