Reality TV Characters

Tommy: It's a very low barrier to get into the Gronk Squad.

Josh: That's crazy! We've committed to do The Daily Talk Show for 10 years.

Tommy: Say hi, guys. Hi, guys.

Josh: Put it in the calendar. I'd just like to cheque the temperature in the room. I told you my squeegee story.

Tommy: It is outrageous.

Josh: Come on, let's go. It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 947.

Tommy: It is the 28th of January. 2021.

Josh: That's what I used to do.

Tommy: Well, I've started doing it.

Josh: Used to say the weather.

Tommy: Well, it's going to be raining from 3 PM onwards today. I only know this because I need to bring in the table from outside. We've been— I mean, it's a new year, new me. New year, new us. I mean, we've all started doing lunch breaks.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Not something we thought about. Maybe because we just took long lunches.

Josh: Everything was a lunch break, wasn't it?

Tommy: Yeah. Last year was— Actually, last year was from home. And so, having that sort of dialled-in lunch break, I just ate when I wanted, probably multiple times.

Josh: It was a real problem for me.

Tommy: A lot of people did. What do they call it? The COVID 10?

Josh: COVID kilos. COVID kilos. I don't think you can say that.

Tommy: Why can't you say that?

Josh: I don't know.

Tommy: If you're saying that to somebody—

Josh: We've been criticised on Apple reviews. Feel free to leave us a review, by the way. Yeah. But we did get a 3-star review, which was Enjoy the banter, but this show is fatphobic.

Tommy: Well, I don't agree with just coming out and saying, whoa, look at your COVID kilos. That's a bit outrageous.

Josh: But if you're talking about yourself, it's all self-hate.

Tommy: I know. And you can self-hate. And then if someone hates on you self-hating or they take that as it's an attack at them, they're hating on themselves. It's just a vicious cycle. Anyway, started doing lunch breaks. Georgie and I, you know, sitting out there just—

Josh: What are you fucking doing? I'm trying to be more professional. I feel like Eddie Maguire. I'm writing down notes.

Tommy: He's writing— But the problem was you are writing on a yellow legal pad, which sticks out from me looking at you. Yes. And you're holding eye contact. There's something about doing anything, doing anything, taking a piss and having eye contact with somebody.

Josh: Oh, definitely.

Tommy: It's like a video I sent you yesterday of a guy making this ginormous— ginormous burger, but he just looked down the barrel of the camera.

Josh: It was very funny. Did your psychologist, would she write things down as you talked?

Tommy: There was definitely, yes. Actually, I'm just thinking about the one from last year, early last year. The new one?

Josh: Well, you're not talking about it, I feel like.

Tommy: No, her business isn't there anymore. It's a beauty salon. In fact, the—

Josh: You came out with your nails done and was like, how'd you go? I don't know. What do you think? I went with chambray. Is chambray a thing? Is chambray— Jean material. No, I think you were close.

Tommy: Chambray is— Hombray?

Josh: Hombray. There's a chambray and a hombray. One of them is where you do the little bleachy bit. Where's Gem Watts when you need her? Bleachy bit. And then the other one is the— I had some nice chambray shirts.

Tommy: Shellac is your nails. Shellac.

Josh: But I was thinking actually like more like a gradient look. Like, you know, remember the tips? Like you're getting your tips a different colour.

Tommy: Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, that place is now my old psychologist is a beauty salon that does laser hair removal, which is Amy suggested to me last night.

Josh: Oh, that's good.

Tommy: They do IPL. How about getting it for your back?

Josh: I like the idea. I would go, for me, neckbeard. You'll notice if you watch the first episodes of the Daily Talk Show being back. Yeah. Bree confronted me about the way that I shaved the line. She thought it looked really tacky. And so, I stopped shaving like my neck. And then it just looked— I saw myself on the show. I'm like, you know what? I think Bri's wrong here. I think I need to shave my neck.

Tommy: Is that you cracking it and saying, like, I'm not shaving my neck then? You give me any criticism.

Josh: No. So, Bri said, no, I don't think you like shave, like, I don't do the line. But I think I went too high once.

Tommy: And it looked like a headset.

Josh: Yes.

Tommy: She did a Craig David line.

Josh: Yeah. And so, anyway, I— But so, you're going to get your back done. How much? How many sessions?

Tommy: Oh, I don't know. My brother's had it done. It's something about that. It's like, yeah, 300. But it definitely thins it out. It thins it out. Like, my bro has much less back hair now.

Josh: That's good.

Tommy: And so, it is a thought. I don't know if I want to invest that time or money at this point in my life.

Josh: Makes sense.

Tommy: I think Amy just wants me to do it so she can snuggle up. So, she can be the dustpan. No, so she can justify doing her back thing. Getting her legs done.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: And so—

Josh: Wouldn't it just be easy if you just say, hey, you can get your legs done and I don't need to get my back done?

Tommy: Yeah, but you know when you're making purchases—

Josh: We were just talking about this. We made a work purchase and then all of a sudden Jess says, well, I want a keyboard and mouse. I mean, how outrageous and entitled of her. Wanting a keyboard and mouse. You've got a whole computer. It didn't, it didn't play out like that. It's her computer, isn't it? Okay, it makes sense. What about the screen? No, that's from her dad's work.

Tommy: We could get her on an old Mac, iMac, and she'd leave the business. It's, no, anyway, doing anything while eyeballing somebody is weird. And you were just writing down on your legal pad while looking me in the eyes and I couldn't handle it.

Josh: On the lunch thing. You didn't see this, but before Jess was making a salad with mango in it and we went to Aldi to get the mango. And as we were checking out, the guy was processing all, you know, like they did the beep, beep, beep, you can cheque out.

Tommy: Classic. Yeah.

Josh: And he dropped the mango.

Tommy: Absolutely not.

Josh: And so, he had to, he's like, oh, just give me a second. I'm going to go get you another mango. He went and got 2 mangoes and he said, pick one, which I thought was good.

Tommy: Mate, that is service.

Josh: That is really good service.

Tommy: Just the Abbotsford Aldi.

Josh: The options.

Tommy: The options. You can't, like, you wouldn't trust. I wouldn't necessarily out of the box trust the opinion. It's all subjective. It's like avocados.

Josh: And so, anyway, but when Jess got back, she said, oh, my mangoes were manhandled. And so, that's not a euphemism. They were actually, her mangoes were manhandled. And so, she washed them using the, like, the sponge stick thing that we have in the kitchen. Don't you think that's revolting?

Tommy: What's she doing with the mango skin, though?

Josh: She was chucking it anyway. Yeah.

Tommy: And so, that's where, I mean, it would have been better just to put her mango underneath the tap.

Josh: Yeah. Well, that's why I'm like, yeah.

Tommy: And just washed it with her hands.

Josh: I think she was doing it for dramatic effect. You'd think she tried to give George her fish skin, which is disgusting.

Tommy: See, this is the thing. The reason I brought up the the whole lunchtime breaks that we're taking here and making sure we are taking is you start to see things come out in people. You start to see little nuances like George and I, some good banter about, you know, what'd you have growing up?

Josh: What does that mean?

Tommy: Like, what did you have for lunch growing up at school? And his mum would make him, you know, salads and like take to the— take to school with mayo on the side.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: I said, what kid were you? What do you mean? What number across the kit? Third. Well, she's refined, you know, you're refined, you refined your skills by the third. Maybe you were doing, maybe you, maybe she was doing, you know, a 6-meal degustation.

Josh: I think you could actually get better. So, when like when I was finishing school, like sort of Year 11, Year 12, when Bree started living with us, Mum started like upping her game, would do like paninis with salami and olives and all that sort of shit. But there's just something, um, it was nice.

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, it is. You see, like, I see my mum getting more interested in what she was doing for food-wise, like cooking, like now through the roof compared to when we were kids. Mum's food was good when we were kids, but there's a difference.

Josh: What is she cooking now?

Tommy: Oh, just beautiful salad, like raw salads and lots of different stuff, but Thinking about being a father to the second, I feel like I'm better now. You get better. Whatever you do, if you do it again, you'll be better at it. Like, I feel more present in the moment than with Bodhi. Like, at this stage where you're just like, you're freaking out, you're about to shift your life completely. And so, I mean—

Josh: So, are you sort of not investing as much in— Is that the idea? It's like— In Bodhi?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: No, absolutely investing.

Tommy: A lot. It's a different, it's going to be a different vibe. We're going to be, we're going to have to be solid, you know, daddy and buddy time when the baby comes, even more so, I think. Yeah. To showing that support.

Josh: Do you have many of those close friends on Instagram where that shows up as a green circle?

Tommy: Am I a part of other people's close? Yes. Okay. Maybe 2 or 3.

Josh: It's nice, isn't it?

Tommy: Well, Is it?

Josh: Because you don't realise how close you are. Well, so almost like when I get a, when I see green circle, I'm like, oh yeah, I didn't realise. Like, I almost like, let me see if any come up right now. Go to text them and say, hey, yes, so, saw your close friend post.

Tommy: The people who you're not that close with who put a green one for you. I get it, I get it. None. None. Can you shorten up?

Josh: Oh no, so I would probably only get 1 or 2 a day. But I love it. I mean, if you're doing it, if you are my close friend, if you're doing that, I really enjoy it. But it did get me thinking around, would I, would I do that? Is there a need for me to do that?

Tommy: So, you can cheque if you've done it before. There's a close friends area.

Josh: And so, it's automatically generated. So, the funny thing is that the way that it looks like it generates it is the Instagram accounts that you've either interacted with or gone to. And so, I think that if Some people may have accidentally done a close friends post and then it really reveals that they're checking your profile a lot.

Tommy: No. So, I don't believe that's true. I don't believe that's true because I set my close friends. I set my close friends.

Josh: So, you can set them, but I think that it will give— Rick has a default one. No. No. No. So, okay.

Tommy: Here's who are in my close friends, which—

Josh: In order. Do it in order.

Tommy: Yeah. Just from top to bottom. Anthony Jackett, Jules Lund, Brett Fitzpatrick, Michael Jackett, Rhys Mitchell, Amy Hooker, Josh Janson.

Josh: Is there anyone else?

Tommy: No, that's it. So there's 4, 5, 6, 7. There's 7 in there. But I remember when the function came out and I started to just put a few people in there, but then I stopped very quickly. I was like, I'm not doing that. But Reece Mitchell is the probably one standout who posts, you know, um, his mates posts like his close friends. But maybe Reece has got 50 in there.

Josh: It's hard also with social media if you have an opinion on, I don't want my kids posted or I don't want this or I don't want this sort of information, like keeping that under wraps, I feel like is quite hard when you're like going to birthday parties or—

Tommy: It's very, like, it's very calculated. You think about if you have a page where you have thousands of people who follow you and then you're deciding on that page to do what is close friend content? Like, you're blurring the lines here. Or like, you— it could be what kind of stuff, how different is it going to be? It could be your kids or something.

Josh: But sometimes it can be sad stuff, all the depressing things. I fucking hate my job, that sort of thing.

Tommy: But on the same account, dangerous.

Josh: What do you think the terrorists are saying? I wonder if they've got close friends that we don't know about.

Tommy: Yeah, maybe. I mean, it's— yeah, it's a weird function. Anyway, I'm not using it. It's— I refuse to use it.

Josh: The keyboard. I'm just going through my list. I just—

Tommy: You didn't eye contact me, you just crossed it out.

Josh: I just did a little swivel. It's very—

Tommy: He has a box says end and then he ticks it every time.

Josh: The keyboard.

Tommy: Oh, mate.

Josh: I spent like— So, it was for my birthday, remember? I'm sure I've spoken about it on the show. George, play that clip.

Tommy: No, it was remote. We were— It was last year. We weren't all working in the same office. You had a tiny little shoebox of a home office. And fast internet, though.

Josh: Very good. Very good.

Tommy: You know, what was lacking in size made up with speed. And that's when you got it. And so, there was no— It was for you to do script writing. I don't know. It's just one of your purchases once again.

Josh: And so, it got me excited about sending email.. And then within 10 minutes of using it today, I had headphones on, but you guys are yelling at me that I can't use the keyboard anymore.

Tommy: Because it's one of those, it'd be—

Josh: It's a mechanical keyboard.

Tommy: It's the same as someone in an office just doing this.

Josh: Just chewing, chewing gum. But we all do that, though.

Tommy: Well, a lot of us do it with our mouth closed. Just ate the chewy. But the sound of the keyboard is phenomenal. Thank you. It's got depth. Each key sinks in like a, you know, a gumboot in mud. Real, but much smoother out.

Josh: It feels like I'm writing a novel.

Tommy: Well, the feeling.

Josh: But I'm writing an email to a client.

Tommy: Sounds shit.

Josh: But do you think that if you were using it, you would get around it?

Tommy: No, I tried to use it. Horrible. I don't want my fingers feeling like they're being inserted into, you know, you know, anything. Like, I don't want to— It's like they get depth. They get depth. And so, it's like your finger, if you're looking from side profile, your finger disappears into a hole. And so, that's a good—

Josh: I want a side profile shot of me just going, Anyway, I can't use it anymore, which is very annoying.

Tommy: Well, it was a purchase for home.

Josh: He just crossed out keyboard.

Tommy: Just crossed it out.

Josh: Do you think it's good? The show's feeling good. Yeah. Don't you think? Bang, bang, bang.

Tommy: Yeah. So, you can't bring up the pad again. We can't bring that up again every episode when you're crossing shit out.

Josh: No, no. But you got to do it the first time. And so, but are you going to use it at home? Like if you don't have—

Tommy: No, no, no. You got to think about— This is the thing. You got to think about other people in an office, which is something we didn't do last year because we're just at home thinking about ourselves. I mean, at home last year, I was, I was putting— I was sliding across the bloody wooden floorboards on, you know, detergent, making stupid TikTok videos. I was dancing and doing livestreams. You were dancing. You were, you know, you were doing a whole bunch of crazy shit.

Josh: I caught myself on Instagram saying to Bri, who would watch this? And then I remember the type of content that I did last year. And still do, like what we're doing right now. Reality shows. I mentioned it a couple of days ago about Timmy and Wit, and we talked about, you know, people were saying that, by the way, Timmy is way more childish than Tommy as a name.

Tommy: Infantile. Someone wrote to me and said it's a lot more infantile. Yeah. I hadn't heard of that used in that way.

Josh: Yeah, it's a good word.

Tommy: But yeah, definitely.

Josh: But anyway, so I've been watching The City. Which I've mentioned a couple of times, I think. I don't know if I've mentioned it on the show, but Bri and I have been watching 3 episodes a night. They go for about 20 minutes each.

Tommy: That's awesome. I mean, we all need our sort of—

Josh: I'm a TV guy. Like, there is something fun. Do you know the other thing? Buying something from iTunes feels very posh.

Tommy: A movie?

Josh: Yeah, just like a TV show.

Tommy: Well, we— I would do that back in the day a fair bit, but actually, This was before Netflix. Fuck. This is 2011, before a gronk like me knew how to get Netflix. You've probably had it since 1998 somehow.

Josh: Well, they were doing, I think they launched in '99, but they did CDs and actually sending out DVDs.

Tommy: Anyway, I remember I would buy that, you know, you get your 48 hours of—

Josh: If it was a rental. Yeah.

Tommy: Rental. You buy the films.

Josh: Yeah, you buy them.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: So, for a season. So, for a season of—

Tommy: Can't you rent it?

Josh: No, not for the TV show. No. For movies you can rent.

Tommy: Yes.

Josh: But the TV shows, it's like for a whole season, $19.95.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: So, we've gotten rid of it, but we've gotten rid of Stan and a bunch of the other services, and we just buy the content that we want.

Tommy: Really?

Josh: Good or bad, do you think?

Tommy: I mean, more expensive.

Josh: Do you think?

Tommy: Well, if you do one a week at $19. You're going to have—

Josh: But you get the stuff that you want. You're not getting into that sort of Netflix rabbit hole of just—

Tommy: Yeah. But there's a lot of stuff that I want on those platforms.

Josh: So, the thing that the Apple TV has, I don't know if you've noticed, but you can search and it will go through and say, this is where you can watch it. And it could be on Binge or Netflix, or it will say you can buy it on iTunes. And so, if it's not available anywhere else, on the services that we have. We have Netflix at the moment.

Tommy: One really cool tip, which I can't really give you all the information on it. So, it's a bit of a hack, but I can't, you know, complete the hack.

Josh: Piracy.

Tommy: There is— No, no, no. There is a command on Mac computers that you can press Command something. It's probably known as that. And then another button. And it brings up a trailers window where you can watch trailers of films that you can buy.

Josh: Oh, yeah.

Tommy: GB, can you find that and text it to me? Thanks, mate. He's up listening upstairs. He's my PA in my ear, but he doesn't respond. Yeah, it's like a man in the cloud.

Josh: Yeah, you're in his ear.

Tommy: I'm in his ear. He's not in mine. But I'd like a text message with what the command is to pull up the iTunes trailer section.

Josh: You got it. You need a notepad. The one thing that I loved with the Macs back in the day that they don't do it anymore, you could press, it was like Command Option Control and then 8 or F8, I can't remember which one, and it would invert your entire screen. So change all the colors. Oh no, so you could die if you've accidentally pressed that. You could— there was another hack that you could do where it's like puts everything in slow motion on the computer. So when you press the Finder, it goes and like really slowly. That's cool, which is cool.

Tommy: Um, what about like auto, um, AutoScribe or it just starts reading out any text on the screen.

Josh: Oh, yeah. That's it.

Tommy: That's a good one too. That is a nightmare, though, because some of these ones, if you turn them on by accident—

Josh: Hard to turn off. Yeah.

Tommy: Well, it's like if you remember, this is probably a really annoying thing to do to your friends, but if you could remember how to— the sequence of buttons to get to changing your phone to Japanese.

Josh: Yeah, that's annoying.

Tommy: It'd be, you know, unless you read Japanese.

Josh: But the— So, we've been watching The City.. And I have been getting so angry at some of the characters. So, it's a reality show. So, Whitney Port, who was on The Hills.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: She's moved to New York and she's got a new job at Kelly Cutrone's PR agency, People's Revolution.

Tommy: And— Cutthroat, that, you know.

Josh: It is.

Tommy: They wouldn't take lunch at that business.

Josh: Kelly, the manager, says, if you want to cry, go outside, which I think is a great thing to stand by.

Tommy: They take down everyone else.

Josh: She's vicious. It's awesome. Some of the people were having a fight and she said, this isn't fucking group therapy. That's right. Yeah, she's really good. Anyway, she wears all black. She's got a real vibe. But there's a person on there named Olivia, and this isn't going to mean anything for anyone who doesn't watch The City. But if you do watch The City, you're jamming. You get what I'm saying? Anyway, Olivia works at Elle magazine. Yeah, she was the accessories editor, and then she had a falling out with Aaron, who was the public, uh, public relations, the PR director at Elle. And Aaron says, uh, to Joe, who's the manager, says It's either me or her, which is a big thing to say. You shouldn't say that. Anyway, they ended up moving Olivia to Elle.com to do some video recording and all that sort of thing. And Whitney, who works at People's Revolution, she had a fashion line and she had sort of a showing. And Olivia, who was working on Elle.com was meant to go and cover Whitney's new range, and they'd worked together previously, and Olivia just never showed up and was a real asshole to Whit. And I haven't been more angry about it.

Tommy: You got halfway through that and I was thinking, why the fuck are you telling me this? But you brought it back at the end saying that you're angry about it.

Josh: Yeah, I like the—

Tommy: And so you're angry about reality television.

Josh: Whit was saying the B-word. You can't say the B-word anymore. Bitch. Yeah, bitch is like Calling her a bitch. Yeah, she's like, bitch. Like, but like, by all accounts, Olivia was being an asshole. She was being a real, real piece of work. Yeah. Like, but it's funny because we watch it and I just get angry. I just sit there, I sit on the couch just getting angry. Am I pathetic? Yeah.

Tommy: Yeah. Yeah. But that's exactly what that show is.

Josh: Olivia is more pathetic. Like, she's a real piece of work.

Tommy: Olivia's getting paid to be an asshole. They're making money off that show. It's, uh, you know.

Josh: But then the funny thing with reality shows.

Tommy: You're sadder than them.

Josh: But you can go online and you can see what they're all doing now. What are they up to? So, you can sort of. Well, so, Erin, who had the falling out with Olivia, now works at Architect's Digest. Architectural Digest. Yeah.

Tommy: She's gone classy. I mean, those magazines.

Josh: Well, Elle was big, like the big budgets, big budgets that were sort of very relevant.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: But anyway. The City I'm Loving at the moment, up to season 2. And the other series I'm watching, which is great, is called Rebel Without a Crew, which is about filmmakers.

Tommy: That sounds better. That sounds— I mean, this is the thing about making—

Josh: $3.49 an episode though.

Tommy: That's expensive.

Josh: Yeah. So you fucking— you're burning cash at that point.

Tommy: How much money have you spent on trash TV recently? I wish you could—

Josh: It's cheaper than going to the movies. Yeah. Cheaper than going to the movies.

Tommy: Yeah. And safer.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: At this point. Anyway, it's—

Josh: If you dislike Olivia, send us an email. Hi@thedailytalkshow.com. Actually, send me a personal email, josh@thedailytalkshow.com. Because, yeah, I've just— I feel like there's— Because it's not a show that's on, you see why live TV Or TV, you know, traditional TV is interesting because you can all be like, oh my God, like you can be texting your friends and bitching. Yeah, you can't do that. And so it feels a little bit random. Yeah, I know Gem watches it. And so I was going to text like, how outrageous is Olivia?

Tommy: It's very just specific, isn't it?

Josh: Yeah, it's—

Tommy: I went down that Jersey Shore rabbit hole back in the day. It's fun, but it was at the time that it was all coming out.

Josh: Yeah. But don't you think it like there is There's an element of nostalgia to it. There's an element like it is really like.

Tommy: Is someone watching, I don't know, Big Brother first season, second season?

Josh: I just feel like all of those things, like I'm a Celebrity, all that stuff. It's not. Oh, you've got a text message. Yeah.

Tommy: George says, can't find it anywhere. I reckon you've made it up. I did, however, find a trailer for the film Shortcut available on iTunes. I'm going to absolutely go out there and.

Josh: You'll find it out. Can you put it in the show notes?

Tommy: Uh, maybe if I find— if it's not there, I— yeah, I made it up. But I don't think I did because maybe it was a function of an old operating system.

Josh: Could you just Command+Spacebar, type in TV? Like, is there a show? Like a—

Tommy: It was bizarre, dude. It would like take you to a new—

Josh: And you would just do it all the time?

Tommy: Yeah, I was watching trailers. I was like, fucking, this is sick. See what's out. So it was just like shortcut to the iTunes library. But then they've changed all the stores and shit anyway. George?

Josh: No, I've got nothing else on my—

Tommy: Thanks for nothing.

Josh: No, it's been fun. I'm, uh, I've cracked it at George and I'm upset at Olivia from the city.

Tommy: All right, well, we'll finish it there.

Josh: Uh, if you would like to secure a cup, we're working out how much they're going to cost and all that sort of thing. But, uh, if you like the idea of a big cup of these things— Yeah, these are 32 ounces. To give you an idea, that is around a litre. It's a litre cup. These are stadium-style cups. So, you imagine you go to a ball game, you go to the basketball, you go to the— I don't know.

Tommy: Nah, I think it's a movie cup in Australia.

Josh: Yes.

Tommy: Oh, that's a fuck.

Josh: That's a great—

Tommy: It's a movie cup.

Josh: Yes, yes, yes.

Tommy: Big. You can still get them. Big cups for—

Josh: What do they charge?

Tommy: At least $11, I reckon. $10.95 with drink.

Josh: Do we have to give them with drink?

Tommy: Absolutely not. But there's branding on these cups.

Josh: Yeah. So, the Daily Talk Show, they're yellow. If you go to bigcupcompany.com, You can register there and in the next 3 weeks, we will have them. We only have a limited amount of stock. So, put your amount in and then we'll email them and work it out. They're going to be a pain in the ass to ship. So, we are looking at some sort of option where we have Open Office Cup Hours where George is sitting downstairs with a— I don't know, some sort of stall.

Tommy: Yeah, or a fishing rod off the side, a pulley system from our penthouse down to the ground floor.

Josh: Yeah, okay. All right, it's a daily talk show. Enjoy your day, guys. Have a good one.

Tommy: See you guys.