Pets & The Family Man

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 815.

Tommy: Happy weekend, banter, gronks. What's happening? What's going on? Welcome boys, welcome Georgie boy and Sevs. How are we?

George: Thanks, yeah, good.

Josh: Um, it's been a while. Yeah, real funny. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Happy to be here.

George: Yeah, I mean I haven't been on the show for about 2 weeks, so yeah, can't help but notice that, uh, that downloads have been skyrocketing. But, uh, happy to be back.

Tommy: That's all hump day, mate. It's all hump day.

Josh: Yeah, it is a big push.

George: It is.

Tommy: And how are you, Sevs? Look at you.

Mason: I feel— I'm feeling good. Had a, had a little gin last night with the family, played a few board games, um, Yeah, I'm feeling great.

Tommy: Do you reckon if you told yourself at 15, like, in 5 years' time you are going to have a girlfriend that's moved over, you're going to be drinking gin with your parents playing board games— is that the guy that you thought you would have become, or, or is it slightly off?

Mason: Uh, I don't know if I would have thought that, but I think it's a good guy to become, a real family man.

Josh: There's no doubt that you've become a beautiful human being, but I don't know if you could have predicted that.

Tommy: Hang on, hang on. Is that— to be called a family man, is that someone who just still lives at home and hangs out with their family, or someone who's created a family and really holds family as a true value for themselves?

Josh: I like this. I like Mason being the great dad.

Mason: Mason's a great dad.

George: Yeah, no, I'm a great dad. Great dad, Seb.

Tommy: Yeah, welcome, mate.

George: Talking about?

Tommy: You're touching the title. How's it feel?

Mason: It feels great. It feels great.

Josh: How do you feel, uh, Mason? Yesterday you had nuggets, which you sent it to me, I think about 4 PM, the screen grab. It's sort of a weird time. Not breakfast, not lunch, not dinner.

Tommy: Um, yeah.

Josh: Why? How were they?

Mason: Well, so the nuggets have been something that I've wanted, and Grace has been pushing back because she doesn't want me to feel shit after having them, which I completely understand. And so the little workaround was we can get nuggets and a 20-pack of nuggets with some fries.

Josh: That's a family man move, isn't it?

Tommy: 20 nuggets, you know, cater for the family.

Mason: Yeah, well, so yeah, so we got a 20-pack of nuggets and chips and a drink, and we wanted to also To balance it out, Grace made a platter of veggies, just like a few carrot sticks, a few red peppers, a bit of hummus, which still hasn't been eaten.

Josh: Is it true that you didn't like the hummus because it wasn't organic?

Tommy: Yeah. Real dad move. Real dad Trump move.

Mason: It's got pine nuts in the hummus. It's— which I just don't—

George: hang on, hang on.

Mason: I just don't appreciate— yeah, I just don't appreciate pine nuts in hummus. I just don't think they're meant to go in there. Um, yeah, it is. But anyway, so we had, we had Macca's for afternoon tea and it was great. And I think the best part of all is I went to do the Uber— I went to do the, the payment on Uber Eats and it automatically defaulted to mum's card.

Josh: Family man, family man.

Mason: Yeah, family.

Josh: I mean, I feel like, um, afternoon tea McDonald's is sort of, um, oh I mean, you only get that if you've gone to a funeral. Like, I think that's a very special occasion. Like, everyone's a bit sad. Let's go, fuck it.

Tommy: Like, is this a cry for help?

George: Cry for help?

Tommy: Do you need saving?

Mason: What's going on? No, because we were— tonight's date night, so we didn't want to do it today. And then, I mean, yeah, you just—

Tommy: can you just run me through— can you run me through what date night looks like while living at home while in iso? Because I don't— I can't grapple this.

Mason: So what we've got, we've got a movie, we've got The Departed that we're watching tonight. And we've—

Josh: did your dad pick that, or who picked it?

Mason: No, no, I've, I've wanted to watch it.

Josh: Okay, good.

Mason: So yeah, so we've got, we've got that movie to watch, and then we've put in an order for Mr. Bianco in queue, which is like Italian food. So we've got a bit of, um, I think it's gnocchi and also uh, slow-cooked wagyu. And so what we'll do is we have a little bedside table that we move into the middle of the room and we put the iMac on it and we watch the movie. And then we set up the picnic rug with a few cushions behind us and we, we ate dinner there and end up watching the movie.

Tommy: So is that on the ground or you're on your bed?

Mason: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, on the ground. We— the bed's a bit risky because we don't want to, you know, No food on the bed. Spill the wagyu in there.

George: Yeah, and watch, watch the movie on the floor.

Mason: Yeah, watching the movie on the floor.

Josh: Yeah, that's nice.

Tommy: Oh, that's cute.

Mason: Heater on.

Tommy: That is nice. Is that this heater that you took from the office?

Mason: No, no, we've returned— yeah, no, we've returned that. I think Dad, Dad, Dad got us another, another heater.

Josh: Did he?

Mason: Yeah, I didn't realise he was gonna go, oh, just a real big one, a big one of those oil radiator things.

Josh: And so do people know, do the family know that tonight is date night? Like, does anything change in the whole house?

Mason: Nah, not really. I mean, it's sort of just like, do we, we have the heater, Grace says.

Josh: Where is it?

Mason: Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. We still, we still have the heater. Um, no, nothing really changes. I mean, we just, we just shut the, you can hear Abby like scratching at the door because she can smell the food. Outside of that, yeah, outside of that, like, they just have dinner and—

Josh: yeah.

Tommy: Can I just ask, um, Grace moved over pre, uh, lot stage 4, so this is a while ago, and was obviously staying with you. Um, clearly can't just be going and living somewhere else right now. Is, um, what is— I mean, what's the plan? Is Are you and Grace just living together moving forward, or what's happening?

Mason: Yeah, for the moment, yeah, 'cause I mean, it's a bit hard and you can't really go anywhere. And then just like the whole thing of just going to find a house and getting a job and all that sort of stuff. But I think, yeah, for the, I guess, for the next bit of, end of— I could, I don't know, like the end of all— all to the end of the year, like, she's going to be staying with me.

Tommy: So yeah, until your parents realise how much money you guys have spent on their Uber Eats for you out, and they're just like, you're both fucked, man.

Josh: How do you feel after the nuggets, Mase?

Mason: I'm feeling good. No, I'm feeling— I felt fired up after them. The barbecue sauce was great. And then, um, don't know about the sweet and sour sauce. I wouldn't recommend that if you're gonna get chicken nuggets.

Josh: It is the—

Tommy: it's the go-to, mate.

George: It's chicken and avocado.

Tommy: You're not converting a whole nation of people that are using sweet and sour sauce.

Mason: Barbecue is absolutely the way to go if you're getting chicken nuggets.

Tommy: I'm pretty sure if you don't ask for sauce, it comes with sweet and sour. So it's like— it is not something—

Josh: that's not true that you don't get free sauce with nuggets. That's crazy stuff.

Tommy: What do you mean you don't get free sauce?

Mason: No, no, you do. You do get free sauce.

George: What do you mean?

Tommy: Yeah, yeah.

Mason: What are you talking about? So when we went through the Uber Eats order, we had 3 There's, there are 3 opportunities.

Josh: Oh, this is right with nuggets. Yeah, we're always having to get sauce because we're not actually ordering nuggets, we're getting fried chippies. I apologize.

Tommy: You can ask though, they'll give it to you for free.

Josh: No, absolutely not. No, no, they charge.

Tommy: Hang on, this is— so they charge for sauce at 7-Eleven?

Josh: Yes.

George: Yeah, if you're not getting—

Tommy: that's, that's news to me.

Josh: Ketchup? Um, no, no, because ketchup I think is in like, it's in a different sort of container that's in like a, like a sachet or whatever, whereas the, um, the sauces are in like the plastic thing. But hang on, I would still argue you're not getting Uber Eats. No, this is live.

Tommy: Yeah, look, I trust you, but I just feel like I've never paid because you know me, I'd blow up at 50 cents charge any day of the week. Like, I, I don't remember ever being charged. I don't think I've ever been charged for sauce at McDonald's.

Mason: Really?

Tommy: Surely, Seb.

Mason: I'm just on Uber Eats now.

Tommy: Uber Eats, do we want—

Mason: I could imagine— what are we— are we doing— what, what do we want to order?

Tommy: Just like a cheeseburger meal and see if— guys, if it's—

Josh: we don't even have to. I just— I know, I know that they, um, they charge. They charge.

Tommy: Dogs. Absolute dogs. Back in the day, remember, used to be able to just get sauce.

Josh: Uh, I don't remember back in the day. I've, I've always remembered sweet and sour sauce.

Mason: 55 cents.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, I'm not eating Macca's ever again.

Mason: Yuck.

George: I mean, the chicken sauce with the, with the nugs is a good little—

Josh: what is it?

George: Little hack. Delicious. You get nugs but you get McChicken sauce.

Josh: Oh, that's interesting.

George: Oh yeah, yeah.

Mason: What's McChicken sauce?

George: What's the sauce that goes on the McChicken burger?

Josh: So it's—

Mason: yeah, never had a McChicken.

Josh: Have you, um, has anyone had a, uh, Filet-O-Fish?

George: Filler?

Josh: Filler fish?

Tommy: Amy's go-to. She loves that one.

George: Yeah, my sister's got it as well.

Tommy: Fuck, I got, I got a bi-axle once. It was so annoying. I was just like, that one, when I was young, I was like, oh no. They're not, they're not the worst thing on earth.

Josh: Like, they actually aren't that bad, but if that's what you're getting, a big fish finger.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. Um, have you seen something that's been sort of, I think, I don't know if it's taken off But there's been a lot of social media posts about it. Cinnamon scrolls. And so, there's like, these are not new, but I feel like it's becoming a donut, you know, like the craze of doughnuts and there was the craze of— What else is there? Fucking—

Josh: It's like hot people have just discovered them. It's like I've been eating them for years. It's like, guys, I've got this great recipe. Like, are you kidding me? What the fuck? Like— Yeah. Are you talking about cinnamon buns? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, legit.

Tommy: But there is a, there's a place, there's a place called Cinnamon Scrolls in South Yarra. And if I had the option of a doughnut or one of these at the moment, I would be going a cinnamon scroll. These things look off their face. They look real good.

Josh: And so, is it like a, 'cause we had cinnamon scrolls from IKEA, which I felt tasted synthetic. I didn't like it.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: So, it's like that, but— And then these things have just like a layer of icing poured all over them or whatever it is, layer of, you know, topping.

Josh: Yeah. The icing is delicious.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: Yeah. It just looks— It's like they put a tray of them and then they blanket the whole thing in icing. Can you get that stupid cat behind you and bring it up to the camera?

Josh: Oh, here we go.

Tommy: I just saw $1,000 walking on the floor. What is that? How is money walking? That is crazy that you've got a stack of cash.

Josh: So this is my cat.

George: He's, uh, he's got a cone on his head.

Josh: Um, it's a very Melbourne-esque cone. It's, it's like, um, yeah, it's made of the same material as the masks. It looks high quality.

George: Yeah, bespoke, real high quality. Yeah.

Josh: So what happened to your cat?

George: I think he got in a fight, which he always does, a couple of weeks ago. And, um, and he had a wound on his neck that got really infected. And so it was disgusting. It was, it was pretty big and like pussy and bloody. So I had to take him into the vet and they, they basically had to put him under and, and give him an operation, um, stitch him up. On antibiotics? Antibiotics, yeah. Um, anti-inflammatory. He's on a whole heap of drugs and they stitched him up, put a drain in his neck, took the drain out the other day. He had stitches and then 2 days ago he scratched his stitches out.

Mason: Oh no, he's fucking— he's bit down.

George: So had to take him back to the vet. Yeah, and, um, but then they're like, oh no, it's okay, it's pretty much healed. So they took the stitches out and they glued his wound back together with tissue glue. And then—

Mason: What's tissue glue? I've never heard of that.

Josh: That's a good question.

George: I think it's like, it helps the skin tissue heal.

Tommy: Oh, George, George, can you edit up a little snippet of this where each time you list off the times you went to the vet, it puts a new price of how much this is costing?

Josh: Have you got pet insurance?

George: Well, that's the thing. I actually bought— they've been asking me for ages. Every time I go to the vet, they're like, oh, you should get the— for a year, if you pay $450, you get all these things for the year. You get like free checkups.

Josh: That's like subscription.

Tommy: It's not free.

Josh: It's like, do you say, I've already got fucking Netflix and Stan. I don't need a vet.

George: Yeah. And you get like discounted, you know, discounted other stuff. Anyway. What is the discount?

Josh: I'm curious about what it is.

Mason: Hang on. Is that insurance or is that just a subscription to the vet?

Josh: This is a subscription to the vet.

George: It's a subscription to the vet. Yeah, the Fitzroy Vet. So, I end up paying for that. That was like $500. And then his operation was, I think, because of the discount, it was down to like $780 or something.

Josh: Compared to what? What was it meant to be?

George: Compared to $850 or something like that.

Josh: So, you're still out of pocket with this decision.

Tommy: It's $100 saving, but you still spent $450.

Mason: Sure. Surely 350 shares would cover the most of that, surely. When Abby's gone in for like a couple of surgeries, it covers like, um, 9 months.

Josh: You don't know anything, you just somehow—

Mason: no, you know, yeah, yeah, I actually do the claims.

Josh: Yeah, I do.

Mason: I actually have to do the— yeah, no, I do the claims because no one else will.

Josh: Family man. And so what does that look like? What's— is it hard to do?

Mason: No, you just literally get the PDF receipt that's emailed to you and upload it to their web interface, and then you get the cash back in your account.

Josh: So is it a special insurer or do you just go to like AAAMI or something like Boopa?

Mason: Nah, I don't think anyone's called it AAAMI.

Tommy: I just didn't want to confuse people by saying Amy as if it's my wife Amy.

Tommy: Yeah, we don't call it AAAMI.

Mason: I don't think so. I think it's Amy Insurance. Okay, but anyway, yeah, no, we don't say that Boopa Pet Insurance.

Tommy: If, if there was a group of humans that acted like cats do. I just go— I mean, there is, there is humans that act like cats, but if we looked at cats more like humans, we would be put— we wouldn't have them as pets because they go out and they punch on. They're out there just lurking, aggressive.

George: Like, the other day I was thinking how— what a weird life for him to just be like, I refuse to be friends with any other cat, and as soon as I see a cat, I'm just going to go and fight it. I'd rather hang out with humans that I can't talk to and just be in the house and just not be able to communicate at all. I don't get it.

Josh: Do you think—

George: Anyway, do you think that—

Josh: What's your cat's name?

George: Spencer.

Josh: Spencer. Do you think Spencer knows about the COVID stuff? Do you get a sense that he's changed? Do you think he's extra stressed at the moment?

George: No, he just wants to go outside really badly now. He's been inside for—

Josh: He's on cat keeper.

George: 2 weeks.

Josh: He's a cat keeper.

Mason: Cat keeper.

Josh: Yeah.

George: Yeah, no, he's good. He should be able to get his cone off in the next couple of days. I took it off for a bit yesterday and then he scratched his wound again.

Josh: So, you're as bad as— So, you're sort of part of the problem. Yeah, how did he scratch it the first time?

George: His cone was off.

Josh: Yeah. So, that's bad parenting.

George: Bad parenting.

Josh: Yeah, because it—

George: because what happens is, because I have the cone on there on their neck, but cats really need to lick themselves and like clean themselves. And so he gets all stressed out because he can't lick his chest or like clean his paws or anything like that. So I was being a nice dad and I took the cone off and gave— so he could have a shower, bath himself. And then just sneaky, just got a quick scratch in there and ended up ripping out the stitches.

Josh: Could there be not another way? Like, because I guess the cone is restricting Spencer's ability to touch his whole body, but would there not be some sort of solution that just isolates the cut?

George: I think there should be. Like, I think the cone's a little bit too big. It's like, it's— you can't do anything. If you pull it up above his head, how it's meant to go, he just starts walking backwards because he's got no peripherals. And you just—

Josh: with that turtleneck that you have, yeah, it's definitely dumb cat. But the turtleneck you have, I could imagine You're actually— you describing the issue with the cat cone feels like the start of a Kickstarter video that you've created as a fucking hipster. It's like, so we found a problem. So yeah, this is my turtleneck for cats. Oh, that's a great idea. I didn't even think about that. Cat neck, turtleneck. There's something there.

Mason: As if you were gonna go there. I thought you were—

Josh: no, I wasn't. You set that up. No, the turtleneck bit wasn't had nothing to do with the neck and everything to do with him just looking like he's a designer. He looks like fucking Steve Jobs making an announcement of his new product.

Tommy: Chief designer of the suit. You couldn't even wrap that neck up because it's— the wound was so raw and that stupid drain, whatever that was there, it needed to be exposed. And so your cat's the problem at this point. Those, you know, there's been pets using cones for years. And so it's not your problem. The cone's not the problem, the cat's the problem. The cat is the problem. Hey, um, in The Guardian, this was, uh, posted over in the UK back earlier this year. Um, owners warned not to kiss pets after first cat infected with coronavirus in the UK. Wow. A female— female— sorry, female Siamese cat. A female A Sami's cat has become the first animal in the UK to catch coronavirus, prompting a warning to owners not to kiss their pets. The cat from southern England believed to have caught the virus from their owner in May. It was initially— so it's the cats shouldn't be kissing the owners. So the cats can get— it's our problem, our fault. We gave cats coronavirus. That's full-on.

Josh: Do you think, TJ, you'll ever get a pet?

Tommy: Never get a cat. I saw Hot Accountant, our accountant, on Instagram putting his— like, his cat was on the table and he just like put his face into it and like kissed it on its sort of side. I'm allergic to cats. I couldn't think of anything worse than getting close to one of those little felines. A dog, yeah, definitely in the future. Not at the moment. I don't need that in my life. I don't need that stress and negativity in my life. I don't need to think about some cleaning up someone else's shit. I already got 2 people that I do that for, so I don't need a third.

Josh: Bodhi and Amy?

Tommy: Yeah, well, Amy does mine and I do hers.

Josh: It's a good way of doing it. Yeah, I mean, that's a family, man. It's a problem when you've got 5 people. Yeah, I mean Sebs, I feel like you're at the stage of a relationship where you can start talking about these big life decisions that you won't have to make for a while, like what type of dog you're going to get. Are you going to have a pet?

Mason: Yeah, so a Schnauzer and Grace really, really wants a Bernese Mountain Dog.

Josh: Well, you can't have two, can you? Schnauzer, let's have a good schnauzer.

Tommy: She's already got one. She's already got one. You are the Bernese Mountain Dog, aren't you?

George: Yeah.

Josh: So, Schnauzer is Abby. Is Abby a Schnauzer?

Mason: Abby is a Schnauzer, yeah.

George: Okay.

Mason: I do like a Schnauzer. Not a fan.

Tommy: Not a fan.

Mason: She barks a little bit too much.

Tommy: Yeah, but hang on. That's the point. They're yappy. What do you like about the yappy dog?

Mason: Because she's a guard dog. And so, that's only when people come to the house.

Tommy: That's like, that's putting a 4-foot guy at the front of a nightclub.

Josh: That's it. But also, no, but just from a guard dog can't be—

George: Lot of rah-rah.

Josh: Like, yeah, but a shoe, a shoe would take out a Schnauzer. Like a kid.

Mason: Yeah, no, she's— yeah, no, she's, she's a little bit of a wimp because as soon as something happens, she'll run away.

Tommy: Abby is a door bitch at a nightclub that's really attractive but wouldn't be able to handle herself if there was a fight happening. Um, I think I can use door bitch in this point because it is actually a bitch. It's a dog. It's a female dog.

Josh: Okay, sure.

Tommy: So it works well.

Mason: No, but the Schnauzers have got great, great temperaments outside of the barking. Um, she's perfect.

Josh: And so what's the other one?

Tommy: Isn't it funny how people like different breeds? Because I strongly disagree. I know it's your dog and I know that you can have your own opinion, but so can I. And I am—

Josh: it's—

Tommy: but isn't it funny how we get like— humans are like, nah, this is my breed, I love this. And so it is, it's like its compatibility with a human. I wonder if there is like a, you know, it's like hipsters get whippets or whatever it be, or hipsters get those, you know, poor sausage dogs that, you know, have ankle problems.

Mason: George.

Tommy: George. But if you— I wonder if you— if there was a big study of like the people who own X dog or X breed have certain characteristics or fall into one of the big 4 personality traits or one, you know, those things. It's like, I wonder if that is— I wonder if there is a correlation between personality and type.

Josh: Well, like Labradors, like, who doesn't like a Labrador?

Tommy: Yeah, they're lovely dogs. I'd rather— I'd choose a Labrador over a Schnauzer any day. My friend Schnauzer had epilepsy. Such a useless dog.

Josh: Every time, every time going to the disco when the strobe light came Nightmare. Yeah, just at the door, just— Yeah, no, when does— when did the dog have fits?

Tommy: Didn't see it, but it was well known in the fam— in that family. So why is that?

Mason: But the, the problem is, like, I feel like there's a massive issue with dogs dropping hair. So the reason why I can't get a cat— too much hair, dropping too much hair. And dogs, like a Labrador, lovely. Golden Retrievers, lovely, drop too much hair.

George: You can't—

Mason: Josh, you blow up about the dust on your keyboard. If you had a dog, it would be all over your clothes. And Grace is allergic to dogs as well, so if she gets dog hair on her hand, she'll start like having a reaction.

Josh: Okay, so wow, because I do like the idea of like, um, pugs. The problem with pugs is, um, vet bills. Yeah, because they're sort of, they're flawed.

Mason: They're flawed, annoying. Yeah.

Josh: Like they can't wipe their ass properly and things like that, right? Like they're, yeah.

George: Like lots of problems.

Mason: Have you just seen like a normal mate?

Tommy: They should be forced out. Like the breeds that are unhealthy and have actually—

George: They're forced in. That's the problem.

Tommy: One of the, yeah, I know, but it should be now going back the other way. Forced in, should be forced out. We should make these animals extinct.

Josh: We don't need them. Tommy hates them.

Tommy: But what about the poor dogs that have like the bowed legs and it's like they need surgery, most of them. You're going to buy one, you're probably going to have to get it surgery. It's so unfair.

Josh: Yeah, sure. What did a— So, what did a pug start as? What?

Mason: Yeah, where did it come from?

Josh: A pug started as a pug.

Tommy: Well, think about all dog breeds. All dog breeds have come from some kind of like the very beginning of dogs. There was wolves. And so, God, that cat walking around in the background of your shot, George, is comical. It's just like history of the pug. It's dumb.

Josh: Theories about the origin of the pug have caused much debate over the years, some thinking the breed to have developed in the Far East, others thinking it was developed in Europe. It is now generally accepted that the pug originated in China. It's a China dog.

Mason: Shaggy dynasty.

Tommy: Chinese dog.

Josh: Bloody the Chinese dog. Trump calls it the China dog. From where it has spread to Japan and later to Europe. It is also highly probable that the short-nosed pug crossed with other longer-faced European breeds lies behind many of the other shorter-headed breeds. Whatever this means. I mean, yeah, I love that. There's something very cute about a pug.

Tommy: No, definitely. Yeah, definitely some of them are cute, but I mean, the thing is, I think the debacle is that we're wanting the cuteness for— it's— that's our need, and that need is—

Josh: aren't all creatures our needs?

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Josh: We're not saving anyone, are we, with our pets?

Tommy: No, not at all. And so, uh, pets— there are some pets that do some pretty good, you know. There's always outliers. There's always the ones that sniffing out cancer, you know, saving old people, all that stuff. Like, they are the real heroes. They're the, they're the real heroes of the dog world.

Josh: Yeah, it's, uh, I mean, but then the other option is going wild animals, but that's unethical too. So you're not like, um, domestic.

George: Yeah, you want a big cat, don't you, Josh?

Josh: Yeah, yeah, kind of guy. Yeah, definitely. I'm an elephant guy.

Tommy: What would you, what would you get if you were to get a pet, Josh?

Josh: Like out of any sort of animal. Yeah.

Mason: Which would be a fish guy.

Josh: The problem with fish is everything is going to come down to the admin. And so, the problem with the fish is the like the aquarium. Is that what you call it? Is it an aquarium?

Mason: Cleaning.

Josh: The tank. Yeah. That'd be very annoying for me.

Mason: That's very annoying.

Josh: And so, yeah, fish. I could just imagine someone coming in saying, yeah, you've got a real algae problem. Yeah, I don't want an algae problem. And so I think, um, what could it be? Cats. I had a cat. I still have a cat. Parents look after the cat. Family man. Um, but the— I get like, I know that if I took my cat from my parents, it would have, you know, ruined them. So I let them keep it. Um, but no, I don't know. I, I like— I do like the idea Yeah, so what do I think? The thing that freaks me out about dogs or animals in general is that at night when you go to sleep, there's another living body in your house that you're responsible for.

George: Yeah, but they're asleep too, most likely.

Josh: No, they're not. What do you reckon?

Mason: What do you mean?

Josh: They don't have fucking fish time.

Mason: They absolutely are. Your bedtime is their bedtime.

Josh: Yeah. I don't know if that works. So, I mean, like, I— when we were dog sitting, we heard like barking and I like had to go downstairs or whatever, middle of the night.

George: Tough living too.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Oh, yeah. It's cruel. It's cruel. Like keeping a big dog, unless you're walking every day. Maybe that's the difference if you're out there. But you meant to walk the dog twice a day a lot of the time.

Josh: If I lived on a farm, a lot more happy with having animals. I would actually probably like— What was that, Mase?

Mason: You got to get a tough dog if you're living on the farm.

Josh: Like, you can't have a little Schnauzer.

Mason: Absolutely.

Tommy: Get a guard dog. Get a Schnauzer. Get a fucking Schnauzer. They're guard dogs.

Josh: I mean, so, Mase, if a Schnauzer was on— Schnauzer, am I saying it right?

Mason: Yeah, Schnauzer.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Schnauzer.

Tommy: Say Schnauzer. It's funnier.

Josh: Schnauzer. But it's pronounced Schnauzer, is it?

George: Yeah. Yeah.

Josh: Schnauzer.

Mason: Schnauzer.

George: Yeah.

Josh: Schnauzer. So, the— If I had a farm and I had a lamb and a Schnauzer, if a fox was to come to my property to destroy the lamb, would the Schnauzer be able to defend the lamb?

Mason: Look, probably not.

Josh: So, what is it? A guard dog too? It depends.

Mason: Because it depends how timid the fox is because the dog will—

Josh: I don't want to playing that. Like, if a fox—

Mason: Okay, so here we go. We had a— We had a fox in the street.

Josh: A suburban fox is not the same as a fox that's on the hunt.

Mason: Abby chased— Abby, yeah, Abby chased the fox. She'd probably get eaten by the fox, to be honest.

Josh: So what about— Okay, so that's why I thought I could imagine Abby being fucking ripped to shreds. What about, um, uh, opossum versus a schnauzer?

Mason: Uh, look, possums, possums will tear up any dog.

Josh: So what did you not see?

Mason: Did you not see the raccoon? Did you not see, um, Kevin Rose and the raccoon? So possible, a possible traitor, you know.

George: Cat saliva will kill a possum.

Josh: Really?

Mason: Kill people as well?

George: We'll kill a possum.

Josh: Yeah, that's a fucking good—

Tommy: yeah, that's just, that's disgusting. Your, your cat was walking on your Your cat was walking on your kitchen bench with its dirty little paws and it's been outside just punching on.

George: 2 weeks.

Tommy: Okay, inside.

Josh: So he's there, Spencer's there all the time, let's be honest. It's not special, it's not a special treat because it's fucking COVID. You haven't been alive for the next 2 weeks, you can— he's been doing that for a long time. That's true.

George: Yeah, one time we found Like at my old house, we saw Spencer in the bushes and like, what's he doing here? Went up to him and he was with these two baby possums and he was like nosing up against them, like being real cute, like tiny, like a few days old, these possums. And next to the possums was a mother possum ripped to shreds, and then another possum further down ripped to shreds, like heads gone. Oh, and these two These two baby possums were actually in the mother's sack.

Josh: Oh! Trigger warning!

George: They had come out because the mother had died.

Josh: Oh no, the trigger effects are off. Oh no.

George: And, um, and so we rescued these, these little baby possums and they end up surviving. They're all good. But the girl—

Mason: Don't like possums, get rid of them.

George: Yeah, I don't reckon he killed those, like, I don't know, maybe he did, but I don't think he did.

Josh: Sounds like a fucking episode of Serial. Sounds like you should do a podcast.

Mason: Josh, what I reckon—

George: Yeah, if Spencer had bitten into these babies or even licked them, they just blow up and die. The saliva just—

Mason: Blow up? What do you mean?

Josh: This sounds like the whole Panadol seagull fucking story.

George: Totally.

Tommy: A friend told He's never seen it before.

Josh: A friend at the Chadstone found a wallet.

Mason: I think if you were, if you were on a farm, Josh, I've just looked at it here, I reckon you could get a Great Pyrenees.

Josh: Pyrenees.

Mason: They're like, if you take a look at them, P-Y-R-E-N-E-E-S, they're sort of Labrador, Golden Retriever-esque, but they're a bit more fluffy. And so, that'll, they're around like chickens and and all those.

Josh: Is it because it looks a bit like a lamb? Looks like a sheep, sort of, from a distance.

Mason: Yeah, I don't know, but they're just— I reckon they'll bark off, you know, anything. This is right.

Tommy: If you just look up 50 kg cats, present one of the biggest dangers to the wild birds. The bacteria in cat saliva are toxic to birds. So, even if a cat does not immediately kill a bird, its bite often leads to infection and death. It is just adding to that case of like, if cats were humans, you would put them on an island and absolutely put guards there to make sure none of them get off. I mean, that is Mykonos, because there's so many cats on the island of Mykonos, or any of the Greek islands. That's where they're all having fun. Yeah, but they just be— they just seem so, you know, like, I'm chill, I'm chill. Oh, look, Dad, I've, um, just found this possum. Murdered his mates.

Josh: But yeah, it's fucking busy. You don't just want the responsibility of any moment. So there's the one thing of having a living thing in your house, but there's another thing where it's like they don't have any sort of impulse control of killing things. Like, it's scary.

Mason: No. Yeah, yeah, this is even worse. Um, so a woman killed from lethal bacteria after her cat licked her. Oh, she's an elder— elderly person. Um, Minty had scratched the woman before licking her during the night. Mum would sleep with the cat, and obviously throughout the night it licked the wound, and it was the saliva going into her bloodstream that caused the damage. She suffered bacterial meningitis and spent 9 days in a coma in Box Hill Hospital.

Josh: That's in the photo too. Yeah, before that.

Tommy: Oh my God. But what? But what, mate? How are you going to protect that?

George: Poor immune system, I'd say.

Josh: All right, try that. Yeah, yeah, if you look at the average age of the person who dies from a cat, how old was she, Sam?

Tommy: Mate, should have had hydroxychloroquine.

Mason: She was 80 years old.

Josh: 80 years old, yeah.

Tommy: Josh, I think—

Mason: She's still got 20 years.

Tommy: I think a kelpie or one of those farm dogs that's really smart, like the The blue, they're like blues, or there's like a red one. Yeah, the blue heelers, the reds, red heelers. They, um, I could imagine you being really like, you know, uh, the farmer from next door pops over to, you know, give you some firewood and you show them just how obedient your dog is and how it can just—

Josh: yeah, you don't even have sheep, but it can, it can herd something.

Tommy: You're just like, watch this.

Josh: Well, there's a master class, there's a master class on Um, dog training.

George: Oh, that's, that's really good.

Tommy: And you've watched it without a dog?

Josh: No, but I was like, I need a dog.

Mason: You do get into the mindset of like, man, I'm gonna be like the— my pet is gonna be the best, most well-trained dog. And then when it, when it comes to Ernie, it's like, nah, can't be asked.

Josh: And so that's the interesting— like, I, I can relate to that.

Mason: And so I, I feel like I would It's like you just nail sit, drop, wait.

Josh: So what's the other things?

George: You need it, you need to train it to like walk next to you. Yeah, and that sort of thing.

Josh: Yeah, I'm confident.

Tommy: I was toilet trained.

Josh: I was, um, dog sitting. I was trying to train the dog, but the dog's like fucking 12 years old, and so it's like, um, too far gone. Yeah, well, they said, you know what they say, too far gone.

Mason: Can't teach a dog new tricks.

Tommy: Yeah, yes, yeah, yeah.

Josh: Can't train them basic things either.

Mason: I'm sure you can, just a lot of traits.

Josh: Or where did that come from? Where did that statement come from if that's not true?

Tommy: Yeah, I mean, what are we—

Josh: what are we talking about?

Tommy: Belief systems we need to break down there. Treats do wonders. I mean, there's nothing like, uh, I say I would always love a dog that has got through all of that, but that's not realistic. The ones that really have connection to the owners are the ones that have been there from day one doing everything for them. Like, my dogs loved my dad because he fed them and walked them and did everything that was— yeah, yeah, how you kept them alive. I just patted them. Yeah, yeah. You know, I got my skateboard and got the— Yeah, Bodhi would love a dog, but Bodhi needs to grow up first.

Josh: Did you hear about the, um, it's a little bit dark, but the 5-year-old or whatever that was mauled, the face ripped off by its pet dog, which like, they're like, I think like the—

Tommy: Just recently?

Josh: Yeah, it was like yesterday.

Mason: Yeah, well, there's something going on with that dog or Um, yeah, so they have to be put down, don't they?

Josh: So this is what they've said: Boy's face ripped apart in savage attack by, in quotation marks, lovable pet dog. It's a bit hyperbolic, isn't it?

Tommy: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: But they've all done the same thing.

George: Every—

Josh: they've all been described as lovable. Um, it was—

Tommy: if I beat the shit out of you, Josh, do you reckon I'd get that? Lovely. Oh, lovable Tommy.

Josh: Yeah.

Mason: Yeah, it's a great dad, lovable business partner.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, but real family. Josh's skull with his fist.

Josh: No, I, to be honest, I'm scared. Like, um, being in like remote parts of Indonesia or, um, parts of Southeast Asia, of Philippines as well, I got a little bit fucking nervy with the dogs because you get fucking, you get told all these stories. Oh, and then it's like fucking dogs start chasing you, you're like fuck, what, like, it's for rabies?

Mason: And do they have anything?

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mason: And they—

Josh: we were—

Tommy: I went for a jog, uh, around Bali. It was like one morning. This is when I met Amy, actually, like 6 years ago, something more, more, 2013.

Josh: I was like, did you jog?

Tommy: Went for a jog with my friend.

Josh: Like, what, like, was it good?

Tommy: Yeah, this is the thing. We ran along the beach, we ran on the beach and then took it in, you know, it's like you get a cut through off the beach onto some other road and then it fucking took us on this wild goose chase. We ran past these dogs and I was behind— No, I was behind my friend who was running and the dog just fucking jumped out and tried to nip her leg and missed. And I was like, oh, imagine what you got to do. You'd have to— If it actually broke the skin, you're like, it needs to be rinsed. A friend of mine's dad was bitten by a fox. He goes walking every morning in like an industrial area over in Cheltenham and then he was walking and this, this fox came out and it came up behind him and bit his ankle. He had to go to emergency to get it rinsed and like, because the bacteria on the teeth of foxes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He went chasing it, went, went out the other next day with a pipe and, um, and tried to get it and it fucking ran off. Nearly hit it.

Josh: That's so freaky.

Tommy: But it's, yeah, it's a nightmare.

Mason: You don't want to have to I mean, it's a waste of time going back and trying to find it, mate.

George: Moes, what do you mean?

Mason: It's very hard to find revenge.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: Oh no, no, it was there. He found it. It's a fucking—

Josh: What was your worst nightmare, JB?

George: Stepping on a stingray. That's— oh yeah, always freaks me out when I'm in the ocean. I'm just so scared of that rockfish. Yeah, rockfish. Yeah, anything like poisonous.

Tommy: Oh mate, mate, I used to get around that, these books when I was young, like the encyclopaedias that would talk about the dangerous shit in, in Australia. And there's rockfish, stingrays. Look at Steve Irwin, man. Far out. Yeah, what a way to go, poor bugger. Like swimming above a stingray and it shot out a barb.

Josh: Fuck, just shoot out a barb? Or did it just— I thought he's just like— I don't think that they shoot I don't think the stingray shot.

Mason: Was it his fault? Was it his fault?

Tommy: No, he was above— he was swimming above it and it has to lift up its thing and goes—

Josh: but it doesn't think it does—

Tommy: it goes in.

Josh: Does it actually sh—

Tommy: I don't know. Let me see if it comes out.

Mason: Here we go.

Tommy: Does a stingray—

George: Casey just said her dad's name is Steve. That's quite funny because her last name's Irwin.

Josh: We look, yeah, we don't have to get bogged down on that.

Mason: Oh my God, the barb's come off. Did you know that?

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh: The barb's not shooting. Does the barb— does the stingray shoot versus the barb enters into Steve and then the barb releases from the stingray? I just don't imagine that the stingray shot like a bang bang.

George: Oh, I thought—

Tommy: No, I think, I think it just goes in and out.

Mason: They attach. They— I think, I think they— yeah, I don't know. It says here that the barb on a stingray's tail is only used for defense. They take a long time to grow back, which sounds like it comes off, it detaches from the stingray once it's—

Tommy: So this is literally Steve Irwin's case. It's like a bee.

Josh: It's like a bee. A bee's not like— if a bee is flying near you you don't have to worry about being stung by it shooting at you. Yeah, it has to land on it. If it hits it, sting. Yeah, yeah, it's for a game.

Tommy: It will shoot it into you. That's fucked. Poor Steve. It actually must have been— it was such a big stingray because it went up through his heart. We used to catch stingrays when we were young down at Hampton Beach, but it's, um, they were small. They were small, not like a big fucker.

Josh: Anyway, scary world, isn't it, mate?

Tommy: There's a lot of shit. I mean, you listen to how Americans talk about Australia and they're like, mate, the bloody spiders, the, uh, the snakes. I mean, we don't see a lot of that stuff.

Josh: Well, um, you know where I want to move to, GB? You probably— do you remember where I always talked about where I want to move to and do the show?

George: Tassie?

Josh: Yeah. Do you remember what the, the town Hobart. The nut. No, it's the nut. Stanley, the nut. And they actually had a shark attack incident like 4 weeks ago.

Mason: Oh, really? I think I'm too cold and depressing in Stanley.

George: I just— Yeah.

Mason: Don't you want more of that vitamin D? Like, you want somewhere that you can—

Josh: I think that I'm missing vitamin D right now. Yeah, I would. So, where's some other parts in Australia that you think that I would like, that I could move to?

Mason: Darwin.

Josh: Too humid.

Tommy: What about the coastal area?

Mason: I mean, you could, you could— I've— Grace has been showing me photos. There's this Instagram account called Perth is Okay, and there are some lovely places in Perth.

Tommy: Why'd they start that, by the way? I remember seeing Ryan John do it, posting about this. Well, people thought Perth wasn't okay.

Mason: I don't know. I wonder if there's a Melbourne is okay.

George: Melbourne's fine. What about just like the mountains somewhere, Josh?

Josh: Like, yeah, I like the idea of like a Colorado or— But I think that Australia, staying in Australia would be nice.

Tommy: Yeah. South Australia. South Australia, like on the coastal area. I feel like, where is there? There's—

Josh: So, what's the prerequisites? It needs to— have fibre internet. Yeah, it needs to be close.

Mason: Cash you have, because that might be annoying to, to run. Yeah, um, it could be like a $30,000, $40,000 install.

Josh: I know, but I've got to buy the house first. I know, yeah, factor it in.

George: Prefer cold or hot?

Josh: Um, well, no, I think, um, I like cold nights, um, preferably like 20, 24 degrees. During the day. Yeah.

George: Um, geez, it's like, I don't get that.

Josh: You gotta go, you literally have to move to America. Is Canberra seriously an option? Why are you saying Canberra?

George: Just from the, from weather, it gets very cold and then it's like extreme. So, it could be like a 30-degree day and then like -1 at night.

Josh: Okay. I don't need it. No. So, the cold thing is just so I sleep easy. Nice.

Tommy: Turn on the aircon, mate.

Josh: Aircon, get your sniffly. Yeah. So, it would be nice. So, I don't want wildfire. I don't wanna have to deal with that. I would like a bit of land. I wanna be able to look out and see huge amounts of nature. I want floor-to-ceiling glass sort of windows. I wanna be able to have my desk there. To look out, to do writing at the desk and seeing all of the greenery. But then I also want to be in a controlled room where I can control the lighting a little bit.

Tommy: You should watch Restoration Australia, Josh.

Josh: I don't want to rest— I think the problem with restoration—

Tommy: you're not doing anything. Your hands have not seen a day's work in their life.

Josh: So I don't— I can't— I don't see it aspirational. I'd prefer to watch.

Tommy: No, it's not about aspirational, it's about seeing the properties that people are just like, because you can get— Or just make people different.

Josh: It's like, because no, but the thing is, because it just sort of— I understand that if, um, like if Bree was with the chippy, like if I was— say if I was like, uh, uh, looking, like, so if you look like— yeah, you would go like someone who can build stuff, like build the house, so you can get like a really sick house. Like, the most I can offer Bree is a is a video.

Tommy: Not bad, not bad. Good currency in these days.

Josh: Video, text, yeah, Ethernet or whatever.

Mason: And you did offer the video as well.

Josh: What does that mean?

Mason: You did that, see, you did that CV.

Josh: Oh yeah, I did. I did great.

Mason: Yeah, I love that video.

Josh: That's epic. Yeah, I did, I did a video. But no, I— the restoration thing, it feels like it's a different person who's doing that.

Tommy: Oh, it's not about— I'm not saying watch that to watch How to Restor— Restore a Place, but it's— there's a property in Tasmania that is on a little sort of creek area, and it's got huge windows looking out to sort of rolling hills. But the thing is, it's icy cold in the winter and it's average in the summer. It could get hot actually in the summer, but it's probably a short, shorter summer. So, Australia's climate is— Like, unless you're moving to America where you can get somewhere that is more consistent.

Josh: So, the problem with the US is obviously, no, but then you have the extremes of like earthquakes and like Los Angeles.

Mason: So, you can't.

Tommy: So, what you're saying is there's nowhere— What you want is perfect and you can't live there. So, just live in Collingwood.

Josh: Well, yeah, I just think, yeah, I don't know. I would just like somewhere a little bit more open. Doesn't need to be a big place. Don't want to have to clean a big place. Casey in the chat said, um, but JJ, you can't get Uber Eats. I think that part of it would be like, I love smoking, uh, things. Like, uh, I could smoke it. Well, I wasn't gonna say meat because Casey's, uh, vegan. I was gonna say eggplant. But yeah, I do like smoking meat.

Mason: Um, so yeah, I would like to be able to smoke some meat outside and some eggplant, you know, and but also go sort of the Yeah, I think you would have a great outdoor setting sort of living area where you've got like, you know, your barbecue and you've got your smoking going and you've just got like the eggplant grilling.

Josh: Yeah. Just marshmallows and stuff. I mean, I was talking to, I don't know, TJ, if you've had a chance to listen to the podcast How I Work, the later, like one of the latest episodes with Dr. Jason Fox is a guest, and he talks about doing his work to the lunar cycle and things like that. I just fucking love Jason.

Tommy: Please explain it. Can you please explain?

Josh: I love Jason. It's hard to explain, to be honest. It's like one guy does 10-day cycles, so he does all of his work. He doesn't do a 7-day, like, so he doesn't do like 5-day work week. He does 10 days, but it doesn't have like a Monday or whatever. And, um, and so anyway, uh, Jason does a version of that where he does all of his work based on where the moon is and things like that. I just love that. And, uh, I have this vision of Jason and I around a fire doing poetry slams whilst having some marshmallows and talking about the whiskey that he's got, and it's like freezing cold. And that, but it's also like, um, there's books and that, you know, it's gonna be great.

Mason: You both like real great coats.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah, really comfy coats and talking about the real great coats. Yeah, what's inside them and just the, um, oh yeah, this is a 70-year-old coat that was, um, the lining is of, of an alpaca or things like that. So that's where I want to get to.

Tommy: It's It's like the spa. You get in for 5 minutes and you're bored.

Josh: But see, but my— the narrative is so— so the spa, there's— so the, the only friction will be the ease in which I can get wood, as in for the fire. So, uh, Ryan Shelton, for instance, he, he gets his wood delivered for his place. And that seems like he's got like a real, like a great sort of thing going.

Mason: Great supplier.

Josh: Great supplier. And so I think that that would be the big thing is just working out how to make sure that I've got enough supplies to be able to make the fire.

Tommy: Yeah. Dude, if you've got money, you can get wood delivered any time of the day. Actually not at the moment. There's a wood shortage. They've shut the wood mills. Well, they've shut the wood processing plants.. And so, there's a bunch of— this is a conversation I had with my next-door neighbour, literally about wood. A lot of wood is stuck at the border of Victoria and New South Wales. So, can't get in. And so, struggling to get firewood.

Josh: I reckon 20,000 people were leaving Victoria. Like, moving.

Tommy: Yeah, they found that loophole. Dirty dogs. Found a loophole that you can still use a relocation service, removalists. If you're on, if you have a lease signed up in the Gold Coast, you could get out of here. I mean, it's a lot of effort just to leave because of the 6-week stuff. Maybe if you're leaving because your life's been—

Josh: You just bit over it. But I could imagine a bunch of people feeling that way where it's like through all of this COVID time realising actually fucking Melbourne, Melbourne's not for me.

Tommy: Well, if you left Gold Coast or Queensland, it is a much slower pace up there. It feels lovely. Sunshine Coast, the Sunny Coast, or Noosa, it's like different vibe. And so, if you came down here to be a part of the rat race or, you know, that sort of hustle, I could imagine you're just like, mate, I'm going back to old, going back to what I, where I began.

Josh: Well, just think about New York. New York seems pretty like a lot less appealing right now.

Tommy: So, so much less appealing. Slugging away to pay, you know, $10,000 a week rent. Yeah, yeah, more, more, $2,000 a week. Fuck me, no good. I mean, just move to the nut.

Josh: So anyway, where do you guys want to live? GB, where are you? Where do you want to eventually have a place?

George: Melbourne.

Josh: Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can dream.

Tommy: He's from somewhere else. He's from Canberra and lived in Byron now is in Melbourne.

George: You—

Tommy: he's pretty— you love Melbourne, Georgie boy.

George: I do, I really love Melbourne. I— yeah, I wouldn't mind being here for quite some more time, but, uh, it'd be good to get a house up in the hills in Byron as well. Yeah, about a spare couple of mil.

Josh: Yeah, um, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm Dave Mantley. Gets a few sponsors. Yeah.

George: I don't know, dream. I mean, an apartment in Tokyo would be cool. If I could live anywhere in the world, that'd be sick. If I had like a second apartment in Tokyo to go to. But, um, probably Melbourne, probably Fitzroy.

Josh: Yeah, sure. Well, you're living your dream. That's great. That's so good.

George: I'm living your dream. Awesome. Yeah.

Josh: And so, TJ, what is it for you?

Tommy: Uh, I don't know, somewhere coastal. I could live up in— I could live up in Queensland. I think.

Josh: We could probably align Byron with all of us. I think we could all be, we all want fairly similar things. Like, we just don't want to—

Mason: We could all be in Byron. Yeah.

Tommy: There is a town, imagine if we move. So, there's, if you drive between here, here, yeah, Team 10. If you drive between here, Byron.

Josh: I could have my farm.

Tommy: There's so many nice towns. There's so many nice little towns. Imagine if we found a little town that had the right internet and it was just us. Everyone's there.

George: I used to live up in this place called Cooper's Chute, which is about 10 minutes outside of Byron, less than 8, 5 minutes. And it's perfect for you, Josh. It's like hills, cows everywhere. Hannah's mum still lives up there. She lives on 400 acres.

Josh: Oh wow. Can I have an acre? Can she chop out an acre? Just one acre.

Tommy: Come on, the Grom Squad all gets an acre.

Mason: It'll only be 4. Yeah, she'll still do a co-op.

Josh: I'll bring the, um, the Ethernet. I'll pay for the internet. Um, yeah, so what's the deal?

Mason: We could ubiquity it as well.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, we could do, we could do line of sight stuff, get sort of point to point. Oh yeah, right.

George: Um, yeah, no, it doesn't work. It's great. It's just like a, just that, guys, you don't know what we're talking about. Yeah, you're going off-site, dude. Yeah, um, yeah, it's just a little, little place on 400. Like, you literally look as far as you can and it's just like there's, there's no houses, just all—

Josh: How does that make you feel when you go there?

George: I love it, it's so nice, it's so peaceful. Like, that you can see all the stars. It's, um, it takes like 2 or 3 minutes, not probably more, to drive down the driveway. Like, it's just a dirt driveway that goes all the way down, go through the paddock up into the house.

Tommy: It's actually not far from Thor's place, is it?

George: No, they're all sort of around there.

Josh: And so, could we do— So, the thing is, I don't even need to be 10 minutes from Byron.

Tommy: He'll take half an acre. He'll take half an acre.

Josh: No, no, no, but I don't need to be 10 minutes from Byron. I could be like, I'm happy with fucking 2 hours from Byron. So, could— Is there—

George: You only need to be like 20 to 30. Like, I mean, there's—

Mason: What's Possum Creek like, JB?

George: Couldn't tell you, mate. Not sure.

Josh: The cat killer. It's just out.

George: I don't know.

Mason: What about Coorabell? Coorabell?

George: Yeah, Coorabell's nice. Yeah, Tani, my mate who lives here, his dad has a place in Coorabell and it's like—

Mason: Coorabell looks lovely.

George: He loves the bakers as well. Yeah, it's lovely. So nice.

Josh: And so, the thing is—

Mason: I mean, it's so great.

Josh: So, the fear of Byron Bay is that just it's being sort of taken over by wankers from Melbourne, or— and I, maybe I am one of those people, but how can we avoid— is there like, just like, say, you know, you go to Bali or whatever and they say it used to all be about, oh yeah, Legian and Seminyak and all that, and now it's like, oh no, you got to go to Ubud. And then, and then a few years later, it's like, oh no, no, Ubud is where all of the tourists— you don't want to be in Ubud. Um, and then before you know it, you're not actually in Bali anymore. What, what is the, um What's the wanker-free zone, do you think? Where?

George: I think, um, wanker-free zone, I mean, you should look somewhere like, oh, I don't know, like Mullum, or like, um, you're laughing.

Josh: Is it so, should I look between Coffs Harbour and Byron? Is that what you're sort of thinking?

George: Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, because Coffs Harbour is like south. It's a fair way away still. It's probably like a few hours away. Yeah, sure. Yeah, anywhere up there. No, just anywhere in the hills. I think you'll find somewhere great. Like, it's so nice. It's so green.

Josh: Okay. I'm just putting my little man on Google Maps to a random spot, just seeing what the vibe is.

Tommy: You need to take a camper van and drive up that coast.

Mason: I've literally landed.

Josh: I'm not even joking. I've landed at someone's house. I'm in someone's house.

George: It's so weird.

Josh: It's very nice.

Mason: I feel like you'd love— there's this, there's this Instagram I keep seeing on Instagram, this place, and it's just, it looks like the photo that Coorabell has on Google Maps, and it's just literally super, super green, just rolling hills, and you can't see any houses, nothing.

George: Rolling hills.

Mason: C-O-O-R-A-B-E-L-L. Coorabell.

Josh: Okay, it'll be an option.

Tommy: Anyway, boys, keep dreaming. I gotta go wipe some asses.

Josh: All right, great. Uh, thank you. Uh, thanks everyone. Enjoy the rest of your Saturday. We'll see you tomorrow. Have a good one.

George: Love you.