Hypnobirthing

Tommy: It's a very low barrier to get into the Gronk Squad. That's crazy!

Josh: We've committed to do The Daily Talk Show for 10 years.

Tommy: Hi guys! Hi guys!

Josh: Put it in the calendar. I'd just like to cheque the temperature in the room. I told you my squeegee story.

Tommy: It is outrageous.

Josh: Come on, let's go. It's The Daily Talk Show episode 979.

Tommy: Happy Monday. What's happening?

Josh: You've got your cup. I forgot my cup.

Tommy: Yeah, too bad, mate. I'm, I'm, I'm, uh, hydrated, so deal with it.

Josh: I've been very hydrated lately. It's actually become a bit of a problem.

Tommy: So then, are you hydrated? Because you're saying it's becoming a problem. A hydrated person, they're not— there's no problems.

Josh: No, I think there is. There's a point where you're going to the toilet too much. But anyway, let's not get too much into the toilet thing.

Tommy: Stella will tune out.

Josh: Too late. Uh, Billboards. Seen a few of them around.

Tommy: Yeah, I spotted Jason PJ on one yesterday. Pointed that out to my wife.

Josh: Yeah. Saw one that's like pasta sauce. Yeah. It's actually at someone's house. The billboard? Yes, it's in there, like it's on a house. And so, I can't work out whether the people that live there run this pasta sauce company, or whether, you know, they're just getting the cash money. Cash money.

Tommy: So, it was always a thing. There's a— this is a bit of sort of inside baseball. Melbourne, Nepean Highway and North Road, there's a little business called Tiny Town. Tiny Town is a car sale— was a car sales place.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: It was tiny. Like, it was like 2-storey, looked like a house and it was like a garage down below, but there'll be cars there and it was on the corner.

Josh: Like secondhand cars.

Tommy: Secondhand cars. And it's on the corner of this big block. There used to be like a Panavision, Retrovision, whatever that was. Retrovision. Panasales, maybe. It was like a big electrical place. Yeah.

Josh: Panavision's the big cinema rental. Oh, yeah.

Tommy: But the corner. Ended up getting developed. So, there's a huge Masonic Hall. What are they called? The Freemasons bought it.

Josh: Oh, really?

Tommy: But they didn't get Tiny Town. So, Tiny Town, you know, they say there's like huge constructions and then like one little building that they— The guy was like, fuck ya, not selling. So, Tiny Town's still there, but Tiny Town has a billboard on it. And I reckon Mr. Tiny Town is just— He's retired. He probably lives in Port Douglas. And he probably just gets $150,000, $200,000 a year for his billboards. This was the thing. There was a— in Fitzroy Street in St Kilda, number 1 Fitzroy Street, it was a restaurant. It's been about 40 restaurants. They can never get it right. It could just be the location, but it's a good venue. Been to a few 21sts there. On top, huge billboard. And I heard that this person makes $80,000 a year just from the billboard.

Josh: If someone knocked on your door and said, hey, I'll give you $150 to put like a sign. It's just like a cardboard and they sort of hammer it into the ground. Would you do it?

Tommy: At the front of my house?

Josh: Yes.

Tommy: What does the sign say?

Josh: I don't know. It's a for pasta sauce.

Tommy: $150 for how long?

Josh: A week? For 12 months.

Tommy: Oh, do I have to do any upkeep?

Josh: No, no, they'll look after it. They'll wash it down every 6 months. Make sure it's clean.

Tommy: How big is it?

Josh: It's 50 metres by 5 metres. No, no, it's sort of a 3 metres by 5 metres.

Tommy: Oh, it's too big. Can I? I don't even know if I can do it on a rental. I could, you know, you can't, you're not actually allowed to lease out your rental.

Josh: Yeah. Remember the protein Paul down the road at the protein shop, he said You couldn't pay me to live around here.

Tommy: Yeah, he said, if you gave me a house, I wouldn't accept it. I was like, mate, you don't get it. This area is, you know, affluent.

Josh: Yeah. There's just some drug issues. But is there anything that is a no-go? So, for instance, if someone gave you a house, is there anything that would actually make it unlivable for you?

Tommy: Unlivable? Yeah, location is one thing. Like, if it was in a seriously rough neighbourhood and there was no security. But I mean, you could, if you are like, there's a difference when it's like money at the end of something is a good incentive.

Josh: What about power lines? Would you?

Tommy: Oh, yeah.

Josh: Would you have a house under power lines?

Tommy: I know it probably doesn't cause cancer, but I just think that hearing a buzz.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: You'd be annoyed and I'd be worried. It's not ideal.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Not ideal. But I mean, if you're given something, it's like you're going to be grateful at that point, don't you?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: I tell you, I was grateful yesterday. Amy and I have been doing hypnobirthing classes every Sunday.

Josh: So what's the goal?

Tommy: So hypnobirthing, I mean, you tend to think about hypnosis and then you think about someone being turned into a chicken. You know, like, uh, I click my fingers and you'll turn into a chicken, which can happen, I think. And but a lot of the time, so hypnosis is, uh, it's, it's not the other person doing it to you, it's you doing it to yourself.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: So it's slipping into a state, a mindful state where you are focusing on it. So a lot of hypnosis is like run— someone's running you through a visualisation. So it's like You walk into the house and you see in the corner some flowers. The flowers bring back, you know, like that's a version of hypnosis where it's storytelling. You really embody it and you can even feel it. So, it's like, you know, think about the power of the mind. Right now, Josh, picture you've got a lemon in your right hand and you are bringing it up to your mouth. You're smelling it. You can smell the citrus. And you take one big bite.

Josh: It tastes sour. Yeah, yeah.

Tommy: I'm already salivating. And so, that's your mind doing that, right? So, it's like, hypnosis is, when it comes to birthing, hypnobirthing is a tactic, a tool to be able to get through what is a pretty hard— or it's actually about reframing childbirth. So what does it mean? What does the pain mean? Rather than seeing it as this negative sign. Is it like a government—

Josh: is it a government-run thing?

Tommy: Absolutely not.

Josh: So how does it work? So this is some sort of There was a woman who created—

Tommy: she's trademarked something about it, hypnobirthing, but she did it for herself. And then her daughter asked, can I do this? And then they've developed this whole system. And next minute, you know, we're in Melbourne 50 years later paying somebody who's probably, you know, a part of some kind of hypnobirthing body, but they're teaching it on. And so it's very common.

Josh: How did you hear about it?

Tommy: Amy found it through somebody, just found it online maybe. But it turns out that it's like 4 seconds away from my parents' place. So, we drop Bodhi off and go and spend 3 hours. But we already feel so much better about this childbirth than the last based on just being curious to understand what's going to happen and understanding how you can cope and what the body's capable of. So much stuff.

Josh: So, was it in someone's house or what's the deal?

Tommy: It's in someone's house and you go in, you know, you're in the— It's sick. It's like in this lounge room and there's, you know, 3 other couples there.

Josh: Is it sort of designed— Because I remember as a kid learning piano and the smell of the house had a certain smell. I felt like I was in someone's personal space.

Tommy: Yeah. Was it sort of pasta sauce cooking?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: It's very nice. It's think like On the hippier side, the more sort of natural side. So, just natural smells.

Josh: Incense?

Tommy: Not even. It's just a really nice house clean sort of.

Josh: How many people are in there?

Tommy: In the room?

Josh: In the room.

Tommy: 4, 8, 9 people.

Josh: Same people every time?

Tommy: Yes. It's like a once a week, 5-week course or something. So, anyway, we thought after the hypno class that we would go for a sort of little lunch, you know, like Bodhi was at my mum and dad's. And so, we're like, let's get out for a little lunch. And I just recommended somewhere in Bow Morris. I was like, oh, we should go try this place out. It's called the Lobster Cave. You heard of it?

Josh: Yeah, I feel like I've heard radio ads maybe.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. It's one of those places. It was in the books where you could tear out the entertainment guide. It always had Lobster Cave in there.

Josh: My parents won't eat anywhere unless it's in the entertainment guide.

Tommy: So, we walked into this place.

Josh: And after 3 hours? Yeah, after 3 solid hours, no break.

Tommy: 3 and a half, actually.

Josh: Bring your snacks?

Tommy: No, they cater.

Josh: What sort of catering?

Tommy: Snacks, fruit platter, this beautiful pistachio, like, banana loaf.

Josh: Oh, the dive form. Really? Before you get to the lobster cave? Yeah, yeah. Cave? Lobster cave? Yeah. So, are you— have you become friendly? Have you added anyone on Facebook that you've been in the class with? Amy knew one of the people. Okay. Class. And do you ask many questions?

Tommy: Listening, yeah, I asked a few. Asked a few.

Josh: So, what's the scenario? Are you sitting on seats?

Tommy: Sitting around in a circle? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's a nice environment, very relaxing. There's a big TV, 70-inch.

Josh: A lot of breathing exercises?

Tommy: Yeah, we're doing breathing relaxation. It's lovely.

Josh: What's the biggest thing you've learnt?

Tommy: So many things I've learned, dude. It's not just one big thing. Many. Just about what you can ask for.

Josh: How can you help as a partner?

Tommy: It should be present. Last time I vlogged Amy's birth. Nah, but I think just literally about the present nature of the partner, the birthing partner, is so important.

Josh: So what did you do last time that you won't do this time? So you won't vlog or you will vlog?

Tommy: No, I did film some of it. I'm not going to do any of that I'm not going to film other than take some photos at the end.

Josh: Just have a head strap on, just the GoPro.

Tommy: But it's about being Amy's go-to person to make sure I'm— think about having the necessity for a safe environment for a woman giving birth and how much that can do. So, if Amy knows that I've got her back and— but there's all techniques, soft touch massage. Pushing on sort of like some different pressure points. There's, you know, pressing of hips, releasing pressure, all different types of stuff that help a lot.

Josh: Yeah. And last time you were?

Tommy: I was out smoking. I missed it. No, no, no. It's just, you just don't know what you don't know. And that was the case for both Amy and I. Like, didn't know, like we weren't offered a ball. What's a ball? Like an exercise ball to do. Like we weren't asked, do you want to go on your hands and knees? Knees to do some pushing.

Josh: So you're gonna have to— So you get like a midwife before it all happens?

Tommy: You go public, you end up just getting what you get on the day. So how do you get it?

Josh: How do you negotiate then? So you're gonna have to sort of both be assertive of like, this is what we want, okay? Like, we—

Tommy: No, this is the thing. If I need to be taking charge, so project managing the whole thing. Yeah, but it's just about like, you can, you know, hang on. I feel like there could be a version of midwives or hospitals that are like, oh, fuck, here's some hypnobirthing people. They've got a sign on the door saying, this is hypnobirthing. Like there's some resistance between the way it is or the way— There's a new documentary called Birth Time, which looks at many things amongst childbirth in the world and the things like intervention. And how much intervention is actually required in childbirth. Because think about it, you've got like a birthing suite at a hospital, you could have like 10 rooms. This is probably a lot. That's probably heaps for a hospital. You think there's— How many women are going to be giving birth across a year in those rooms? Shitloads. So, they need to make sure that they hit it. Like it's a system that they have to create to be able to manage the amount of childbirths that are in Australia.

Josh: Have you thought about doing a home— Do they encourage home birth through the Hypno stuff?

Tommy: Yeah, I'm not really keen on it for this much. I don't want to do it.

Josh: But is that what some people are doing that are in the class?

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I guess. And so there is— You can feel the resistance between modern medicine and the people that are pushing for hypnobirthing. And I'm like, it's like their stance against some of the things.

Josh: Like, like what?

Tommy: Um, just against the system that has been created. So it's like that, that's the vibe. Like, it's pushback against the system that's been created.

Josh: Do you feel like you've— like an anti-vaxxer?

Tommy: Kind of, but I'm— I feel like I'm on the cusp of it. Like, but I'm, I'm definitely not anti-vaxxer, but I feel like there's a, um, there's, there's Definitely.

Josh: Like, so epidural, yes or no?

Tommy: For who though? So, for Amy? No. So, yeah.

Josh: So, I'm guessing you're hypnobirthing.

Tommy: Hypnobirthing is all about trying to do it intervention-free. Intervention-free is everything from the gas that you suck, inducing. And so, like, it's amazing. Like, this lady's reeling off a bunch of stats around childbirth and, you know, the Like their view on it is that it becomes a problem when we're moving away from natural childbirth. Natural meaning no interventions, meaning no C-sections. And so, I don't like— There is a bunch. So, people who are all about hypnobirthing obviously understand that C-sections and things have to happen sometimes. Intervention has to happen. And it's not that they're totally against it, but you get that vibe that they are totally against it. You know what I mean?

Josh: And I think that probably people sometimes feel judged, too.

Tommy: Totally.

Josh: If they have to have intervention, it's like breastfeeding, right? Like if you can't naturally breastfeed, all of a sudden, you know, you hear storeys of friends being like, yeah.

Tommy: So, yeah. Which I mean, we went to a class and it's like, breast milk is the best milk is what the lady says. And there's a reality that Some chicks can't breastfeed.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: They've got a problem that they, you know, come up to.

Josh: And so anyway.

Tommy: Yeah, that's what I feel like. I'm more on the side of like, oh, you're fucking excluding a lot of people here. There's a lot of kids that were born C-section and are doing good.

Josh: But it also isn't it like you don't want to walk away if you need intervention and saying, oh, we fucked it. You know what I mean?

Tommy: Absolutely not.

Josh: There are a lot of those storeys where it's like, oh, I felt disappointed because they have this idea. You know, you have this idea in your mind of it's going to be X, Y and Z and then complications and you're having to do shit a way that you don't necessarily want to.

Tommy: Definitely. So, that's the thing about home birth. I'm not completely sold on just at this point with this baby.

Josh: Is Amy keen on it or no?

Tommy: I think she might, but no. I guess if she was, we'd be doing it. But yeah, I see what you mean. So, the in essence of what you're saying the person that is saying no to intervention usually would be quite down the path of understanding their body, listening to their body. You're saying like for the person that is totally neglecting how their body's being responding and then doesn't accept intervention. Well, yeah, so there's a version of like, so imagine being in pain, so imagine childbirth, extreme pain, but then there's a version of not seeing it as extreme pain. You know, there's the reframing of all this stuff, which is hypnobirthing. Each surge or each contraction is getting you closer to birthing your child. It's about like, it's the energy being required, you know, like being created by your body to, to do this natural thing, which is childbirth. So this is the— I see the advantage of going deep into the practise of hypnobirthing. To give you a higher chance of a childbirth with less intervention.

Josh: And so, Lobster Cave.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Did you get a discount?

Tommy: Is where Amy's having the baby. So, we went into Lobster Cave just to sort of, you know, it was nice to have a little date after. But, dude, we worked into— Walked into a booby trap.

Josh: So, Lobster Cave, I put it in the same vein as, you know, there's the The fish and the fish place where it's a blue and white logo. It's like a man and it's like they did—

Tommy: Crab Shack?

Josh: No, they did like, like I used to eat the crumbed calamari.

Tommy: Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Josh: I'm trying to think of what it's called.

Tommy: Rex Hunt's Fishing Shop?

Josh: No, no, no. It was like a big establishment. Blue and white.

Tommy: Don't know.

Josh: Hi@thedailytalkshow.com. Let us know. And so, anyway, what is the vibe? Well, How much for a main meal?

Tommy: I had picked up food from there probably 7 years ago. I was at Rex Hunt's house, just a humble brag, picking up some food catering for his house. We were out there for Christmas. Yeah, friend's uncle. Anyway, it's—

Josh: what's he up to nowadays? I don't know.

Tommy: I think he's probably still doing something with footy, fishing. Nice guy. Anyway, he That was very different when I went there last. I didn't even recognise this place. We didn't know if it was open. It's like this black, black sort of exterior and you walk in and it looks like you're going to a nightclub.

Josh: Booths?

Tommy: Well, once you walk in, coming out from the— Coming from the outside, very glary. Your eyes are adjusting because it's so dark and you're looking around. There's like, yeah, there are some booths. There's like the ceiling looks like a Lamborghini ceiling that has the little starlight.

Josh: Oh, we thought that was kind of cool.

Tommy: Mate, we felt like we were walking into some kind of, you know, Dracula's.

Josh: It's like some sort of performance, man.

Tommy: It was— you could see lobsters everywhere.

Josh: Anyway, so it's a fish and chip shop?

Tommy: No, no, no, it's like a porchetta. No way. No, no, we fucked up, dude. Fine dining almost.

Josh: Oh, really?

Tommy: Oh, I looked at the menu. We sat down. First thing they said on the table was a bottle of sparkling.

Josh: Just assumed that.

Tommy: Absolute booby trap. Do not accept that sparkling because they will start charging you from that sparkling. On the table instantly, that's free. No, dude, they're going to start charging you for that. I didn't confirm that, but I didn't trust them because I looked at the menu and one of the share platters was $499.

Josh: Oh, no.

Tommy: So we sat down and at the moment of like, we—

Josh: Why did you decide to go there?

Tommy: Just because we were like, oh, Lobster Cave, that's kind of—

Josh: Did Amy have any sense of what it was? No, but she'd heard about it.

Tommy: And she wanted to go there too. Booby trap. Fine dining, like expensive. It was 1:30 on a Sunday. We weren't prepped.

Josh: What sort of people there?

Tommy: International. You know, some locals look like they're celebrating dad's 65th birthday. Do you know that vibe?

Josh: The vibe of the Cheesecake Factory in the US.

Tommy: No. High quality, dude. High quality. Like. Like Rockpool. Like on the end, like closer to Rockpool, which is a fancy steak joint.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: In Melbourne. But this is like a— it's well known. It's been there for many, many years.

Josh: What were you wearing?

Tommy: Hey, 3/4 pants, runners, the Daily Talk Show hoodie. Like just we, we did not know what we're walking in. How much do you reckon Amy and I spent walking in thinking we're just going to have a little bite to eat on a Sunday and we're too deep and we can't say no.

Josh: And we don't want to seem like absolute tight asses that Did you drink the sparkling water?

Tommy: Didn't drink the sparkling water.

Josh: Did they take it away?

Tommy: They took it away.

Josh: I always find it interesting logistically how they do that. Like, they will give you different coloured glass. I've had a case where they've put still water into, like, refilling my sparkling.

Tommy: Oh, absolutely not.

Josh: It's not good. I'm going to say you spent $80 between the two of you.

Tommy: $160. Oh, no. We couldn't. We were too deep. Next minute we're fucking ordering.

Josh: We're like, oh, God.

Tommy: So did you reckon that was on the cheap end?

Josh: Did you lean in at that point and say, okay, let's get something?

Tommy: I leaned in, I'm like, fucking get me a glass of Pinot.

Josh: Did you really?

Tommy: I was like, we're deep, we're so deep. Did you have fun? It was lovely. We had the most amazing— ordered lobster bruschetta. What do you think, how many pieces of lobster bruschetta would you get?

Josh: How much was it?

Tommy: Just answer first. Just when you just see lobster bruschetta.

Josh: Yeah, you'd have like 2 large slices, one each, maybe 4.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: Maybe 4. Maybe 4.

Tommy: 2 small slices for $49. Oh, no. Like, we don't do this shit. We haven't been out for a night. Like, we lent into it like we'd organised, you know, this 4 weeks ago and thought, let's go and have a nice fine dining. Got a nice steak that came with some like crab on top. It was like amazing, awesome food. But we totally were trapped.

Josh: So, would you go there again?

Tommy: Definitely, definitely. But I'd be—

Josh: The Lobster Co.

Tommy: It's a celebration for something like good. These are specialists in lobster. You'd never had anything better than this lobster bruschetta.

Josh: Really? Okay.

Tommy: But $49 for 2 pieces.

Josh: Like, on a small Sunday, small bit of toast on Saturday or Sunday.

Tommy: This is on a Sunday, packed. Packed. Oh, and they gave us free crème brûlée on the way out.

Josh: Oh, really? It wasn't free.

Tommy: No, it wasn't.

Josh: I mean, you see this when you go overseas. Traps. Booby traps.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: But not really in your own town.

Tommy: I know. And I didn't feel like, because I knew people that went there when I was younger, they must have been spending coin, dude. But like, it's too— Once you get into it, it feels like you're inside. You can't like—

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Leaving would be very like, they just found us a table, they've just taken, you know, put all the cutlery out. Next minute, like, it'd be rude. And so, it costs $169, I think.

Josh: Wow.

Tommy: I took a photo of the menu as well because I was like, I want to tell you what— Yeah. So, one of the—

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: A sharing platter. $499 for 2 people. Or if we, you know, if say you, George, Jess and I went, $699 sharing platter. We had fun. Had, you know, a great $89 steak.

Josh: Did you really? Yes. That's great.

Tommy: I mean, we literally, as soon as we realised we'd gone in a booby trap, it's like you're hanging upside down, you're like, we're caught. And we're like, let's enjoy being captured.

Josh: Yeah, definitely. I mean, I think that's like, especially You know, it's a fun experience. Overseas. Yeah, exactly.

Tommy: Captured overseas.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: So, we're very grateful that we have the money to be able to spend on that, but it hurt.

Josh: You got to do some nice things. You got to do. Sometimes.

Tommy: You got to.

Josh: And so, in regards to the hypnobirthing, just very quickly, what's the— Have you got a bug-out pack?

Tommy: What's a bug-out pack?

Josh: It's like a doomsday preppers use it, like a pack. In preparation, like an EDC for pregnancy.

Tommy: So, you do a— the hospital pack.

Josh: Yes.

Tommy: And so, that's currently what we're building out.

Josh: What sort of stuff?

Tommy: Things like candles, the electric type, like little nice ones, like a power board.

Josh: What's the electric one's going to do?

Tommy: Well, you just can't have flame in a hospital room. It's just a nice little mood setter.

Josh: Can you turn the lights off?

Tommy: Yeah, you can.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: So, this is the thing you don't know. Like, imagine the first time you go to give birth. How do you know that you can just flick the lights on? How do you know that you can say, I want it dimmed, I want the clock?

Josh: You're going to bring a Hue Boom?

Tommy: Yeah, you can. No joke. That's one of them. Speaker. What else is there? Like, you could bring a humidifier and you could bring like a thing that sort of sends out the little, the scented air.

Josh: Oh, yeah.

Tommy: You know, steamy air. I don't know the name of it, but—

Josh: Like an oil thing.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Like a— The— And so, what bag are you using? Like a duffle bag?

Tommy: We haven't got it ready, but we need to. But then inside of that, like, yeah, he wouldn't— Hydrate. We need some of that.

Josh: For who? For you or—

Tommy: For Amy. So, we want like 4 drinks ready.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: So, you want like—

Josh: Do you get anything? Are you bringing anything that's going to just make you a better partner? Some LaCroix?

Tommy: Yeah, that would be good. Yeah.

Josh: That's great. I should— Maybe can I—

Tommy: Yeah, you can do that. Maybe can I pack?

Josh: Yeah. You do cryopack?

Tommy: Because we need it to go because think about it, it could happen. Like Amy, the due date's like the 23rd or 5th.

Josh: Jelly lollies for Amy? She's eating jelly.

Tommy: Well, you want— She needs sustenance. Well, last time we literally got like, and I ate them all, like lollies.

Josh: Yeah. The last thing you want, to be honest though, like talking sustenance, like if I was giving birth and my partner gave me an Up and Go, Amy loves Up and Go.

Tommy: It's one of her favorites.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: No joke. But like banana bit, like they want peanut butter, little ball. Like, think about the, the sort of healthy snacks, like high energy but not sort of sugary sort of bursts.

Josh: And so what are you going to say if you were to talk me through it? You're saying you're project managing it.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: So you walk in. What are you saying to the people?

Tommy: Yeah, it's Josh. It's all about the tone that you set with them. So it's about the voice. Thank you. And then, um, and then I put the sign on the door and I closed the door. We need Blu Tack in our everyday carry. And so what we do is we put the sign up that says we're a hypnobirthing family.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: Yeah, that's what you're meant to do. They've got even like pre-prepared signs that are printed off in our booklet that we can put up there. But you said, how do people know? Like, you can say, I want that out of the room.

Josh: So what sort of set dressing? What are you going to take out?

Tommy: Well, you can take out some of the big machines if they're not needed. They can put them in the corridor.

Josh: So what's the point of the sign?

Tommy: Is so that— So that, so that, you know, is it going to be controversial?

Josh: Like, are you going— Because I think I would be. Obviously it's all about Amy on the day, but I feel like I wouldn't help but feel self-conscious if all of a sudden I'm like, no, we're running this how we like it. It's pretty easy. Yeah, yeah, I am. But this is a Tommy Jack. I think you will do really well at Yeah, setting the tone.

Tommy: So anyone who comes in the room would like to understand who you are and what you're needing each time.

Josh: Really? And so that's— Well, the thing is, you're the door bitch.

Tommy: Yeah, door bitch.

Josh: Yeah. Yeah. So you'll— And so have you supposed to—

Tommy: You could just call me a bitch. I'm doing anything and everything and it's not about me. I'm absolutely there for Amy.

Josh: So just this one day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tommy: 364 about me. 3, 6, the 5th, you know, that. Anyway.

Josh: And so, can you talk me through some of the things? Like, because it's almost, I can imagine it's like the checklist manifesto. You need to sort of have everything written down.

Tommy: Well, you hand in a birthing checklist to the midwife when you're signing in. So, you did that last time? No, they didn't do any of this, dude. We brought like a—

Josh: Just panic.

Tommy: Just, you just don't know what to do.

Josh: You just had your vlogging camera.

Tommy: Yeah, I had my camera kit.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: But we had, no, we had like a little bag to bring. But there is also, you just, you don't know. Like we want to set it and just be in a nice environment. Like, for example, stress can, adrenaline or like, you know, that spike of that feeling of fear can set you back in the labour. So, it can take longer. And so when your body isn't affected by all that stress, you can— it can happen faster.

Josh: TV on or off?

Tommy: I don't know if there's a TV in there.

Josh: I can't— because I could imagine if it's about relaxation, absolutely. It could be like, imagine if you'd learnt the, um, like you got your favourite film. What's Bodhi doing? Is he coming?

Tommy: This is the thing, I've— we're gonna have— no, he's not coming. But you need to have someone, someone that can grab him. Who'll look after Bodhi? Well, imagine if it happened in the middle of the night. We would have to take him to the hospital and I'd call Mum and Dad. They would drive because you don't backtrack. Definitely not for Bodhi.

Josh: Can he Uber?

Tommy: So, so they'll have to come and get him, which is, yeah, reality setting in, isn't it?

Josh: Well, that's exciting. And so, Tell me more. What else do you know? What do you still need to work out?

Tommy: I've got to work out where we park. So, you're going to do a dry run? Where do you park? Which hospital? I don't know where to go. I haven't been there yet. Amy's been once, but she still didn't know the parking sitch. So, it's just about— You wouldn't just drop her at the door and then find the park? No, that's the thing.

Josh: What about if she's like, if her waters have broken? Is there a—

Tommy: Water's broken is fine. So, the waters can break and then you can have the baby 10 hours later.

Josh: Yeah. So, I wonder if you— There's probably like some stand, like no standing parking that you could go in for like a loading zone to fucking load her in.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. Car gets towed.

Josh: But you're going to have to—

Tommy: No, we're going to find the park. We're going to know it all. Know exactly where to go.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Just cruise in.

Josh: It's going to make such a difference, isn't it? It's like a site recce.

Tommy: Mate, we're doing it. Yeah. It's crazy how little thought we put into it the first time, just because we, I didn't know what we could think. I think you're just so fucking like, oh my God, we're having a child.

Josh: So, fun stuff, like what are some fun things? So, the reason I brought up the TV is imagine if you're like, you know, Bree was showing me how at her gym they'll have songs and they'll say, okay, you've got to do this. Plank until the end of Beyoncé. And then when the next song starts, you change to jumping jacks or whatever. But I could imagine putting on Shrek or whatever movie it is. Yeah. And then you go through the stages. So by the time they're singing I'm a Believer, she's like full, full push.

Tommy: Well, I think it's— they haven't recommended it in the birthing class.

Josh: It's no movies.

Tommy: You know, nice music, mantras, put some mantras up on the wall.

Josh: But Amy's gone for some pretty hardcore tunes.

Tommy: Look, I've— Yeah, she needs to. I don't know. It's just she said, you're just going to be— Don't criticise my music. If I want it next, just press next.

Josh: Okay. So, makes sense.

Tommy: It's one—

Josh: What about sort of like instrumental?

Tommy: She's got some good ones in there. Should we see if people can start following Amy's? Yeah.

Josh: Yeah. Or at least putting in what, like a gronk, a gronk playlist.

Tommy: If you've had it, if you've given birth to some good tunes, what are they?

Josh: Ludovico Einaudi. I don't know. The Pianist is great for something that sort of feels cinematic.

Tommy: Yeah. Can you share a, um, playlist? Yeah, yeah, there's some nice stuff in here. Incubus, that's nice. Miley Cyrus, Slide Away. That's nice.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: There's heaps of great stuff in here. John Mayer. Uh, yeah.

Josh: What about an audiobook?

Tommy: I think, dude, I gotta show you some videos of women giving birth.

Josh: No, you don't.

Tommy: Um, have you ever looked at it?

Josh: Yeah, I mean, just, just on YouTube. It actually is.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, um, but we've been watching a lot of birthing videos, hypnobirthing videos in the course. And if, if you had watched these videos, you wouldn't probably be making these suggestions because you see how in tune with the breathing.

Josh: And but is there a version of being mindful but also just bringing a distraction element to it?

Tommy: No, because you— it's actually about focusing on the breathing in response to like Any meditation app?

Josh: Would she listen to meditation during? Would you?

Tommy: Yeah, there are some hypnobirthing, um, uh, like tracks that you can listen, that you could listen to, I reckon. Um, which I have been listening to with Amy.

Josh: And so, so it can go 24 hours, like you could be 24 hours in labour, right?

Tommy: It could, yeah.

Josh: And so what happens? Food?

Tommy: Yeah, what happens with food? This is the thing, you could eat Like they give you, they can give you like little sandwiches, but this is why you take food. Like even one of the midwives, the lady was saying that one of midwives that she knows would be giving the woman oats, bowls of oats. Like it's a lot of energies being expelled.

Josh: I remember when I was a kid, I wanted to get my tonsils out because my brother got to have ice cream for breakfast.

Tommy: I remember that vibe. That was, yeah, that was a thing.

Josh: What a sad— Yeah, but like.

Tommy: I mean, have you had your, um, nothing?

Josh: I've never been in, I've never been in surgery. I've had an epidural for my back.

Tommy: That's right, that's right.

Josh: But I've never, I'd be terrible at like, I mean, no one, Bree always says, you know, no one likes it. Like, I don't like cotton balls, I don't like, uh, I did it in the chair. Okay, the fucking, the, the tooth broke apart during, it's annoying.

Tommy: Oh, the bone, the bone. Um, No, because when I got my wisdom teeth out, I got ice, I got jelly and ice cream.

Josh: Oh, that's good. I, when I was a kid and I found out about the Tooth Fairy, we were watching a movie at school and I pulled out one tooth. I was like, this is too easy. Mum picked me up. I had a little Kinder Surprise thing and I shook it. Mum said, what's in that? And there was 3 teeth. I'd ripped out 3 teeth in one go.

Tommy: Were they wobbly? Or not.

Josh: Not as—

Tommy: Is that the gap that's a missing tooth in between?

Josh: Is it funny? I, um, you know, if you, you don't realise something about yourself and it just happened maybe a year ago, I looked in the mirror, I'm like, oh my God, what's happened to my tooth? And it's been like that for years and years and I just had never picked up on it.

Tommy: It's so weird. I became transfixed on something. But it's like I just noticed it.

Josh: I could imagine people with moles and stuff. Yeah, moles.

Tommy: Yeah, I've had that. Like, oh my God, I actually have a mole on my face.

Josh: Weird. Yeah, well, it's exciting anyway.

Tommy: Yeah, not long now.

Josh: How long till Amy's due?

Tommy: Uh, it's March right now. March, April, May, June. 3 months.

Josh: 3 months.

Tommy: Over a little bit over.

Josh: It's not long.

Tommy: That's not long at all. It's not long to, to grow a child in your tummy. 9 months. Flies, dude.

Josh: Well, we'll definitely— we'll work out a Daily Talk Show pack that you can bring if people want to send stuff. What happens— oh, here we go. Uh, the Daily Talk Show, like, doing an episode. Did you bring up with the, like, the trainers what happens if you're going to record an app? Are we just going to get someone, um, outside broadcast from the hospital? That'd be good.

Tommy: That'd be good.

Josh: I could do it from the car park.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Well, if you— Well, I mean, I have to like the hospital thing. You don't get to— The guy doesn't get to stay much. The partner doesn't get to stay in a lot of these public hospitals.

Josh: So, you are projected to come outside?

Tommy: Well, you're out at a certain time.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: When the birth is happening, yes.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: But if the birth happens at 9:00 AM and it's all good, I'd have to go home that night at 10 PM.

Josh: Okay.

Tommy: And have a sleep, and then I can get back in at 7:30 AM.

Josh: We might try and maybe, uh, Jess, George, and I can do an episode from the Lobster Shack. That was called Lobster Cave. That could be fun.

Tommy: That's annoying. I want to be there.

Josh: No, but it'll be a good celebration. Or maybe the, the next episode you're back. How much time are you taking off?

Tommy: I hadn't even thought about it. I haven't thought about it.

Josh: I mean, you need a few weeks.

Tommy: Well, because you don't know when it's happening. I mean, the thing is—

Josh: How long did you take off last time? A week. That doesn't seem like a long time.

Tommy: But not before I was non-existent around the house.

Josh: Yeah, sure.

Tommy: Well, and the thing is, Bodhi still has to go to daycare. There's like, when you have another child, there's Amy.

Josh: So, Amy's mum lives interstate. Like, are you going to organise like more family around or something as Amy's sister? There's so many logistics, isn't there?

Tommy: It's a— I mean, in respects to the second child, it is a bit that stuff because we've gone through the one and we had the support the first one, which was awesome. More so just with Amy's sister then coming down and it was harder. I think we're going to— This is optimistically going to be a much smoother ride.

Josh: I remember a friend saying that it was hard the first time they had to drive their kid, like drive the ba— Like the baby's in the car. It's like everyone's a bit tense.

Tommy: Oh, yeah. Taking the baby out into this natural.

Josh: Yeah. In the real world.

Tommy: First time out in the real world. I remember that.

Josh: How long was it? How long was it between when Bodhi was born? When did you leave the hospital after Bodhi was born?

Tommy: Yeah, it was the exactly what I actually outlined. I didn't even think about that. So, he was born at like 10 AM. And, um, or 9 AM, and I left that night for Amy to, um, stay there because I wasn't allowed to stay there.

Josh: Did she make friends?

Tommy: She was annoyed by the woman who was sitting next to her.

Josh: Hypnobirther?

Tommy: No, she kept on doing this all night.

Josh: To the baby?

Tommy: To her baby.

Josh: That's nice.

Tommy: But it's annoying when you're so tired, you know, it's like—

Josh: Sweet.

Tommy: There's some annoying shit that—

Josh: Yeah, yeah.

Tommy: And yeah, she was, I don't know if she could speak English and her kid had 6 fingers. Remember that one?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: A little extra one. So, every time I came out, I was just looking. Trying to see it. Trying to see this little pinky. Anyway, it's annoying. Like, you don't want to be in the same room or something. Like, you want the time for your family. Just, you know, it's not about other people. Yeah. You literally just want to be in that little. So, I don't know. The health system is amazing. The public health system here in Australia.

Josh: Did you look at private? What's the difference?

Tommy: You pay.

Josh: You have to pay for the private insurance, but you don't have to pay extra.

Tommy: If you had the money, you could pay and not have private health insurance.

Josh: Yeah. I had a friend that did that.

Tommy: She did have— 5 or 10 grand or something.

Josh: Didn't have the insurance, but then just paid to go private. But what's the difference?

Tommy: Your own room and stuff? Well, you get, yeah, yeah. You then get put into a hotel that has like people there.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: If something goes wrong, it's like, yeah, transitioning from the hospital to the hotel. I went and visited my brother, he was staying at a nice hotel, you know, eating the buffet. Went, you know, the lobster cave caters.

Josh: But is it like a hotel, like a Hilton or something? Holiday Inn?

Tommy: Where was it? This one in East Melbourne here.

Josh: And it's connected. Oh yeah, the East Melbourne, I guess they're like sort of.

Tommy: There is one connected to the hotel, is it? I don't know. Yeah, no, they actually put you up in some hotels, but they must have just on the wall in that area, they have midwives or nurses that are on call just in case something goes on.

Josh: Just remembered my ambulance cover lapsed yesterday. Got to do that. Reminder everyone, do your ambulance cover.

Tommy: If you're in Victoria.

Josh: It's not much.

Tommy: $89 a year for a family.

Josh: You got to have it though. Must be like $30 something. Yeah. I didn't have it yesterday and I was thinking.

Tommy: You're fine. There's a period of time. There's a grace period. But you don't want to get done with that.

Josh: No.

Tommy: It's $800 for an ambulance.

Josh: If you need a helicopter, $5,000, I think.

Tommy: Fuck.

Josh: It's not good. Anyway, any tips on giving birth? You probably don't want to hear them, right?

Tommy: Well, I don't want to hear negative storeys because that's the thing. Think about like if all you're hearing is negativity about someone else's birth, which is their own trip.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: You know, you got to experience yourself, but it's about surrounding yourself. If you had a really positive birth story. Let us know. That's the better version because then you're like inspired.

Josh: I, you know what I'm like, I like to help. Have you thought about magnesium?

Tommy: To what?

Josh: Don't know. Magnesium. I mean, for me, it's with your aches. Maybe spraying it on Amy's back.

Tommy: Yeah, that could be. I mean, maybe.

Josh: Look up magnesium giving birth.

Tommy: Childbirth.

Josh: Yeah. All right, great. All right. It's a daily talk show. Have a great day and we'll see you tomorrow, guys.

Tommy: See you guys.