The Pseudo Self-Help Guys

Tommy: The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 867.

Tommy: What is happening, Gronks? What's going on? How are we?

Josh: Very good, thank you. 16,000 steps yesterday.

Tommy: Got to do that. Congrats.

Josh: Thank you.

Tommy: Congrats. How many hours is that in total?

Josh: Just within the limits.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, too. So, 120 minutes. Thanks, Dan.

Josh: Do you know, I did it. I'm not even joking. Actually, I could probably play it. I got a voicemail, um, when I was out. I reckon, I reckon I was out a little bit longer than I needed to be. I'm not even joking, right? I got this. I'm going to just play it through the mic. It will sound a bit—

Tommy: hang on, hang on, hang on.

Josh: You can't hear it? Hang on, why can't I hear it? Oh, hang on, maybe it is connected to here. Here we go, let's play again.

Tommy: It's in your phone.

Josh: Standby. Is it in my phone?

Tommy: I heard something.

Josh: Stay safe and stay home. Stay safe and stay home. Time to stay home. Stay safe and stay home.

Tommy: Get out of here.

Josh: I got this as a voicemail.

Tommy: What? Probably like private number.

Josh: Private number. I was like, surely, like, I reckon I'm only 20 minutes over my time limit. Surely they don't have robocallers.

Tommy: Dude.

Josh: Isn't that crazy?

Tommy: Oh, the conspiracies. Let's form one. So, have you got the coronavirus app?

Josh: I don't. Well, no, no, no. So, I did have it, but all the Bluetooth stuff and you don't hear that it's that fucking effective. And so, I think when I was doing iOS 14 and I was cleaning up my apps, it did go.

Tommy: Look, it's— I think the government have buried it. They buried it a long time ago. You don't hear much of it. You don't hear— Yeah, exactly.

Josh: It's just taking up battery. Don't need that.

Tommy: Um, that is bizarre. It's supposedly they're doing a version maybe in the States of the app, like an app that's powered by Apple and Google. And so it's like has nothing to do with like a, um, you know, some sort of government body creating it and then having access. So it's like they're one step removed from the data. I mean, they're all— everyone's okay with Apple and Google having all your fucking info. But as soon as bloody Dan Andrews wants to know where you at, nah.

Josh: I mean, did you see the— on The Social Dilemma, I think they spoke about it there, the idea of taxing data mining. So, actually, like, if you have data on someone, you are taxed on the amount of data to try and discourage companies from holding too much data about their users.

Tommy: Where's it go? Like, how do they— How would they know how much—

Josh: It's in a spreadsheet.

Tommy: Is somewhere. Yeah, it's like, who's got that?

Josh: Like, as in, yeah, I mean, it would take a bit of effort, but I feel like it would actually be easier to police the big guys like your Facebooks. Because if you just—

Tommy: Yeah, you do the one, the people who have the majority of the data in the world. And so if you're just pushing them into the corner to say, give it, give it, and then they have to. It's, um, I mean, have you gone into it much about Trump's, um, uh, tax returns?

Josh: No, it seems like it was a cool $750 he paid, something.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's, you know, you can't say he's not relatable because that's what we usually are all paying, you know. If you're either getting a little bit back or having to pay—

Josh: no, no, no, no. So like, no, but think about it, uh, it's fucked. It's the best. No, but do you know how much tax you like? We pay heaps, like On a $90,000 thing, you're paying like $17,000, $18,000 grand.

Tommy: Grand. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I thought you meant he had to pay a tax return.

Josh: No, no, no. So, he— That's how much tax he paid. But so, it is pretty outrageous. And they did some sort of comparison where it's like, you know, fucking barista or something would pay, you know, $2,500 a year in tax. And he was paying $700— 50. It does.

Tommy: That's ridiculous.

Josh: Who's behind you?

Tommy: Well, I just heard a tap and I'm looking back. So, I may be regretting my bird feeding habits that I'm forming.

Josh: The magpies?

Tommy: Because I've got my, yeah, I've got my magpies. I've also established that there's at the front of our property. You say property, it makes it sound really big.

Josh: Do you want to?

Tommy: Oh, I do, yeah. Hang on, we've got a parcel. We gotta—

Josh: okay, all right, give it—

Tommy: okay, it wasn't an AI.

Josh: Here you go, live. Okay, uh, Tommy's just getting it. Has anyone, um— I'm gonna ask Tommy if he's seen The Octopus Teacher, that documentary on Netflix. All right, I wonder what the package is going to be. Hopefully he shares it with us. What is it?

Tommy: That is so funny. I thought it was a bird pecking.

Josh: No, I saw someone walk behind, so that's why I was like, when you said, oh, we have some issues with the magpies, I thought you'd pissed off the neighbours or something, and they're like, Tommy, stop feeding the fucking magpies.

Tommy: No, no, no. There is two huge crows, like big, you know, the big black ones. Yeah, huge ones that get into our bins. Like, they like, I don't know what they're getting. And then I come out and they've bloody— they're in the sweet potato dip. They've pulled it out of the— you know, there's like a little bit left in it and they've pulled it out. And, um, anyway, that was a delivery from Target. I don't know.

Josh: What are you opening?

Tommy: Just this present, this, um, delivery. Amy's buying stuff. What has she got? Knives. What is this? What is that?

Josh: Spoons. What is— oh, just measuring.

Tommy: Just to be honest, I thought it was for me because I'm waiting on, uh, $70 or $90 worth of socks.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: This is a—

Josh: but it says, um, it says Amy's name on it.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, but she does— she usually does my purchases.

Josh: Sure. Okay.

Tommy: And so she's bought—

Josh: wait, how many socks?

Tommy: $70 worth, or, or it was $90, can't remember because I didn't place the order, but I literally have got down to 2 pairs and because I go to the beach—

Josh: What brand of socks are these $70 to $90 socks that you've got? What are they?

Tommy: No idea.

Josh: No idea. Maybe Happy Socks?

Tommy: She did say that. She— I'll get you some Happy Socks, but I think they are about $70 a pair.

Josh: No, no, no, no, they're not. Happy Socks are quite inexpensive, but you need— I feel like you have to go through them. Like, I haven't done a sock or undie order in years, and I need to, like, I think I need to do that.

Tommy: I've got so— I've got way too many undies, and now I just don't have any socks. So I'm nearly back, guys. I currently am wearing shoes with no socks. That's how fucked it is.

Josh: It's not—

Tommy: yeah, I'm on the— I'm holding on.

Josh: Do you have any socks?

Tommy: Yeah, but then they got— though, they lose the elasticity, they shrunk. These ones, like, it's hit and miss, you know. You sometimes find some really good ones and then other times they just die and then they look like boaty socks.

Josh: It's the law of socks. Have you watched The Octopus Teacher on Netflix?

Tommy: Did George tell you about this?

Josh: No.

Tommy: George told me about some documentaries. Is it a doco?

Josh: Yep.

Tommy: Yeah, he said you will love this doco with Bodhi.

Josh: Yes.

Tommy: Is it something that Bodhi would like?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Okay. So, I haven't watched it yet. I was trying to remember what else you told me.

Josh: You will love it. The Octopus Teacher. So, it's a guy who becomes friends with an octopus. Real life? Yes. This isn't some sort of Finding Nemo shit.

Tommy: I was going to say, fuck, you've changed your tune.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, it's a documentary.

Tommy: Wow, so they're very smart. I once met with this guy who reached out to me and said, um, you know, uh, I'm working in the industry, I'm a producer, I'd love to, you know, work with you if I can. And I had no work for him, but I just met up with him, we had a good convo, and I got a good, good storey out of him. Um, he got nothing out of it, to be honest. He's probably thinking that guy was a fucking loser. Anyway, he said that he You know that comedian, um, oh, what's his name?

Josh: Karl Barron.

Tommy: No, no, no. He had a bad car accident. He lives in the States. He's a little dude. And, um, oh, Kevin Hart. No, I'll get there. I'll find it. Anyway, he was this guy's personal assistant. So, he lived over in the States and he was his personal assistant. And this guy loved animals, having pets, and had all these sort of obscure fucking pets.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And he came to his PA and he said, I want an octopus, I want this type of octopus. And so I don't even know if it was legal for him to own this octopus, but he had to produce it up and source this octopus. And get it delivered.

Josh: I like how you say octopus.

Tommy: Is it octo— When do you say octopi? Octopi. Is that multiple?

Josh: I don't know if it's a dessert, maybe.

Tommy: Anyway, so he got this pus delivered and it was— It had to be in a container that then was in another container that was in another container that was in a box because these things can get out of anything. They can slide under doors. They're actually—

Josh: I feel like once you see this octopus documentary, you'll then think that that's disgusting. Because I feel like even yesterday walking out and seeing birds, I felt one with the birds. I'm thinking about like, oh, you're thinking about stuff and so am I, and we're just all in this together. And it was after watching The Octopus Teacher.

Tommy: And so, disgusting in terms of keeping an octopus like that in captivity.

Josh: Yeah. Well, of course.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, they're too smart. They're way too smart. And that's why they're trying to get out.

Josh: What's a dumb animal that's okay to have in captivity, do you reckon?

Tommy: Well, you can look up animals that, well, they don't— the process in their head isn't one close to the human experience. And so, I don't know, like a— what is it? A goldfish? They're forgetting, aren't they? Don't they forget every 5 seconds?

Josh: Yeah, I don't know. I mean, lots of the the brain of the octopus, like it's actual, like its thinking capabilities is all in its like feeling and stuff is all in those like suction cup stuff. Interesting.

Tommy: Well, I mean, like what is it? What is Jordan Peterson talk about? They're shellfish.

Josh: Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like, no, it's the— What's the thing with the neck? No, it's not. It's a—

Tommy: What is it?

Josh: What's it called? What do you eat? Lobster?

Tommy: Lobster.

Josh: Is it lobster?

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, lobster.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: You don't eat them much. I eat them every night.

Josh: Lobsters. Can I just say lobsters are fucking annoying to eat? Like, Bri and I, we in Bali, this was going back, I reckon maybe, must be 9 years ago, in Bali for my birthday. It must have been like my 21st or something. And we went to a beach. Where you sort of sit on the beach, like you have like tables and chairs and stuff, and it's all fresh seafood. And if you go on to Bree's Instagram account, you'll see on my 30th birthday she did a bunch of photos, and one of them is a photo of me and her with a massive cake. No, that was a massive cake, and it was because it was my birthday. They just didn't give a slice, they gave a whole fucking cake for my birthday between Bri and I. And I'm like, what do I do with this? We ended up sharing it around. But yeah, the lobster thing, I just felt like even at the fancy end, it's just too much work. Probably more inclined for like a lobster roll, something that's, you know, white bun where they've taken the meat out, put it in mayonnaise, maybe some tartare.

Tommy: I think, I don't know, there's some experience, but who decides on The what becomes— No, what becomes like, you know, the fancy. Fancy. Yeah.

Josh: Like what becomes— I think it's based on like surely how hard it is to get it. But isn't there like a bit of truth in it's not always the hard things that are the best tasting, right?

Tommy: Yeah. Yeah.

Josh: It's the biggest scam.

Tommy: Well, what about Abalone?

Josh: What, like, what is abalone?

Tommy: Abalone, they're little shellfish. They stick to rocks. I've caught some before, probably illegal. But they're not— I don't— I didn't think they were that nice. But what about, what do you call it? The dogs sniff them out. Truffles.

Josh: Truffles, yeah.

Tommy: Truffles. Have you had truffle before?

Josh: Had it, yeah, like shaved onto something or like a truffle oil.

Tommy: Truffle eggs. But at that point, do you get it? Like, I don't think I would get the flavour enough, you know, like you want a mouthful of it.

Josh: Like, I think that potentially, yeah, it's overpowering, I think, potentially at that point, because I do wonder, like, what is it like experience-wise just to take a bite out of a truffle? Yeah.

Tommy: But then at what point is this stuff we're talking about just like constructs, social constructs around Specific things, because if no one cared for lobster, it was like, everyone's decided they're yucky, and then lobsters get to live in the sea and aren't fished as much. Or truffle just becomes this, you know, we've worked out that we're all finding pieces of shit, and it's just like, it turns out they're fucking— they're disgusting. Yeah, and then no one wants them. And so, that could start.

Josh: I mean, there was the strawberry, the needle thing that's happened. That's happened again. I think I saw, I saw a meme where it's like Adelaide woman finds needles in her strawberries and then someone's like, ah, 2020, like, don't do this to us.

Tommy: Yeah. I mean, whatever groan— That is the biggest groan move. Like, it's, it's, I mean, that's—

Josh: Very annoying.

Tommy: That's at the top, putting needles in strawberries and then halfway down is throwing ciggies on the ground. I saw this morning two blokes do it, and you're like, wow, I'm— I get fired up, but I refrain from saying anything. I want to, but then I just sort of get in my head about like, you've— you must have given up. Like, if you're willing to do that, you must have given up. Like, an octopus is smarter. An octopus wouldn't throw a ciggie on the ground.

Josh: Definitely.

Tommy: You may be walking and talking, and I'm surprised you didn't mention it.

Josh: Like say something to them.

Tommy: Well, one was a guy that worked at a café and I made some judgements.

Josh: At a café that you go to?

Tommy: Close by. I made some judgements and I was like, I feel a bit sorry for him. And then the other one was just a tradie. And he's my— This is the thing we've talked about, like dobbing people into the EPA. And I saw the business that he worked for. Like doing that stuff in a truck that is branded.

Josh: Yeah. Not ideal.

Tommy: Is no good. Like yesterday, you know, I may get a call from the cops, but yesterday I broke the rules. There's a— We went on a walk at lunchtime and nice sort of like walk along the highway, along the sort of in the shrub area.

Josh: Nice walk along the highway. Has anyone ever said that?

Tommy: It's like, so next to the highway, there's a big shrub area. Beautiful, beautiful. But you've got the noisy traffic, but then you've also got this sort of beautiful, you know, grassy, bushy area. And then so cut back around. And then I have done this before, but it's usually been after hours. I cut into a school, clearly says private property.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: It says private property, it's a school. There is one section of it though, where the sign says private property beyond this point. And so, there's these houses that sort of are on a hill or a cliff area and they sort of drop off. And so, it's like a continuation. You can see like there's steps down from the houses. And so, I think there may be like an area that isn't private property.

Josh: Sure. That isn't the area.

Tommy: And so, we walk along, we walk along that specific spot because it literally feels like you're in the bush, but you're 15 minutes from the city. It's so good. So good. It's the place where I said that there was a sign that says beware of snakes.

Josh: And so did you get told off walking along?

Tommy: And then we come up the other side and have to sort of like cut into the school and then jump the fence. And this guy who was mowing the lawns said to me, um, stopped his mower and was like looking at us. And we have our masks on, so you feel like a bit, you know, like you can't— no one knows who you are. And he said, um, oh, what are you doing? I said, oh, we're just going up, we're just going up there. Said, do you know this is private property? And I said, oh, but that bit down there, is that not? He said, no, it is. So I've been corrected, it's not, it is all private property according to him.

Josh: I mean, the fact that he stopped his mower was a big deal. Was your heart racing at that point?

Tommy: Yeah, Amy froze and stopped. I was continuing to walk, it's just like I was just beelining for the fence to get to go. I mean, it's the most low-level thing, just like going for a nice little walk in the shrubs. And then he's like, oh, you got to go back. I said, oh no, I'm just going up here to jump the fence. And then we left. And then—

Josh: So, you jumped the fence?

Tommy: Yeah, we walked up. It's probably another 100 metres.

Josh: Is it an easy fence to jump? Because I would be worried then that you're being watched and you might get caught with your pants down.

Tommy: No, no, no. He's turned the mobile back on and kept going. So, I don't know. But then—

Josh: What did Amy say? What was Amy saying?

Tommy: Amy panicked and she'd stopped in the moment. And then I said, come on, come on. And then she said, you do realise you got the Daily Talk Show t-shirt on? I was like, our brand has cut through if he reports that to the cops.

Josh: No, I'd appreciate that.

Tommy: But there was clearly like my version, if I'm in trouble or like in a situation like that, is just head down, keep going, keep going, keep going. Whereas Amy had the complete responsive, stop, and wants to talk through it. What would you do?

Josh: Wait, so did she want to talk through it with the mowing guy?

Tommy: Yeah, well, I did the talking in the end, but she was like, oh, she would have started, she would have come up with this whole thing or like, you know, gone into it and apologised, won't happen again, you know, all of that stuff.

Josh: Yeah, it depends. What do you do? I think it depends on what the situation is, like what the environment is, where I am in sort of the food chain. Like, I think that, so for instance, if it was technical related, I don't know how it could be technical related, but—

Tommy: You're in Amazon services. Yeah.

Josh: No, I don't know. Like, I feel like potentially outdoors or whatever. Fuck, what would I do? Because I am likely to do what Amy does sometimes, definitely. But then there's other times where I think it's probably confidence of the area. For instance, growing up next to a national park.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: We would go under fences and do all that sort of stuff all the time. And so, but also like cameras, the amount of, you know, people that have, you know, been told off for having a camera or filming something or shit like that. And so, for instance, when— Remember like 4 months ago, I saw this massive car accident and there was all the emergency services there, and I wanted to take photos. I was taking photos and Bree was like, absolutely not, stop that. And she fucking cracked it. And so I think given that, like, if you look at what I did in that situation, I probably would push forward potentially.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And but it is the feeling that I probably lived in as a kid, you know, like I was entering abandoned places. I was— there was a house at the end of my mate's street and it had been abandoned for ages. Not sort of like completely falling apart, but like still had old newspapers open and a coffee cup there. And we just found it fascinating and we looked around and we were digging down the side and fucking lifted this rock up and found a bag And in the bag was a couple of keys. And what do you do? You take the keys and you try and see if they're the keys to the house.

Josh: And?

Tommy: And so, you know, at the age of 12, I owned my own house.

Josh: I'd moved. Well, so this is the thing. So, I remember when we were moving into our new place, like when I was a kid and this was an estate that was like, we were one of the first houses to be in the estate. But then there's another section which is sort of an older estate. Anyway, Mum would go every single day and just cheque out the block. Like, if you've ever bought a house and like built and all that sort of thing, it's sort of a classic move. Like, you'd finish school for the day and then we'd all drive and get excited. Like, you know, park the car and look at the house and just get excited. And we were driving, we got there. And we see the garage door open and a bunch of kids in the garage, and Mum's in her SS Commodore. And so they're on bikes and they ride off, and so Mum chases them like fucking— and so around the corner, all that sort of thing. Yeah, big V8. And we find them, we find them like at another house out the front, and like We would just like, I'm sure I was like, you know, I was like 11, 12 years old, just like, you know, really, really aggressive. Yeah, yeah, because like I was like such a scaredy cat, like just always worried about— I've got this footage of a, um, there was always, seems to be a thing with new estates, like shit would get stolen. And I've just got footage, like my camcorder had like 100x digital zoom, looked like shit. But I would just be like zooming in. There was a property that was probably, it was up on a hill, it's probably like 200 metres away from our place. And there was a red van that looked suspicious, and I would just like sit there for like half an hour just zoom, like filming the whole, the whole thing. But nothing happened.

Tommy: Nothing happened.

Josh: Well, things happened, but I never got the crazy, like I've never caught someone like I'd like to. Like, I'm sure in a lifetime you probably, if you're someone who's into cameras and security and all that sort of thing, you can only expect once or twice in a lifetime for that shit to all play out. Like, I've worked out if someone's at the office, triple zero, say our office address, then get in the car, drive over there.

Tommy: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's something about that feeling of when you know you're being naughty. It doesn't happen as much as an adult, I don't think. I think it's probably happening recently with the lockdowns and people pushing the boundaries and feeling like, oh, I'm driving beyond my 5Ks and I might get stopped. And so, there is— It's not a good place to live in. But, you know, on the edge a few times a year feels good.

Josh: That's fine. I mean, I got a phone call from Ben Fordham.

Tommy: Oh, how's Benny boy?

Josh: He's good. He wasn't happy with me. He was saying, he's like, mate, I can't tell if Tommy was in a bad mood for Screenplay Sunday because you haven't mentioned it more than 3 times on the show in the last 3 days. He said in the— he said, I had it on and Jodie's asking, he's like, what are they talking about? And he says, you know, you with your pseudo Self-help. Like, there's so much pseudo self-help. He said, you know, you guys are just making stuff up. And I said, I was quite proud of myself without skipping a beat. I said, mate, isn't that your job at 2GB? Which I was happy with. But so, he thinks he was— I was like, have you listened to the whole episode? This was yesterday's episode. I said, have you listened to the whole thing? He's like, no, I've still got 15 minutes to go. And so, he was going to go off and listen to it. But there's some feedback from from Ben Fordham.

Tommy: He's listening to which episode? He's listening to—

Josh: that was yesterday's episode. That was the one where we were deconstructing, uh, your mood and all that stuff.

Tommy: Okay, okay.

Josh: And so he thought— I think he thought that me doing that was me still being pissed off about the Screenplay Sunday stuff. Oh, so he's connecting those dots.

Tommy: And is he on— is he, uh, is he on to something real? Is he on to something?

Josh: I don't think I don't think so. But I just— I just—

Tommy: because we can go another half hour just if you've got anything else you want to— yes.

Josh: Well, he was saying, his point was, he was like, you know, you just think, oh good, they're finished talking about it, and then you say something like, uh, oh, but so what do you think about— no, just bring it back up, which is a, which is a classic, uh, Josh Jansen move. I don't, I don't mind that.

Tommy: You know, we are the pseudo-self-help guys here.

Josh: Yeah, I'm happy to be the pseudo Mate, someone's got to help us. Anything else on Netflix, by the way, that you're— So, I watched— I'm trying to find good docos or things to watch in the evenings. Bree's just finished Selling Sunset.

Tommy: Oh, finished it. Great. No, I haven't been into it at all recently.

Josh: Netflix?

Tommy: No, nothing. Haven't watched. Well, we don't have a TV in our bedroom anymore, so it's out in the lounge room. Oh, one thing I did watch, and shout out to Dan Wickman, Gronk Dan, who edited it, the Cathy Freeman documentary on ABC. Watch it, it's on ABC. It's, um, it's— if you're our age, so you're around 30, even a bit younger, you know, Cathy Freeman running in the 2000 Olympics when it was—

Josh: just remember that body suit, it's like that, that—

Tommy: oh, they talk about it, they talk about it, they talk about what it meant and how it came about and It is a really great documentary and nostalgic. I think you'll love it based on the nostalgic.

Josh: Oh, great.

Tommy: Amy's crying, you know, and it's like, back then you didn't understand how powerful it was for Indigenous Australia and what it meant to the community. And just like, it just, it's powerful, dude.

Josh: Okay, beautiful. It's on ABC iView?

Tommy: ABC iView, yep. You can watch it. Cathy Freeman documentary. You could probably watch it overseas somehow.

Josh: You could use a VPN. Also, if you've got a VPN in Australia, if you go on to BBC's streaming service, Louis Theroux is doing a bit of a series at the moment. He's done, I think it's 4 episodes where he goes through his archives and sort of talks like he's sort of at home and he's going through boxes and he's talking about previous things that have happened. It's quite good.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Awesome. But yeah, the VPN, I think that you can get it through. Through doing that.

Tommy: Worth watching, guys. Worth watching.

Josh: All right, it's, uh, the Daily Talk Show. See you tomorrow, guys. Have a good one.

Tommy: See you guys.