A 30th Birthday Surprise

Tommy: The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 852.

Tommy: Happy 30th birthday, Josh Danson.

Josh: Thank you.

Tommy: How are we, mate?

Josh: I won't do the— I mean, you don't have the soundboard. It would have been obnoxious for me to play applause, wouldn't it?

Tommy: Well, if I clap, I think it'll echo around the house that I'm in right now about 40 times. Hang on.

Josh: Yeah, I mean, it's not ideal. So you've moved?

Tommy: Acoustics in the process. We're in the process of moving. So we've got like a lot of the stuff out downstairs at our old place is where I am at. It's my new office. And so I feel like I'm, any minute someone could come through and there'll be an open for inspection and I'll just be doing the show.

Josh: Is that really what's going to happen, do you think?

Tommy: No, not at all. There's no such thing as open for inspections.

Josh: Oh, sure.

Tommy: Because we're still in the lockdown. But we've, yeah, it's, we're in that transition period.

Josh: You don't worry about losing your bond?

Tommy: Absolutely not.

Derek: No, no, no.

Josh: I mean, what if you were to get caught, caught losing your bond, what would it be from, do you think?

Tommy: Oh, look, a few dints here and there. No, but more the cleaning.

Josh: How do houses have dints?

Tommy: No, walls, mate. Walls have dints. Have a child, have a dint. No, not me. But look, it's not about me today.

Derek: Today is your birthday.

Tommy: How are you feeling? On this day. What's your energy? Let's do a check-in.

Josh: Our energy is good. Uh, yeah, I mean, I was telling you before we started the show, in a classic sort of negative skew, uh, you know, for finding the negative in everything, like, why can't people be this nice every day? Like, why wait until it's my birthday to say nice things?

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. Look, it is— your mum's done a collage on Instagram. I was just smiling.

Josh: I haven't spoken to mum in 2 years.

Tommy: She's got all the family photos, you being a little cutie, you wearing—

Josh: they're all throwbacks to when I— when we used to see each other, you know.

Tommy: Oh my God, the last moments of you guys hanging out. That's very true.

Josh: It is, in all honesty, uh, like, it is, it is very nice, but it's like, it gives me— it stresses me out because it is not like— maybe this is a level of vulnerability Like, for instance, uh, GB dropped off some lovely things. He dropped off some, um, La Croix and little things like that yesterday, which was lovely. And in the panic, um, Bree's like, oh, GB's coming around, he's got something for you. And so I grabbed like, uh, 100 index cards, like one of the packets, to give George as a gift for him. Like, it's just there's an uncomfortable nature, but no, I'm very grateful and thank you for all the lovely messages.

Tommy: You're a giver. I mean, you're not a taker. You, um, you don't expect things. So, no, uh, there's a few things coming your way today though, so make sure that you embrace these. So we have a present for you that you want— we need you to open on the show, but we also have a video. Which one would you like first? It is your day, you get to choose.

Josh: So it feels like the video If we've learned anything like, um, over the years, you open the card first, like you read the card.

Tommy: Okay, yeah.

Josh: So with that theory, I feel like the video is like the card. Okay, so should we start with the video?

Tommy: Start with the video. Okay, this is something that GB the Sweetheart has put together, and it's all for you, baby. Take it away.

Josh: I haven't seen it. Well, I can— I don't know what to expect, but here we go. Thank you, JB.

Tommy: A message from Larry Bowa from the Philadelphia Phillies.

Unknown: Hey Josh, this is Larry Bowa, the Philadelphia Phillies. I got a great message from your friend George, and, um, from what I understand, you are getting ready to celebrate your 30th birthday. That's a nice number. I remember way back when, when I turned 30, that was a celebration birthday for me.

Tommy: That was 44 years ago.

Unknown: But on behalf of George and your family and myself I want to wish you a very happy 30th birthday. I understand you're a retired DJ.

Josh: The DJing, all the DJing stuff. Here I am trying to do something. I'm trying to bring a vibe, and all that happens is I just get shitcanned by everyone.

Unknown: And you attempted to walk a million steps in a month.

Josh: Sunday I did 490 steps yesterday.

Tommy: Do you remember when you set out to be the million steps in a month guy?

Josh: Yeah.

Unknown: Well, if you reach that goal, Josh, that's an incredible goal. You know, I try to do 12,000, 13,000 a day and I'm wore out after that. But to do a million steps in a month, I hope you did attain your goal.

Tommy: He got through 3 days but had to pull out from a sore foot.

Unknown: I also understand you're a baseball guy.

Tommy: Who's your team?

Josh: Phillies.

Unknown: The index card guy.

Josh: I've got more index cards, guys.

Derek: They've come in.

Unknown: You like Elton John and Pete Murray?

Josh: Pete Murray's track Opportunity, I have been playing nonstop all week, and I'd love for him to do it live on the show one day.

Unknown: That's a great resume you got going for yourself, Josh. And it sounds like you're a baseball fan.

Josh: The Phillies, massive.

Tommy: So do you know the rules? Do you know the rules of—

Josh: I used to play T-ball.

Tommy: T-ball is not baseball.

Unknown: So remember one thing, the Phillies are going to be in the playoffs this year. They're going to go a little bit farther than people think because they have a very good baseball team. I've been following them. I still work for them.

Tommy: The 23-year gap between winning a championship is ridiculous. So no.

Unknown: And, uh, I'm looking forward to the playoffs starting here in about 2 weeks. This is all about you, Josh. I hope you have a tremendous day. And I know the virus is sort of put handcuffs on the last 4, 5, 6 months.

Josh: Yeah, I bought handcuffs. They were real. My uncle said they weren't real, so I decided to handcuff him.

Unknown: Hopefully it's eased off here in the Philadelphia area and you'll be able to have some not only family attend your party but friends also. But remember one thing, we got to keep staying safe, obey the rules, and most of all, Josh, have a great day on your 30th Happy birthday, you take care.

Tommy: Thanks, Larry, and happy birthday, Josh. How much was that?

Josh: $50? Yep, okay, cool, no worries.

Derek: Oh, US?

Josh: So more like $70? Yep, no, that's fine, all good. Oh God, Larry's my favourite player now.

Tommy: You know who he is? Yeah, he's your— he's your hero, isn't he?

Josh: Yeah, yeah. I mean, thank you, GB. The controversy around the baseball stuff, because I've sort of got two teams going at one time.

Tommy: Oh no, no, no, don't do it. Larry's just done it.

Josh: Birthday video. If you look behind me, there's a baseball that's for the Houston Astros. And so, yeah, I started with the Phillies. But with all the COVID stuff, Phillies couldn't play, so I moved to Astros temporarily.

Tommy: I didn't know this. This is an update.

Josh: But I'm back on the— like, I actually prefer that. I did an Insta storey about the Astros. Yeah. And got shitcanned because Astros are one of the most hated teams in the league because they cheated.

Tommy: How do they cheat? How do you cheat in baseball?

Josh: So they were, um, they were using the sounds of bins in the back. Like, so basically, like, you've got different, um, spin— like, different sort of pitches that you can do. And so, uh, if the person who's batting knows what they're going to be, it's like advantageous. And so there was— yeah, yeah, yeah, they were sort of cheating that way. So, I mean, I'm a Phillies guy. I'm, I'm definitely a Phillies guy. And, um,. And that was a lovely message from Larry.

Tommy: Larry, yeah. Yeah, it's Larry. Larry's retired, but he's doing well. He's doing well on Cameo.

Josh: I mean, 13,000 steps a day is really good.

Tommy: For a 70-plus-year-old, it's bloody amazing.

Josh: And a baseball player, like, you don't have to be crazy fit to be a baseball player. Like, you could be eating hot dogs and staying home as a baseball player.

Tommy: It's like Shane Warne when he was bowling.

Josh: Oh, definitely.

Tommy: Back in the day, big fat guy smoking durries and drinking beers on the sidelines. How else, what else have you got today? Any other little prezzies?

Josh: Oh, so yeah, Bree, she wanted me to put this on, but like a happy birthday thing. It's a little bit obnoxious.

Tommy: That's so cute.

Josh: So it's a badge. I do go like, I don't know if this took away the whole sort of sentiment, but I go to like, how was this manufactured? Who's doing that? Just settle down. Who's, you know, what's the like, You know, what sort of—

Tommy: just blow out the birthday cake without thinking about the emissions from the candles.

Josh: No, but my favourite thing that Bree got me was this very nice leather—

Tommy: beautiful.

Josh: Yeah, and so that's going to, um, that's going to become sort of where I put all my nice notes and things.

Tommy: Mate, the sniff on that would be great.

Josh: Oh, it's really good.

Tommy: But I mean, you can't— the leather manufacturing—

Josh: think about it. Yeah, the poor animal. Yeah, I believe it's pleather, BK, if you're listening.

Tommy: Okay, and I've also got you a present. We're going into that phase now. This is opening the present I dropped off this morning. So you need to describe it. Yeah, describe it, cut to a wide, and go through it.

Josh: So it's a, um, it's got Christmas wrapping Is it? Is it Christmas wrapping?

Tommy: You mean it has that vibe?

Josh: It's got reindeer.

Tommy: I do— yeah, but it's a bit cartoony, so you might not— oh yeah, definitely Christmas. No, it's Christmas wrapping. It's all we had, but it has much—

Josh: Okay, and so it's big. It's probably the size of from my hips to my head.

Tommy: Okay, yeah.

Josh: And it feels like some sort of frame. All right, so I'm going to— I'm going to unpack Bo.

Tommy: Yeah, try, try to. That might just cause a bit of problem. I did not— I forgot that you are quite challenged when it comes to opening things.

Josh: I wanted to get that Knots book, remember? Hang on, so I'm just—

Tommy: So, um, it was a bit upsetting because Bodhi really wanted to come this morning and he was sleeping. And so I didn't want to wake him, but here, here we go. We're going to open it up.

Josh: Is this the front or the back?

Tommy: That's the back.

Josh: Should I do it like that, or should I do it so that it reveals?

Tommy: Oh yeah, but as long as you can see what's in there. Okay, okay, you ready?

Josh: I can't see it yet, but hang on.

Derek: Here we go. Ready?

Josh: Yes, so it is a photo, the photo from LA of you and I, uh, on a scooter together.

Tommy: Yeah, it's a Titanic.

Josh: Good. Does it— it's— is it obnoxious to have it in my office?

Tommy: Absolutely not. It's one of the best photos I've ever seen in my life, and that's not just because I'm in it. It's, it's got a huge jet plane flying above us doing a Titanic moment on an electric scooter. In Los Angeles.

Josh: So good printed, doesn't it? It does, like it looks— that's so good. Thank you.

Tommy: No worries, mate. No worries.

Josh: And I appreciate that you got, uh, Bree and I dinner on Saturday night, which was delicious as well.

Derek: Real good.

Josh: Yeah, what's it called again? What's the place called?

Derek: Maha.

Josh: Maha. Yeah, had, uh, yeah, it was A lot of food. Like, you know, I wouldn't even— I'm not even joking. I had this moment where I'm like, is this some sort of psychological test to see whether— Like, because it would seem like too much food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can hear some sirens.

Tommy: Can you? There may be something.

Derek: Is there something?

Josh: Hang on.

Derek: I don't know.

Tommy: He's going to cheque outside of his house. He lives 4 storeys up. And he's hearing some kind of sirens.

Josh: You shouldn't be doing the sirens. Stop the sirens. Whoever's doing the sirens, stop it. Seriously, stop the sirens.

Tommy: This is awesome. So, Josh, there might be someone downstairs. I want you to go and have a look, and then maybe we can do a podcast. Wait, so what have I got to do? Explain what you heard.

Josh: So I'm hearing the sound of the megaphone that I have, like the woo woo woo woo. But whoever's doing that, just stop. I can hear you. I'll come down, but I just don't want any police or anything to arrive. And so—

Tommy: No, no, no, you're gonna get a phone call.

Josh: Who is it? Oh no, it's Deb! Hang on, I'm just going outside.

Unknown: Hang on.

Tommy: So Josh is going to experience— Scooter Derek has a megaphone that he bought yesterday from Officeworks and is down on the corner in Collingwood bellowing out happy birthday through the megaphone. This is great.

Derek: Happy birthday to you!

Josh: Happy birthday, dear Josh! Happy birthday! Happy birthday! Thank you, Scooter.

Derek: Thank you.

Tommy: He's going to be on the show very soon, but he's gone all out for this. He was so nervous about it. He told me yesterday, he said, mate, I don't know if I have the courage to do this. But then he texted me this morning and says, mate, how's this for timing? I'm almost in Collingwood.

Josh: And so he's— I got some video of it. Everyone was stopped. So Scooter Derek singing happy birthday on the megaphone.

Tommy: Can you call him? Can you call him? I've got it. That's all I want you to set it up.

Josh: Do you want like— I can try and send the— actually, no, you have to go to Instagram to watch the video.

Tommy: It's all happening.

Josh: Oh my God, I can't wait. I'm having a panic attack.

Tommy: I can't wait till he tells you about what he wanted to do.

Derek: Scooter? Hello, Derek speaking.

Josh: Um, are you okay down there? Like, what's the— you playing the siren, what were people doing?

Derek: What are you talking about? I'm at home in bed.

Josh: I can hear the tram scooter.

Derek: I rang a birthday hobo song. It's like 50 bucks. Piece of shit. You pay the money and they go and yell out. Oh boy. Yeah. Yeah, someone first siren you didn't hear. So someone came out on the balcony below you. You've got new friends now. People in the street were a bit weird. I was a bit heartbroken though. A dude walked past while I was standing here with these two balloons full of confetti and a megaphone. And I've got a flowery mask on, as you can see. Yeah.

Josh: And the Daily Talk Show is—

Derek: yeah, go on. Oh yeah, sorry about that. It was just what I threw on. And the dude walked past and he had tights on that were like— had bananas all over them. And he was just crazy zany.

Josh: Yeah.

Derek: And I'm going, oh brother, maybe I'll ask him to form a choir.

Josh: Oh no.

Derek: But I— no, I didn't. But I just said, um, I just went, g'day mate. And he just went and just stared down and kept walking like, oh my God, I act crazy, this crazy guy. Happy birthday, mate. So excited.

Josh: So Bree has just sent me a, uh, a message, like, so on, on Facebook on our Apartment Block group. Yeah.

Tommy: Happy birthday, Josh.

Josh: Jensen of Level 5, your mate singing to you across the road is pretty special.

Derek: Who wrote that?

Josh: That's from a Chrissy Stamm. That's amazing!

Derek: Maybe you can go to birthdayhobo.com for me and bring it up.

Tommy: Hey Derek, can you tell Josh about the plan, the idea that you had that we ended up not going with?

Derek: Do you want me to— yeah, mate, you dodged a bullet so hard.

Tommy: Bomb threat at the apartment block, evacuation down to a— oh, look at this party, a gathering of hundreds.

Josh: What is it, swatting? You were gonna—

Derek: no, I was going— I was, I was going to sacrifice the bullhorn and I was going to just— you can record something into it, so I was going to record the birthday song into it. Yeah, gaffer tape it to a post and just turn it on and just run away. And I just I thought, you know, what do you want on your birthday? Humiliation and stress or cake?

Josh: Well, I mean, what I appreciate, Derek, is your willingness to humiliate yourself rather than me.

Derek: That just doesn't come into it.

Josh: I mean, because you're the— I mean, yeah, you're known around this area, so I feel like he's got more to lose. Yeah, you've got a lot to lose. A lot to lose. You're a small business owner around here. Like, fuck, I didn't realise Derek was taking it so hard, all of this lockdown stuff, you know. He's fucking out there with the megaphone. That was—

Derek: you know, that bright side is a little bit, you know, frowned upon. You don't want to go, yes, on the bright side of COVID right? But I tell you what, wearing a mask can do anything.

Josh: True.

Tommy: Yes, true. And just, um, some— I know, I know you're feeling a bit sort of thrown, Josh. Derek yesterday was very nervous. He almost wasn't going to do it, weren't you, mate?

Derek: I was a bit scared. Yeah, I get nervous about things like this.

Josh: I know why.

Derek: I feel obliged.

Tommy: Yeah, if you don't get nervous on things like this, you've really sort of got a few things missing.

Josh: No, that's really nice.

Tommy: That's lovely. Anything else?

Derek: Have a lovely day. Um, I better go. Yeah, because I've got to go to be with Dad.

Tommy: He's got another booking.

Josh: I've got—

Derek: my agent's just booked me for everything today.

Josh: Yeah, I mean, I just appreciate it.

Derek: It's a good—

Josh: I mean, it's a solid— I'm just proud of how well the megaphone works as well. The fact that I had the window— like, I've opened up the window now, but the window was closed, the blinds were down.

Derek: I know, I was so nervous when I put the siren on. Yeah, and I thought it would just go whoop and it got stuck on and it went full like Beyoncé. And then nothing happened at your apartment, but other people, they came out and I'm going, oh fuck, what do I do?

Josh: And so what was it? So you started Happy Birthday early?

Derek: Yeah, I started, I started a first run just so that people would know it's a celebration. Yeah, I wasn't here protesting. Free yourself.

Josh: Thank you, Scooter. That's— that was very, uh, nice.

Derek: And have a lovely day, and I love you very much.

Josh: Love you.

Derek: Balloons are down on the street.

Josh: Okay, great. There's like 2 penguins. Great, thank you. All right, catch ya, Scoot. Thanks, mate.

Derek: Bye-bye.

Tommy: Where was that fucking megaphone manufactured? That's the real question.

Josh: Ah, the, um, yeah, we'll have to, we'll have to play the, the video on, um, on Instagram. Hang on, let's see if you can—

Tommy: whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh yes, on the side!

Josh: That's—

Derek: thank you, Scooter!

Unknown: Thank you!

Tommy: That is amazing! The best is his vibrato. I was wondering, it's now answered the question for me, how the people in the Facebook group knew it was Josh Janson from Level 5. It's because he didn't fucking hold back. He should have basically said your apartment number.

Josh: That was very nice.

Tommy: Oh, you're feeling special, mate. Yeah, yep, that's, that's what it's about.

Josh: Panic attacks and all. No, it's all good.

Tommy: Andy, Calvin, Olivia, Vicky, Nelly, Greg, Sheena. Mate, these are all people coming through saying happy birthday. Emma, Georgie Boy.

Josh: They're not out front with megaphones? No, no.

Tommy: I mean, they would be if they could be, but they're not.

Josh: Well, that's, that's very special.

Tommy: Um, anything else you'd like for your day? What is it? I mean, I was, um, on the way dropping that off, I I saw some sort of food in a counter while I was getting a coffee and I thought I could get that for you.

Josh: It's such a big food day, isn't it? Like everyone, I think that like, like, you know, George with the LaCroix got me, um, peanut butter Whittakers or whatever. I just, I smashed it all yesterday and then just sort of like, yeah, I had panic attacks as I was just like, this sugar was fucking sort of working through my body as I'm trying to just yawning, you know. What time are we? You're eating all the time. Um, so anyway, thank you everyone. I feel very special. And, uh, yeah, thanks.

Tommy: Yep. And, um, that's about it, mate. That's all the surprises, nothing else coming through.

Josh: I appreciate that. All right, uh, it's a daily talk show.

Tommy: Go and see that video on Instagram. Uh, Josh is gonna post it.

Josh: Yeah, uh, I could have, I mean, this is where I go overly, you know, controlling everything, but I could have had a second camera set up there and all that sort of, but this is the beauty of it, isn't it?

Tommy: You wouldn't have had the panic attack, which is what I was going for. It doesn't come with a pre-organized shoot. That's why you organise it.

Derek: Yeah.

Josh: Thank you everyone. Thank you, TJ. Thank you, Scooter, TJB. We love everyone for all the the birthday wishes. And that was— I heard another siren. That's just the smoko for the, um, for the builder, the builders.

Tommy: Um, send your love through to JJ today, please. And, um, if you're in the future, send it anyway. Just anytime that you hear this episode, whether it be 2023 and it's February, just send Josh happy birthday, please.

Josh: Sounds good. Thank you. All right, uh, have a good one. Uh, see ya.

Tommy: See you guys.