The Drive-Thru

Mason: The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 795.

Tommy: We will say it, The Daily Talk Show, at all costs. It doesn't matter where we are, what we're doing, who we're with, we will do a show. We will not miss one. JJ, you're in your car, mate. You're looking, um, yeah, you're looking awkward.

Josh: First time I've ever been to, uh, Northland.

Tommy: Oh, yeah. It's Coburg.

Josh: Is it?

Tommy: Preston, I think. Preston.

Josh: Yeah. We just had to try and find the COVID testing drive-through.

George: Yeah.

Josh: Interesting fact about the drive-through is that it is a car park. So, we've— We went to the Target, they sent us in and we're now parked. It's not like a traditional drive-through that you expect. It's like we're waiting for our chips.

Tommy: Well, it's like you've gone through drive-through and then you've been sent out to wait in the waiting bay, or like you're currently in the Krispy Kreme drive-through ordered and waiting at the window?

Josh: It's like I'm— I've been sent to the waiting bay, but I haven't even put through my order.

Tommy: Ah, interesting. And this one comes with a free penetration of your nostril area. It's—

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: I wonder—

Josh: And so, Bree's also in the car and she's going to get the test. And she was just speaking to a workmate. Who said that she had it done and she could taste blood afterwards, which I feel like that's not something you say to someone before they're getting it done.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I've heard others say it's so quick that you're just like, ah, whatever. I think you'll be good. I'm always surprised that sort of—

Josh: I mean, yeah, what's the worst that can happen?

Tommy: Once you get it done. I mean, the worst that can happen is that you get COVID and you're out of here.

Josh: To be honest, the most stressful thing about this whole thing is me having the camera here. And like, I feel like you— this is a very Tommy Jackett thing to be doing.

Tommy: I know, but even as I've got older, I've started to feel more self-conscious. Not self-conscious, but just, I guess it's more thoughtful. Like, you're thinking about the situation you're in. But I appreciate, you know, you taking, taking one for the team. I mean, we've done, we've done podcasts from everywhere. Producer Jess, you know some of the locations off the top of your head? I'm hoping you don't so I can tell you. LA. Yeah, LA, yeah, the county.

Mat: Where are you from again? I was gonna say Bulleen, but that's not right, is it?

Josh: Shepparton.

Mat: No, no, no, not Shepparton. I mean, like, what suburb?

Tommy: Bratton? St Kilda.

Mat: Home.

Tommy: Yeah, I've done it from home. We've done it from everywhere.

Mason: Bulleen is right, you had it.

Tommy: Yeah, we've done it from there.

Mat: Was that right?

Mason: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tommy: I've done one from there, yep.

Mat: Great. And I feel like that's all I've got.

Tommy: Well, we've done Krispy Kreme.

Mat: Oh, you did it from Josh's house at the very beginning.

Tommy: Yep, correct. That was Abbotsford. We've done them from the Big Apple, Times Square, rowing.

Josh: Guys, I wish I brought my walkie-talkies. I'd love to be across all that. A lot of walkie-talkie chat. I'd love to have my scanner.

Tommy: You'd tap in. Yeah, Krispy Kreme, Central Park, down— where else have we done them, JJ? Any other fancy spots? Have we done?

George: Strawberry.

Josh: I'm sure the Big Strawberry was a good one.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: What was the most stressful location we've ever done?

Tommy: Well, New York Times Square. You nearly got nipped by a horse that was sort of behind you, tried to eat your microphone at one point. That wasn't too stressful. This— oh, we did it like from the Grove in LA. Just— it was all the spots where we're not actually meant to be doing it. Like we're just sitting at a doughnut shop out the front. This was before we did video. Hey, one thing on the Grove. So, the Grove is like, I don't know what you'd even classify it as, like Southbank in Victoria. And there's nothing—

Josh: An open-air mall, maybe?

Tommy: Open-air mall. Christmas time, they're like shooting this fake snow. There's a tram that goes through. It's magical. This is where we were.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tommy: It is all boarded up. It's all boarded up. It has basically a Bellagio fountain show. That's off. It looks like a zombie apocalypse, literally. And that's in the heart of West Hollywood. It's sad as shit, man. So, anyway, I feel like this is—

Josh: Surely I don't need my hazard lights. We're parked.

Tommy: Are they asking people to put on their hazards?

Josh: I'll let you know. Yeah.

Tommy: So, at any moment, Josh could be approached by someone in sort of high-vis. I wonder who's doing their PPE.

Mason: What's the vibe? Yeah. What's the vibe? Have they got masks on, Josh?

Josh: Yeah, they've all got masks. There's high-vis and masks. Uh, the guy said, now, do you have— uh, I'm like, I'm here for a test. And he said, a COVID test? Question mark. Like, it was like a question, which is sort of weird. And then he said, have you got COVID symptoms, or are you in— and are you in a COVID hotspot? And I said yes. He said drive-through.

Tommy: God. Uh, Did he, I mean, did you just answer yes that sort of answered both those questions or?

Josh: Yeah. Well, I didn't really know. It feels like I drove 20 minutes to get here so that I didn't have to deal with going down the street and actually like booking something in.

Tommy: I actually think it's smart not getting out of the car, as in you just can be in a capsule just going past.

Josh: It is annoying. Like, what can we do afterwards?

George: Well, that was—

Josh: Here we go.

George: That's it.

Josh: Go on, Jimmy.

George: Oh no, there was Dan Andrews a few weeks ago was talking about people that would get the test and then just go for a quick shop, walk around the shopping mall, go to Northland, go to Athletes Foot.

Josh: Yeah, well, there's a lot of car parks.

Tommy: Is this legit what people were doing?

George: That, yeah, and he's pissed off.

Mason: It's not fair.

Tommy: Cool.

Mason: Yeah, it's outrageous.

Josh: What do you think?

George: Hungry Jack's?

Josh: Do you reckon I could— do you think it's okay for me to get Hungry Jack's Drive-through after this?

Tommy: Yeah, I reckon.

Mason: Drive-through is okay.

Tommy: I reckon you can. It's pretty contactless. Just don't talk when the person hands you the food and just don't touch their hand. So, just take the other side of the bag.

Josh: But you guys think I should get Hungry Jack's? Yeah.

Tommy: Well, I mean, I'd go KFC, to be honest. George and I have been talking about KFC. I got a picture from George the other night just of a KFC bag and he said, Amy, what did you say?

George: I said, for Amy.

Tommy: For Amy. And I was like, what are you and Amy got going? And then I heard that they had a D&M about KFC.

George: Oh, we had a great chat. Amy loves KFC.

Mason: What's the best part?

George: Well, you don't like chicken on the bone. No, you don't like wings.

Mason: No, no, no chicken on the bone.

George: So you wouldn't like it.

Mason: I love the popcorn chicken.

George: Popcorn chicken, that's great. The chippies are nice.

Mason: Chippies are good.

George: Um, but KFC is so, so good.

Tommy: Why? I mean, I love it, and I, and a bit, I'm just I want to know what you—

George: I love fried chicken and that those secret herbs and spices, you can't get past them. They are pretty, especially when it's like really hot chicken. Like the one that got delivered the other night was just like perfect. And it was actually dessert. We did have dinner beforehand. Yeah, you already had dinner. We had a stir fry. But just, you know, we'll both just like—

Josh: Two dinners. Yeah.

George: Wouldn't mind a second, second little snack. Maybe a few chippies, maybe a few wings.

Tommy: Jess, what did you grow up on? In Bendigo?

Mat: Uh, Maccas.

Tommy: It was a Maccas Friday night. Did you do Friday night Maccas?

Mat: We did Friday night junk food night. Yeah, yeah, we're allowed to have whatever we wanted.

Tommy: Fuck, that's annoying when you got two sisters and they all want different things for your parents.

Mat: No, I feel like it was always the same. Okay, yeah, so it was like Maccas or, you know, Clogs or fish and chips.

George: Clogs?

Mason: What's Clogs?

Mat: It's a restaurant.

Tommy: Doesn't sound good.

Mat: No, that's the best pizza in the entire world.

Tommy: Did you have to dine in or this is takeaway?

Mat: Either or, mostly takeaway.

Tommy: Clog's still there?

Mat: Yeah.

Tommy: Still good?

Mat: The best pizza still to this day.

Tommy: Hang on. So, you're 30. When we were young, we were eating thick crust, like fat base. It wasn't this sort of—

Mat: Pizza Hut.

Tommy: It was Pizza Hut-esque style. Now it's all like— Bodie is a kid born in 2016 that only knows flat, you know, thin crusted. I got him another pizza that was old school and he's like, yuck.

Josh: Gronkh next to me is, is, um, smoking, so I've had to do up my window.

Tommy: Oh yeah, that is outrageous.

Josh: In the car, it's, it's— she's literally like less than a metre away.

Mason: She's definitely got that car.

Josh: Something stinks.

Tommy: If COVID's choosing one of you, it's hers.

Mat: I mean, her lungs are fucked.

Tommy: Yeah, it's fucking trapped in the car now.

Josh: So that's the thing about smoking, it feels like she fucking Yeah, the reason why her chest hurts is because she fucking can't go half an hour without pizza.

Mason: She's got cancer.

Mat: Yeah.

Tommy: And so was it— is it thin crust now or is it still thick crust, Jess?

Mat: At Clogs?

Tommy: Clogs.

Mat: Yeah, it's kind of like, I don't know, it's like a happy medium. It's not super thick, it's not super thin.

Tommy: They've adapted with the time.

Mat: It's not like a wood fire pizza.

Tommy: Okay, what is it then? It's just, I don't know, rolls through the conveyor belt.

Mat: It does.

Tommy: Yeah.

Mat: It's just a nice even spread of dough.

Tommy: Is it?

Mat: Do you know what they used to do? What? You'd go there and you'd eat, and as a kid, you'd get a big ball of dough and you would turn it into something. It's so un-COVID-friendly. I know. And then they'd put it through the pizza oven and come back as your piece of bread. So, you could make like a dog or a horse or whatever.

Tommy: What was your go-to?

Mat: I used to eat it. Just raw dough.

Tommy: Oh, yum. Even more COVID.

George: What's wrong with you guys?

Mason: No, I—

Mat: Grow some pastry.

Josh: Yeah, no, that's so yum.

Mason: Cookie dough.

Mat: Pizza dough.

Tommy: There was a bunch of those things at old restaurants that you could do back in the day. So like there was something called Sizzler. Remember Outback?

Mat: Like, Sizzler is so good.

Josh: Bree is absolutely ropeable, by the way. She's about to blow up at the lady next to the car this morning.

Tommy: Go, Bree, go do it, Bree.

Mason: Do it. She deserves a blowout.

Mat: Give her an uppercut.

Tommy: Bree's got hutzpah.

Josh: You gonna do it? No, she's just like, if we were outdoors, Bree would be doing an obnoxious cough right now. It's all good in the line.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: Yeah.

Mat: Don't cough now.

Tommy: It's— Don't cough.

Mat: You're in the wrong environment for that.

Tommy: So, I think it was Sizzler or one of those used to have nuts that you could chuck on the ground. So, you'd eat and crack a nut open, then throw it on the ground.

Josh: Do you remember that, Josh? Lone Star.

Tommy: Lone Star.

Mason: Yes.

Mat: What the fuck are you guys even talking about?

George: Melbourne, mate.

Josh: So, Lone Star became— I don't know if Hog's Breath actually took The light, like the leases, but a Lone Star on like Dandenong Road turned into a Hog's Breath. But they, yeah, they would, you would get peanuts and you would get to crack them and put them on the floor. And they would also play the song and they would do a line dance at random intervals throughout the night. Yeah.

Mason: Oh my God, what an experience.

Mat: It stresses me out.

Tommy: I just got stopped by a paywall, but for themorningbulletin.com.au, but it does sort of Grab some of the article and it says, I just typed into Google Lone Star nuts on the ground and it said, yes, you can still throw peanuts on the floor. Ever since it announced Lone Star Rib House would be making a return to Rockhampton, locals who fondly remember the restaurant having been asked if they can throw peanuts on the floor like the old days.

Mat: It's quite discriminatory, really. Like, people that are allergic to nuts can't go. Walk into an anaphylactic shock.

Tommy: I know, but it's probably— I mean, it's a bit—

Josh: What about like, there's allergies for everything, Jess. Does that mean that like, um, we're gonna stop every type of restaurant based on— Grumps, if people who are allergic to, uh, yeah, but do it— No, we're not doing bakeries anymore.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mat: But that, that's kind of obvious. Like, you can't just be throwing nuts on the ground.

Tommy: Yeah, but is that not why the nut allergy issues happen? Because we've been putting our babies in cotton wool.

Josh: So you think, TJ, the reason why there are nut allergies is because there aren't enough nuts in circulation?

Tommy: Yeah, no, well, it's a weird one. I mean, the correlation between, uh, the hyper-awareness, which is one part kind and, uh, thoughtful for people with nut allergies And then, so for instance, we get sent, as a parent, I get sent emails all the time about nut-free, egg-free. It's like all over talking about Bodhi going to daycare. You cannot have any nuts, you cannot give them any nuts to take in. So I mean, there's days where Bodhi has smashed a peanut butter toast before we've gone and it's on his face. And so at what point do I rule out peanut butter for Bodhi in the morning for having toast? Like, I do the right thing by trying to wipe his face.

Josh: Just wipe his face.

Tommy: I wipe his face. Yeah, 100%. But a kid, dude, it's all over their hands, in between their fingers. I do my best because— and I say, Bodhi, kids have allergies, we're going to get rid of this. But when it's on his t-shirt, it's a hard one.

Mason: Yeah, and peanut butter.

Josh: So if we were doing catering— we've never really spoken about this as a team— if we had catering, are there any, um, Food allergies or food requirements.

Tommy: Alright, let's go around the room. George, you get to also bring up what you wouldn't want seen in the catering.

George: Okay.

Tommy: But also any allergies.

George: So, I'm completely allergy free.

Mat: Yeah.

Tommy: Like you.

George: And I enjoy basically any food. But interestingly, my family has got a lot of dietary requirements.

Tommy: Really?

George: So, it's like—

Mason: But you've escaped.

George: Yeah. So, I'm completely normal. But, you know, when there's a big family dinner or whatever, it's like this person can't have fish, this one no dairy, this one gluten-free. So, yeah, lots going on. Vegetarian, vegan, got everything. But I'll eat anything. Don't really like licorice. That'd be the one thing I don't want to see.

Mason: Red or what's the vibe?

Josh: Either.

Mason: Black.

George: Black. Don't like black licorice. Don't want to see that on a spread.

Tommy: If you were to just have one, if you said licorice, I don't think there's types. I know there's red licorice. But really, the flavour of licorice is the black flavour. It's aniseed.

Josh: Well, that's aniseed. What you're describing is aniseed.

Mason: Yes.

Tommy: And so, but how nuanced is it now when Sev says he's the licorice guy, but it's actually red licorice that he likes.

Mason: Yeah, don't like black, love red.

Tommy: So, then what he likes is raspberry-looking licorice.

Josh: What about those raspberry drops? Those chocolate-coated raspberry drops? Oh, the bullets? Nah, nah. Michelle Butterfield's been posting about these. They're like a raspberry that's got chocolate around them. They're not licorice.

Tommy: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go and then Steph's gonna go because we'll leave Jess because I reckon she'll be long, long list at the end. I'm not.

Mat: Not?

Tommy: No.

Mason: Oh, well, go, Jess.

Tommy: Okay, go then.

Mat: I have no allergies, I just don't like seafood.

Mason: Okay, that's all right.

Mat: I don't want any fish, crabs, take those dirty shells off.

Mason: Oysters.

Josh: What do you get at fish and chips?

Mat: I mean, I will eat fish, to be honest. Sorry, I'll eat, um, what do you call it, flake. Okay. And I like salmon.

Mason: Of course.

Tommy: Okay, yeah, great. And so, uh, tuna, I know you eat tuna sushi.

Mat: Yeah, but it's just like the—

Josh: like, for someone who doesn't eat fish, you eat a lot of it. No, I eat—

Tommy: sorry, okay, yeah, tuna for lunch today.

Mat: I eat fish, but I don't have like the shelly versions of seafood.

Tommy: Okay, have you been to Yoruldo front stations?

Josh: Is that what it's called?

George: I think so. That's what I thought.

Mason: That came to my head as well, but I wasn't sure. I thought crustaceans were just the little, very small particles of stuff in the ocean.

George: Oh, quick.

Mason: Whales and shit.

George: Quick crustacean fact. Yeah. How long do lobsters live for?

Tommy: Oh, I reckon.

George: Couple of years.

Tommy: I reckon there's like one. I reckon ones live for up to 17 years.

Josh: 200 years.

Mat: What?

George: How long? 100, roughly.

Josh: Wow.

George: And the ones that you buy at restaurants, like the big ones.

Josh: Yeah.

Mat: The big mamas.

George: They're usually about 22 years old.

Mason: Oh, my God.

George: Little bit sad, isn't it?

Tommy: No, they've had a good innings.

George: Yeah, I guess. Pretty boring.

Tommy: I wonder what lobster years are, you know, like dog years. They're actually— They want to die. 100 years of life. Lobsters want to be eaten.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: That's what I've heard. That's what I've heard. Okay, so that doesn't seem too hard. But so, Um, seafood in Italy, you're on the waterside, you get a pasta.

Mat: Don't even get me started. That's my dream. I just want to have a seafood platter by the sea. But you don't like seafood? I know, I want to live that lifestyle, I just don't like it.

George: Okay, yeah, sure.

Josh: So, um, you don't like the taste?

Mat: The taste, the smell, that you have to fondle it. Like, it's just gross. Yeah, they have to pull poo strings out of like prawns and shit. It's fucking disgusting.

Tommy: Oh no, I get it. What?

Mason: Is that a thing?

Mat: Yep.

George: Yeah.

Mat: And rip their heads off. Oh yeah, it's like, give me the food when it's ready to eat.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just bloody take me back to Clogs in Bendigo. Like, how much? A girl just wants some dough.

Mat: I would be eating pizza anyway, not seafood.

Josh: Jess, is there only one Clogs or are they all around the place?

Mat: No, it's just one. It's a family-owned business.

Tommy: Oh fuck, I want to, I want to do when it opens up a road trip just for Clogs.

Josh: The Clogs Road Trip. It reminds me, maybe it's a, it's a Richays that never sort of scaled up.

Tommy: Clogs, you could franchise. I reckon Clogs seems like, oh dudes, we're going to Clogs. There's clogs everywhere.

Mat: It's the same family behind Stokehouse in Melbourne.

Tommy: Okay, so they know what they're doing.

Mat: Yeah, it's a nice restaurant.

Tommy: And hang on, did they— they're from Bendigo?

Mat: The Van Handles.

Tommy: Oh, the Van Handles.

Mason: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mat: I don't know if they're from Bendigo, but half of them were in Bendigo and the other half— because the other one of the brothers, one of the sons of the person who started Strokehouse.

Tommy: Victoria Coffey?

Mat: Not entirely sure, but he used to run the Byron Bay pub.

George: Oh yeah.

Tommy: So the Van Handles were kids. So when I went to the private school and it was the kids You know, oh, my friend's friends with the Van Handels and they have the, you know, the marquee or something. It was, it was, um, that were the family, you know, so if you knew some of the kids, you'd be going to sick kids.

George: Sounds like the twins that Mark Zuckerberg stole Facebook from. Oh yeah, yeah.

Mason: The Winklevoss.

George: Yeah, that's the one.

Tommy: The Winklevoss. Van Handel. I want to find out what else they own. Van Handel family, Stokehouse. Because it, I, maybe it is Vittoria Coffee or Stokehouse owners Frank and Sharon.

Mat: Shazza.

Tommy: Fucking just sound like just absolute legends.

Mason: Aussies, yeah.

George: Aussie battlers.

Tommy: They just sold their— they sold their Toorak mansion for $12 million and they couldn't scale old Clogs.

Mat: No, Clogs is iconic. He can't do that. As soon as it becomes challenging—

Josh: So, the thing is, this is interesting. So, Van, I think that the like surname with the van is Dutch, and clogs are Dutch. So yeah, connection there.

Mason: Wooden shoes is all you said?

George: Yeah, wooden shoes.

Mat: Yeah, that's what I had.

Josh: Multicultural Day, that's what I would rock up in.

Tommy: Oh, oh, hang on, I got a good one. Um, have— Josh, have you been to the Kuckuck?

Josh: Yeah, of course. Yeah, that was our German excursion. They got cut down and then they rebuilt.

Tommy: So, the Kuckoo is a German restaurant up in the Dandenong Ranges, and it is an all-you-can-eat. It's probably about $59. And they do— You can just stay there for hours just eating as much as possible. They have people dressed in their sort of, what are they called? Like—

Josh: Leatherhausen.

Tommy: Suspenders. Is that what they're called? Leatherhausen. And there's a cuckoo clock. That every— maybe it's every half hour or on the hour, cuckoo, and it comes out and there's shitloads of them all around.

Mason: It's really—

Tommy: it's a real experience. We had my grandfather's maybe 80th or 70th birthday there, and it's one of the classic ones. It was, um, I think it was a hot-ish day. He was born Feb— yeah, Feb 14th. Fuck it, this is great, coming on back. My son is a reincarnation of my grandfather, born on Feb 14th. Um, anyway, my cousins couldn't get up. It was the old school, they had a VK Commodore or something, and it couldn't get up the hill in the Dandenong, and so they couldn't come. And I just remember having my hand in a bucket of water because I'd burnt myself before we went, and so I was feeling sorry for myself.

Josh: Just realised I had the battery on the whole time. Do you reckon the car's gonna start?

Tommy: Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, 100%.

Mason: They've got jump leads there anyway.

Tommy: Oh, do they?

Mason: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they did mention that at all testing sites, they've got jump leads.

Tommy: Oh, that's great. Because I think we should all go to the Cuckoo when it opens up. So we've got, we've got Clogs in Bendigo. We've got the Cuckoo up in the Dandenongs.

George: Kransky, can you eat Kransky?

Josh: Mexican Cantina we need to do.

Tommy: Oh yeah, Mexican Cantina. We needed to, fuck.

George: KFC.

Mason: A lot of places.

Mat: We have a lot of drinking to do.

Tommy: This could be a, we should try and sort of gear it to a good place in the business where we can actually just take Fridays off and every Friday we go into one of these places. Wouldn't that be good?

George: Long lunch.

Tommy: Yeah, for the show, for us personally, just to bond. Sure. There's a bunch of stuff though, Josh, that these babies won't eat at the Cuckoo. You know, like German salted fish. I know you wouldn't eat it either. I don't even— It's a bit weird.

Mat: I'd eat that. Do they have sushi? That's all I care about.

George: I'd eat that.

Tommy: They've got roasts, like all the different sort of roasted meats, and they have a pancake bar.

Josh: Seems like the type of food that would make you constipated.

Tommy: Yeah, I definitely— clogged. Good one, Seb. Is it the seat that's making you funny?

Josh: I think it's my seat. I think it's funny from my seat.

Tommy: The delay is definitely meaning I'm getting in first before you are. Um, Seb, what's your—

Mason: olives. Wouldn't do anything with olives.

George: Done. You want one of those?

Mason: You can't even have it on the plate because it ruins— it's like olive bread. We've been through it. Like, you can't have olive bread because it ruins the entire bread. If you put olives on the plate, it ruins the entire plate.

Mat: I think you're just too young.

George: No, it never came for my brother.

Tommy: Bodhi likes it. He's 3.

Josh: Talking about the on-the-plate thing, I remember Hamish Blake describing mushrooms to me. He can't stand mushrooms. And I said, I'll just get it off you, like, just remove it from your plate. He said having mushrooms on a plate and then getting them to remove it is like someone putting dog shit on a plate and then just asking them to remove it. You've got it like the whole plate's ruined.

Mason: Yeah, same thing with olives.

George: Fuck. Baby boy Blake.

Tommy: It's the annoying bit is I grew up with a father that used to tell me, you know, like, ah, you know, my dad was in the prisoner of war camp captured by the Japanese and he would eat weevils out of his oats. And so, I just remember that real vividly. And then we found weevils in our Weet-Bix and I said, fucking Echinidies, Echinidies weevils, I don't want them. We live in Brighton, bitch. No, I feel like he doesn't complain a lot, my dad, about food. He would eat the stringy bits on bananas and he's a maniac. He's a maniac. He would always, yeah, anything fell on the floor.

Mason: My granddad eats a whole apple.

Tommy: Yeah, my dad did that too. That's a real manly move. Yeah, I wouldn't go anywhere near.

Josh: Just imagine the guts, the guts to be able to do that. Like, it must just like get it, yeah, acidity, just to fucking just, just completely absorb the whole thing. Uh, 3 days ago, Bodhi helped himself to a Chewy, and I just said, now you don't swallow it. And then like 30 seconds later, I'm like, where's the Chewy gone? And it was gone. He swallowed it.

Tommy: Oh no.

George: Yeah, yeah, staying in for 7 years.

Tommy: Yeah, you just fucked it. And then the other night, then after that, Josh, I look over and he's eating it. I said, what are you doing, Amy? She's, no, I've told him if he eats, if he swallows it, he doesn't get one for a year. And then I see him chewing, and I was kind of like, that's cool. Like, looking at this 3-year-old just like, it's like there's something cool about it. And then I see him stop chewing, and I was like, Bodhi, where's it gone? In here. Opens it up, and he's swallowed it. So he's not eating until he's 4.

Josh: I feel like as a kid there are a bunch of things that I didn't get for a long time, like soft drink. We got cordial. Which the funny thing about cordial is it's just as bad as soft drink. It just doesn't have the carbonation.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: But Magnums ice creams we didn't get until— I remember the first one that I ever had was on the boat that goes from Queenscliff.

Mat: To Surry Hills.

Josh: And yes. And my mum's auntie asked what ice cream I wanted and I said a Magnum and mum wasn't there to— to say that kids don't eat Magnums. And so I got that for the first time. Yeah. But I mean, what were the, um, GB, what were the things like, were you in a strict family or did Kaz let you eat whatever you want?

George: Nah, never Maccas from Mum. Yeah, that was naughty. Dad sometimes would give us like little chippies on road trips.

Tommy: But so is the guy that gets dessert KFC really just saying fuck your mum?

George: Yeah, it's just like 18 years of No junk food.

Mason: Gotta go hard.

George: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: And so do you work off each other, like each parent? Like if my parents had separated, it would have been an absolute nightmare because I would have been gaslighting them and fucking like working off one another and doing all that sort of shit. Were you a good kid or would you sort of get them against each other?

Tommy: You're a real piece of shit.

George: No, I was a good kid. I didn't get— No, not at all. It was just, um. No, I don't think I got them against each other. I think I was actually the— well, I reckon I'm the favourite. Yeah.

Tommy: Well, your mum calls— you speak to your mum a lot.

George: She'll actually be really sad if I said that. No, she jokes that I'm the favourite. The other siblings think that that's real, and I think it kind of is too.

Tommy: What we're hearing is a confirmation you are the favourite.

Josh: You doubled down.

Tommy: Jess, you're the eldest. What are you— where's your Where's the relationship with your pezzies?

Mat: I'm so close with both my mum and my dad, but I'm not the golden child. I'm the consistent child.

Tommy: What is the golden child? How do they earn that?

Mat: That's Emma.

Tommy: The youngest?

Mat: No, the middle.

Tommy: Okay, interesting. Yeah, that's interesting.

George: It's very rare.

Mat: She has golden hair as well, I think.

Tommy: But what does she do to win that?

Mat: I think she's just always been the, um, how do I say this nicely? I'm thinking, here we go. You can't. She's always been, I don't know how to explain it, like not a suck-up, but like she never rebelled essentially.

Mason: She's a bit of a people pleaser.

George: Straight 180.

Mat: Hannah and I definitely go through our phases.

Tommy: And so you live with which one?

Mat: Emma at the moment.

Tommy: You live with the people pleaser?

Mat: Yeah.

Josh: And Emma gets the bed.

Tommy: I'm joking. So you live with the favourite?

Mat: Yeah, she's always been the favourite. All my friends know she's the favourite.

Tommy: Yeah, it's weird, isn't it?

Josh: What does the favourite earn you? Like, what do you get as the favourite?

Tommy: Um, a couple of favourite— it's just the favourite over here is just chiming in. You didn't even have to—

Josh: definitely not the favourite, by the way. So my brother Jake is the favourite.

George: Oh yeah.

Josh: And Mum would, um, like if Mum was in tears or whatever, he was always the first one to go and cheque his to see if she was okay.

Mat: Yes, that's something Emma would do.

George: Yeah, I don't think I did that. I just never got in fights with my mum or dad, like, I just— the other two.

Mason: Really?

Tommy: So what classic— because I'm trying to work it out because I don't know, it's not— maybe if you're the favourite, you really know, because I'm just thinking, like, I gave my mum hell.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: And she stuck by me.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: My middle brother's very much more I think relaxed, just a bit easygoing. So I didn't really— wasn't too naughty. But does that mean he's the favorite, or has the hell I put my mum through and the bond we've formed based on that mean that I'm the favorite?

George: If you want to tell yourself that, then yeah.

Tommy: You know, it's like you've got to work harder for something, you love it a bit more.

Mat: That's true. I feel like it shifts though, depending on like where you're at in your life. Like right now, I don't think Emma's the golden child anymore.

Josh: Oh, oh, oh, really?

Tommy: No, it doesn't get taken on clothes.

Josh: Because you're on a podcast.

Mat: I'm still not the favourite. I'm just that happy consistency. Hannah is because she hangs out with Mum now more than I do.

George: She's living at home.

Mat: She gets more FaceTime.

George: Yeah. Well, yeah. Chloe calls Mum like 5 times a day.

Mat: Really?

Tommy: Does she?

George: Why? I reckon maybe not that much anymore, but when she used to work not from home. It was like calling to work, calling on lunch break, calling on the way home.

Tommy: It's so cute.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: I mean, I'm— that's— as a parent, I'm loving— I was thinking the other night how much I can't wait. And I said this to Mummy and it was quite offensive. So I just can't wait till Bodie and I can go out for dinner together.

George: Yeah.

Mat: Yeah.

George: That's not good.

Tommy: And what I meant was—

Josh: She can have KFC. She can have a Zinger with George.

Tommy: Yeah. But what I meant was like, Think about when he's like— Yeah. When he's 7 and he's like, Dad, I'd love to go for pizza tonight. I'm like, son, let's go. And we maybe go bowling.

Josh: We're going to Clogs.

Tommy: We're going to Clogs, like a little mission where we could actually have a conversation. How's your dad? Yeah, kudos, doing this, that, and then, you know, now it's just he's an emotional wreck and he'll flip out at a second or he'll be a little sweetheart, but you don't know. And I'd rather not try.

Mason: He's been a little sweetheart recently. He's been coming into the office.

Tommy: He's been real sweet. But imagine 7. Imagine when he just has this. He's just got a bit going on. Like, he could go out— you and Josh, like, Josh, you could take him out for a weekend. You could go bowling with him.

Josh: Yeah, what's something that I could— like, what should my thing be with Bodhi? What could the activity be?

Tommy: I reckon a sleepover and a movie night, like with you and Bree. He would love— like, he'd get the naughty food. You'd probably drive him out to— you'd take him to, um, in the Great Ocean Road.

Josh: You do the old—

Tommy: yeah, that could be. You could Do a great Ocean Road adventure with him, get him fish and chips and, you know.

Josh: Oh yeah, that fish and chips would be good.

Tommy: I mean, what was the thing for you guys as a kid that you remember, like a family friend that would do something, take you somewhere, feed you something?

George: I remember a family friend.

Josh: I never had that. I don't think that Mum and Dad ever wanted to, like, risk me. The only time I remember that, I remember we're in Maroongulla and we met a couple. And they said, hey, we'll look after your kids. You guys have a nice evening out or a nice day out. And so, Mum and Dad left us, which would never happen, really. And I hit James with the golf club whilst being looked after. And the one guy was a cop and the lady was a nurse. And Mum said she'd never been more embarrassed in her life.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: So, that was a rare, rare thing.

Tommy: George, what did you do?

George: The first one that came to mind was a family friend, Peter Buchanan, and his kids. They lived in Gosford and they had a skate ramp, like a full half pipe in there. And about 30 surfboards. Yes. And they were just the coolest, like the son was like 8 or something and a pro surfer and skater, and the dad was 40, and they were just going down the ramp, and I was like, this is, yeah, this is cool.

Tommy: It sounds like the Hemsworths.

Mason: Yeah, it does have that vibe.

Tommy: That's sick. Yeah, but apart from that, Saves, I feel like you wouldn't have wanted to really leave the house.

Mason: Oh no, I mean, there's one was in New Zealand, and it was our friends down the street. I have no idea who they are or anything about them, but they always used to give us the lemon cordial. And so always on the way home, we'd go in, and whenever we go to their house, we'd get lemon cordial, and we'd never be allowed it at home. And then the other one is when I was in primary school, I always used to go around to my mate's house, and we always used to play, um, Icy Towers. Oh yeah, in Internet Explorer.

Tommy: Yeah, I love that.

George: Just, it's great because that's your version of vintage. Yeah, but the other day when you were saying, oh, In year 7, the amount of times I had to go Alt+Tab on my laptop to bloody hide it from the teacher.

Josh: How long do you reckon, guys, being in the testing— now that I'm in the car park, I'm getting pissed off because it's taking a while. I wonder if they would let me out if I was like, hey, I've got to go.

Tommy: Is there toilets? I think there was toilets at some of them, but if you can't sit, like, yeah, you're not meant to. Because the, like, if you think about it, the people who have COVID are the ones that have gone to the testing area.

Josh: It's fucking stuffy in here because I can't open the window because the fucking smoke is still there.

Tommy: She's still smoking. How many ciggies is she smoking?

Josh: She's blowing all of her ash onto our car. Yeah, I reckon we've got like fucking, we're gonna, we're gonna move the car and there's gonna be just fucking ash. She's blowing all of her ash onto our car.

Mason: Yeah, yuck.

Tommy: Absolute grog.

Mat: Stop, please.

Josh: Treat the horns. Yeah, treat the horns. It's not even passive anymore. Break one set of here.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love it. Just yell, yell, talk loudly so they hear you. That's always a good way. Um, anyway, you might be in the line for another couple hours. Can you actually see people, like people getting tested? He's looking around for the first time since he's been on the show. Is it so his back? You're looking, he's looking backwards.

Josh: So yeah, it's literally like a car park. It's not like a line. I was assuming a line.

Tommy: Is there a lot of people?

Josh: No, I'm in a car. Yeah.

Mason: Oh, so they— you're in— it's like the drive-in cinemas, and instead of bringing you food and there's no screen, they bring you a COVID test.

Mat: Yeah, big stick.

Tommy: God. All right.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: Wow. So what are we not going to do?

Josh: I was hoping we'd get to do it live on air.

Tommy: Yeah, I don't think we're going to. I mean, how long do you reckon if you were to put a— if you're a betting man, what would you—

Josh: I reckon it's going to be another— Bree said that they They had a time that said half an hour.

Tommy: Oh, did they?

Josh: It's going to be longer than that. But the thing is, Bree's a little bit freaked out because she got her hair done because the place was open. I don't need to say where it was, but she got her hair done. And so if we're both getting COVID tested, if she was to be sort of asymptomatic like she was and then had COVID, she has to let the hairdresser know.

Tommy: Super spreader. Yeah, I think they would actually— I think they contact for you. So, there's contact tracing. Think about the awkwardness you feel right now about having to do that, Bree. That's why they can't rely on us humans, because I would be embarrassed.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: If I had to go and tell all these people. They're actually calling people for people who are testing positive. That's their job. So, but I heard a guy, what's his name? Brendan Schaub from The Fighter and the Kid was in doing a podcast with a bunch of people, had it. A bunch of them didn't get it. One guy got it. And so it's like, and he was symptomatic.

Josh: So who are we going to blame? Because Jess has already brought that up. She said, whose fault is it if Josh has COVID?

Tommy: But I mean, Bodie's been clear.

George: But no one's fault. That's the whole thing.

Josh: It's not a—

Tommy: you can't play a blame game. No, I guess you can because it's fun.

Mason: Keep it for Monday.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah. Well, Who can we blame? Tully Smythe, probably. She got tested negative.

Josh: George's Hannah, she's around a few people.

George: Yeah, I reckon it's an Uber Eats driver that you've had.

Tommy: Oh yeah, no, good call, good call.

George: That'd be riddles.

Mason: Blame it on Uber.

Tommy: It could be, uh, I could take down the whole Uber Eats.

Josh: Like, if they did contact tracing, I reckon I'd take out 50% of their drivers.

Tommy: I mean, Jess's sister works in in a hospital. So maybe Jesse's a, you know, not the favourite child and also the weakest, a super spreader.

Mat: I'd be the least favourite child after that. Oh yeah, I have PPE, I'm good.

Tommy: Yeah, no, true, you're great. Anyway, it's— you should be fine, mate. I've, uh, most people that I know have got tested, come back negative. So, um, good odds.

Josh: Wouldn't be crazy though. It would be if I'm positive.

Mat: Yeah, it wouldn't be great.

Mason: Something exciting. There's something exciting about it.

Tommy: I mean, you've been very positive this week, this whole week you've been a positive guy, so hopefully it's, um, it means you can stay home for 14 days.

Josh: Yeah, true. Yeah, but what do I do food-wise?

Tommy: Uber Eats. Yeah, that'd be fine.

Josh: Can't do it.

George: Well, you just have to— they drop it off and you have to wait for them to leave and then you get it.

Tommy: Oh man, I've heard people People in the States have it and they're going for walks with masks on, gloves.

Josh: So, one of our friends that we went to school with, it was actually the guy who when I was in a fight at a 21st, I called his name because he's a kickboxer and belted the shit out of the guy who was fighting me. Anyway, he's got COVID.

Tommy: Oh, does he?

Josh: And he was saying, like, he was giving an update, he was saying that he was so surprised at the lack of support. Like, they're basically like, hey, if you, if you have problems breathing or whatever, just call triple zero. Otherwise, just fucking stay at home.

George: Yeah, yeah. Have you still got your taste, sense of taste?

Josh: Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. To be honest, the one thing, the one reason I don't think that I have it is because it, um, I've got swollen glands, and I don't know if that's a symptom. I don't think that's a symptom.

George: Oh yeah. It's, well, it's more of a dry cough, cough, I believe.

Tommy: A sore throat though, sore throat. Yeah, but if you're real phlegmy and stuff, please, if you have any symptoms, please get tested. I couldn't be more clear.

George: Yeah, you're doing the right thing, Jadie.

Tommy: You're doing the right thing, mate. Well done, taking one for the team.

Josh: Do you do your Alan Jones for us?

Tommy: Uh, no, I don't have that one.

George: I don't have that one.

Tommy: But if I was to say anything, it would be Absolutely, you don't mean anything to anyone. I don't know, something that makes sense.

George: That was really good.

Josh: We should do impersonations on the show. I enjoyed the last two shows we've done impersonations.

George: Did you like Reece's impersonation of you on Hump Day Replay?

Josh: I'll be honest, I didn't get to that bit.

Tommy: I haven't listened to it. I want to listen to it.

George: You guys are the worst.

Tommy: Mate, it's the show about the show. We're over here doing the show.

George: Fair enough.

Josh: I don't think Jess has listened to any of, like, Jess is like, She doesn't listen.

George: I mean, I haven't really listened to last week of the Daily Talk Show.

Josh: The only reason, the only reason we have Jess on hump day replays is because I want her to listen to it. I think it's the only way that we'll get her to do it.

Mat: I listen to the ones I want to listen to.

George: Cherry-picks them.

Mat: No, I've made a conscious decision to start listening to them live during the day.

Tommy: Oh, that's nice.

Mason: Okay.

Mat: Yeah.

Josh: Oh, good.

George: There we go.

Mat: All right.

Josh: Any feedback?

Mat: Beg your pardon?

Josh: Any feedback, Jess, on like listening? Like, have you gone back to any old eps? Have you listened to episode 14 yet?

Mat: No.

Mason: Good listen.

Mat: In my defence though, I somewhat blame you for that because I had planned to watch that episode that I was telling you about or that I was watching, and then you called about something, and then I was planning on watching episode 14 after that episode, and then we It was just too late.

Josh: It's audio only, so anyway.

George: Yeah.

Josh: Yeah.

George: Well, you gave her the spiel in the office anyway.

Mat: Yeah, I know all about it.

Tommy: Gave her the Cliff Notes.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: It's anyway.

George: All right.

Tommy: All good.

Mason: Cry.

Tommy: Stay well, people.

Josh: Now I need to work out what to do with this window. I think what I'm going to do is open up Bree's side. And so then—

Tommy: I reckon if you opened up and started coughing, she would put her window up.

Mason: Absolutely.

Tommy: And stop fucking smoking.

Mason: Yeah, sure.

Josh: Here we go.

Mason: Hang on.

Tommy: Oh yeah, hang on. Oh yes, we're getting— this is—

Mat: is it happening?

Tommy: Oh sure, hang on.

George: Let's miss it.

Josh: It's happening.

Mason: Here we go.

Tommy: Oh yes. All right, so this right now— oh, he's putting his seatbelt on.

Mason: Here we go.

Tommy: How's your anus?

George: Is it tight?

Tommy: Clenched? Um, so what we're doing right now is podcasting and watching JJ I'm going to give commentary as we're doing it.

Mason: Good.

Tommy: So Josh has strapped his seatbelt. I wonder if that's a prerequisite— put your seatbelt on.

George: I couldn't be more clear.

Tommy: So now he's got his hazard lights on. I wonder if that is— oh, he's turned his car on. I wonder if this is the— like, they know that testing's in progress if the car cars on with hazard lights.

Mason: Oh my God, that other car's leaving.

Tommy: Oh my God, there she is. Absolute grub. Where are you going?

Mat: He—

Tommy: Josh can't hear us. Where is he? He's driving, he's reversing out, pulling out of the car park. It's good for, um, good having a reverse camera. Does your car have a reverse camera, Jess?

Mat: No.

Mason: Oh, they must be batching them so the smoke is gone.

Tommy: Yeah, go on.

Mason: And Josh is following.

Josh: Fresh air, it feels good. So I'm going to turn you up.

Tommy: Hang on.

Josh: Okay, great.

Tommy: So this is, this is exciting.

Josh: So hazard lights are on.

Tommy: Yeah, um, yeah, great. I was thinking it's made sense why he put his seatbelt on. Oh yeah, he's driving.

George: Yeah, imagine some cops around finding people.

Tommy: Dogs.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: Oh, here we go. Hang on. I wonder how long you're gonna have to wait in this bit for.

Josh: It's gonna fucking take ages. Let's go.

George: Yeah, really?

Tommy: But can you film it? Can you press record while it—

Josh: I'll just show you.

Tommy: All right, great. There's a few people. Oh yeah, it looks like Krispy Kreme circa 2005 when they came to Australia. Now what was it, circa 2008? Yeah, yeah, payback. You were shoving shit in your mouth, now they're putting stuff up your nose. Anyway, it's The Daily Talk Show and we love you. Good luck, Josh. Good luck, Bri.

Josh: Oh no, they had a baby in the back. Oh my God, the cigarette people.

Tommy: Oh, that's fucking illegal.

George: Get the number plate.

Tommy: That is illegal.

Mat: All right guys, see ya.

Tommy: It's The Daily Talk Show. We'll see you next week. See you tomorrow.

George: Love you.