Picked Up By A Stranger

Tommy: The Daily Talk Show.

Josh: It's The Daily Talk Show, episode 387.

Tommy: What's happening, guys? What's going on? How are we?

Josh: Yeah, it's, uh, I'm very well, thank you. It's, uh, Monday at 5:18 PM.

Tommy: Yeah, we better bloody get this show on the road. Russ Keys has already, uh, messaged us.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: Uh, I highlighted on an Instagram story, uh, the blowout in the middle of your jeans.

Josh: You highlighted? What do you mean you highlighted?

Tommy: Highlighted it. I brought it to people's attention.

Josh: I thought, oh, you can't say highlight on Instagram storeys because that's a function and we don't have Instagram highlights.

Tommy: Too technical, too fucking technical.

Josh: Can you see where it went wrong though?

Tommy: I do. I also want to say, if we're going by how you see the start of the week, which we discussed over the weekend, this is our first 7th day of doing shows. So, oh no, that was yesterday, sorry. So we're into our 2nd week of doing shows. I've lost my fucking mind.

Josh: That's it. But you've been filming today. I've been, uh, I've been editing.

Tommy: Yeah, we've been, um, shooting with the Barefoot Investor all day, Mr. 97 and I. Yeah, and, um, we're out in the street doing a bunch of vox pops. And I tell you what, if you want to just feel depression, go out and interview just punters, just any, like, and have a camera there and and talk to people about money. It's depressing, dude.

Josh: What were the themes? What were people saying?

Tommy: Well, it's just about like, think about it. What is there? There's superannuation, which is very important for retirement.

Josh: Yes.

Tommy: Money, having any, important. Having bank accounts, important. Like where your money goes. Having a job, important. And so, you just get all parts of the spectrum in terms of no money.

Josh: Anyone surprise you of like, they look like they're real, like they've got all fancy shit, but they're like, I've got no money?

Tommy: No, nothing like that. I think, um, young kids, some of them were savvy. There was more savvy than I thought, but there was just some, some, I mean, that just hard done by, like these, these dudes that just looked a bit worse for wear, had families and shit. What they look hard, but there's a softness in them and there's a kindness to them, but it just makes you even more sad.

Josh: So yeah, we're all a bit human.

Tommy: Yeah, exactly. Humans, we're all fucking flawed. Anyway, I came off the back of a nice honeymoon— no, anniversary weekend, third year wedding anniversary. We went down to Flinders, which is beautiful, an hour away. Got Bodhi, had a sleepover at my mum and dad's place, and we went away for hashtag Flinders First, I think it's one of the funniest things you've ever said. Anytime anyone ever says to you, oh, I'm going away for my honeymoon, just replace— and sorry, anniversary— and actually honeymoon, yeah, honeymoon, anniversary, weekend away, just replace that word with hashtag. I'm going away.

Josh: What helps when there's alliteration as well, like Flinders. But the point is that, um, especially if you've got a kid or whatever, if you're married. There'd be people who are like, why do you go away? You don't need to go away. Like, why do you need to go away?

Tommy: Oh, it was lovely.

Josh: Why did you need to go away? Why do you feel— What's the difference between being at home versus—

Tommy: We were going to go out for dinner to a nice restaurant called Donovan's, which is near our house. Admittedly, Amy buys a pie when we go there and it's about $50. But it is one of the best pies.

Josh: Like a beef pie?

Tommy: No, it's a chicken pie. It's the best chicken pie you've ever had in your life. It comes in a, um, in a, in a, like a, a bowl, and then they have the lid, and then they put the lid there, and then they start fucking scooping the insides of the pie into this, like, it's made of pastry.

Josh: It actually sounds like, I think they've got something like that in Macedonia. Oh, like a bread, like a, yeah, it's worth every cent. The pie thing reminds me of Michelle Andrews over the weekend. Yeah, she's talking about finger food. Some of the most outrageous things I've ever heard. For one, pasties. I don't know if you heard this, she was absolutely slamming pasties as an inferior finger food.

Tommy: Yeah, definitely.

Josh: She called it bogan, but then proceeded to say that party pies aren't bogan. Aren't bogan. Nah, they're both completely bogan.

Tommy: They're absolutely bogan.

Josh: You know what's pretty bogan that I also did on the weekend?

Tommy: Do you want me to finish my story?

Josh: Oh yeah, the fuckfest. Well, you asked me what going away. Oh yeah, sure. Sorry, I just got derailed about it. Sorry, you were— Amy gets the pies.

Tommy: I mean, it's a $50 pie. So we were thinking—

Josh: I literally was like, was it really $50?

Tommy: It's $50. $48.50 or whatever, you know. Um, anyway, the—

Josh: so you—

Tommy: we, we would spend $250 going for dinner at a place like that.

Josh: Is that like getting alcohol, obviously, but like seafood and shit as well?

Tommy: Like an entree, like if you just get an entree, a main, dessert, you're gonna spend—

Josh: Are they Italian? Donovan's?

Tommy: No, it's like, uh, it's like Australian cuisine. So they have seafood and steaks and they've got chicken dishes and beef. Anyway, anyway, we were like, let's not do that, let's get away, let's see if we can get mum and dad to babysit Bodhi and we can go down and have a night where we sleep in. It's just a bit different, it feels different from doing it in your own house.

Josh: Well, you nearly did the city, you're looking at Sofitel and stuff.

Tommy: It's so expensive. And so I was like, I'd rather get out of Melbourne to be able to enjoy myself. Enjoy myself. Anyway, it was magical. The sunset on Saturday night, it's awesome. I used to go to this place as a kid, this place called Flinders. We used to go there for family holidays and there's a motel where we used to stay. We stayed in the hotel across the road, which wasn't in existence when, you know, this specific accommodation wasn't in existence. But I was showing Amy the motel and so many memories were flooding back into my head from just being there. I took her on a night drive. That we used to do as kids, looking at all the rabbits. There was only— there was a few rabbits.

Josh: Where did we see rabbits the other day?

Tommy: We were on the way to Ballarat. That's right.

Josh: It's a lot of rabbits.

Tommy: Yeah, a lot of rabbits. Anyway, but then on the Sunday, the motel across the road was, you know, everyone was leaving because it was Sunday.

Josh: What time did you wake up on Sunday?

Tommy: We got up at 9. It was lovely.

Josh: 9? Did you hear from your mum at all while you were away? No. That's good.

Tommy: It's a good thing. You don't want to hear from your mum when she's got your kid.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: And you've told her, especially mid-fuckfest, you don't want to hear from your mum. Anyway, I walked over with Amy to this motel and we're checking out. I was like, I've stayed in that room, I've stayed in that room, I've stayed in that room. Then we walk down to where the spa and the pool is.

Josh: Communal spa.

Tommy: It's old school. It's like, think about it, it's like an old— yeah, it's indoors and it was cool when I was 8, and that was a long time ago to have an indoor pool was pretty cool back then. And it also had a sauna, and I just had this flashback of the time that I went with my friend Damon, and we went down to, um, Flinders. Mum and Dad took us down there, maybe at like 11, 12 years old. And I said, this memory of wanking in the sauna.

Josh: Really? Not, not wanking Damon, wanking You're wanking in the sauna. Oh wait, you were all in the sauna wanking.

Tommy: Well, I can't remember. I can't remember if it was. I just remember wanking in the sauna. I was like, this is such fucking what little boys do.

George: Yeah.

Josh: Did you tell Amy?

Tommy: I told Amy and she said to me, since having the podcast, you've become so much more honest about things.

Josh: Well, I mean, because we all have these like memories of things that have happened. Yeah.

Tommy: And I think having a child I see that it's just what happens.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: You just get curious.

Josh: And when you're in the sauna and you're 11 or 12 and just having a crack.

Tommy: Having a good crack.

Josh: I saw Toy Story.

Tommy: You saw that?

Josh: On Saturday night. Sheesh. The 8:15 PM viewing.

Tommy: Like what goes through your mind? Out of every film you could possibly see, that's the fucking film you go and see.

Josh: Bri said, do you want to see Yesterday or Toy Story? I said, what time is Yesterday on? She said, it's on at 9:30. I said, too late.

Tommy: Yeah, that is pretty late.

Josh: And so we ended up watching Toy Story and I mean, great film.

Tommy: We grew up on that shit.

Josh: So it's up to like, what was it, 4? Toy Story 4? Yeah, Toy Story 4.

Tommy: Mate, you're the one who saw the film.

Josh: I can't fucking remember. It's a very numbers, just sort of, I think I'm not very good at sort of numbers in general. How old are you? 20. See, that's a trick question too. That's the numbers. 28.

Tommy: No, you're 29, aren't you?

Josh: 29 in September.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: Now you've got 2 years on me. Do I? Yeah.

Tommy: What year were you born? '90.

Josh: 1990. September 14th, 1990.

Tommy: Yeah, I'm '88.

Josh: And yeah, but the— it was a rare occasion because we used a voucher that we had for the movies.

Tommy: Oh, I bought my brother a voucher for the movies. I should call him because I don't think he ever used it. Gold Class, I'm pretty sure. Fuck dog.

Josh: Ungrateful. Well, I am. So I'm used to getting the gold. I feel like Gold Class is the very sort of typical voucher you'd get for the movies. It's a nice voucher. I'd love that. This voucher was even more interesting. This was not only a movie, but it was like a combo. So, we got popcorn.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Big drinks, choc tops.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: It was just something so weird about the whole thing.

Tommy: Like, I mean, how big was the popcorn?

Josh: It was like we didn't even— I'm not much of a popcorn guy. And so, like, we didn't eat all of it, but like, you had to, like, me just walking in, with the popcorn and the choc top and the drinks. Like, my hands were full.

Tommy: Yeah. I mean, to be honest, popcorn is actually an amazing invention if you think about it. In a film, it's 2 hours long. You can't just be grazing on cheese for 2 hours or grazing on chips for 2 hours.

Josh: Bit heavy.

Tommy: Bit heavy. Grazing on chocolate for 2 hours. I think people do it in little stints, but popcorn. I'm not even a fan of it. You can just keep eating it across 2 hours. That's the reality of popcorn.

Josh: Yeah, well, we didn't even get near. The problem I had is, uh, for one, where do you keep the popcorn if you're sharing it? Next to you, as in just right next to you?

Tommy: Oh no, I guess someone has to take ownership. Someone has to take ownership and hold it for a while, and then so one person's reaching over.

Josh: But then, right, but the big thing that I started to wonder is which side is your drink meant to go on?

Tommy: Left. I don't know. I would think that. Actually, it depends.

Josh: I mean, because then I counted, I actually stood, we're in the middle of the aisle. I then stood up. Maybe you were right. Looking and saying, what does the very end one have?

Tommy: Yeah. So, the end one would have.

Josh: But the end one didn't have one at the end.

Tommy: Okay. So, then it's a right.

Josh: But the other end didn't have one either.

Tommy: Someone's missing out, surely. Which, I mean, some gronkers type this into the Googles. What side does your drink go on at the cinemas? I think.

Josh: But then there's the whole section where there's sometimes single seats next to the disability sort of section. One of the sides had one side and then another had the other. So there's complete inconsistencies because I was trying to work out the actual answer, but where I landed was I worked out I can just go in the middle between Bree and I, and then there's no social issues at all.

Tommy: So there was someone next to you?

Josh: I was worried about that happening. There did end up being someone there, yes.

Tommy: Okay, okay. So that was your worries?

Josh: I was like, what am I—

Tommy: your worries came to fruition.

Josh: Exactly.

Tommy: How'd you deal with it, baby?

Josh: I don't think he had a drink, so it was fine.

Tommy: So you put, you put your drink— did Bree have one too?

Josh: Yeah, she just put it on her right, I put it on my right.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: No, that's fine. Any word on that, Mr. 97?

Mason: I mean, not really. They say that like 80% of people are right-handed and you pick up drinks with your left hand, so you put it on the left side.

Josh: Who picks up drinks with their left hand?

Mason: Everyone. I usually pick it up with—

Tommy: Nah, I'd go right. I'd go— I mean, drinking left right now, but—

Mason: Oh, it's apparently because you have food in your right hand and then you use your left.

Josh: Oh, I can get food. I can get behind that. But while I was doing that meanwhile 3D Dill decided to go on a, what is it called, like a hike.

George: A hike. I went on a hike.

Tommy: But yeah, he's regretting it today. Well, he's currently got his shoes off. He's got his socks pulled pretty much halfway down and he's got— is that bandage?

George: Yeah.

Tommy: On your foot?

George: Yeah.

Josh: Well, he's actually— when I saw him this morning, any bravado that had come from the book in the past week and a half had gone and completely diminished. He was a broken little boy. I was tired. He had curly, super cute curly hair. Did you condition last night or something, or what was that?

George: I did, I did actually. Yeah, maybe that's it.

Josh: And so he had like this really cute fro and he was sort of holding his cup like his mug. You have to look at the dailytalkshow.com, watch the video. He's sort of holding it like this, like he'd just been in some involved in some form of natural disaster. And he proceeded to tell me everything that happened.

Tommy: Yeah. What happened?

Josh: You get to tell us. On the weekend.

George: So, I booked a camping pod out in Otway National Park.

Josh: Which—

Tommy: The Otways, which are—

George: The Otways.

Tommy: The Otways past Apollo Bay.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Or in Apollo Bay.

Josh: Which I should have actually flagged earlier with him because we're planning on doing Great Ocean Road anyway.

Tommy: Yeah. Well, he's done his own version.

Josh: Yeah. And the thing was when he said about the pods, what was the first thing that I said to you?

George: I don't even remember. What was the first thing you said?

Josh: I was like, about the sleeping arrangements.

George: I was like, oh yeah, you're like, is there, is there pillows?

Josh: Or have you got like a sleeping bag?

George: Yeah, do you have a sleeping bag? And I said no, I don't have a sleeping bag.

Josh: He said, I'm Canadian. His excuse for everything, for being a fuckwit, is that he's Canadian. I don't know if people in Canada would stand by this, but he said, no, I don't need anything, I'm Canadian.

George: And which was fair, I didn't need anything, I was fine.

Tommy: Well, I've never heard what a pod— like, a pod, so it's not common No, it was maybe for campers.

Josh: I think of Japan.

George: Yeah, I think it's just like a really cheap way for them to get people to stay and like lodging there. It's basically— it's like on a small little trailer hitch.

Josh: It's a hardened tent, basically.

George: It's, it's got a corrugated sheet metal roof and then it's all wood on the inside, and there's two thin mattresses, like 2-inch thick mattresses.

Tommy: Okay, so you left Melbourne, you're heading to Apollo Bay.

Josh: Yeah.

George: And then the plan is from Apollo Bay to hike through the Otways, which is about 5-6 hours, to get to the place where I was staying called Bimby Park.

Josh: Where did you actually get the, um, directions from?

George: Google. Okay.

Tommy: And how did you book this accommodation?

George: Just through Airbnb.

Mason: All right.

George: It was, it was pretty— it was like $60, I think.

Josh: Did the Airbnb, um, page have any details about how to get there?

George: Yeah, like they had directions, but most of it was to Apollo Bay and then had hiking trails, or it said if you're in Apollo Bay, take Great Ocean Road up and then take a left on Bimby Park Lane, something like that.

Tommy: So, you can drive into this place?

George: Yeah, you can drive in.

Tommy: Okay, but you're carless, so—

George: Yeah, I'm carless.

Josh: Well, he's— if you know Victoria, he's got a bus to Marysville before. Yeah.

Tommy: He's used the public transport system like no one else I've ever known.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: It's great.

George: So, I ended up taking a— I took the train from the city to Geelong and then a coach bus from Geelong down to Apollo Bay.

Josh: What do we count as a coach bus, by the way? I hear that a lot.

Tommy: Just a bus.

Josh: With aircon?

Tommy: It's not a public transport bus. It's a coach.

Mason: It's a V/Line.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: It was a V/Line. Yeah. Extends out from the train. But a coach is just a big, a big look, you know, the big buses. That's not a public transport.

Josh: I'm just curious as to what would be the definition of a coach.

Tommy: Well, we've got Mr. 9/7 here.

George: Google it.

Tommy: Thank you. So you're in Apollo Bay, you've got your coach down there.

George: Yeah. So I make it to Apollo Bay and I'm feeling good. It was like 2:30 by then or 2 o'clock by the time I got down there.

Josh: But if it was going to take 5 hours, when does the sun set at the moment?

Tommy: 5:30.

George: 5:30.

Josh: Yeah. And so 2 PM, you had 5 hours. Yeah, 7 PM. You're going to be hiking when it's dark?

George: Yes, but my plan was by the time that it would—

Josh: Did you have a torch?

George: I had the torch on my phone, which can die. Oh yeah, yeah. So the— but the plan was to be close enough to the park that I wasn't in the forest by the time that it would be dark outside, based off how far I had already hiked.

Josh: How big is the fucking park? You were expecting that the walk from the beginning of the park to your tent is an hour?

George: No, I had mapped it out. I knew what I was doing.

Josh: Did you? Because we know, we know what ends up happening. And so the bravado, I don't understand.

George: I hadn't expected to get lost in the forest. That's what I didn't count on.

Tommy: I don't think people who get lost expect to get lost. They just get lost.

Josh: But you've done the equivalent of what I've done with my book. Like, you've, you've said the numbers out loud and then you say that and then you're like, oh, well, that doesn't make sense.

Tommy: So, this is true. So, you knew the track and you'd looked at it obviously on a phone.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: And you took that track, but it—

George: I had a map from Apollo Bay too. I went to the visitor centre and got a map of the ranges and I was supposed to take Elliott Track about halfway through and then take a left and continue along that path, take a right, continue.

Tommy: I mean, you're saying it like they were labelled, turn right at Ramsey, turn left at Flinders.

George: That's the thing though, it literally said that all the paths were marked and so I figured this should be relatively straightforward. It's not going to be easy, but it should be relatively straightforward.

Josh: So, when did you know that you were in trouble?

George: About 2 hours in and it was, it was just past 4 o'clock and I'm thinking I'm nowhere near where I'm supposed to be at this time.

Josh: Do you see any people on the path?

George: I saw 2 people.

Tommy: What, did you speak to them?

George: I said hi and they said hi and then they walked.

Josh: Aussies?

George: Yeah, they were Aussies.

Josh: Okay.

George: And then they walked past. All right.

Tommy: And they were going backwards?

George: They were going, yeah, we were going in opposite directions.

Josh: What food did you have and water for the hike?

George: I had a singular bottle of water, 2 apples, a banana, 4 rice cakes, and a little stint of peanut butter and some macadamia nuts and cashews.

Tommy: That'll keep you— fuck, you're the, you're the person that stole those macadamia and cashews from this office. I've been looking for them. Yeah, well, at least you had them because you fucking got lost. So yeah, you're off, you're off that one. But I wasn't eating them. I was hungry.

Josh: When were you looking for them? Just before.

Tommy: You still got any?

George: No, I ate them all.

Josh: I bet he ate them all.

Tommy: Well, he's lost.

Josh: Oh, I'm lost. Yeah, there's a bit of that vibe.

Tommy: And so, so you're 2 hours in, that means you have to backtrack 2 hours.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: So there's, so there's 4 hours in total.

George: I sprinted out of there like, because I didn't want to be stuck in there when it got dark because that's like, that's the last place I want to be.

Josh: I'd love to say that. I know, it's just like, it doesn't happen to me, I'm Canadian. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

George: So I got back on to where I had started from originally.

Josh: Fuck, that's so annoying.

Tommy: 2 hours. Yeah.

Josh: That's huge.

George: I did the 2-hour hike back in an hour and a half. So I got back at about 5:30, right as it was getting dark.

Tommy: So you get to the road.

George: Yep. Get out to Elliot Track and Great Ocean Road.

Josh: My favourite bit is that he's next, the next thing that he thought was the best way to get there when he's in the middle of nowhere is call an Uber.

George: I was like, I'm gonna try.

Josh: He tried to get an Uber.

George: I'm gonna try.

Tommy: You tried to call an Uber.

George: I tried.

Mason: I failed.

George: But I tried. Okay, point being, I tried. So as I'm sitting—

Tommy: any reception, by the way?

George: Any phone reception on the Great Ocean Road? Yes.

Josh: Yeah, in the middle of the forest?

George: No. So I'm standing there, I probably looked so fucking lost and confused.

Josh: Were you actually in the town? Like, if I'm imagining Apollo Bay, they've got like some—

George: no, this is, this is already an hour outside of Apollo Bay.

Tommy: And how did you get to that spot?

George: I had to walk. Fuck!

Tommy: He's walked an hour and then walked another 2 hours and then had to walk another 2 hours back. And now he's stuck. That's 5 hours later.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: And he's got no closer than to Elliott Road track.

Josh: And so you were just, you were just standing on the side of the road.

George: I'm thinking rationally, trying to figure out the safest thing to do. Like if it didn't work out, it would have been safer to walk back to Apollo Bay and just get accommodation there rather than keep going up the road and try and find something. So I'm standing there waiting, and this guy was coming out of where I had just come from, and he rolls his window down, and one of the thickest Australian accents I've heard up to date goes, "You alright, mate?" I said, "Not really, I'm trying to get to a campsite." And he goes, "Where you going?" And I said, "Bimby Park." And he goes, 'Oh, I know where that is. Come along, ride with me.' And I said—

Josh: was he drunk?

George: No, but like some of the worst smoker's voice I've ever heard.

Josh: Oh really?

George: So I— because, uh, he was like, 'Yeah, just hop in. Like, I'm literally going to the next place.' So the rational side of me is thinking this is unsafe, but also the exhausted side of me is saying I'm a lot worse dying in this guy's car than I am on the side of the road.

Tommy: He hasn't seen Wolf Creek, has he? No, definitely not. Do you know what Wolf Creek is?

Josh: No.

Tommy: You wouldn't have gotten in that car if you'd watched Wolf Creek.

Josh: Nope. But so the guy— you were saying that the guy was, um, quite the, the smoker?

George: Yeah, he, he had a, he had a carton of cigarettes on the, on the top of his dash. 100.

Tommy: Did he offer you one?

George: No, but he puffed.

Tommy: What a dog.

George: He puffed through about 3 or 4 in the half an hour drive that we went on.

Tommy: I mean, I know you don't smoke But what a dog for not offering.

Josh: Yeah, sure.

Tommy: In Australia, but like, fucking—

George: his whole dashboard was like an ashtray.

Tommy: It was horrifying. I've been in cars like that.

George: And, uh, so not ideal. But to his credit, he never even told me his name, so I can't—

Tommy: we didn't ask.

George: No, I said, hi, my name is Dylan, and I expected, oh, my name is so-and-so, and he's like, just smoked a cigarette.

Josh: My name's Ivan. But to be fair, He's dead now. I think so.

Tommy: I think he died in prison. What a dog. Ivan, you're a dog.

Josh: Ivan Milat, one of the serial killers who got a bunch of backpackers.

George: Love that.

Tommy: Similar story. Started like this, got a bit lost, needed a lift.

George: Yeah, but we—

Josh: As you're being stabbed, but I'm Canadian.

George: He asked me where I'm from and I said Canadian. Said, oh, I was going to call you a yank, but I always call— say that people are Canadian first because a yank is less offensive. Um, but to be fair to him, he actually drove me to the campsite and dropped me off and said, you'll be all right from here. And I said, I sure, sure as hell hope so.

Tommy: I mean, nice guy. What an absolute legend.

George: Like, he didn't have to do that. He could have just kept driving and done his own thing. So in, in a perverse way, it worked out and I got to the campsite and it was pitch black.

Tommy: Anyone else at the campsite?

George: Yeah, there are 2 or 3 other families there.

Josh: Okay. Did you have like— how do you even get into your pod? Do pods have locks?

George: Yeah, like I had to go to the front desk to say that I'm here to cheque in basically.

Tommy: Oh, shit.

Josh: Yeah, it's the front desk.

George: Yeah, they have an office. It's a legitimate camping park.

Tommy: Yeah. It was a pod at the Hilton on the park. So, once I had a camper van with Amy when we first met, we did like Sydney up to Byron Bay and then across to the Hunter Valley. And then Amy was a part of a wedding party. She was one of the bridesmaids and I didn't have a combination. That night because Amy was staying with all the gals. We had a room the next night, but I had to find my own accommodation. I had the camper van, which I booked into a local Big 4, which is a caravan park. Mate, I had the time of my life. It was so good.

Josh: Helping campfires and stuff?

George: No.

Tommy: So I parked in and I was like, I'm by myself. I'm in this camper van. It's freezing. I didn't have a heater for inside. I was a bit sick too. I was getting a bit of a sickness.

Josh: And you pull out a full spit out of the back of the camper van.

Tommy: No, I met this family these two couples that had all their kids there, and I ended up having pizzas with them, homemade pizzas. We were talking, drinking Jimmies. It was amazing. This lovely, lovely family said, have you got a heater? I said, no, we didn't think about a heater because when Amy and I were together in the, you know, it was nice and warm enough. Yeah, it was warm enough. And we, anyway, the family was like, I'll give you our heater. We've got two. So I got like this little blower. So I had it on all night. So thankful because I was coming down with a cold. And so it helped to sort of warm up the room so I didn't get more sick than I was.

Josh: Is it room as in your—

Tommy: Oh, it's like, you know, it's like a— there's a double bed in this camper van with a full microwave and then the van stove. Yeah, it is a van. It's a big van camper van. Anyway, I woke up in the morning and I was like, I'll give this back.

Josh: To the— was it one of those old school camper vans or like a new—

Tommy: I was a new version. It was like, so if you got like a normal van, it wasn't like the '60s, not a wicked— nah, not like a VW, the old, but like, so it was like up from that. It was, it was really nice. You could fully stand up in it. Sick.

Josh: That's cool.

Tommy: So much fun. You'd love it, Dyl. So I took this, I took this—

Josh: rub it in.

Tommy: Let's get— let's get lost. Let's get lost. Anyway, I took this fan, this, um, heater back over to the family, said thanks so much. And they said, yeah, were you warm last night? I said, yeah, it was awesome. They said, yeah, ours broke.

Josh: Oh no.

Tommy: And so the four— they had two kids— the four of them are in this fucking double bed because they was freezing. So imagine what they would have been thinking. This guy just here by himself, just fucking confident, so annoying, gets our heater. And ours breaks. And so they're shivering cold in this fucking campervan.

Josh: But the pod thing, just quickly on the sleeping stuff. Yeah. So did you actually have any— Is it called linen? Bree always says the linen closet. Linen is the thingies, the blankets and stuff. Linen.

Tommy: Most people aren't using linen. Linen's a type of fabric. But the linen—

George: They're referring to bedsheets.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

George: But no, no, there was nothing. It was literally just the mattress. And that it said that in the Airbnb, it said like no power, no linen.

Josh: So you had a felt pad?

Tommy: If you're Australian, and you went on school camp, remember when you rocked up and they had fucking, uh, plastic-coated mattresses that were like green? That's what he was staying on. I've seen the photo, we'll put it up on our Instagram. Far out.

Josh: And so, but you didn't have anything?

George: No, I didn't, didn't bring a pillow, didn't bring sheets or anything because it's like, where the hell am I gonna put that?

Tommy: In your bag, man.

George: Yeah, but I, I need room in my bag for clothes.

Tommy: Yeah, my fucking bag is—

Josh: yeah, exactly.

George: And food, something in priority list. I can just drag warm.

Josh: So did you learn? Like, have you learned your lesson or no?

Tommy: Uh, what would you do differently next time?

George: Wear better shoes, actually, because my, my heels are fucked right now.

Tommy: They're so bad.

George: They're really bad.

Tommy: He was wearing Blundstone boots.

Mason: Yeah.

Tommy: And they're not like— unless you got big woolly socks with heel— I mean, not even, not even. They're not, not really trekking boots.

George: No.

Tommy: You're an animal. How many hours did you do? On, on foot on Saturday in total?

George: On Saturday or throughout the weekend?

Tommy: Okay, go throughout the weekend because throughout the weekend, um, just looking at his phone, it's called the Health app, step counter.

George: Throughout the weekend I did a total of 75,000 steps for a total of 55.3 kilometers.

Tommy: That's a solid effort.

Josh: 75,000 steps in 2 days, that's what I was doing when I was doing my million step challenge. Seriously, how many years ago was that? A year and a half ago. The, um, interestingly, you mentioned the health, the, um, steps. I've started tracking a new, um, we call it vital, a metric. A metric? Yeah.

Tommy: What do you—

Josh: a new health metric?

Mason: What is it?

Josh: Oops, I'm also tracking the time. Uh, we've been speaking for 29 minutes, and just so you know, um, this one What is it?

Tommy: Beats per minute?

Josh: Calories?

Tommy: No. Milliliters of water? ML?

Josh: ML? Yeah.

Tommy: You've only had a litre and a half?

Josh: That's a lot.

Tommy: It's fuck all. What are you talking about?

Josh: You piss a liter, litre and a half when you drink a litre and a half.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Are you kidding? You don't think a litre and a half is much water?

Tommy: No, not much at all.

Josh: How much have I been fucking drinking and pissing today?

George: It's one bottle based off what your watch says. I'd say a litre and a half.

Josh: No, but did it feel like a lot?

George: I wasn't drinking it.

Josh: No, but I've— every time I drunk, I was like, man, this seems like a lot of water.

George: Yeah, I mean, I think you were milking it a bit. Like, you'd go to fill up your water bottle, you come up, look, another, another bottle of water.

Josh: It's true, because have a look, 73% of my total—

Tommy: no, I guess it's drinking water.

Josh: I'll, I'll support you.

Tommy: I don't know, but I'll support you. I just doesn't— don't think that 1.5 litres sounds like that much.

Mason: 3.7 is—

Josh: yeah. 3.7 a day?

Tommy: It's 5:30.

Josh: You're gonna fucking— Are you kidding me? But this is set up as, um, set up by who? Like, they put in my weight and like I put in my weight and stuff and it said this is how much water you need.

Tommy: You always go 10 less than what you—

Josh: No, I go more. Do you? Yeah, we're just like allowing for maybe just a blowout.

Tommy: We'll just, we'll get this guy.

Josh: What did you, Mr. 97, what did you do on the weekend?

Mason: Uh, I went and, uh, house sat at one of my mates' house, which is super luxurious. They've got a, they've got a beautiful house.

Tommy: So, mate, are we getting a fucking invite?

Mason: No. So I was, um, I was, I was there with my best mate, um, Andre, and we were just doing a bunch of, um, cleaning and meal prep to get ready because we're staying there for a month while he's in Europe.

Josh: You're staying there for an entire month?

Mason: Yeah.

Josh: When did this happen?

Mason: Uh, it's been, it's been in the works for a while. Yeah.

Tommy: You've got to look after a dog though, don't you?

Mason: Yeah, but that's easy.

Tommy: And the dog being Andre, right?

Josh: Well, the funny thing is Andre did a screen grab. Did you see this?

Tommy: Yeah, you gotta read it out.

Josh: So yeah, I've gotta, I've gotta find it. But what, what did you do for meal prep?

Mason: Uh, yes, we went to the supermarket yesterday and we just bought a bunch of, uh, veggies and lentils and stuff for smoothies. But yesterday we just made, made a soup for the week.

Tommy: Cute. Yeah, very cute. Um, what's it like living, uh, so you, you live at home? Yeah. When do you reckon you'll ever move out?

Mason: Yeah, eventually, maybe like 20, mid-20s.

Tommy: So for what, 5 years?

Mason: Yeah, something like that.

Tommy: Yeah, interesting.

Josh: So Andre, he, uh, screen grabbed a text from Mr. 97. Mason Lauder is your name. And he, uh, it says from Mason, a smoothie is in the fridge ready to be blitzed. Your lunch is also in a plastic container.

Tommy: Yeah, what a catch.

Josh: Why do— why does it make me smile so much?

Tommy: Just because he's very thoughtful. Yeah, he's a thoughtful, kind-hearted guy.

Mason: Well, I was making my smoothie, so I thought at the same time I'd make his, and then I didn't want him to forget lunch that we made yesterday. Because that'd be a waste. Yeah. So I sent him a text.

Josh: I feel like, uh, Mr. 97 would be the perfect extra roommate. Yeah, yeah, at my place.

Tommy: No one wants to live with you, mate. Not even Bree.

Josh: No, but just think, just think about if we had like the spare room.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: I said that— actually, that— I wonder how many people do that. Look, you can stay, very cheap rent.

Tommy: Meal prep.

Josh: So I thought, yeah, we'll just say you paid $50 a week and then in return just do my washing and do meal prep.

Tommy: Well, we had Amy's sister stay with us for free. We didn't want any money and she helped with Bodie.

Josh: Oh, that's handy.

Tommy: She put in a couple of days a week while we were working. It was awesome. I mean, while the grong squad are fucking stealing macadamias, we've got coconut crew over here just meal prepping for each other.

Mason: Well, Josh, I reckon you could get into this meal prep. I've got like Airtable going, like a spreadsheet.

Tommy: Is that in our account?

Mason: No, I created my own one, but I can send you the spreadsheet if you want. No, you literally enter all your recipes, what ingredients you need, and then it gives you a list of all the ingredients you need to buy. So it calculates it all for you.

Josh: Well, because Brian and I were going to meal prep on Sunday and didn't end up getting around to it.

Tommy: Why not?

Josh: Uh, because we left it too late to go to Coles and we didn't—

Tommy: What time's too late?

Josh: 3.

Tommy: I was at Coles last night. I was at Woolies last night at 8 PM. Meal prepping.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, that's fair. That's a good effort.

Tommy: So we need to actually—

Josh: ridiculous. We need to work out what to, um, what to cook. But because this is where I feel, you feel it at the moment, is I'll do a— do lamb, I'll do chicken or whatever it is, but I'm not very good at doing the veggies. So we just need a full meal because what we end up having is bulk meats.

Tommy: Yeah, it's not good.

Josh: Not—

Tommy: no, no, no, you need to do something that has beans, has—

Josh: oh, I was— I wanted to contact you, um, but because you were had the Flinders fuckfest, I didn't reach out.

Tommy: It's funny when you think about it like that.

Josh: Nothing, nothing with my wife would ruin the vibe like midway through me texting saying, what's your fritters recipe?

Tommy: Oh yeah, we've got all the ingredients and I'll get it to you. It's just carrot, zucchini, corn, a bit of flour, cheese. It's really good. Anyway, because I gave you one, you liked that, didn't you?

Josh: It was delicious. Anyway, what is, just very quickly before we go, what is in your list of meal prep?

Mason: Uh, I've got a red lentil soup, which is literally just a bunch of veggies like pumpkin, sweet potato, uh, carrot and stuff, and just thrown into a soup with lentils. Um, vegetarian fajitas.

Josh: This is great.

Mason: Vegetarian fajitas, uh, some Mexican dish, beef stir-fry.

Josh: What makes them fajitas?

Mason: What meat?

Josh: What makes them fajitas?

Mason: Mate, I don't know.

Josh: Do you put seasoning on?

Tommy: Fuck, you ask too many questions, Mason. Are you gonna have us around for dinner? That's what we're fucking asking. What day is it and when?

Josh: Have there been specific rules? You can't have anyone over, or what's the— what have they said? What are— have they given you a list of rules?

Mason: Uh, not, not really rules, it's just like an action list of, of things to do.

Tommy: But, but he's asking because when I was growing up, 16-year-old kids, we had a few parties. One party we stole all the dad's porn and we had to give it back because he—

Josh: Magazines or what?

Tommy: No, no, no, uh, DVDs. Yeah, had to give it back. We stole weed from one person.

Josh: Imagine being an adult having to be like, kids, give back the porn. Oh no, what sort of a pathetic situation is your life in?

Tommy: We stole weed and we had to replace it. We had to— this is illegal. This 15-year-old kid's trying to source weed from somewhere to give back to this person.

Josh: You're still paying back, bro. Those game jets.

Tommy: Anyway, that's what he's saying. But would you be able to have so for dinner? Would, would that work?

Mason: Yeah, I reckon.

Tommy: I mean, we're inviting ourselves now.

Mason: Yeah, no, well, my mum, my mum wants to come for dinner as well.

Josh: Oh, perfect.

Tommy: Yeah, will you cook for us? We'll chip in.

Josh: Oh, that'd be perfect. I could bring a nice bottle or something.

Tommy: We'll pay for some food.

Josh: Oh, can't we just bring dips and stuff? Yeah, yeah, I'll bring a nice French onion.

Tommy: That'd be nice, that'd be nice.

Josh: Maybe I'll make a bit of cop, uh, What's the bread? Cobb loaf. Cobb loaf.

Tommy: Have you ever made one?

Josh: No, but I've eaten a fair few.

Tommy: Don't make it.

Josh: Why?

Tommy: Actually, they would be a good one to make.

Josh: If I'm sounding tired, it's because I did my first official paid voiceover job.

Tommy: No, it's not. It's because it's 5:30 PM.

Josh: Should have gone to Specsavers. Mr. 97's mum works in learning and development for Specsavers, and they listen to all of us speak in the podcast.

Tommy: Yeah, well, I was walking up the stairs while Josh was down in the studio And I just had a moment because they didn't want the Canadian because he's Canadian.

Mason: Listen, they loved his accent. Yeah, they thought it was hot.

Josh: Okay, but then they go with it and they said no.

George: And I was like, that's, that's rude.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And then, and then Mr. 97 said, oh Josh, they're going, they want you, they like your accent, your voice. I had a moment, I was like, hang on, what the fuck, what about me?

Josh: You took way longer to work out. Like, it was only when you told me on Friday. Yeah, go on.

Tommy: It was only when you started recording that I had the thought coming to my mind.

Josh: Why not me?

Tommy: Why didn't they go with me? I just wanted to know, why didn't they go with me, Mr. 97?

Mason: Too bogan.

Tommy: Ah, yeah.

Josh: But how did I go, do you think?

Mason: Pretty good, I reckon.

Josh: Yeah, I hope. Yeah, I think it will. So there you go. If you, if you work at Specsavers and you're doing any learning and development and you hear a voice just explaining sort of the, um the different offerings. Yeah, whether it's a quiz or, uh, in-person workshops. I can't remember the exact script, but anyway, it's a daily talk show. Um, tonight, um, we're working with our mate, uh, Gronkh Web Designer Blahj. Yeah, on getting the website up. It's looking sick.

Tommy: Amazing.

Josh: So, um, if you go to thedailytalkshow.com, uh, tonight, tonight. Well, it's tonight. Uh, feel free to, if you've gone this far, screen grab it, share it, even go back like, uh, listen to Weekend Banter as well. And as well, it's been a while that we've asked, go on to, uh, Apple Podcasts and leave a review, because we're actually bringing in some of the reviews from Apple Podcasts and putting it on the home page of thedailytalkshow.com. So, um, give that a go. Otherwise, uh, we'll see you tomorrow, uh, bright and early. No, we've got Craig Harper. Yeah, Craig Harper, that's in the late in the arvo. So, um, we'll do that then.

Tommy: See you tomorrow, guys.