"0:03
Daily Talk Show Episode

0:04
311

0:06
with Am I right Craig? hapa.

0:09
Is this all right? If I hold it like this, you happy with that? Yeah,

0:11
I just, I just had to go Craig because he wouldn't wear his headphones and I said you need to watch out for your mark technique. Now. How's that? That's even better. That sounds great. Josh

0:20
Josh will get his bottom lip back in now because he had it hanging out. Because he went out especially in both how much today's costs? I

0:26
can't remember. The 195 Ah, there were 295 so we did Okay, perfect. This road gave us the microphones. Thank you road. You're an Australian company. This is the first time we've got a live audience.

0:42
Yes. Three 400. What would you say? Said

0:44
probably 800. I can't.

0:51
Fucking hill that was

0:53
where we

0:54
are. Is that the Craig hapa? HQ. This?

0:59
week stragglers rolling in? I did say before that. People probably won't show up because it's free. And it's

1:07
funny how hard it is to get people to something Free

1:09
Will you managed to get 750 people to

1:13
pi?

1:14
Pi. And we not getting that many people.

1:18
The only thing that's changed is us too. So that's a good indication.

1:23
Anyway, we'll move on for awareness though.

1:27
Yes. Well, we've got Mr. 97. Here. Say Hi, Mr. Nice. me going.

1:31
Now I know. I'm the only person who doesn't know this. I know. It's not my podcast. I'll shut the fuck up soon. But Mr. 97, because you're going to 97 eight.

1:42
And so

1:45
well, that's exactly right. Because Tommy didn't finish high school. So I got zero. I got a 46 mainly because I

1:51
did all art subjects.

1:53
He's the smartest kid in the room

1:54
and dumb yourself down a bit. So you jumped in with?

1:58
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. wants a little bit of straight credit. He gets into a fight. Tommy can help. Yeah, so

2:04
well. It's definitely not emails. Yeah.

2:07
But what we're doing tonight is we're at your HQ. And we're going to talk about your brand new book. We are 20 questions for humans, by qualified human qualified human.

2:17
Yeah, I was there any question that was going to make the book, but you ended up cutting the very obvious one, but

2:27
nothing that springs to mind, unlike a lot of these overlap a little bit. And so it was just trying, just trying to cover as broad a spectrum as I could which covered a little bit in the social, the emotional, the physiological, the practical, the internal stuff, the external stuff, to you know, explore life broadly.

2:51
For me, like May the experience of writing this book is very great. Because you know, when you're reading, you're halfway through a sentence and you forget where you are, and you forget what you're even doing. Then I look up and I can see the question that you're writing about at the top. It's probably brilliant.

3:05
Does anyone else agree?

3:07
Yeah. So at the front, I wanted to just checking because I haven't seen you in a couple of weeks. Show. Your dedication here.

3:14
Sure. Don't read that because I'll cry for sure.

3:18
It's almost like a smaller, emotional roller coaster. Well,

3:22
actually, if you read that, I will then tell you the subsequent story.

3:25
Yeah, which this is gronk and

3:27
I write it

3:29
feels video. Can you write it, read it like it's audible presents bit of an audio and

3:34
I just want to say how many people have the 800 that I hear

3:38
the 700 of the back? road in light, you gotta come up to the front. How many

3:43
of you have actually read this Really? So we've got 1234 250.

3:50
Yeah. Okay, so that's fucking now

3:52
so there's a dedication at the at the front Shelley's

3:57
she's at the front. Yep. And we do want to come to through cancer. Oh,

4:01
yeah. Just done that. Hi,

4:03
Emily. Welcome to the jelly. Yeah. Hi,

4:05
Emily. All right now. Thank you for coming. I'm about to read to. So this is the dedication in 20 question. Present

4:13
so we starting soon. Oh, yes,

4:14
absolutely. This is it. This is arrived. Take 20 questions for humans by Craig hapa. Read to by Tommy jacket.

4:25
dedication. As much as I love my beautiful mom. I am dedicated. I'm dedicating this book to my dad, the man who doesn't read books. The man who rarely gives hugs the man I have disappointed and sometimes made proud. The man who loves deeply but struggles to express that love. The man who carried his obese 10 year old son in a father and son piggyback race, while the other dads wore their skinny kids like backpacks. The man who with the biggest handicap in father Sunday history pulled off a Herculean second place. He's the man who always lived the values. The man whose moral compass was often my obstacle, the man who paid me a man's wage when I was 14, as long as I did the man work I did, I did the work of a man, the man who taught me about principles, responsibility, and work ethic, the man who still adores my mom and protects her fiercely, the man who still screams at the telly, the man who had no role model, Role Model Model growing up, but somehow turned out to be a great man, the man who goes to church every week, the man who won't know how to respond to this dedication, and the man I respect greatly love you, dad. I just wanted to know how did he respond? Did he read the book?

5:41
Well, he probably didn't read the books. Oh, no.

5:45
The coffee. That's I

5:47
predicted that he probably didn't read the book. But he will he definitely read that bit because I I sent Well, I didn't I don't do any sending. Let's be honest. Melissa sent a book. Melissa sends all the books, Melissa does all the work. Yeah. But so he got the book. And I'm talking to mom. So I ring up and I didn't bring to say did you go we were just chatting. And you know, she goes well, we we got the book. Right? She goes, yes. Lovely. I'll put your father on.

6:22
And he goes, Yeah, it's good. Looks good. It's a good size. And it's like a like the lock to flatten a lot the gloss it sits out well, doesn't it?

6:31
I'm like, yep. Any guys. Yeah. Well, you know, the, you know, I got no, and he goes, you know, the while the bit you wrote the bit, I wrote the whole

6:42
thing.

6:44
I got the bid. I wrote a guy the dedication dead. And he goes, Well, that was embarrassing.

6:52
That's Ron's feedback. That's wrong going Fuck, I love you. Thank you so much for riding that proud of you give us a fucking hug.

6:58
See, this is a chapter in here about self awareness. what's what's the exact question that you've? I think it's around the head. Why? How am I perceived? I mean, you're the one should know this?

7:11
Well, yeah, I've read it. I know I read it as well. But I just forget, oh, the question is, what's it like being around me? Or what's the experience like? And I think that

7:21
this is a really good question. Because we don't live in isolation. We don't live on an island. And we unintentionally and erroneously think that people think like us. And we quite often think that our intention is someone else's experience. So it might be my intention to be mildly amusing and entertaining and somewhat interesting and perhaps slightly

7:50
inspirational.

7:51
But

7:52
the audience's experience is not that it might be that they are deluded, distracted or confused or

8:00
so confused today. With us here.

8:02
So it kind of an I often say to audience, does it matter what people think of you? And often I go, No, fuck, I'm just be me. And I'm like, Nah, that's actually dumb. Because it does matter what people think of you in the sense that if you don't understand how you're perceived, you can't create connection. And connection and communication go effective communication go hand in hand. So if you want to be an effective parent, or an effective friend, or role model, or teacher, or coach, or employer or employee, or human, you need to at least having a level of awareness of what it's like being around you. Otherwise, you will have a false sense of everything. And so, like, I'm aware that

8:51
on the way that there are a percentage of people who will really resonate with my communication style, my language, my character, way of explaining complicated things. I'm also aware that for other people, that won't work. And I'm also aware that I'm going to get one or two or three emails or messages a week from someone going, you're a fucking idiot.

9:14
Do you think do you think your dad has been aware of the type of relationship or the impact that he's sort of had on you?

9:22
I think, you know, I always say if you want to know someone pay a little bit of attention to what they say and a lot of attention to what they do. And my dad is very much he is

9:35
his emotional awareness and perhaps intelligence. And it's probably not the right word. But he's ability to communicate. emotion is

9:45
not amazing, but easy, loving, and generous and kind. And he is he is, does he articulate his feelings? Well, no, terribly. But I always say that, if you want to understand somebody, they understand their story. So my dad grew up in, I probably don't want to say it publicly too much, but I not very good environment. abusive, violent at times. And

10:13
like my life, my childhood was Hollywood compared his, and the way he was treated, and the love that he didn't get and the care and the nurturing that he didn't get. I got relatively I got all of that, you know.

10:27
And so compared to where he came from, and what he experienced, and his role modeling, which there was none, my dad was virtually father of the year, father of the century,

10:39
I think it's definitely changing, isn't it? You know, that generational self awareness or just willingness to engage in their feelings? What why is that changing? Do you think?

10:51
I think, I think it's we live, we live in a, I mean, this is obvious when we go a different time in a different culture. But I mean, back when my dad was literally growing up, there were six boys in one family in the depression. I mouths to feed. So if you got a sandwich, it was fucking exciting. You know? So just the practical reality for a lot of people. When my dad was 10, versus when I was 10. The practical reality for my dad at 10 years of age was just one of survival. like trying to get food, trying not to be starving, trying to figure out how to make these five year old shoes still fit or work, or I think we just inhabit I much and I'm generalizing, but I know that I definitely. Compared to my dad, I had a totally privileged upbringing. You know, all this one kid. I had my choice of bedrooms. I had a box I had private schools at a skateboard. I had three meals a day I had parents love me, I never got beaten I never got screamed at you know. But you know the that amazing book which is called the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman where he talks about you know, the the ways that people give an experience love and my dad's love language, in terms of what he responds to his words of affirmation. Ironically, he doesn't give that much but that's you know, with him when you tell him that his garden is amazing or his artwork because he's a brilliant artist. You tell him how brilliant his work is, or that's that for him fills up his love cup. I'm pretty

12:29
happy my dad's is acts of service. So if I just wanted to build anything for me, come do it ASAP.

12:35
Well, his love my dad's Love Languages the sign if I said give us a hug you'd say fuck off if I said paint my house you said see in the morning. Like it's true so I'll be there at night with my fucking brushes. paga can have a cuddle you all factories a lot. Now.

12:51
What's your love language?

12:52
My love language is

12:58
with people that all I care that care about quality time.

13:04
And I guess Craig loves me, we've spent a Bitly quality time because I'm an insecure Fuck, I guess still. words of affirmation. Yeah. So

13:14
right answer. Great answer.

13:17
Thank you.

13:19
See what he did there?

13:22
I think I'm taking that off.

13:24
Yeah.

13:26
You can wear it like a DJ, if you want.

13:30
Did you? Did you have to unlearn some of those things that your dad taught you about how to love?

13:36
Well, I think, you know, we're constantly being taught but not consciously being taught. Right? So my dad never went to me love is x y, Zed. It's not a B, C, or D f x x y Zed, but, but your parents are always teaching you for better or worse. And, and, you know, for me, most of the time, it's for the better. But like we out, you know, our brains, data processing, data absorbing, you know, centers. And so we are always taking data on board. You know, we have 70,000 thoughts a day non of 90% of those 90% of those thoughts we had yesterday, right? We're always interpreting stimuli around us. And it doesn't matter. You know, if you want to be like your parents or not, you will be like your parents, on some level, even if you think you're not, there will be stuff that rubs off for better or worse. And so I think the whole thing of in this part of the book and part of the human experiences, you know, rather than just going because I think a lot of people God thought, well, that's just how he is, or that's just how she is. Or this is just me, I'm not the athletic one, or I'm not academic, or I am this or I'm not that. These are just stories that we tell ourselves. Like, I remember when I wrote my first book, which was 2003, it was called fortitude. So 2003 I was 63 hours 40. My Fuck, who might have brought a book? Yeah, who might have brought a book now? And I'll read it. And that was the reinforcement. I got people like, Well, you know, it's good. You're writing a book, but they're very hard to get published. And most people were kind of saying you won't get it published. And then by the time I wrote my out and no, not so 10th book, it's not like, Can I write a book? It's like, Can I write a book? That will be a book that people want to read? How am I going to distribute it? How am I going to sell it? How we going to market it? How's it going to be different? What's the right formula? How many words how do I make it readable and digestible and valuable for people? And then how do I turn that obviously, or hopefully into a product as well? You know, so I think that long winded answer is that we are always being taught Mr. Always being influenced. And we're always being molded and programmed by everything external, be that TV, social media, government, parents, school friends. But the challenge for us in the middle of all of that external stimuli is in the middle of that to be a conscious being that's aware of what's happening around us and to us. And then to figure out who we are and how we are independently. Irrespective of those forces,

16:09
can we help change our story if we decide that we get to a certain age and the way that people have sort of set us up or maybe even how we've set ourselves up as a story has changed? And they individual conversations is like, Hey, Mom and Dad, I'm actually different to who I was when I was deciding,

16:27
yeah, I think we're always evolving, but I think we often and understandably, we get put in a pigeonhole or a box, or we get stereotyped by people in our world who won, see us a certain way, which is okay, and to want us to be a certain way. So the challenge is for us to write our story not to be a character in someone else's version, their version of what our story should be. And I had my own story about who I was, and how I my story was on the fat kid who is not very good at anything. And then I started to do a few things, not because I had amazing self belief, but just because there was enough emotional leverage i a pain to go fuck this

17:06
with, is there a risk in being so detached to the other story that you end up? Actually,

17:15
that becomes even more a defining factor? So your weight and all that sort of thing? Is there a point where it's like, actually, I'm not only not that person who was overweight? by actually don't even need to reference it? It's not even empowered.

17:30
Yeah, yeah, I think we get hung up on stuff. And I've been hung up on stuff. And I think we, you know, I think sometimes the pendulum swing the pendulum swings. And sometimes people who for example, used to eat meat now they vegans now, they're fucking evangelicals who drive everyone nuts. It's like Kobe, a vegan, but you don't have to try and make me one. God bless your socks. Yeah, I think it's great. And I respect you. But you don't have to twist my arm just like I don't need to twist your arm to eat meat. And I think so some people become whatever it is that they are running away from, then they embrace the opposite of that. And then I try and evangelize the world around their value system and their belief. And I think that's, I understand how that happens. But it's also not a good way to create connection. So becoming as a person of influence, in a good way is not only about having a message and having values and having a philosophy or an ideology, that sound, but more importantly, being aware of who wants to hear that, and when. So,

18:32
there are many, many, many, many times where I would have I see an opportunity to help somebody, but I know that that person doesn't want to learn or doesn't want to hear from me, because I'm just not getting it. And so I don't and that's okay.

18:45
I mean, it's hard when it's a loved one, when you want to be telling them the thing that they need, will you think that they need and

18:52
so I wrote about that in?

18:56
I don't know, one of my books Stop fucking around, I think, where I I spoke about the fact that my mom smoked, from when I think mom smoked from when she was about 15 until she was about 60, which is 45 years. Right?

19:10
And she stopped at 60 Yes. What do you remember that what that moment was? Well,

19:15
I remember from when she was 40 to 60 I badgered the fuck out. Right? And the end, because, okay,

19:22
you could say took 20 years of badgering for

19:25
work.

19:26
But the thing was, was I sharing her valuable? was a sharing a valuable message. Yes. Where my intentions good? Yes. Was my information correct? Yes. Is it potentially lethal? Yes. Did she want to hear from me? No. Right. And so instead of creating awareness and engagement and an appropriate what I thought was an appropriate positive response. All I created with my mom who didn't want to hear she didn't want me to teacher was resentment and disconnection. And then I finally stopped. Because it took me 20 years because I'm that dumb. Then a year or two later, or by yourself, she gave up? Yeah, with no help for me. And so

20:07
good intentions don't always equal a good result. And I mean, you know, there are varying degrees of that if you've got an addict child who's about to go down that the deepest hole, and you know, I get it, but but in general terms,

20:22
I'm not, I'm never going to try to teach someone who doesn't want me to teach them

20:26
ever. You wrote about intentions in here in that it's not people's interpretation, most of the time, the intention, I've always gone into situations where, I mean, it's pretty noisy environment these days online, you know, people can comment about anything anyone's doing now. And when you and I've kind of healed myself going, I know my intentions are good here. So it's okay. Is that limiting, though, to some degree where the feedback might not be great, but you knew your intentions? Great.

20:57
I think as long as you know, your intentions are good, your motives are good, but at the same time, having enough

21:04
awareness and situational awareness and practical intelligence to know when's a good time to share and when's not. And I think the limitation of social media, like I put up something the other day, and it said, essentially, D world, please be more loving and less less religious. Right? So that's my message. And I grew up in a religious environment, and my parents are religious. So I have nothing against a religion. But I think there's a lot of bad shit done in the name of religion. Not that religions the cause. But there's not many bad things done that come from a place of love to know what I'm saying. And so what I was trying to say was,

21:48
if if everything that we do, as much as humanly possible comes from that platform of I want to help, I want to live, I want to be caught, I want to be generous I want to serve, then I probably can't find cup. But at the same time, it's possible to be very religious, and not at all loving or condo generous, and I've seen it many times. And so I wasn't trying to be any religion. I was trying to be pro love. But a whole bunch, wow.

22:14
I'm like, okay, because you can't articulate it with just a thing on a whiteboard. So I took it down, because I thought it's going to start a shit fest. I know what I meant. Yeah. And I actually wasn't being derogatory to religious people, because in fact, I was religious. quite quite a big part of my life.

22:34
And so I have respect from religion, but I also think that wants it or not like it or not, believe it or not, we are, whether or not it's with our football team, or our religion, or our ideology around food, or we have all been indoctrinated. All of us, you may, everyone in this whole 800 of the people in the room. Shut up.

23:02
But, but

23:04
the thing is to have that awareness that I've been programmed, have that awareness that I only think the way that I think because of the shit that I've been through. And so this is why like asking these questions about what do I think the way that I think, is? Is it just a byproduct of my life? Or do I think this way, because I've consciously created this cognitive landscape, by asking and searching and seeking and putting myself in a place where I want, I don't want to be right, I want to grow. I don't want to win, I want to evolve. And if that means me going, I fucked up and I'm a dickhead. And I'm sorry, and I'm wrong. But I'm being humble and real, then that's, that's where I want to go.

23:50
There's obviously a lot of questions that we can ask ourselves, there are certain questions that you think a good of asking of other people.

23:59
us ask other pm. Yeah, I think like, What's it like being around me? Not because I want approval or attention or because I want to tell them is, but because I want to have a relationship with you where it's, it's, it's win win. And I want to have a relationship with you were on the same page. And I want to, I want to ask you also. So we're in this relationship Josh this business, or we're in this conversation, or we're sorting through this issue or challenge? What's your version of this? Because it's in my interest and your interest and his interest in everyone's interest to at least understand, not agree with necessarily not embrace, but at least to understand each other's reality

24:40
can be can be structured, where it doesn't feel like, because I feel like these questions are great when we're hitting a point of turmoil or things are hard. How do I not seem like a weird unit by taking him out for coffee? And just asking you, what am I like to be around? With that you go? You're not so weird. I can.

25:01
I just think that stuff comes up organically, like I met with somebody this morning, who's going through some shit. And

25:12
we met for an hour and a quarter, and I would have done 5% of the talking. And she would have done 95. So it's just knowing when to talk and when not to talk. And, and I think it doesn't, you know, if you ask something and you seem a bit weird or feel it doesn't matter. Yeah, like it just so bored. I'm like, I have lots of people that think I'm weird for a range of reasons as May.

25:36
But thank you,

25:37
but I love it. Thank you. But all I care about really is that I'm doing my best to live aligned to my values, which I didn't always do.

25:48
Question to what am i core values? And how do I live in alignment and Eddie McGuire here, he wants to be a millionaire, you want to find a friend.

25:58
Know what I love these you wrote, when I'm in alignment, which is not all the time, my experience is usually one of common contentment. And when I'm out of alignment, it happens. My experience usually sits somewhere on the scale around anxiety, Misery, disappointment, and guilt. I hadn't heard you say that bit about feeling what it's like for you feeling when you're out of alignment? Is that do you think a good gauge for other people in terms of listening to that level of anxiety, disappointment or guilt? to gauge whether they are living out of alignment?

26:34
Maybe I mean, usually I my observation is that when people are living a more aligned existence, which just means, well, what's the stuff that really matters to me, you know, love, connection, people purpose, living my beliefs and values, I guess that's the stuff that really matters to me. Not that there's anything wrong with driving a Porsche living in a mansion or earning a million bucks a year. Nothing wrong with any of that. But I think for the most part, when people are like, we've all met people who are living, what we would call a successful existence. It's all shiny and fucking amazing, who are also taking Xanax and Valium, and Prozac and three other kind of mood enhancers, or anxiety controllers, or whatever. And so what we know is that it's very easy. It's not easy, but it's very possible to have an external existence, which looks amazing, but an internal reality, which is fucking diabolical. So I don't care about how shiny someone's life is, I care about what they're experiencing the moment, because I've worked with lots of high profile, wealthy, successful, well known people who, I would say are disproportionately less happy than my run of the mill friends. And I know that's a very broad statement. But it's true where, because I think, in our culture, and this is getting deep, but and these are just my thoughts. But I think in our culture, largely we are taught that success is what you have, what you own, what you earn, what you look like, and what people think you, right, and so you that's what you grow up going Fuck, I've got to look like this, I've got I did that I go, all I wanted to do is because I was this fat kid who was picked last for every sporting team and all these things, I associated my body with negative stuff, so it will fuck if I can have an amazing body, then that'll equal good stuff. And then I started to get in shape. And I got more popular and I started to get picked for sporting teams, I started to win. So I drew this unhealthy, unhealthy correlation between my physical state and success. And in a way it can be, but I kind of thought that was the totality of it. You know, and then I woke up when I was 22. And just wanted to be Mr. Universe, and I was this hundred kilos, insecure, overthinking.

28:56
Fuck wit with great big muscles and 5% body fat, you know, and I was still looking for approval. And I still wanted, I could never be big enough or lean enough or anything enough, but it was never about my body. It was always about the internal stuff.

29:11
Why do you think we make the same mistakes over and over again?

29:16
Because we don't address the cause? We don't address the cause we go on nodes of 70 inch teli Fuck you get it now must be the 75 Now I know that it not not on a a giant cock. That's

29:29
right.

29:29
12 inch fucking that's what all whatever. Like it's, we always think we done articulate this. But we think that something external, a thing, a brand, a Facebook, number of likes, or whatever, will will fix some internal issue

29:51
because it does temporarily In summary, I think that's part of the trick, right? Which is, especially

29:57
how stuff just distracts us. Yeah, like I remember buying $130,000 cars and four days later gun.

30:07
Yeah.

30:09
But it's the is the DP so the raising endorphins and excitement you get from these purchases or you know, whatever you're looking at that gives you the enjoyment in that

30:18
exactly bought fucking expensive headphones.

30:20
Yeah, for example, for example,

30:22
happy bad, then you might doesn't want to wait,

30:24
exactly what true kind of and we we chucked

30:27
out the shirt.

30:28
That was your choice to check out the box anyways.

30:31
No, but so you there's something in that up and down where it's like, feels greater than the sort of plateau with happiness

30:40
feels like we move forward a little bit. But it seems like a two step forward one step back, I guess where I noticed it in a big way was Facebook started doing the the memories stuff, right? And then I was like, it would get to certain times of the year and I'm like, hang on. This was a picture. I'm like, I'm doing something just the same as why I did the Nov. It's like, every, every Sunday, why is it every Sunday is the last day that I'm always going to eat shit food. It's always on a Sunday and I go fucking hard every Sunday. And Tommy pointed out to me Josh you've done that every fucking Sunday this year. And so it's really just a cheat day. So how do we how do we actually like shift that because it feels like at the time, it's like, you've got this amazing amount of force that the mistakes keep on happening.

31:31
Okay, so let's talk about your eating. Yeah. Right. So, I mean, the thing is that, that behavior with you where every Sunday you fuck up and tell yourself this story? That's not new. That's long standing. Right? Yeah. So that's hardwired? That's you on autopilot? In fact, what Yeah, right. Absolutely. That's you Josh the fuck with telling himself a story, despite your significant intelligence. So questionable.

31:59
So you're, you're not going to fix that by Tuesday. So there needs to be there needs to be a an internal shift on a subconscious level, because your subconscious controls most of your behaviors and the big stuff, not, you know, will I have that milk or that milk? Or will I wear the blue or brown socks but, but in terms of the way that you typically behave day to day, on a kind of autopilot level, that's your subconscious. And so your patterns and your predictable behaviors and your habits, destructive and good. They're all hardwired into your subconscious mind. And so for you, it's a matter of recognizing, you know, it starts with acknowledgement, humility and awareness. No bullshit. Don't give yourself a fucking get out of jail card. Like the truth is, you've done this, I don't know, let's just say the last 50 Sundays in a row. chances of you not doing it this Sunday next to zero. Yeah, so if nothing changes, nothing changes as a challenge. So well, it feels like that's exactly playing challenge, because that's

33:04
the scan. But no,

33:06
again, that's just another thing you do for a while Absolutely. car, I got a Dexter scan, I started this thing, fuck starting getting bought an operating system. Because when you change your cognitive default setting, the behaviors will happen. The problem, the behaviors are not the problem. The behaviors are the consequence of the problem. The problem is internal. But that manifests externally in this, right? So that's why we go I'll change that. No, don't change that. Change this change how you think change how you operate, change your default setting, change your relationship with food, change the story that you tell yourself over time, and then that will be a byproduct. So when when you eating in a way, which serves your body is hardwired into your operating system, you don't need discipline, you've done it self control, you don't need motivation, you don't need willpower, because now you're living in a alignment with your values. And I would say one of your values is health. And I'd say one of your values is healthy eating. And I'd say one of your values is being in the best shape that you can without being egotistical or vain. But managing that irreplaceable gift that you've got for the next 30 4050 years. Right. So the thing is, this is a value then we have a value driven existence where we go well, one of my values is to live in the best version of this I can call now what are the behaviors from us lifestyle from a food from a sleep from a self management from an exercise point of view? What are the behaviors that for me? No to me non negotiable,

34:36
then I think the non negotiable thing is a is a big one, because it's when you can start to apply in our Well, it's okay on this day, or if it's this occasion,

34:46
I've tried a bunch of different what sort of programs and things to sort of stay on track. And this year, I've done this thing where I train every second day, doesn't matter what I do, I have to do something. And it's has to be I cannot have two days off. And what that has done for me and I've I used to be a PT and I you know, had a good regimen. But this is the thing that has kept me the most consistent Where is like, doesn't matter what it is every second day. And it's shifted everything else around that. What I'm deciding to eat. When I'm training. I'm I don't feel like eating she's at night. But for me I've Yeah, I mean, that's just one thing I've tried. That's work.

35:26
It's the reframing because I think about like the podcast, we've done 311 episodes. We haven't missed a week day. I went to Europe for four months. You know, we did it remotely. We made it work. And so if I think about if I could just bring even one 10th of that energy, I think will make a mess.

35:42
I tell Josh today that he's missing his why. And it's because I've been reading your book, question six.

35:48
Because we we deconstructed my New Year's, we deconstructed my new year's resolutions. Yeah. Because I've

35:54
got I saw that dial a the way. Yeah.

35:58
And it was so funny, because as I'm reading question 6am I, and knowing what Josh is listed as like, totally, totally left at the Y.

36:07
Yeah, three once you tell me what you think. Yeah. We just got like weekly visit the gym three times per week. Right one personal blog post, right one industry slash business blog post cook for bringing it twice. There was also water for one hour. Yeah, that was my day. I

36:25
thought blue is a little early. Well, I think that's a lot. an hour a day.

36:29
an hour a day is fine. Yeah, we don't know much. We've never done that on a live show.

36:37
No, you do. But I think Tommy's detached he says so much is attached detached from the fact that

36:45
I get the bloody slack from

36:47
talking about a lot because yeah, you

36:51
know, your audience. I don't know.

36:55
If there been any specific times, Craig, when

36:59
when did when basically identify you falling off the tracks in regards to the things have you got early identifies where it's like, if I Tommy talks about I can't miss more than, you know, two days in a row and ever.

37:14
What What is it for you? Let me say two things. So first thing is I like I really like that. And I really like your every second day. So when we're talking about transformation, so you going from your current operating system to one that's going to work for you. It's it's we do need to be strategic. So you need a plan you but you also need to go. But I also know me? So is it realistic for me to go right? I'm going to do if I can every day that it up? Probably not. So you know what is more realistic? And then you create that as a base and you might build on it, or you might stay there?

37:50
What was it?

37:51
Yeah, so what she does with it? When?

37:55
Yeah, so

37:58
look, the older I get,

38:01
the more I pay attention to that still small voice. And I don't know what that is or where that comes from. But it's smarter than me. And, you know, this kid that could be

38:12
could have put some way,

38:12
Brian, we just hired him. It's easier that way than storing them in the mail. It

38:16
is right.

38:18
It's very good. You expensive. And he's actually quite quite recently.

38:23
I've got Alex, the intern who I split the fuck out.

38:28
We all need one.

38:30
But I always say

38:34
your life will tell you. So my life is always telling me something. So the way that people respond to me is that's that's information, the way that my body responds to various stimuli. That's information like your body is a biofeedback system. It's always telling you something, your results in business are always telling you something, the amount of people that you know, you podcast doing this doing this doing this, then you get to point a does that well, that's which it won't do with you too. That's not a bit the fact that Okay, so let's look at your podcast. Yeah. So you've, you've done this very beautiful and linear growth, because you guys are very likable, you're both charismatic. You're both good dudes, you have really good conversations, you know how to market and brand, you know how to create good audio good content, you know how to shoot things. And so you're very strategic, but in the middle of all of the strategy, in a fucking overwhelm of podcasts, you guys, I believe, will have one of the best and most successful podcasts in Australia, and eventually, perhaps the world in this space, because you are very good and very consistent. Because the amount of people have got back, I'm going to do a podcast and buy three bits of equipment and talk to their back and neighbor four times. God, oh, I tried it, it didn't work. Because you just you guys are talented and all that stuff. But the level of commitment and work that you have wrapped around your core ability and your focus is fucking amazing. So if you could take a bit of that to some of this stuff that for you is a personal challenge, right? Then, you know, you'd kill that other stuff as well. But

40:08
what's very unsexy, I think that's the realization is I've never had anything that I've, we've been able to do this consistently. And I constantly think about well, like Tommy did say,

40:21
brought up the idea of doing push ups before the show,

40:25
as well,

40:26
you know, because this was when I was pushing back on the gym. The idea being that we do the fucking show every day, at least if we do it before the show, it will 50 5050

40:38
pushups better than now.

40:39
Yeah,

40:40
it's very sure. But I think there there is something in the, you know, taking the consistent thing, which is the unsexy thing. It doesn't even feel like it makes any, like part of the Tommy and I went to the gym, you know, three times a week for the first part of the January.

41:00
Generally,

41:01
yeah, maybe Oh, yeah. The first couple of weeks. Jen.

41:04
Yeah. And the thing was that our membership still

41:07
Yeah, still paying membership. So fitness first, I'm part of that percentage, you know, the ones like, I'm, yeah, I'm the 85%. That's funding all of you guys in the in the audience. But, but the thing is, I don't know what where I was going, I think

41:24
I'm gonna

41:26
know where I am right now.

41:27
I've just

41:31
taken away from our situation, there's a lot of people's situations, the right now we shoot him where they want to go to is good. And so it's really hard in that shitty situation. Correct? To make the progress?

41:43
Yeah. So but that, that this shit is,

41:49
that's, that's part of the human experience. It's like, people want to, like everybody wants a better something, everybody wants a better life for a better body, or a better job, or a better internal state or a better marriage, or a better level of motivation, or better outcomes or better financial situation, everybody wants something better. But for the most part, that's never gonna just occur, we need to create that or let go of it. Right. So it's not just going to eventually.

42:22
But generally, to get from where we are metaphorically, to where we want to be, will involve decision making effort, energy, discomfort, unfamiliarity, and, or a combination of those things. So and you've most of you have heard me say this, but the dark side, the dichotomy is, on the one hand, I want to learn, grow, evolve, become fucking amazing, resilient, mentally, emotionally tough. But at the same time, I want to get uncomfortable, right? So we're attached to comfort while wanting to grow. But comfort and growth don't go together. So it's alright. So, you know, like, I get asked, once day, how do I do what you do? I become a professional speaker. And I get asked quite often, how do I get out of my fear of public speaking? And the answer is public speaking, public speaking. You can't get good at what you don't do. Yeah, but I'm terrified yet. But I've never met anyone who's died from public speaking. You know, so you'll be okay. I'm

43:17
sure there's been a bad stage fall or something like

43:23
what you talk about the three taking three days off a year, just to be on your own?

43:29
Yeah.

43:30
How long have you actively

43:32
10 years? I did 10 days, I do. I spend a lot of time by myself, because I travel a lot. And I'm away in hotels by myself. Yeah. So I have 2448 hours where I'm not with anyone Anyway, I'll just go out and talk to a bunch of people for an hour or two, then Fuck off. So I get and I'm not married, and I don't have kids. And I live by myself. So I spend a lot of time alone. But like I talked to people who are never alone. And and so I think it's very good to get literal geographical and metaphoric space from your life, because you can't be objective about the thing that you're in the middle of. And some people have been living and existence a groundhog day existence, and not wanting to be there. I mean, in that same existence for years, but never really found the courage or the time, or the space, or the awareness or the whatever, to

44:28
figure out exactly where they want to be. Like, I know, I don't want to be here. I don't know where I want to be. But I don't want to be here. And and I know that. And most people here probably know that. You often when you're away from your life, so to speak. When you're away from your day to day, it's really easy to see things more clearly. And go, Well, why do I continue to do that? And you don't have to, we just tell ourselves, we have to end. And I'm not saying okay, you're in a job, your height, so quit tomorrow, and there'll be a brand new one saying that. But what I'm saying is, it might take you 1234 years to transition. But that's that that's not a reason to not do it. Yeah. Because for years are going to come and go anyway. Five years are going to come and go anyway. You know, I interviewed a guy this afternoon at my place on a real podcast. What's it called?

45:25
It's called the project

45:27
called Dr. Richard Heisman, and we were talking about stuff. And he's an academic, obviously, and good guy. And I was telling this story about how I somehow stumbled my way into a PhD placement to do a PhD in philosophy quite a few years ago. Did you know that? Oh, did you finish it short in

45:48
here, man,

45:50
I'd have a shirt that said

45:53
I didn't even really stop

45:54
sign Hey, me, guys, you should do

45:56
it on.

45:58
I'm kind of busy. And he goes, but you could use your business and your, you know, your daughter and your books and the people that you have access to as kind of your subjects and your, you could base your and unlike not enough, I'm going to do that button. Like it got me a bit excited. I thought fuck Imagine if I could marry a PhD with what I do and do it together. And I went so what if I'm 61 or two when I get my PhD? So what I because part of me is gone. I don't be ridiculous. You're talking 55. And, and immediately, I started to find reasons not to do it. But the kid in me, so I thought

46:38
that'd be great. Doc to hop into

46:43
just a shit paper. You know, I but it's like, well, I don't know if I will. But what if I want to? I will?

46:50
Question 20 no champion, this is not the end. But it's a big question. Sure. What's the meaning of life?

46:59
As a CPE coffee?

47:00
Yeah.

47:02
So that

47:05
the book is not? Here's the question. Here's the answer. The book is a guy who talks to lots of people has thousands of conversations, to everyone to people from everything about their bum and legs, to the happiness to their purpose to their children's drug addiction, to their bank balance to what happens when we die to, to, you know,

47:29
existentialism to everything right to to you know why we're here, psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, socially. It's, it's, and so this, this is really just a bunch of questions that we explore. And the most asked question in philosophy is, what's the meaning of life? But one of the most asked questions, and I think the better question is, what's the meaning of my life, because I think he can go down the hole. And I love philosophy, but I also love living practically, and

48:03
because life is, is kind of a philosophy, but it's also an experience to be lived. And relationships are to be lived in insight as to be gained and wisdom has to be gleaned and applied. So for me, it's more the gist of that is rather than trying to subscribe to or adhere to, or discover some

48:24
divine or perhaps pre determined purpose for your life, as per prescribed by someone else, or something else. Why don't you say, not what's the meaning of life, but what's the meaning of my life, and, and the meaning of your life is optional. So the meaning of my life is to help people, that's the focus is to teach us to coaches to encourage people to explore their talent, explore their possibilities, explore their potential, that is the meaning of my life. And of course, around that, I'll have until dick jokes and ride my motorbikes and lift weights and trying to the crab and talk shit and talk shit with you, too. But but the, the, the meaning of my life is really to help others be happier and more fulfilled and to grow and learn. Why is that the meaning of my life? because, one, that's what I've chosen and to that's what I believe I meant to do. So if there's any pre determination, I feel like that's inherently what I meant to do. Do I think everybody's meant to do that? No.

49:31
Have you ever had an aha moment or a perception shift that only happened based on the amount of time you've spent on this earth that you wish? Younger people understood?

49:46
Basically, I want to fucking hack, I want to use you as a way of working out what I need to do?

49:51
Well, I think, I think the, you got three minutes.

49:57
I think that understanding that I think we all get this, but we don't get it is that we exist in two worlds, an external physical three dimensional world where we can sit in a room like this, where our macro reality in this moment is same room, same time, same stimulus, same guys, same voices, same temperature in the room, same shitty chairs that you're all sitting on. So we're all having on a macro level, a very common experience. But on a micro level, we've got all jokes aside, you know, 25 people or something in the room. So we've got 25 people, nobody in the room is having the same experience that fucking fascinates me. So your experience is not mine. Mine is not Thomas Thomas is not Mr. 97th, and so on. So no one in the room is having the same experience. So no one is inhabiting on a personal level, the same reality. And so the realities could be ranging in this room from extremely positive to extremely negative, depending on the data processing center, and the stories that the end vigil is telling themselves. So for me, it's understanding that, yes, I need to manage my practical external world and have a job and drive a car and live in a house and pay my bills, and be nice to other humans and stop at the red and go at the green and all that kind of stuff. But But that is not where I live. That's just where I do life. Where I live is in my head and in my emotions and in, in my feelings and in my behavior. And in my relationships with people. And so, you know, how many times you talk to someone you know, around Christmas, where you go, what do you goals for next year, and they go, you know what, I just want to figure out why I'm so broken, and I want to work on I want to work on becoming more empathetic and aware. I want to become better at asking questions better at paying attention. I want to be more loving, I want to be less judgmental, I want to be right. I'm not saying we should all do that all the time. But what's the typical thing? And this own that drive that change that build that renovate that fucking do? It's all external. Yeah, we are externally obsessed. But nobody fucking lives in a plasma screen or a fuckin Porsche or whatever. Even metaphorically, we don't live in a house. You exist in a house. But it's not where you live, where you live, is in your thinking and you're feeling in your emoting and you're loving, and you're giving and you're receiving. That's where you live.

52:20
In a couple of minutes. We'll open the floor for anyone that's got questions. So if you do have one, Mr. 97 will come around. But when we do ask you just put your hand up. And then Mr. 97 walks over with the microphone.

52:32
Yeah, sorry about that. And as you're experienced Mr. 97 of this event tonight, how are you feeling? Man?

52:39
Oh, it's great. I'm learning heaps. I think one question that I have, because I think a lot of a lot of these questions, I guess, sort of overwhelming to think of.

52:50
So what would be something that I could do to start growing more and just? Yes, developing?

53:01
Okay, he's, I mean, I can answer that 100 wise, answer this white? How old are you?

53:05
19. When you 20 November 1, my shoes at 20 years.

53:11
Before he started with us, hey, this would have scared the absolute shit out of him.

53:16
So it scares the shit out of my guy. So

53:19
and I can answer this 50 ways and what I'm about to give you is not the best answer, but it's an okay answer. And even, you know, see the thing. Five years for me is like that for five years. It's 25% of your life. Yeah, so far, right. But I would start to think about for you, did you say 19? Yep, yep. Okay, so let's round you up to 20. So I would go, what do I want my life rounding up? What do I want my life to look like when I'm 25?

53:49
If everything goes great, what will I be doing? In work in academia, the daily daily talk show you have your own one.

54:02
Will it be called Mr. 97? Does Vegas.

54:09
So it's trying to get clear about perhaps maybe even in one year, get hit around one year? So even if you go What's the date today?

54:17
The 2015.

54:20
So 25th March so if you go 25th Of March 2020. So you got 365 days from now everything's gone? Fucking great. Okay, cool. What is grateful clock?

54:31
Yeah, sure.

54:32
With your body, with your school, with your career with these guys, with your friends with your girlfriend, boyfriend, both. Whatever busy is really

54:43
blue sky thinking because I know that the bright you you lose a brain pop scenes are probably can't do that, I probably won't have that money, I probably couldn't get that and forsake

54:53
it will definitely but it's like training for a marathon, you definitely not going to run a marathon unless you start training. So that works, that will happen if you don't get the marathon, you'll be ye fitter than you are now. You know, so it's, it's about going what's in my control, what's not what's what's not totally in my control, is everything that might happen over the next year and what the outcome might be, it's not totally in your control, because there are external variables. But what is in your control is who you spend time with, what you expose your mind to

55:26
your choices, your behaviors, your standards, your values, the kind of person you want to work to be. So that, you know, and this is about, I believe that that we largely live and I'm generalizing. And this is not an offense to anyone, and not meant to be that we live very, we live largely unconsciously. And so this is more going. I want to be more conscious about the way my life turns out, rather than just being this passenger. Because he is going to come and go no matter what. Yeah, if you're a Fuck, what are your the most deep thinking? life changing? You know, it's going to there's going to us going to come and go and you're going to be here anyway Josh,

56:06
do you think we should use this moment to get a bit of date coaching? So we sit Mr. 90, well, we facilitate that is a great player.

56:17
first ever date, at the age of 19. He'd never been out on the dice. Yeah, girl. Yeah. And now he's had to

56:23
Yeah, so we so we connected up with a podcast called shameless. They have a massive female audience. And so basically,

56:32
they threw him to the wolves. Yeah. And

56:34
Mr. 97 had, how many people have you got following you on Instagram? Hundred and 66? Yeah,

56:39
yeah. 95% women?

56:41
Yeah. All over a cane? What if what, in all seriousness,

56:45
I can see if he needs advice?

56:46
Well, I know.

56:48
I should get advice from him.

56:50
No, no, but I think it's an internal. So like, not not advice about the date or whatever. But I think about him, a guy who hadn't been on dates before we had a bit of confidence issues.

57:04
I think you got to reframe it. I think, you know, if you're going to catch up with a girl, don't don't get out of the I'm going on a date story.

57:13
Yes. Got it, then Really? Because we've really pushed the

57:17
fun as if you to have any idea?

57:21
Yeah.

57:23
It's a fair, fair point on the show.

57:28
I would I would as easy.

57:32
Well, this is easier said than done. But I would,

57:34
you know,

57:36
I would go into that going, I'm just going to have an experience with another person and not, you know, not expect anything other than to have a time Have a good time with someone else. And if you say them again, Oh, don't say them again. It's cool. It's not a winner or Lawson. It's not good or bad. It's just an experienced. And, you know, like,

58:02
I mean, I think no matter what the situation that

58:07
creating connection with somebody is 99% about being genuinely in that moment and listening to them. And not trying to get across whatever. It's just just listening, paying attention asking good questions. Yeah. And being genuine, like black. I know that sounds cheesy, but I mean, if you really want advice, like, you know, what's not impressive people who try to impress Yeah, fucking The worst thing you can do is try to be impressive. It's

58:35
my most annoying

58:36
promos will wear a T shirt that says I'm insecure. You know, just just be a good dude.

58:42
Yeah, annoyingly, he's been doing exactly that. And I've been trying to push harder. So I'm glad

58:48
that you're here.

58:50
Just on a side note, what does your T shirt say?

58:54
Sorry, I'm late. I didn't want to be here.

58:57
officially made for tonight. They official.

59:01
One of my mentees, I'll give him a plug. His name is jack the bear. JACK the bear. He might say son, he gave me this, I think Yeah,

59:08
very young boy. Very funny. Does anyone have a question? And you can't not have one? Because I've asked now? Don't? I'm going to send Mr. 97. Your way? I don't know. I definitely we have a question. I mean, you paid all this money to come here.

59:23
If you don't, I've definitely got got many. Yeah,

59:25
or I've got a book Danny with 20.

59:27
Well, here we go. I mean, the one thing that I'm thinking is like it's it makes sense. The, you know, all the stuff that you talk about makes a lot of sense. I guess one of the things is around when life throws you a curveball, so you can be super in touch with what you're doing. You can be doing all the things right, ticking all the boxes, and then chicken go wrong. people close to you die, people close to you get sick. And then all of a sudden you have to reframe all of those things, you've got things that you can control. And then you have these things that can happen, correct. what's what's been your take on the, you know, just fact and get off your ass and do this thing versus circumstances that people can't control.

1:00:14
I think like, honestly, I've been blessed because I've worked with blogs in prison, I've worked with addicts and alcoholics are at some of them death's door, who are in and out of incarceration, have worked with the government. I spoke recently in Canberra with 250 leaders of government, I've spoken with, I've worked with elite athletes of work with the gym. So I made I made a big, big cross section of humanity. And that the truth is that there's in terms of life, there's more out of our control than in our control. And so it's our ability to be out. It's our ability, largely to be okay with not being okay. And it's not cannot control everything, but cannot be okay without controlling everything. And don't embarrass him. But there's a friend of mine is here tonight, john, who has been through and a few of you have who follow me know that john story, but, and I won't give away too much. But he got blown up in an industrial accident, literally blown up. And family was totally die, and totally, he wouldn't live. And then if he did live, which you wouldn't believe he did, he'd be a quadriplegic, and he'd be severely brain damaged. And he's, you know, and all of these things. And that was December one 2017. And he's still here. And I see him three days a week, and we do his rehab together, and

1:01:41
gave me a fucking stern handshake at the front door.

1:01:43
Good. And in the middle of this dude. And I remember one day, we were at the gym, and we a part of his rehab was trying to crawl. So here's this you never walk you never there should be a quadriplegic, you'll have to have all these special shit you house and you, you know, and he's still got a long way to go. And he's still rehabbing. But I remember looking down, and he crawled from that into the mat to that end of the mat, in about three painful minutes. And he looked up at me, like he just want to fuck an Olympic gold medal, right? And he was fucking teary. And I was teary and the crab, my training partner was teary, they three big alpha males couldn't've been fucking happier for this champion of a human crawling three meters, right? And then you go, Ah, ok, so I have zero problems. You know. And so for me, being able to spend time with people like john and being able to work with people who, like I've got the most privileged life ever, I have zero problems. If I ever complain about my life, any of you can punch me in the face, because my life is fucking amazing. And if I have problems on the problem, if I start complaining about something, the problems may be we don't want to go the problems may because we want to deflect because if I go the problems me, then I've got to step up, own up and do something. So it's much easier to go at him at her. It's this. It's my genetics, it's, and I'm not saying people don't have legit issues. But I'm saying, and this is not very popular, because I work with people with real problems. But I think a lot of the problems that we consider problems are just stories we tell ourselves because we're precious. I'm not saying they're not people with real, mental and emotional health issues. Of course, there are and I have my respect and my compassion. But when I talk to somebody who's problems a half out of 10, and they're talking as though it's an 11 out of 10. I feel like go and hang out with Johnny for a half a day and shut the fuck up.

1:03:45
How do you create in the moments when you've lost perspective? How do you remind you know, your rights is light?

1:03:54
Blow up? Yeah, yeah.

1:03:56
Well, I think that all of this question,

1:04:00
reliable laughs

1:04:01
But the thing too, is we are human. And do I ever lose perspective and practice sheets and feel sorry for myself? Hundred percent? Yeah. Am I aware in the moment that I'm also being addicted? Yeah, but I'm in that fucking emotion. And I'm going to ride it.

1:04:15
But this is this is the human experience, but I don't like when I fuck up. I 100% know, I'm the problem. And I and there's a big difference between self loathing I'm a moron. I'm a fucking idiot. No one will love that's, that's ridiculous. And self awareness, which is my life is amazing. And I'm being fucking suck right now. Yeah, you know, which is awareness and it's positive.

1:04:40
You writing these things like it? Should this be something we write down, we pull out of our pocket?

1:04:45
Or it's on our screensaver to know I just do all this out. And I just think if you live with an awareness of of gratitude, and perspective, and you every day, give thanks every day give thanks. Like, really? I know, this sounds cliche. We all got a little you know, just tape an attitude of gratitude. And you know, how fucking Let's sing Kumbaya and fucking hang out.

1:05:09
But we don't do it. Yeah. Like, we don't do it. We get caught up in bullshit. And then when

1:05:15
you know, you have to work on you. Like knowing these things is not applying these things. It's all about the application. It's all about well, don't talk about meditating, meditate. Don't talk about changing the way you eat. Change the fucking way you change your relationship with food. Because all this is is an hour and a half of theory.

1:05:36
Yeah, in theory, so there is a bit of banter, just

1:05:41
banter. And you bring up meditation. It does remind me I'm paying for that meditation app as well that you are using.

1:05:50
But anyway,

1:05:50
that's is that cost you? How much is it? Tim Harris

1:05:54
15 a month or something?

1:05:57
But it was more

1:05:58
white people my

1:05:59
audio program, you might not listen to that as well.

1:06:02
Yeah. But it's it's it's it's a thought part of its the thought surely.

1:06:07
All right. One question. At least we have to have. can push them on it.

1:06:11
No, I will.

1:06:13
Just hand the mic. Right over here. Just do this. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Yep, up.

1:06:20
Well, at least it just grabbed the mic. Please. Take the microphone. Here we go. Hi. What's your name? Rob. Rob. Hey, Rob. We're about to you from around here. Oh, there we were in South know Warren south. So

1:06:32
you grew up?

1:06:33
Yeah. in Beverly Hills boy. Absolutely. On the daily talk shows intro there's an endeavor hills on Mars. Where of the sign anyway, that's a long story. Rob, why did you come tonight?

1:06:44
Because my wife. Okay. cries.

1:06:47
And she made you take them? This is going well.

1:06:49
Yeah, this

1:06:50
is good. This is actually very good for our show.

1:06:52
Yeah, this is a real life.

1:06:55
person. Yeah.

1:06:58
Mr. 97, which is great, man. What's what stands out from you, Rob with when he Craig talk what resonates with you? I've enjoyed it. First of all, but one thing is that, you know, I'm mid 40s. And I had a at a mission in my 40s. I thought that's the you're going to be the most productive you're going to be in terms of your work life. Again, the most amount of money you wearing a fucking polo shirt? Of course you are.

1:07:24
And I've got the 45. Yeah. And I said, I always said last couple years, they're going to be selfish, because we're going to do the best that we can with their family with each other. But I can say now, I've only got five years to go until I'm 50. How am I going to get there? Because I've given everything. We feel like we've given everything, you know, it takes a lot of energy to run a business to look after people. Yeah. And you're doing it for them. You're doing it for yourself, but you gotta go set some goals, and you've got to keep motivated and, and keep working at it. It's hard.

1:07:56
Yeah, it's hard to keep going is the is the ambition thing is it seems like there is and thanks, Rob, for having having the question or the statement, the that idea of ambition. And that idea of the only way that I'm going to do this is stop fucking telling myself these stories and just do it and the the relentlessness. how can how can we balance that with that Kumbaya? Chill

1:08:25
out?

1:08:27
It's Rob Rob. Rob said, so how will I get there you there, like the only moment you're ever going to live is this moment, like you're never going to live? Like when the future comes around, it won't be the future, it'll just be another installment of now. And it's not to say we shouldn't plan for what we call the future. But it also means that right now in this moment, so we, US 25 people in this room will never have this experience again. They'll never be these 25 that bad. But I'm just saying, having that awareness of this issue experience in this moment. It Like for me, I'm there's nothing in my head except this moment. And trying to be good for these people and trying to be whatever we need here, but also enjoying the moment. And so you also have to acknowledge what's awesome about your life, and what you're doing great. And what's your emotional bank balance and your spiritual bank balance and what's great about, you know, imagine if you weren't Paris, the thought not going to happen, but all of a sudden, someone very close to you. Something happened tomorrow, then all you would want is today back where that thing hadn't happened. So that doesn't mean don't plan. Don't be ambitious. But it all also means don't waste energy on stuff that today you can't change. You know, because, like, what, what, what we have, I believe most people are living in something that is really, truly a gift. But we don't have the the level of awareness around how valuable it is, until until it's ripped away from us. And I know that seems deep and philosophical, but like, I just think we live in such an amazing time. such amazing resources Australia is, in my opinion, the best country in the world for a range of reasons. There are beautiful countries, but I just think we're privileged.

1:10:14
I mean, where have you felt that you've had wasted energy, where you look back

1:10:19
when I did my insecurity, my ego, my bullshit, where I've just wasted time looking for approval, and being selfish. And and I realized that and I acknowledge that. And I can still have fun around that. But where I realized my purpose is not to build me up. It's to build others up. And I know that sounds deep and philosophical, but I truly believe that. And the more that the more selfish I am the worst I am. And and you'll never meet someone who's selfish and happy.

1:10:49
Yeah.

1:10:50
You want? Yeah, it just doesn't happen.

1:10:52
Yeah. It's misaligned. Yeah. Well, we appreciate the fact that you, you know, give time to us to gronk you have this small, both silly podcast and would let us do this amazing podcast,

1:11:05
your people. And what's next?

1:11:09
Well, that 12 inch penis things.

1:11:13
Look at my surgical options.

1:11:17
Because I've got an any.

1:11:20
Yeah, we're gonna have to actually kind of

1:11:25
what's coming up is I'm writing a book at the moment. Another one, writing another book at the moment with a help help of a research assistant who will remain nameless on

1:11:37
just in case it goes pear shaped

1:11:42
on mental toughness and resilience yet.

1:11:47
And yeah, just more more of the same. I mean, it's like you with the podcast, I'm always trying to figure out how to sorry, how do we do workshops and half days and full days in a way which resonates? And what's the best format? And what's the best?

1:12:01
What's the best model to create the most connection?

1:12:06
You know, so this Sunday or Saturday, Sunday, I'm in Brisbane doing a full day on Sunday?

1:12:13
Does it get easier, right? writing these books?

1:12:16
writing the book? Yeah.

1:12:18
As long as you know what you want to write, like, as long as you've got clarity, this is actually not an easy book to write because it's quite 20 questions was easy, because it's such it's so big, so broad, whereas mental toughness and resilience, which I think everyone not everyone, a lot of people need more of. And it's not about being gung ho or macho. It's about just being able to step into your fear and and control it rather than being controlled by it or at least manage it.

1:12:50
So yeah, it does it gets and also trying to not write a book for the sake of writing a book like this, this needs to be written. And if it's no then mean, I like I like writing things that I like writing books for people who don't read books. So stuff that's a bit deep and philosophical, but also

1:13:11
overwhelmingly understandable and useful.

1:13:14
You might get you dead on the fifth book. I'm I may get into

1:13:19
the daily talk. So thanks, everyone, for coming. It's been awesome and great. Flexing this muscle which is being in a room of more than three people doing a podcast. Thanks.

1:13:30
Thanks, everyone. Thanks, guys.

1:13:32
Hi, the daily talk show.com if you want to send us an email, otherwise, we do this every weekday.

1:13:37
Craig hapa.net. If you want to buy a book,

1:13:40
or a lot of books would feel more importantly book me for a corporate gig

1:13:44
yet to throw in a book.

1:13:47
See you tomorrow, guys. Bye.
"